Hopping Over the Hurdles of a small town, with no shuttle to Dallas to get there for surgery more on the Horrors of Dementia & A Parent

This may sound like a ridiculous question to many people, but what do people do like myself, that live in a small town, and have no really "close" relatives, and need to be taken to somewhere like Dallas to have surgery, or a procedure done, yet they don't have a "spouse", or anyone they can call upon to do so? Sure, if I lived in Dallas, I could probably find some type of shuttle service, or at the very least take a Taxi, etc.... but unless I am just not informed, I gather there is no type of shuttle here in our community that does that type of thing? So, are there people out there that will do something such as that, drive a person for a day surgery, or for a test of some type, or to a doctors office, that for some reason they are not able to drive themselves? We must have someone around here that does that and charges a certain amount to take you and bring you back home. My son can't get off work, due to him having been off himself for an arm injury so he can't get off this next week on Wednesday, of course my daughter is 8 hours away, my Mom, well even if she was OKAY, Mom could not even drive me across town when I had double pneumonia a couple of years ago to Urgent Care...

I was "too sick" to drive alone, so she came over, and I had to drive us there, and then drive myself back home, and I have no other "relatives" or people that can do something such as that. I guess it would be something someone in our area should consider. Because there has to be more people than myself that wind up in this situation. And of course even if I "felt like" I could drive home, there is no way, no how my surgeon would ever, every agree to that, especially it being neck surgery, and I will have a cervical collar on... Any thoughts from any of you? I know there is "Uber" in the larger cities, but I am sure we don't have anyone here that would drive anyone from Ennis to Dallas and then back to Ennis.... I've just about taken all I can...

I've put this surgery off, and thus that means my lower surgery has been put off also, and now my fingers are numb all the time, I can barely turn my head, and my lower back and legs continue to hurt like hell... I guess I am going to have to go and have my pain pump medication increased, which I did not want to do.... and then like today, I go to the market for Mom, I take food over for her to choose what she can eat, well, she never said a word, just mumbled a couple of times, "nothing" I guess it what she said... so I put stuff up, cleaned out the fridge, took out the trash, put up the clothes in the dryer, happened to have ran into the gentleman that does my Mom's lawn work, and found out she did no pay him from last time, so I told him to go ahead and cut the yard again, and I had to pay him for that... then I had to fold laundry, get her medications together for the next week, pick up her scripts from the pharmacy, clean up what she had left out give her a new glass of something to drink, take her an Ensure that was cold, and by that time, I went in 3 or 4 times, and she never said a word...

I had asked like 3 or 4 times about eating... so when I finished, I gathered up my stuff, and just came home. I am totally exhausted, and I got to thinking, I am a main, a cook, a grocery shopper, a car detailer, a trash person, I do laundry, I "exterminate" for ants, I vacuum, dust, sweep, fix her meds, make sure she takes her meds ... and the list just goes on and on,.. a bill payer... an accountant... chief, cook and bottle washer... and you know what... I am totally exhausted.... so I am headed to the sofa to watch a movie, and then will get dinner ready here in a bit... I am just so disenchanted with it all... and I "watch" and see everyone else "living their lives"... and mine seems to "not be of my own"....


Alas, I am just going to have to postpone it again, and I know my Orthopedics Surgeon's office is going to throw a fit. I've had to postpone it twice myself already, and he postponed it once due to some thing that came up for him. So, they also at times suddenly postpone at the last minute. But, I am just going to have to let his assistant know that this time rather than trying to "reschedule" in a month or two weeks etc... to wait, and I will call them back to reschedule once I can "set in stone" find someone to take me to have the surgery and bring me back. I do not want to do this again. It is difficult on them, and it is difficult on me, to feel "rushed and in a panic trying to find someone"...I even looked up in our area some type of "shuttle" service that may take me up there. I know my neighbor across the street goes in a shuttle frequently, but she is on dialysis, and I think they may take her to Dallas, but just a certain area. 

