Moving Past "Loss", now I face another specialist, a "wound care specialist" and trying to survive from autoimmune illnesses, and all that comes with it.... more also about the accident...


There were a couple of my friends who posted on FB to me, and this is what I wrote there in regard to some of the things they mentioned... in the days to come, I will reveal much more about this accident that has totally destroyed more lives than anyone knows... and how I see that in the end, those who harm others knowingly, and then lie and cheat... later do get what they deserve... and as from personal experience, I never have to do anything... life takes care of those people in its own way and time.....


I almost feel like I've had to "begin a new day of my life" over and over and over again, almost like "Groundhog Day" the movie... where each morning you wake up, wanting things to be different, to move ahead, to break from the stagnation of all of the bad stuff, the illnesses, the sadness, the grief, the loss, yet it remains... I am trying so hard to get well! I desperately want to get a new pup for myself and for my Chiweenie Bub's.. He is just now beginning to show signs of being "happy" again. He is eating much better, he is bringing me his toys, like last night, he brought me one of his latest "babies", I have called them their babies... and he wanted me to play with him... he had not done that for months and months... between Jim leaving so suddenly, then us losing my Pug Tazzy, who even though at times they appeared to be a bit of rivals, he misses her so much.... and he also "fears" I will leave and not come back. I see it in his eyes, when I tell him I have to run errands, and I will be back soon.. and then when I come home, his is almost crying, standing at the door, and I can tell he is so relieved I am home again... I've really tried to give him even much more love and attention that before.... just so he knows I am not leaving him.... but I feel with the right new "fur-kid" he will once again have a playmate, and someone here to keep him occupied when I have to run errands.... and that of course is just the "top" layer of many layers of life... almost like these two "holes" in my thighs... so many "top layers" of my skin look like they have "eroded" - and it is one frightening sight to say the least... I am also extremely concerned about Jim and his own mental and emotional state, after such a terrible let down with the trial.... ALL OF US AGREE even our lawyer that their were "lies", "people were paid off" to lie, and the driver and owner LIED under oath.... and then I still question the "jury"... there was something terribly wrong with them... I saw it, and I was only there a couple of hours... but I saw it in their faces, and it was almost as if they had made their minds up even before the trial began... a "corporation" again us "individuals" and if they are "dirty" then they could care less about the lives that have been destroyed by their own employees recklessness on the road, his driving while TALKING ON A CELL PHONE, and on so much more... BUT THEY have to live with themselves every day... and if they have any "heart" and maybe they just do not... it will be a burden they carry around forever and to their own graves. I do know from doing a search online about the company, that they have lots of "not satisfied" customers, who say online they have lied and cheated them... so that tells me enough, plus they were TOO SURE through this entire mess, they were not willing to budge an inch, offer a settlement etc... because they PAID OFF people to lie... no way, no how these "so called" witnesses, "seen" that accident, where the car was, whether the hood flew up or not, and I've said it all along.... those people were "found" before I even got the police report and paid to lie... I know it in my heart, I just cannot prove it.... so let them stew in their own deceit... what goes around.... definitely shall come around... I have watched it happen way too many times... I never have to do a thing, but sooner or later those who harm others lives, do pay a price....
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