"Cake" The Movie - A "must see" for all of us who suffer through at times "intractable pain" & just how it truly effects every part of our lives

I haven't finished watching the movie "Cake" with Jennifer Aniston in it. I started it earlier in the afternoon, because I've been waiting for it to come out. After seeing the information on it, on the Arthritis Foundation Website, and then watching a preview of it, I knew as soon as I could find it, I would watch it. I knew it would not be "funny"... and I knew it would probably be a very difficult and sometimes even emotionally painful one to watch. So far, Jennifer should get an Emmy, Golden Globe and whatever else they give out for "best performing" artist. She is totally amazing in this film, and she truly gives "heart" into just how horrid life can turn on a dime. As I took a break for a moment, and walked outside looking at the deep dark clouds around, I realized how within a "breaths space" as my saying goes, that life can go from "good, you are working, in a good relationship, have a home, family and all seems to be going well, and before you can turn around ALL of that and more become like someone put your entire life into a blender, blended it well, and poured it all over the floor... and like an extremely difficult jigsaw puzzle, you don't even know "which piece" to pick up, and how to begin "trying to glue" your soul, your heart, body, mind, spirit, everything back together... to even somewhat "resemble" how it used to be... pain, whether physical, mental, emotional... whether from accident, illness, or whatever may bring it on... can sometimes for some be much too hard to bear... we ALL step into the "space between"... dark and light... trying to decide whether we need a "flashlight" or a pair of sunglasses... and everywhere you turn... it seems to be the wrong direction... I have NO answers... but I STILL have the "want to"... to continue to put one foot in front of the other, to climb one inch up the mountain, and when I begin to fall, dig my heels in and sometimes they may bleed, along with the fingers that the rocks have dug into also... but determination, will, longing for the better, and knowing for SOME REASON I am HERE!!!! ... I continue to be "here".... I may never fully understand the "why's"... and honestly right now... if I try to even begin to figure it out, I just get more confused... so I just "am"... and I will listen to my heart, and my head... and I know those will point me in the direction I need to go.... I say this because I truly KNOW there are MANY just like myself... and YOU also, may not know the "answers"... but you can certainly take those "baby steps" to a better reasoning someday... as to the full truth.... Each of you that continue to ask about me, pray for me, be concerned about me... and love me... without condition, just as I am... Thank you... and if you feel you are "strong enough" emotionally, I ask you to watch, the movie, "Cake".... 

 

After I finished it, I was a bit "bewildered" by the ending. I know as she "Jennifer" did what she did at the very end, it was a signal, that from there she would begin to "heal". I guess I expected an ending possibly of a bit more of how she began to put things into perspective. But, then as I thought about it throughout the rest of the evening and this morning, that it was left up to us, the audience, and possibly those of us suffering from such a tremendous, almost unbearable heart break, that we vary, all of us, how we "move past" loss, whether of someone we love, loss of our "normality" of life".


I am glad I felt "strong enough" to watch this. In so many ways, it "fit" just what I am going through at this time in my life.... my own illness, pain, and all that goes with it (them), a "loss" of who I am, who I used to be, and still wished I was in some ways, a loss in a relationship, actually do to an accident, not the loss of a child, which I just cannot begin to fathom just how painful and horrible that has to be... but a loss in a relationship I've had for 13 years... basically due to a few moments, and within those moments everything in two lives changed forever....

I saw pieces of my own anger, frustration, wanting one moment to be alone, and the next wishing someone would just hold me... and tell me things will get better... and in the next breath the anxiety of how I will accomplish all that needs to be done, and then the realization, as ill as I am, I HAVE BEEN doing EVERYTHING anyway... so why is "now" any different than a few weeks ago? 

The pushing away people so they don't see the fear, the anguish, the heartache, or the pain, physical, mental and emotional... days like today, that I would just as soon sit on my sofa, with my two pups beside me, and do nothing but watch movies all day long. Which in reality, I could. But, that would not do anything but put me further behind in things that I either need to do or things that I want to have done, most of which I have to do myself.


So, chronic illnesses, chronic pain... all of them... whether autoimmune, that effects every aspect of your entity... your body, sometimes in so many different ways and in different parts of your body... emotionally having something chronically with you, illnesses and/or pain, tears you mentally to pieces... it just does and anyone that would say it does not, has not came to the "reality" that they are truly ill. 

The brain fog, the slowness of thoughts, forgetting things, having notes to keep up with notes, calendars, and still forgetting appointments, birthdays.. and even if you do remember more often than not, you just don't have the strength, or stamina to go to an event... even going to the doctors office or going for a test of some kind is just such a major ordeal, that I just find myself postponing a test, because I just cannot stand the idea of having to be put through it.

Besides I already at times know the results, and the test honestly is just to "cover" the doctors butt, and to shut the insurance companies up... they waste so much money and time... when you could have had whatever "fixed" and be healing rather than going through some expensive scan, test, etc... that still does not give them the things they need to know. I have more than once some to figure out, why it is to the point of so many tests, scans etc.... each and every time I had a "joint surgery"... when they actually can "see inside" the joint in the surgery, they find it was much worse than any CT, MRI or X-ray was showing... so to me, once again so many hundreds of thousands of dollars just wasted, along with a patients time... when surgery is the only answer to truly KNOW AND SEE what is exactly wrong.


I hope you do watch this movie, you get some things out of it, that shall help you find your way through it, and take something from it to help you, and your own chronic illness and pain...

Sonograms!!?? Why have Doctors NOT already done these???

This just totally blew me away! I've fussed and griped for YEARS about how each and every time I've had to have a "joint surgery" and how badly I was in pain; plus do to my joint history, the, the DJD. the DDD, the RA, Lupus and the list goes on and on, when I go in with a joint hurting, it usually means we are destined for surgery, maybe even replacement. I recall when my left elbow gave me so much trouble, and not long after my left shoulder began to drive me insane with pain, loss of range of motion, stiffness, and the entire gamut. I went through all of the tests, the MRI's. the CT's, with and without "contrast", X-rays, medication and nothing usually worked.  I may have some relief from a corticosteroid injection into the joint, and that may last for a day, month and sometimes even a year. On my right shoulder, I had several rounds of injections, way before we did any type of arthroscopic surgery. Yet, even though all of those "expensive" tests, that were supposed to be the "gold standard" when it came to diagnosis, may show some damage, spurs and so on, BUT, when every surgeon that did my various surgeries actually got to "see" the massive amount of damage in the joint, they then understood why I was so adamant about NOT using those tests as much, as more "heavily weighing" from my long term symptoms, them actually getting worse than ever better, and that there much more damage in the joint than any type of scan, MRI, and so forth ever would show them. In fact, my orthopedic surgeon who did both my complete right reverse shoulder replacement and my 4 level cervical neck surgery, told me himself. The damage was so deep, and it was extremely bad, but there was no way it would have shown on any test. Sam thing with my neck, it was the same with my elbow on the left, my shoulder on the left, and both knees. It never failed that the doctors would always tell me that what they actually saw by doing the surgery, was far more worse, than any type of a scan, MRI and so would have ever shown.

I have also said that I felt that any "scan", MRI, X-ray and so forth is only as "good" as the person it with experience and knowledge to read them. I can just tell, from all I've heard about and read, that often things are NOT found, or they are far worse, than what the "radiologist that read them said.

It just stands to reason, if someone has the "education" yes, that is a huge part of it. But, when you are looking at something as complicated as the inside of a joint, or any organ for that matter, if you don't have not only the knowledge but experience to totally "see" all of that entire ordeal, then all too often, I felt things were ""missed" because of whomever read them, didn't have enough experience or possibly training, to not miss something. Again, this is not just joint related but any type of scan, and so forth, things could be missed, and could cause serious issues if they are not caught in the beginning.

Same way with "blood work"... they are coming to find with many diseases, that all too often that "blood work" again that is supposed to be another "gold standard" for diagnosis, MAT NOT BE accurate. It could have been not processed quickly enough, or no refrigerated in time, or blood work has been known to get "mixed up" and maybe what was read had nothing to do with you. Many may not realize it, but on some of the very complicated blood work that they do, it may be actually "shipped" even out of state to be processed. Some of these tests either take extremely high dollar equipment, time, and the person to make sure it is done accurately. Again, there can be a mix up, something not processed in time, left out too long, or any number of things could "go wrong" before the actual test is ran, and the outcome that is "right", could be wrong.

I know I am NOT the ONLY PERSON who has been through this very issue. Even when I had the double hernia's. I had 2 doctors, a sonogram tech, a PA, ALL miss the HERNIA"S!! I knew they were there. I even told them exactly how to locate them, and why they would not locate them if I lie down, they would kind of "settle" down into my abdomen, and then they were difficult to locate. Yet, I have one huge lump on the left, and the one on the right had just began to show. I finally went to a regular SURGEON. He "found" them immediately and said I needed to have them both repaired before they got worse. The one on the left was already getting fairly large and the right one was headed that way.

Yet, even with a sonogram, 2 doctors, and one PA all doing an exam, none of them found them whatsoever. Yet, I was persistent, that I would NOT take "no" for an answer. I had at least ONE hernia, and I planned on getting someone to freaking listen!

Well the week after seeing the surgeon, I went in and had a double hernia repair.


So, went it with my elbow, my knees, both shoulders.... no matter how many scans, tests, reports, experts, and all that are involved WE, KNOW our BODIES better than anyone else. And if YOU FEEL SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT, then do NOT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER! CONTINUE TO go onto other doctors until someone can give you an explanation that at the very least makes sense!!!

This day and age about "people" not being "educated" about medical problems, especially chronic ones, has far past us. The majority of this nation and around the globe, with the internet, and so many "reliable" web sites, doctors, specialists, documentation, everywhere can absolutely have a great deal of information about "possible" things that could be wrong, to others letting them know possibly how they dealt with a certain treatment, or surgery... and YES, there is also some BAD information out there too You must use you "brain and common sense" when it comes to weeding out the "good info" from the 'bad info"....

So, I totally understand doctors that get a bit annoyed with a patient that comes in and begins to tell them they know what is  wrong with them, because they read it online, they heard it on day time TV, or several of their online friends have the same issue.

I get their point. But, when I go in, I don't begin to "rattle off" what I've found online, I usually go in with a "list".... and I ask questions, about certain things I may have read online. Yet, I try not to put my foot down and say "I know what it is because I found out about all of it, here, there or yonder. But ALWAYS TAKE A LIST!!! I can guarantee even though you may have a photographic mind, and like myself I used to be able to do all kinds of things and multitask. Yet, now days, as soon as I walk into the doctors office, I've without a list I would forget have of what I went to ask about. Thus that list helps to keep YOU focused, and also let them know what kinds of things maybe going on with you, that can help them to make a better "guess-ta-ment" or find the answers to whatever is going on with you and your health.

So, now I get to the article below. Which talks ALL about the VERY thing I've been fussing and griping about!!! A very SIMPLE test, that is certainly NOT INVASIVE, and it MUCH CHEAPER than many of these other tests, that give the doctors, a much better look at what might really be going on, especially when it comes to joints, inflammation and on forth.

So, PLEASE take a moment, and read this below!!! Then PLEASE share it with your own friends and those who have been through hell and back, sometimes for YEARS trying to get a right and accurate diagnosis!

I have already got it where I can print it and take it to my own doctors!!! I think they all need a "wake up" call.

http://rawarrior.com/professionals-call-for-ultrasound-use-in-rheumatoid-arthritis/