Showing posts with label Coping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Coping. Show all posts

Sunday, April 19, 2015

Stress Awareness Month - WEGO Health #HAWMC Writer's Challenge April 19th 2015

Definitely a great question for ALL of us that have to contend with a stressed filled, everywhere you look and feel world! Daily stress producing items are all around us. Whether you are "chronically ill or in chronic pain" or not, the news and medical world tells us that our daily stress levels are off the charts. This also means that stress effects us in so many different ways, especially when it comes to your physical and mental health.

Then you take all of that into consideration, jobs, families, travel, homes, cars, kids, and just what we see in the news daily, is enough to cause us an insurmountable bunch of stress. We have known for years that stress contributes to heart problems, it definitely effects our immune systems, allowing things that normally not make us ill, to sometimes makes us more ill than we think.

Now let's add in doctors visits, 15 or more medications a day, feeling overwhelmed already, yet due to chronic illness and the pain that comes along with it, the stress levels can be way over the top of the glass, and pouring down all around us in a puddle. Just having to deal with a drive to a doctor in Dallas, maybe two in a weeks time. Making sure all of my medications are filled properly, and with me so I don't miss any. Not feeling well some days, either with some type of "flare"; whether Rheumatoid Arthritis, Lupus, Sjogren's, and the list continues. Add those onto trying to keep a job, do errands, take care of a home, a yard, a car, buy groceries and prepare meals, do laundry, and all of the 1001 things that can pop up at any moment, to distract us from what else we are doing. Then our bodies all too often "revolt". So, now I am dealing with a huge amount of fatigue, severe headaches, my hips and lower back hurting, perhaps like last week for me, having the procedure done on Thursday - even though a "good procedure" to hopefully help reduce the horrid pain in my lower back, hips and legs, was still "stress". So I get up on Friday, with bright pink cheeks, feeling like a train had run over me, seeing everything piling up I need to do, and guess what, here is a flare. I would "assume" a Lupus flare, due to the pink hot cheeks and nose. That all too familiar "Lupus "The Wolf" Mask" we get when one of those comes on

So, I've spent over a week at doctors offices, having that procedure done, then coming home to know I am behind on everything. Now I feel lousy, the weather brings on a new set of stress on it own, and I now have a very low potassium situation they discovered last week when I had the Transforminal Epidural Steroid Injection done in my lumbar spine. My potassium was at an "dangerous" low. Most of the time at what mine was, and they even checked it twice, I probably should be getting IV Potassium to try and get it back up a bit, then follow up with pills. But, I didn't hear from my PCP even after calling at 9:00 A< Friday. So, I followed up with my Cardiologist, who immediately called in a script, told me to take two of them for two days, then one a day, and come in on next Friday so they can check the levels again.

Now, after all that being said, "How do I, did I, deal with all of the stress"? My first way to "deal" with stress is "listing" and writing down, what is "MOST" important to get done quickly, and what may be able to wait a day or two? That helps me a great deal, to literally "write down" a list, and prioritize things. Then I take stock in how I feel mentally and physically. If I am feeling very lousy, then I know I need to do absolutely what has to be done, and save others for later, when I feel better.

From there, I allow "time for me". Even though my to do list might be long, I still need to be able to either go outside, and do my walking. I enjoy baking. So, for me going into the kitchen and making a pie, cake, cookies, or whatever I feel like I might enjoy baking, I do that. There are days, that I may have to do one or two things, then sit down at the computer and write, or take an hour to watch a movie with my two pups. I also very often find if I go over to my Mom's, and just spend some times away, where I can talk, and "gripe" if I want to, Being able to express my stress is critical. If I can't write it down, or say it, or find some type of avenue to be able to "purge" some of the bad stress, then I really find myself unable to get much of anything done. I am too wrapped up in what I CAN'T, thus what I can does not come to me, when I don't just take that walk, talk to my Mom, write on my book, or post on my blog. Summer as I had mentioned in another blog post earlier in the week, tends to help. I can open up my home, and let the fresh air in, get some light streaming in, and I have a "renewed" feeling, that tends to be a great deal stress free.

