Another Week of an Elderly Mom, some type of "Dementia", me trying to cope and deal with her, and all of my severe pain, and missing surgeries, and doctors appts because she is ill....

I am MOSTLY on the sofa today I HOPE! This has been another week of hell... to say the least... Mom "seems" to do better on the days I go over there... but yesterday I was trying to get my yard down enough so with this rain it would not get any taller than it already was.... so between my cordless weedeater and my cordless lawn mower it was even hell with all of the weeks and it still being so wet from the humidity... I cleaned out from under my mower at least 4 times trying to clear that mess out from under it... but I got "most" of the tall stuff back and front down for now... I am paying for it today... and have been paying for it all week... I NEED THIS NECK SURGERY and now I KNOW I HAVE TO HAVE THE LUMBAR/SACRAL surgery also... I keep "putting them off" because of Mom mainly... until I know that the Nurse, and the Home Health is going to go over, and she is getting one meal brought to her daily... I feel I cannot go through with the surgeries... I feel she does NOT even grasp that I will be "down" for at least 2 weeks, I should not drive, even though I will probably have to around town... after a week, but that means I can "barely" take care of me and the pups, and I will NOT be able to lift anything heavy, or be taking lots of stuff over to her, or be able to go over there every day, for at least a week or so... after that, then I still will be in a neck brace at the very least 6 weeks maybe longer because this surgery calls for taking OUT all of the "hardware" he put in , in 2012 and redoing it plus the new issues with discs compressed... so then he also is calling for some type of "bone growth stimulation" which I gather he means on the outside, I will have to wear because due to my osteoporosis, the RA and Lupus, he fears I may have further issues with my vertebra and getting all of that to fill in and heal... which takes 6 months or longer for "my own bone fragments" to heal in the "cage" they put in and if they have to use "other types" it may take longer.... I rescheduled the cervical neck surgery for May 4th and unless something horrid happens I HAVE TO HAVE THIS SURGERY NO MATTER WHAT! I will be "well enough" to go down to Corpus Christi to what my Granddaughter graduate, and hopefully stay a day or so, then come through and stay in San Antonio for a night, and see the Riverwalk before heading home... I will have to see how well I am feeling.. with the 1st neck surgery I felt GREAT even before I left the hospital, all of the pain in my shoulder blades and down my arms was "gone" almost right after the surgery, I can only hope I do that well this time... that has been 4 years ago, and lots can change with a body in 4 years.... anyway, 

Mom is NOT EATING! In fact, I got PISSED at HER yesterday! I told her if she continues to LAY IN BED, NOT EAT, NOT DRINK (AN NO CARBONATED ANYTHING), and NOT think she can live off of Ensure, and get back to eating some, supplementing it with the Ensure, and begin to move around some, that her "bowels" (which is what she keeps griping about) were NOT GOING TO DO RIGHT! Plus if she continues to NOT TAKE HER MEDICATIONS, she will NOT be well, or feel well. So, I MADE HER TELL ME SOMETHING SHE WOULD EAT... and I went and got the chicken strips (although fried anything she would put in her system), mashed potatoes, and a roll... plus I brought her LARGE GLASS OF UNSWEETENED TEA, and told her she needed to drink ALL of IT! She is also "dry and dehydrated which does NOT help either... she cannot expect her stomach NOT to hurt, if she puts NOTHING in it, and for her intestines to "work" without getting up moving around some and taking her proper medications... when I ask her if she too her meds... 

I get this answer "Well, I took something"... NO she took NOTHING of her regular daily medications, they were in the pill box on the table! Plus she is drinking milk, which Mom NEVER drank milk or ate much of anything with "milk" in it.. SO I TOLD HER SHE COULD BE LACTOSE INTOLERANT" and may not even know it... because up until the past month or so, she never ate much cheese, never drank milk, never ate much of anything other than breads, bisquits, etc... other than that not much dairy stuff... and if I take her to a doctor he will basically TELL HER THE SAME THING I AM SAYING... she has to EAT some, TAKE HER MEDS AS SHE IS SUPPOSED TO, get UP and MOVE, and quit laying in that bed 24 hours a day... and LAY OFF THE COLA'S AND THE MILK... 

I told her to drink water, drink "green tea" some, but nothing dairy, and nothing carbonated at all, no coffee, nothing with caffeine in it, and continue to drink the ensures but EAT WITH IT! Anyway, when I left yesterday afternoon, she had taken all of her medications, she DID EAT SOME, and of course she can't hold a lot at a time, because she is NOT eating.... and she was drinking the tea, I left a pitcher of water and a glass there, and gave her one pain pill. 

Then I told her after that pain pill begins to kick in to get up and quit laying down all the time... to at least move around to the kitchen, get up and sit in her chair in the living room, but MOVE AROUND SOME... and today through the next several days our weather is supposed to be HORRIBLE, THUNDERSTORMS, FLASH FLOODS, HAIL... no telling what from today through at least TUESDAY.. so I told her I was NOT well either, I've been in pain, unable to sleep, my stomach is not the best either, but mine is nerves and stress more than anything, and the nurse and the aid are supposed to start next week, but I prefer they not come until our weather is a bit more stable after Tuesday or so... I will NOT get my car out in possible hail if I can avoid it.... anyway, I had to get all of that off my chest., it hurts so bad to sit here and write dammit, and I need to write and do some things online, but it is hell for me to sit here very long... keep us in your thoughts and prayers... it is going to honestly take a "miracle" I think for her to get "better".... Hugs, Rhia
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