Monday, March 17, 2014

An Autoimmune Arthritic Systemic Life: More on the Continuing Saga of "Rhia's Law" If it ...

An Autoimmune Arthritic Systemic Life: More on the Continuing Saga of "Rhia's Law" If it Will Happen Then It Will Be Rhia...Honestly, when I go back and read some of the things that I've been through, put up with, did do, did not do... and all of the "happen to me... it seems impossible that ONE person could have gone through so much in just 8 years! Of course there were other things well before all of the autoimmune illnesses began, and I thought those were horrible. I had moved several times. From Lancaster CA (Whish I loved and still do), back to TX to have a knee surgery, then from Ennis to Austin TX, where I rehabbed the knee an was ready to take a job, then something happened and I came back to Ft. Worth TX. Well that is when 9/11 happened. So, I quickly got back to Ennis (as quickly as I could at that time), and within 6 weeks was headed for Seattle WA. That is where my entire life changed "for the good". I got somewhat "healthy" ... I had a job a loved!!! .. I was making decent money... had a "man" in my life that I was not really sure of, but I did make good friends with his family, and other people around so by the time he pulled a stunt, went to Florida to see another "friend" who turned out to be a woman he had bought a cell phone to talk to every night. He Thought I did NOT know, but I found all of the bag, box and everything in the trunk of the car when I went o get groceries ... PLUS I KNEW E woULD NECER go through the halls for hours normally each night. He done a quick run through usually that took about 25 minutes and he was back. When it started to be an hour, more than an hour, 2 hours, 3 hours and I confronted him with cell phone box and bag in hand... he admitted he was "planning" to go to FL to "see" his friend... Well hell I am NOT stupid! So, he went all right... but I TOOK MY MONEY out of the acct... and left him ONLY WHAT WAS HIS... (He had already taken some out so he was screwed when he got there, and she really was WEIRD. and kind of not interested in him.... anyway... I thought after having to be "on the run" from a "husband" at that time I was trying to "divorce". The ONLY way I could keep him from abusing me physically, mentally and emotionally, was to GET out of TX! He still FOUND ME twice or three times! Each time I thought I was "safe", someone would tell him, and the next thing I know he is around "haunting" me again. Even after I had been in Seattle for over 4 years, divorced him, he got hold of my phone number and began calling and threatening myself and my "finance" then, Jim. Even when we came back to Texas for my daughters' wedding (his daughter) he had told everyone he would "take care" of both of us while we were there. Finally, some of my daughter's new husbands' "buddies" removed him from the premises and told him to stay the hell away. He had almost killed me several times in the past. I put up and "hid" the abuse for many years. I was scared he would hurt me worse, or the kids, or do something terrible. So, I kept my mouth shut to everyone. No body, but my kids knew it, and I would not allow them to tell anyone. I kept them away at the worst times with their friends. Little did I know he was not only "addicted" to Meth.... I knew he was an alcoholic.... but he had "meth" hidden under our shed in my back yard... lots of it there at the last I was told... I did not find out about the drug abuse until just a few months before I moved back to TX, in 2005! Dad had passed away, and even though I never wanted to leave Seattle I had to come back to help my Mom. By this time the "ex", had not only been "caught" and arrested, but was in jail for a LONG time! So, when we first got here, there was about a year or more we never had to be concerned about him. But, I STILL to this DAY have "night terrors" that I wake up screaming, scared to death he is hurting me and JIM, or hurting me somewhere in town.... I carry mace with me everywhere I go. And I still find myself looking over my shoulders, for him even though I have been away from him since 2001, he still "haunts me"....

But, ALL of that, as HORRIBLE and as bad as it was.... and it was bad... still does NOT compare with what these immune illnesses have done to me.... they have also turned my life inside out, they have caused me to be unable to do SO MANY things, I've so wanted to do... EVEN just EVERYDAY. ordinary things... I am always either dealing with a flare, or a surgery, or getting over an infection, or my mouth full of ulcers and knots, or my throat so sore I cannot stand to drink anything. We make plans and I get ill so we have to cancel them. I am supposed to be taking care of my Mom. And I feel as If sometimes "She" is having to "take care" of me!!! NOW these teeth.... and my vision again being so bad!!! Yet, if I go to the physicians most of them are no further along, so their answers are it is the Lupus, RA, Sjogren's, Raynaud's the medications, like the prednisone, which my own PCP calls it a "necessary evil"... if I have a flare, it is the only thing to help get it kind of under control... THEN when my Rheumatologist FINALLY gets hold of the ONE medication a biologic, that finally "HELPS' with the morning stiffness, the pain in my legs and feet, the stiff and swollen fingers and thumbs, my wrists swollen and joints, the INSURANCE gives me A MAJOR SCREW UP, SO I GO 7 WEEKS WITHOUT MY MEDICATION! Which sent me into 2 MAJOR flares! Along with something that was a bacterial lung infection, which I though I was over, the flares came on, they gave me more antibiotics that caused me to have certain type of "colitis" caused by certain antibiotics, thus it was a nightmare because then my husband gets ill, and it seems we may have also contracted a stomach virus, but we could not find out because it took them A WEEK to get back lab work, rather than go ahead and treat me. Well, they finally "looked" at my lab work and said "nothing was wrong". THIS WAS ON A FRIDAY WHEN I CALLED THEM myself. So, the "FOLLOWING" TUESDAY I get a Call from the same doctors office, and the nurse says " the PA looked at your labs and you DO have a "BACTERIAL YEAST INFECTION IN YOUR COLON" AND they have "called in" medication for it!!!! There is MORE to the story about them, but you can be assured that I am Looking for another PCP!!!

Then of course is the entire matter of my teeth...

All of this is EFFECTING MY invitation to go to Washington DC for the Arthritis Foundation after I was invited to go. Now as I get ready, I am ill again, so I am not sure I will get to go Monday Morning!!!! I am totally devastated over the entire thing... and these are just "pieces" of what is happening... the "book" if I ever get to where I can write it will Tell ALL OF IT for sure!

Thank Goodness I have people praying for me all over the world! Wishing me positive thoughts That I will be "well enough" to go!!!!

What can I Say.. but I am so appreciative of those that are standing beside me holding my hand!!!!


No comments: