"Sharing" My Annual Christmas Letter with Each of You! - And Wishing you a Wondrous Holiday Season Despite Chronic Illness/Pain,RA,Lupus,FM, Sjogren's and More

I debated as to whether to "share" this with everyone here or not... but I feel I truly need to share "my own family, trials, tribulations, and hope that through my own "life's eyes" you can find your own "spirit" to write, email or tell your family, and extended family that "life" can sometimes be not so great, yet the "hope, faith, peace and spirit" can exist in spite of all that life decides to throw our way..... so here it is....




              ********** And Here’s A Merry Christmas Straight to You From Texas!*********


I feel as if i just completed my “Annual Christmas Letter” and once again, another year is flying by quickly. It is like with each year that passes, they seem to be shorter in length. Yet, it seems it takes me 3 times as long to accomplish anything!


Age, a subject most of us prefer not to talk about in length. Another thing is that with each birthday celebration, I feel like they come around twice a year rather than once. As I have told my son and daughter, Jason (who is 37), and Amanda (who is now 31), enjoy each moment, and savor all of the memories you can soak in, because as it used to feel when we are young, time seems to “drag” by,

Then we become adults with jobs, families, spouses, and the hectic times we live in, and time just flies by, and sometimes our memories of the good things we have seen, done, accomplished, been through, all tend to fade…

The holiday seasons always tend to bring back so many wonderful memories, of those Christmas’ when the kids were little, all of the decorating, baking, cooking, and parties that I had and went to, and how life gives us a great deal of good times, yet we tend to take them for granted. I know I have at times for sure.

Then with age, definitely comes some wisdom, and as I look back, I have had many “fulfilling” adventures, even though at the time I may not have realized it. Yet, when I think about my trips, whether vacations, with my parents, or with my own kids, or the times I took off on my own, and kind of let the wind carry me away… I always knew my “destination”… but it was always the journey to get there that made it exciting, and finally allowed to me look back and see just how “strong” (emotionally and mentally) I’ve been for the most part in my life.

So, as I try my best to “tap out” another Holiday Letter, I find myself almost as a loss for “words of true spirit” and good things from 2015. There is so much that has happened over the course of 20 plus months to my family and myself, that it will take another small “novelette” to give all of you the details of what has gone on.

The accident in 2014, that Jim, my husband was in, and the lawsuit that followed, finally came to a close the first week in November. Much to all of our surprise, it did NOT end on a “good note” for us. Basically, the jury decided it was NOT the truck driver’s fault (even though he completely ran over the back of our car and never slowed down etc.) and even though the other side tried to say our “car” was not in good shape, (they had someone say that the hood flew up while Jim was driving the car”, which I know and all of us know that did NOT happen, and never would have. My car, was in perfect condition to be on the road, and that hood was completely latched down, and did not just “suddenly” fly up. We have no way to “prove” it, but even our own lawyers tend to believe there was some “hush money”, and these “so-called” witnesses, that happened to have been outside in their yard, on a very busy I-45 coming into Dallas, and at that moment “saw” the hood open… that chances of that, you could win the lottery before that would happen. Yet, we have no way to prove that people lied on the witness stand, and I also feel there was something odd about the “jury”… I felt again, someone had been “paid” to keep their mouths shut, OR rule “no one at fault”… anyway, it left all of us devastated, more than you can even know. That accident has “wrecked” Jim’s life, especially physically, but mentally and emotionally. It totally wrecked my life, harmed my own health, and upset of course Mom, and my two children Jason and Amanda. So, due to a “truck driver” who was “on a cell phone with his brother”, and ran over the back of our car, we still basically “lost” any and all help with Jim’s medical bills, his future needs medically, he is unable to work full time due to what they now feel was more of a concussion than they first realized, he is partially paraplegic, and can walk on a cane some, but needs a wheelchair if it is a longer distance… and more than that, he moved back to Seattle 6 months ago. I am still not even sure why, other than he felt he was a “burden” on me… and that my health was suffering, and I was having to do everything, he could not cook, drive, even get down the steps by himself, and then I had Mom’s things I am doing also… thus we are still friends, and talking, keeping in touch… but whether we will ever “regain” our 13 YEARS together, 10 of those married this year in April, is still yet to be seen.

That is why partially I almost decided “not” to write this Annual Christmas Letter this year. I feel there is not a great deal of “good” that has happened to any of us over the course of 2015. In fact, Mom has not been well, and she has issues with her lumbar spine, and is getting ready to have lumbar injections in the next week or so. My internal “pain pump” also “stalled”, & I need surgery to replace it. But. 4 months ago I came down with two “lumps” one on each upper thigh, originally thought to be cellulitis. After 4 or 5 weeks of antibiotics, I was sent to a surgeon, to “incise” them, and he was NOT the doctor who should have done those procedures. I now have been going to a wound care specialist for 4 weeks in Dallas every week, so they will get well enough I can even have surgery. I also have lumbar/sacral back problems that need surgery, and without my Rheumatoid Arthritis medications, (they took me off them when I had the increase of infections with the cellulitis), so my pain level, without the pain pump, and even on oral medications do not even “touch” the horrid pain I’ve been in now for 3 or 4 months.

Mom also had some issues due to medications, and had some kidney functions problems, that they feel have been cleared up. But, she is also in pain, with her back, and the sciatic pain, but also she at 80 this year is suffering from arthritis pain several places. She had been on Celebrex, but it is the NSAIDS that caused the kidney function problems, so she cannot take any NSAIDS to help with arthritis pain. She is also on some pain medication, and we hope the epidural injections give her some relief from the back and sciatic pain.

Amanda, Jimbo, Heather, James, and Logan are doing well. I finally got to visit with them during Thanksgiving. It had been a long time since we had seen one another, so I was so thrilled that they got to come up, even though it was not long enough. Heather, their daughter will graduate this year, and already has decided to go into the Marines. She wants to be in the medical field, and feels enlisting will give her the education, the discipline and all she needs to succeed in the medical field. I am so proud of all of them. They are a wonderful wife and husband, Mom and Dad, and Amanda is an awesome daughter!

Jason has a new job, working with some electrical devices that he enjoys. So, he is doing okay. He would like to get a bit more established, and get an apartment up in the area where he is working. So, he is busy working to fulfill his goals, and he also plays guitar and sings with some of the local bands in the Dallas area. He really loves the guitar and playing. He has always been so great at that. I love music, dancing, and singing… and wished I had the talent many years ago, to do something in the music field.

But, I do write lyrics, and still practice my singing and playing the drums sometimes. I just bought a pair of boots and jeans (well waiting on the jeans to come in, I ordered them too large, so waiting on the smaller pair to come in), so I can go out and see if I can still “scoot a boot”. It has been a long time, and have not tried since both knee were replaced. So, I hope I can still love across that dance floor.

From all of us, myself, Mom, Amanda, Jason, and family… we wish you a very Happy and Merry Christmas! May the New Year 2016, bring you peace, good health, happiness, and hope. May you be blessed and overflowing with all things good!

Love you…. Pam (Rhia)

Sharing Life, Holidays, Up's, Down's, Reality, and Dealing/Coping with Holidays when You are Chronically Ill/Pain & have a broken heart, along with problems that follow....

First I share some "Good News" and Happenings lately in my life. After Losing my Pug, Tazzy here about 3 months ago, and she was a Christmas Present 14 years ago, from my "husband", (we are now separated) & Bub's and I, (my Chiweenie, who is 5) were really down and out about the holidays. My "body" really would not allow me to climb into the attic for the big tree and decorations, so I bought a small tree, and put 14 years of Sleigh Bell's, one for every year my husband and I had been together.

Then I and Bub's have been fortunate enough to have a brand new "fur-baby" addition to the family just this week! He is only about 3 months old, and his name is "Peanut". I've officially adopted him, so he is getting used to myself and Bub's, and we are learning to adapt to a new baby in the house! But, I think he is really the best "Christmas" present we could ever have, and I am so grateful he came along at just the right time.

I adopted him from a local non-profit here in my area called "Tales of Hope". It is all volunteers, who take the pups into their "foster care" until they find homes and owners for them. I am happy my Vet suggested I adopt from them, and so far it has been a very peaceful and simple thing to go through. He came and had a "house visit" for 4 or 5 days, to see if he and us were all a good fit, and then just a matter of a bit of paperwork, they take care of his puppy boosters, micro-chipping, and then neutering, in a few months when he is old enough... so we are happy he has joined us.


Here are some photo's I've taken, of them, of myself lately, and me trying to put "me" back together again, after my husband no longer here, and then of course we lost the lawsuit over the 18 wheel tractor trailer that RAN OVER HIM WHILE THE DRIVER WAS ON HIS CELL PHONE WITH HIS BROTHER!

Needless to say, I know I have told some of that story, but was kind of under a "gag" order until after the trial, which was the 1st week in November. You can imagine where that left myself, but much more than that my husband, who suffered MANY terrible injuries, of which left him partially paraplegic, without some of his "memory for things such as current", and harmed his concentration levels a great deal. All of that with the pain and suffering, from having his back basically broken in "two", with 9 fusions down the thoracic spine, and wired together... he has more "broken" ribs, that not, and a concussion, that they did not realize how badly it effected him until months and months after the accident. He is a web developer, designer, and has been for 20 years, and that takes a huge amount of concentration, and the ability to "hold onto" information as far as not only long term, but short term... which all suffered from the accident. So, without any settlement funds, he is basically not able to get health insurance, cannot apply for federal disability because he had worked for himself so many years, and made well below the amount to pay in social security. The job he had before then, he did pay in, but as we know, that has to be within so many "months" before you apply and he of course did not have those "units" before, since it has been years since he paid in from a regular job.


The pain and suffering harmed my own health of course, and he had been somewhat my "caretaker" when I had surgeries, or flares with the Lupus/RA, or was too ill. He did some of the cooking, running errands, going to the market, etc... and after the accident, he could not even walk down two steps at our front porch, much less walk in a store, drive, or do anything that required, bending, lifting, carrying and so forth. So, as any spouse would have done, I "negated" my own issues, as far as health, trying to help him heal, both physically and mentally... all the while I started getting ill with more flares, and just have one crisis after the other with my own health, and mentally of course I felt almost as if I had "lost" myself and him... I feel I was "grieving" over losing my own "health" and then to watch him change, I grieved over losing him and us.


I know in MY HEART AND SOUL.... THOSE PEOPLE on THE OTHER END OF THE LAWSUIT FLAT LIED IN DEPOSITIONS, AND ON THE STAND, I BELIEVE THEY "PAID OFF" THESE TWO SO CALLED WITNESSES, THAT I KNOW COULD NOT HAVE POSSIBLY HAD SITE OF THAT BUSY HIGHWAY COMING INTO DOWNTOWN DALLAS, I-45 THAT DAY! But, I KNOW SOMEONE USED THEIR MONEY AND POWER, AND PEOPLE TO LIE, thus we lost the suit...

BUT, WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND.... IT ALWAYS DOES... AND SOMEDAY, they WILL PAY FOR THEIR OWN WAYS, in some form or fashion... we "never" have to take "revenge" for I've seen it happen too many times... THOSE TYPES OF PEOPLE, are taken care of by their own misdeeds. We must just let it go... and "Let God".... I guess would be the proper saying.... How how, some day the "truth" will come out.... it may not "help" us by then, but when it does, it will effect their lives, and then someday they may understand just how horrible our lives have been, and what they have taken away from a marriage, a family, two people, and all we feel we "lost" within those seconds of that accident....


All right, so now I have that part out.... I am taking one step at a time, one breath, one "breath's space", and one moment, day, week... as they come... There is not much else I can do but either "give up"... or move forward... as the song, "too much time to make up, everywhere we turn, time we have wasted on the way, too much water moving underneath the bridge, let the water come and carry us away"  Crosby, Stills, and Young ...


And I have experienced so many wonderful thing in my life, things I felt I would never be able to do... travel by myself to states and states... move to a wonderful city and stay for 5 years, Seattle, snow ski at Wolf Creek Pass CO, see the beauty of Santa Fe, see a baseball game in Phoenix, make a drive all the way to Nebraska to meet a friend, to have many friends that are "miles away" but close at heart... publish not just one but 2 BOOKS, and working on this 3rd one.... dance, sing, play the drums, write music, play the piano and keyboard, go to college and get my Associate Degree, although NOT in the subject I wanted... run a "retail women's store".......see the ocean in FL, in TX (The gulf), the the Sound in Seattle, take a ferry to Bainbridge Island, see the beaches in CA, Go to Vegas, have many vacations I remember as a child with my parents, experience things I thought I may never.... BUT, STILL, I have so many more I want to do, to see, to experience, and of course go to WASHINGTON dc and "stand upon the White House Steps, and tell Congress how I feel about those in need with Lupus, RA,JRA, Osteoarthritis, and many more chronic health conditions....


My "hopes" are that my life gets back on a "new track", in a very good way beginning January 2016. My hope is that I can get back to my writing, and finish my 3rd book, and have it published. I also hope that I can find the "finances" somehow to get my home "finished"... there are so many "small" things that need to be completed, and without lots of cash, that makes it difficult to do. I really don't need a great deal of materials, and what I need is not all that expensive, but it is the "labor", and finding someone to come and do what "I can't do"... I can paint, sand, (have a new idea about my kitchen,bathroom, and laundry room floors that will cost a lot less)... I need some wall boarding put up in the spare bedroom, and in my laundry room. But, the most expensive thing I truly need is a new roof on my house. This one really is in bad shape, and I am very concerned about the Spring and Summer, and stormy weather... plus my entire outside of the house needs painting, which some of that I can do... it is the higher parts, where I have to be up on a ladder higher than I should be that I will need help with. I am going to try and put new "hog wire" fencing up around my back yard, and most of the posts are there, but I need some help getting a couple of dead trees out of the way, and then probably getting the fencing tight enough, plus this back 1/2 acre or so of land that is mine, truly needs to be completely cleaned up. I have a huge pecan tree that died and most of it is down, but it needs to go... plus some other smaller trees be cut down, and trimmed... then I have a piece of an old bus, that was here, when I bought the house, and it needs to be hauled away. It is old, an eye sore, and someone could probably take it with a trailer, and sell it for the scrap metal... so some things are more just time, others I need a bit of cash, and others are in need of assistance, and then of course the roof, that means about 5,000.00 or so....

So, my hopes are that I can stay well enough, to get at least "some" of these projects accomplished as far as the house, I can finish my book and get it published, can get a surgery out of the way I am in need of, and maybe two.... plus just find "myself" a new light, a new path, and follow my heart... go back to dancing, singing, listening to music, and doing what my "body" allows me to do....

My wishes are that YOU, shall also find your path, your light, and your "love" of what ever that may be, whether of the human heart, of a new job, a new place to live, or just doing some of the things in life we tend to put off.... and we never know if "tomorrow" nor the next breath will be here....

I am putting up some pics, and links of some of my "wishes", and my ow hopes for my life the comes with each step I make forward..... Honestly, I've spent way too many years putting everyone else "1st" in life.... and all of what I want, need, or wish always goes on the very back burner... and there shall be some that are not "happy" with this decision... but I am chronically ill, I have many health issues, and I stay in severe pain most days, and I feel like if I do not put my foot down, and begin taking care of ME... I will regret things later as I get older.....


I hope you find the courage to put "you" first... and put the things in life that are important to you, on the "front burner"....

Fed Panel Opposes CDC Opioid Guidelines — Pain News Network - I shall add more to this post.. but this is CRITICAL FOR ALL OF US TO STAND UP FOR OUR RIGHTS AS PAIN PATIENTS!

Fed Panel Opposes CDC Opioid Guidelines — Pain News Network

PLEASE READ THIS article, and be sure to also send it out on Social Media and everyone you can... we must fight this nonsense.... if we sit around and "allow" this mess, MANY of us will DIE from "intractable pain".... it can cause a heart attack, and all types of other "deadly" issues if someone must try and cope in severe, daily pain day after day with NO help from medications and so forth! This is INSANITY as it's most INSANE!!!!

Busy Time and Trying to Keep my Head on Straight, Keep the Brain Fog from setting in, getting closer to the pain pump reclacement surgery, the horrid, almost Unbearable Pain with my RA/Lupus, Holidays a NEW Fur-baby! and so much more....

New Direction for my Next Book below...

I have LOTS of things that are on a "deadline" in the next couple of days, but I wanted to share that a very dear long-time friend of mine and I were talking earlier this week, and we were talking about our lives, the younger years, and so forth. As I began to kind of "catch her up" on some things I really have never spoke about much, as far as how my "home life" was, I have an extremely controlling Dad, and I love him, and always will, and miss him even after 10 years since he passed away... but in many ways he, "stifled" me from "being ALL I wanted to BE"... his age, the times he was brought up in, his "views" on women, as far as college, careers... and as we talked, my friend said something that
inspired me about my 3rd book! 

I do NEED to tell my "story" about my life, even during my much younger years... especially as a teenager, and how much I was "kept" from doing all the things that the other kids in High School were doing.... he was more than overprotective"... and in many ways, it truly has "molded" my adult life at times... and it is a integral part of my life, and all that I've endured.... even the abuse later from an Ex-Husband (not my present one, Jim has never hurt me as far as abuse), but my daughters Father... anyway... all of that and more is a story that I should tell... for I am sure many others have dealt with the same things, yet they may not speak of it either... so I do have a NEW DIRECTION, AND A NEW VOICE, whispering me to make some additions, and/or changes where my 3rd book shall go... I think it will be something that many will want to read... Thank YOU, and you know who you are... I am so grateful that you have became once again a very dear friend.... whom I trust, and I admire...

The New Addition to our family - "my new fur-baby" Dennis!

 

 

Wanted to share a few pics of the new “fur-kid” addition Dennis, and Bub’s! I got Dennis yesterday evening, and brought him home for a “weekend trial”… but it appears they are already best friends… that is the most I’ve seen Bub’s play in a very long time! I think “if Mommy” me, can keep up with the both of them, I have my “Christmas puppy”….


Latest Addition of My Newspaper "All Things Autoimmune" - great article from pain, Lupus, and so much more!

https://paper.li/ravishingrhia/1438808814#!headlines 

 

 A latest Pic of Rhia!!!!

Much other things going on... but I must run out for a bit... PLEASE keep an eye out thought... I have an EXTREMELY important post for everyone that I will put up later today or tomorrow!

 

TODAY IS THE DAY! #GIVINGTUESDAY IS HERE.... HOW WILL YOU MAKE A DIFFERENCE? Your gift from the "heart" is the best "gift" YOU may receive of All!

The one day our entire "world" is in unity to "give" to those around us... whether you give of your time, monetary gifts, helping someone, giving blood, any and all kinds of ways to give of yourself, or of your time....

Here is some information about #GIVINGTUESDAY! And some ideas about the ways YOU can make a difference!

http://www.givingtuesday.org/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTKfz4Eo-oU&feature=youtu.be

 

http://www.arthritis.org/

 http://weblink.donorperfect.com/NMDR_Donations

‪#‎THXLeads2Giving‬

 

 

These are but a few ways YOU can give! Even if there is something not listed, or a special place you would like to support, do that... this is the one day to give as your heart tells you. I've found that giving of yourself can be the very best "gift" of all!