The only one here I can find, just does a shuttle in our county, and if I lived up in DeSoto or in that area, then the Star Transit could take me, but that is about 20 miles away... Anyway, I am going to have to make some very difficult decisions this week about Mother anyway. I am sick this morning, and the weather here is horrible. We were supposed to be "sunny" and no chance of rain... LOL... what a joke, the thunder and lightening woke me up around 6AM, and it is raining, and we have an electrical storm over us still. It is just a terrible day out there right now... I had to get the trash out to the curb and I HATE LIGHTENING... it struck my car one year while we were driving in an unexpected storm on a major highway, and it hit the antenna of our car, knocked it off and it literally FLEW over an 18 wheel tractor trailer, and it "stopped" the brain of my car! We were in a brand new car with dealer plates still on it! 

But it "reset" itself after about 15 minutes or so on the side of the road, but that was one of those "spring storms" that came up so suddenly we did not even have time to find shelter... we were fortunate enough to get under on overpass and had a truck driver in front of us and in back of us... and a tornado literally passed within a quarter mile or less right in front of us over the highway!!!! Cars were stopped for miles on both sides of I-35! It was a total nightmare! So, I am not a "fan" of any type of electrical storm or hail. I've had a roof ruined by that, windows knocked out in fact I still have a window that desperately needs to be replaced because it is just barely holding in with cardboard and duct tape now! But, I need someone to help hold the pane in place so I can get the "pins" in it to hold the glass in so I can put the glazing around it.... so again, until I can find someone to help, I am "SOL" as the saying goes....

 I was so totally upset over this past weekend, between Mom and some of the crap she pulled and said to me, and between not having any way to get to have my surgery, and my neck is getting worse... yesterday my fingers went to "sleep" on both hands and were burning and stinging, then by the time I got through the market, and got what I needed and picked up Mom's stuff, hauled it in her house, put that away, folded clothes and done everything there, put all of her trash out etc... then came home and had to put all of my stuff up, my hips and legs hurt so badly I wanted to cry! Now this morning, I woke up with a sore throat, and my glands are swollen under my neck worse on the left side... so I hope I don't have another infection...

I went over there this morning. She was "up" standing in her living room. No cane, no walker, and no emergency cell phone on her... so if she fell, there would be no way for her to contact me or anyone. So, I asked her what she was doing... and she mumbled "straightening" things up... and I just commented, well Mom everything should be pretty well straight.Then I went through the "laundry" list of things I did. I asked her if she had eaten... her reply of course was "No"... I went to put up some drinks I had gotten her, and there were items again in the fridge that did not belong, and she was just "fiddling" around with things, not really doing anything. 

I went and got her medication, put it in a small little cup, laid it on the table, and mentioned she did not eat yesterday and she replied, NO one brought me anything!...Okay, there I had been there the day before, brought in all of the groceries, asked her numerous times to eat or what she wanted, and I either got no reply or just a "no"... so I explained that I did come, and she did not want to eat, and she said I don't recall anyone being here... and I could tell, she was in "one of those moods"... so I finished putting up the drinks, and told her, her medications were on the table... and I said I see you must have things under control, so I am going home... and she looked at me and said. YOU have NO HOME!!

 I TURNED and replied Well, I guess I do, and that is exactly where I am headed... call me if you need anything. So, I shut the door and left. I am not feeling well today, I woke up with swollen glands under my neck, and a sore throat and the weather is cool today, and I was not about to stand there and allow her to "belittle" all of what I've done, since she just cannot recall what those things are... I called off my surgery and will reschedule a bit later in a month or so, once some things are not so messed up... but for now, as I told my doctor's assistant, until I can get a firm "way" there and back to Dallas for the surgery, and get someone to watch after Mom or see where all of this goes in the coming weeks, I did not want to reschedule, and then find out something is amiss again... Anyway, I am headed for the sofa... I just don't feel very well, and I just need the rest. I sure as heck cannot afford to come down with a "flare" or some type of infection right now.



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