Friday, March 13, 2015

Changing of The "Plans"... asking for positive thoughts....

Please keep "positive" thoughts my way as I try to delve into my 3rd book. I've been working on it off and on for a long while, and really began to watch it somewhat take "shape" after the first of 2015. But, I was also trying to juggle writing it, all of the errands, bills, groceries, shopping, house cleaning, cooking... and of course that list goes on and on... along with all of my activist, advocacy, Ambassador, and volunteer work. Now, I have tried to come up with more ways to make some of the daily "drum" of life, play a different tune for me. I've re-organized (or I trying to) how I deal with the daily things that all of us must do, and also be loyal to my own blog and book... PLUS remain a huge VOICE as  I feel I must in the realms of my advocacy, activism, volunteer, and ambassador work as well. I never want to "negate" how critical I feel it is to give true "voice" to those out there with these often daily, chronic illnesses, pain, and make sure I am doing my part to help in that also. So, as I try to "coordinate" more, "combine tasks more"... and give myself plenty of "quality time" to write. I can't write 10 sentences, then have to get up, leave, run errands, go to the market, do laundry, and 4 hours come back and pick up where I left off... my mind just does not work that way anymore... with all of the brain fog, as well as stress, and the "business" of life, I have to allow myself to "tune out" some of those things, and let go of some of the stuff I tend to lay way too much priority on, that I need not. I don't have to have every dish, every towel, every floor, every inch of my car.... all in "perfection" .... some of that type "A" personality, must go... I've had to face that my mind just won't and cannot deal with way too many "irons in the fire" at once. When I do that, then I am more concerned about "doing" other "stuff", then do the "stuff" I WANT and need to do... LOL... no that does not mean I am going to have bare cupboards, do no cooking, never clean, or do laundry, not do all of the daily items, but I can do them in a bit different manner, thus freeing a "chunk" of time up to write, to do my advocacy work, to work on my blog... and so forth... thus that is my plan, and goal... of course like all great ideas, that may not come to fruition either... but I can try... plus I've tended to "neglect" the fact that I am in a GREAT DEAL MORE PAIN, than I wanted to admit to myself and my doctor. There is something going on, whether related to the RA, Lupus, my hips, osteoporosis... or what ever... that is causing me a world of hurt, that was under control for a long while. So, that may mean reconsidering my "autoimmune medications"... and also opting for more medication coming to me from my pain pump, in another small increment. I had it put in around October 2010... and for the 1st year, we "adjusted" it almost monthly... then we got it pretty well working as well as it was going to.... and 2 years ago, I went through another spell, where I was in "intractable" pain... again lower back, hips, legs... we adjusted the medication then, and there has not been a change since that time. So, I did tell my specialist last time he refilled my pump, that I was "jumping up" on the scale of pain... and he did "up" it a tiny bit... which is always how they have to handle it... but even with that, I am still in too much daily pain... and even though I and everyone knows we are NEVER completely "free" of pain... it just does not happen... so... I am going to ask him next week - Jim has an appt with them on Monday, about coming back in and having him "Up' the dose again. From there, I will be probably working with my Rheumatologist on trying a different "combination" of meds for the RA/Lupus.... but I really don't see him until May... yet I can email him, and sometimes he makes changes in between visits, since he is so swamped with research, teaching and seeing patients... that our visits are usually far between... Anyway... that is where I am at this moment... and I shall put one foot in front of the other... (by the way I have MY BOTTOM DENTURES FINISHED A WEEK FROM TODAY!!!!!!)))))) THAT WILL BE A HUGE HELP ALSO.... Thanks all... Rhia Steele​

No comments: