Showing posts with label Dad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dad. Show all posts

Friday, March 27, 2020

15 years ago My Dad passed away on that Easter Sunday... here is some of his story...



Today it was about this time from Seattle (I think) I was talking to Dad.. He "heard" me I know... about 10 minutes or so after we hung up, he took his last breath...almost like he was waiting on my phone call... It took me a LONG time to forgive myself for not going town from Seattle, But him going downhill so quickly I may have never made it... It was better now I know for me to go down like I did to be there with Mom and the kids... during the days after and for the funeral.. Dad sang in church often - and his favorite song was (the song below)


Dad passed away March 27th, 2005 on Easter Sunday. I had been on the phone with him (I think he KNEW it was me) waiting for me (I was in Seattle WA living when he suddenly got critically ill from a knee replacement surgery that went very WRONG! The best we know is he probably got an infection that spread to his brain, and/or maybe mini-strokes. He had Diabetes and wasn't great about taking care of what he ate and taking his medication. I still talk about Him often. Right now, with the Pandemic going on it so reminds me of what he lived through, he was born in 1923, but did remember the Great depression, some, even though he was very young. All of how they lived what they went through (one time when he was about 10 years old, he ate some "green pecans".. in the middle of the night woke up severely ill, so bad, that they thought he may die... back then there were no hospitals, and rarely doctors in the country.. but His Dad got up, took the wagon miles and miles to get the only doctor around...he brought him back, and Dad pulled through... but that was just one thing I remember when I see how things are today... they wore shoes till they could no longer patch them, then they got a new pair ordered from the Sears catalog, his Mom made bread or bisquits every morning... they had "lunch pails" that were much like a paint can round with lid on it... he often carried a bisquit and a piece of sausage for his lunch.. BUT back then EVERYONE was in the same shape.... no one thought about it being any different... he GRADUATED in a ONE ROOM school house that ALL AGES were in that same room, I think IT WAS A CLASS OF 12 SENIORS & HE WAS I BELIEVE Valedictorian or Salutatorian.. right now I can't recall which... this was the last time I saw Dad... It was in 2004... I flew back for Amanda's & Jimbo's (my daughter's) wedding.. and I drove 7 hours up from near Corpus to see bHim and my Mom before having to drive back to San Antonio to fly back out. Dad, there is not almost 1 day I don't think about you... things you taught me, and lessons that no school could ever teach, how to respect others, be honest and truthful, work for what you get, be kind, and so many other things that have stuck with me in my years... I Love you and I know you and Mom are Happy to be together....



















"Pearly White City"

Saturday, February 1, 2020

To My Beloved Dad.. Happy Birthday on Groundhog Day Dad!

This was the last photo and last time I got to see him in 2004... I came down from Seattle for my daughters wedding to Corpus.... and then drove for a few hours trip all the way to Ennis to see my parents before going back to San Antonio to fly back to Seattle...



I was glad I made that trip. He passed away 2005 on Easter Sunday after a knee replacement got severely infected...
He would be 97 years old tomorrow....

Saturday, June 16, 2018

Happy Father's Day to Each Dad, Step-Dad, Dad to be, Granddad and My Own Dad who went to Heaven in 2005!



HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! To Every Dad, Granddad, Step-Dad, those who are waiting to become a Dad, and to those such as Wonderful Son In Law, who is a tremendous Husband, Dad, Son, and Son In Law!!!! wishing all Dad's including my own who went to heaven in 2005 a very wonderful and special day!!!!!




Sunday, June 21, 2015

Happy Father Day To all of the Fathers, Grandfather, Father to be, and those men that have been like a "Father" to some...


    Wishing All a very Happy and Beautiful Father's Day!

While I have this on my mind, and before I decide to probably run over and visit Mom, I thought I would say "Happy Father's Day" to ALL of the Dad's out there!!!!! My Dad passed away 10 years ago this past March 27th. Even though it has been 10 years, I still miss him almost everyday of my life. I find myself at times wondering how he would "do something" I may be working on, or when I am tending to my plants and lawn, how beautiful his lawn, garden, flowers and all used to be. I have all kinds of great memories, from "running over him" when I was 6 with my brand new bike. I begged for him to take the training wheels off and he finally did. He was working on some quail pens in the garage, he used to raise them, and I forgot the "brakes"... LOL... I ran right into the garage, over the pens, Dad and all... when I recall it now, it is just too funny... he was a man of many talents, from singing, to loving the outdoors, his lawn, a garden, he made home made jelly, he loved to hunt and fish... and I was just a bit of a tomboy back then, so just about anywhere he went, I wanted to be right there beside him.. I think many things I've learned from gardening and plants, to wanting people to just tell the truth, and he was the same, he would rather hear the truth no matter how badly it maybe, than to lie to him... He was "Overprotective" of me, but I came along many years after my half-brother... who went into the Air Force when I was about 5 or so, and spent 20 years all over the world until he retired. So, I was like an "only child" and a girl also. He like everyone was not perfect. But, I loved him and still do no matter how perfect or imperfect times were. He taught me the love of "people"... he enjoyed being around people, and always had the utmost respect, and I feel he was always well liked around our community. So, in honor of my own Dad, Minnis, and to ALL Dad's here and those who are now not on this Earth... I wish all a wonderful Father's Day!!! Enjoy your family, kids, spouse, friends... time flies by too fast.... Rhia Steele

