Trying to Make Sense Out of Something So Horrificly Senseless!

This is even a difficult subject to bring up this morning, but as a writer of feelings, thoughts and emotions, I must share my own views about what has taken place in "small town", "any town" America and just how distraught our nation IS and SHOULD BE over this horror. NO child, NOT ONE, should ever have to endure the deep emotional and mental trauma that these very innocent children did yesterday
. As I watched in absolute disdain, surreal and not even believing what I saw was real on the news in the afternoon yesterday, every thought in my head reeled around questions, that needed answers. My heart felt a heaviness for all of those involved. From the teachers who are true hero's, that helped to protect their kids, to keep them calm and even in the midst of this "demonic" type behavior, held onto their own calmness of sorts in order to possibly save their students lives. Then there are the children. I am sure stories will come out about the braveness of the little kids. How they were worried about their class mates and friends, wanting to go out and help them. I have to wonder what went through their heads as they saw this "mad man,” this total stranger, all in black, with guns of many, ready to fire upon them, and for the most past none had anywhere to truly hide. I heard some got locked in a bathroom for safety. Others were taken into the principal's office and helped to stay quiet and calm, and I am sure the teachers had them huddling together in groups under desks and so forth trying their best to shelter them. Yet when some "maniac" walks into an Elementary School, in class rooms filled with Kindergartener's, innocent lives, that don't for the most part understand guns and the violence that they can induce within a moment's breath space, yet when they began to hear the shots, and hear I am sure screams, moans and cries of these kids as they were hit by bullets undoubtably flying all around them, I am sure in their small heads and big hearts the sheer terror began to sink in. What this "inhumane" animal did was not only to take tiny innocent lives completely away, but he took away the innocence, the child hood, the "care free" lifestyle of children and their own visions of the world. He created a chaotic dramatization of true life horror that is going to haunt these children and adults the rest of their lives. Then he is such a coward he kills himself, rather than hang around to face the consequences of his horrid, unfathomable actions.

I was so amassed in my own disbelief and loathing for this individual, I had to just remove myself from the television and news for a while to be able to truly try to grasp the unrealistic situation, and imagine what must have been happening in the minds and hearts of all of those there at the time. Here at the most wonderful time of the year for a child’s life in particular, now shall never be the same again. Oh, one may forget about it and the hurt lessen over time, but he even in his own “childish” behavior still wins if you even call him that, because what he done to disrupt the lives of these people forever, will stay with them until their last days on Earth. I just cannot fathom as a parent and now Grand Parent anyone wanting to harm a child in anyway, much less in this act of insanity. I just am not able to “step into his boots”, NOR DO I WANT to, other than to want answers why these kids has to be killed in his plan of ridding his life, his Mom’s life, and the lives of so many children that knew not a thing about this idiots on issues. Mom’s and Dad’s all over the world will again be extremely frightened to take their kids back to that school, or any school for that matter. If it happens at one, it could happen again for sure. I feel like first of all, GUNS, guns of any type other than for HUNTING, and you do NOT HUNT WITH HAND GUNS, GLOCKS, AND OTHER HIGH CAPACITY AUTOMATIC 40 ROUND CLIP HOLDING PLUS GUNS. 2nd of all not only should we completely and once and for all banned these guns in the nation, we should be having a much better education into the realms of the minds of these types of very serious maniacs, who have this much mental illness and how they are roaming around in our society and should NOT be! Where was the guys’s Mom all this time he had been mentally ill. It came out immediately when this happened on the news, yet why was this NOT an issue in the days and weeks, perhaps months and years before it came to him mass killing kids? Where there signs that everyone ignored? Was he even being medically taken care of, with therapy and medication? Where were those who somehow knew this guy had a back ground of mental issues that were not good, or the news would not have known this as quickly as they did. Just how was he able to get hold of 4 of these types of weapons???? I would say his Mom DID NOT buy these!! I would assume some how he was able to get hold of them with her ID, but the facts shall unfold over the days to come.
There are so many unanswered questions in our minds and hearts. All over this nation and our world, people with “sense” and their “faculties” (your mind) are trying to remotely fathom what makes a mad man like this?

It is just too difficult for me to continue, and I will try to write more, as it all unfolds. Love one another every day, for you just never know what might happen. I pray as this continues to be a part of our days to come, we will be able to move past the pain yet we may never understand what makes a maniac like this. This will be very difficult when no where is truly safe anymore.
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