Sunday, April 26, 2015

#HAWMC WEGO Health's Writer's Challenge "How to "Smile" & Try and Feel Better Even Though Things are NOT as They Seem! How to Handle a "Bad Day"

I will attest, WEGO Health and the bunch, you have came up this entire month with some incredible "prompts"!


This is truly a great one also. 5 Tips to overcome" a Bad Day"!

I would venture to say (I guess at the moment I speak for myself), having chronic illnesses and Chronic Pain is almost something "negative" we live with daily. Of course some days are worse than others. We have our "memorable days". Those that we wished we could bottle up, and be able to open and have a sense of remembering them in touch, sight, smell, feel and thought! Of course all of us have those great memories. The idea of truly being able to capture them "hook, line and sinker" as the old saying goes could make them even more capable of giving over to the times when things feel like you are on top of the ever shaking mountain, and could conquer the world.

For me, I usually know very quickly, if I am going to have "one of those days." When I arise from bed, and everything hurts, I realize I have 3 or 4 doctors appointments, things my Mom needs done in that next few days, it is not sunny outside, OR it is HUMID and MUGGY; which brings on even more pain, that is when I feel like crawling under my bed, with my "granny blanket" as I call my favorite blanket with the silk on the edges, and hide for at least 24 hours, maybe more.

So, when things start off like that, I head to Facebook first, to find something "positive", "
funny, strange, thoughtful or whatever some friends have posted, that make me smile because they just have that ability. For instance, I have a dear friend who has a very busy
Fibromyalgia group. She seems to always know, when I need something to smile about. So, often times when it feels like I am "drenched from the fog of a lousy day" she has sent a "bundle of virtual flowers" and a small note to say "I totally get it and I understand". So, my first tip for "one of those days" is to "look" for something positive. If you have a FB page with friends who tend to find either positive things, pretty cards, or something funny to post, go and see if they have posted something. Usually if you scroll through the new posts, you will find one that just "fits" to make things feel a bit better. My next thing is that rather than allow all of that "garbage" to float around in my mind, I write down a list of what has to be done! Whether it is for just that one day, or for the next few very busy ones ahead, by writing them down on a list (I suggest literal paper and your favorite pen) rather than typing them out, making that list helps to put things into perspective. I feel I can better handle it all. I kind of purged it out of my thoughts by writing it on paper with my favorite pen (by the way, no one touches my favorite pen)! So, my 2nd way to make it a bit better is to write a list of what needs to be done, so you can kind of rid your mind of all of the stuff that is floating around almost eating at you.

My next thing I try to do, is take a look at the local weather. As silly as that sounds, once I have down a list of what needs to be done etc, then I want to know what to expect if I am having to go out and have things to take care of outside the house, the weather sometimes really makes a difference. Right now it is "thunderstorm, hail, high wind and possible tornado" time in Texas. So, if there is a 90 percent chance of thunderstorms, that are probably involving hail and high winds, then I decide what things I can do here at home done, and avoid going out in terrible weather. I know the day is only going to be worse, if I am fearing my new vehicle being hailed on, or going somewhere and having blinding, drenching rain, lightening and thunder all around. So, my 3rd thing to make for a better day is to KNOW what to expect weather wise. The weather makes such a difference "physically speaking" also. If I am already hurting, stiff, and feel lousy, then I see the weather has a high humidity, a barometric pressure that is nuts one way or the other, then I can "expect" the pain and stiffness, and "blame it on the weather" or at least partially know for sure, it is NOT helping.

Writing seems to be my way of truly ridding myself of the gunk in life that causes me great grief. So, my 4th idea is usually to write in my blog about all that is really eating at me, or post on Facebook, and ask my friends to keep me in their thoughts that day. Sometimes I just write and not post it. I hold onto it for a bit, to see if I really want to just rain pain down on everyone else. At times a post where I am griping, whining, fussing, and just letting it all out, is perfect for my Facebook page. When I can tell that others are also having a crappy day, pain wise or whatever, empathy goes a long way. Now, when I say empathy, I mean those people that REALLY understand what you are going through. Not the "acquaintances" that don't get it, because they are either not chronically ill, or have chronic pain. But, those friends who are often in the trenches of hell in illness, right along beside you. Or if you see there are other dear friends that are really having one of those days also, then I try and send a post to help lift them up. That empathy, can work both ways. If you are able to put aside your stuff for a bit, and tell someone else you totally understand, and you wished you could fix it, make it go away, or be better you would. Sending a little picture of something cute, or pretty, flowers, kids, beautiful scenery, anything that is positive and just can cut through that bad stuff for a moment, always helps to make me see, "I am NOT the only one having a heck of a day". So, writing and then also uplifting someone else can help me to put my own stuff into a better perspective.

Sometimes for me, since I love to bake, if things are really horrible, and I want to jump off the Earth, I go and bake something wonderful. Getting everything out of my face and out of my mind, and baking does that for me, can turn a bad day into "okay, I can deal". Then there are times, that I will just think to myself, pain or not, fatigue or not, do something constructive. I in fact have been having one of "those days" now for about 2 WEEKS! So, yesterday, as bad as I felt, I cleaned my house. I "swiffered" my hardwood floors, then I mopped them with my hardwood floor cleaner that smells like lemons. I got out my duster, sprayed some lemon dusting spray" on it, and went over pictures on the wall, around base boards, under the bed where all of those dust bunnies hide, and over some of my furniture etc. I am not talking a huge spring clean, but one where you can do just enough, that gives you a sense of you accomplished something in spite of the junk, and take a smell of just how "clean" and fresh your home smells. That lemon smell, or any type of citrus, just makes everything to me smell like a fresh spring and summer day. Plus, I could visibly "see" that my effort paid off. Things looked neater, cleaner, and I moved around stiffness, pain and all, which helped to take my mind off the pain, the stiffness and I got some exercise with it also.


Those are 5 that come to mind at first. Sometimes I just have to get out, and go walk. I may spend a half hour trapesing up and down my long driveway, ranting and raving to myself, about how life had just wronged me that day. Again, any way I can "purge" my mind of "the stuff the binds me" helps to turn a bad outlook around. Some days I take a drive to where my Dad is buried. He has been gone now 10 years, which seems impossible, but I go out there, and in all of the quiet, peace, the sea of colors with flowers everywhere, and I can quietly "talk" to Dad, there comes some peace of mind.  I may take new flowers to put out on his grave and my Grandparents. I enjoy doing that, so it helps to turn the day around also. When things are just ALL out of sorts, and I am dropping stuff, spilling, stuff, hurting badly, and everything I touch seems to turn into a huge mess, I give up, go set on the sofa with my two pups, one on each side, and chill to watch a movie. Having them beside me, and getting my thoughts off of all of the bad stuff, also puts me in a place of, "Okay now I can handle some of this stuff". Maybe I have some kind of small treat. A cookie I love, or a bite or two of a cake, pie, or something I've baked. Others I may go outside, hopefully with my gardening gloves and literally just pull the weeds, and stray grass from around my flowers. That helps to take my mind off of things.

The very best thing I can do, when it's possible, it try and just get completely away for a day or overnight. If I've had some really busy weeks, things have just been too hectic, too full of illness, doctors, medications, fighting with insurance, and there seems to be no end, then I get my Mom, and we go for at least a day visit, usually to the Casino in Oklahoma. We usually have "complimentary" rooms for a night or two. So, if time permits an overnight stay. As I had said before, being able to just totally get out of the house, of out of town, and away from all of the stuff that can just put you into overload, as soon as I pull into that Casino parking lot, and enter the doors, everything else seems so small in comparison. We are not much as far as gamblers, and usually play the "penny" slots, and my Mom likes the 25 cent slots. But, it is the people, we watch others and see how excited they are, or when you here the cheer from one of the tables, and know someone just did well, or just to relax and eat at one of their great eating places, and walk, walk and walk. The one we go to usually is now once again I believe considered the "largest casino in the world". I can attest to the fact, that a lap or two around the entire casino area in itself, not including the three huge hotels, and then the smaller one they call "The Inn", can give you all the exercise you need for a day or so. Plus there are no clocks, no windows, and with all of the sounds, lights, people, music and noises, everything else pales in comparison. I leave there still kind of in a "trance" almost. Even though it is only a day or one overnight trip, it can smooth the "edges" off of life's rigid times.

It will be interesting to read how others rid themselves of a bad day! I know WEGO Health keeps me busy, and they help to take my mind off of the "bad days" also.