Being ill with so many of these diseases, syndromes, and such do add a HUGE amount of stress in my life, but my husband, Mom, and others can "feel" that tension in the air. So, between all of us we try to keep me in check with stress. It may mean a day trip to Oklahoma and the Casino. Which in saying that, we are LONG overdue to go. It has been several months, possibly about 4 or more months since Mom and I made that 2 hour journey into "freedom" for a few hours at least.

Just a day trip away from it all, is an incredible way for me to get back to the matters at hand daily, and lead my body and brain into a new perspective.

Writing has always, and will always be one of my biggest ways, that I can "purge" out the stress, remain half sane hopefully, and try to carry on up that "mountain" always reaching out to attain a goal.




Thursday, April 9, 2015

A "Daunting Challenge in Life" WEGO Health Writers Challenge April 9th, 2015

I could start off with a couple of periods in my life, that offered up a "challenge" or actually more than one, that truly put me into the realms of being not so sure I could "last" through that time.

I had a couple of those types of circumstances at 25 years old, and having to have my face "fixed" mainly my upper lip from a 4 wheeler accident that honestly I am here today wondering why I even made it? Another story for another time.

Also, at about 40 years old, suffering through a heart attack, by myself during the very beginnings of it, as I was also going through a horribly abusive relationship, him leaving completely, and the decisions that I had to make in order to basically "stay alive". Again, another story for another time.

There was the time at 50, I spent well over 6 weeks in two hospitals, and to this day, I don't think even my doctors knew exactly why I got so ill, in such a very short amount of time, and went through at least 4 surgeries, and was told to "call my family" on one of them, because they were not sure what the outcome would be. Once more for another time.

Then, there is what happened a year ago March 26, 2014. I had been in Washington DC, with the Arthritis Foundation, and their annual "Summit on Capitol Hill" for 3 days. I had found out very close to the date it was actually going to happen, and sent in an application for a "travel grant". I figured for one, I was too late to even get anywhere as far as a travel grant, plus at the time my health had been waxing and waning with Lupus and several severe flares I had been having at that time.

Yet, as "fate" would have it, I DID get the TRAVEL GRANT, and I was accepted to actually to go Capitol Hill, face the very Congress I had always wanted to face, and tell my own story, along with the story of others. I felt if I could do that, I could make a huge difference in how the nation, the world, and those in Congress "viewed" Autoimmune and Arthritic Diseases. Thus, it was a dream come true and I was in shock for a day or so, in disbelief I got the award to go.

Yet, I did. And even up until the very wee hours of Monday morning, April 24th, 2014, I was not sure I was truly well enough to go. But, a very good physician at one of our local Urgent Care Centers, happened to have Lupus himself. So, he gave me the medications I needed, along with an injection of corticosteroids, and I was up on my feet and able to make that flight. I was elated.

My spouses Step Mom lives very near DC, and since I had never met her, plus my husband had not seen in her over 10 years, he was going to fly out on that Wednesday the 26th of March, to meet me. We were to visit and also have a vacation until the Following Sunday, before flying home. It was kind of a trip of a lifetime for both of us. I definitely loved what I saw on Capitol Hill, and had felt like the trip had really given me more hope, that what I was doing as an Ambassador, activist, and advocacy voice, truly would make a difference.

On that Wednesday, my husband was to drive to Dallas, to the DFW Airport. It was about a 65 to 70 mile drive, before flying out. I had been finished with my own items to do with the Summit around noon that day, so his Mom was to come by the Hotel and pick me up. He was to get into DC around 7PM or so.

Just about the time it was close to time for me to be picked up by my Mother in Law, my cell phone began to ring, ring, ring, and ring. I had been outside of the Hotel, it was very noisy, so I really had not heard the phone ringing, until I walked back in. After seeing the number of calls from my daughter, I rang her back right away. Her voice sounded terrified, and as she said, Mom, Jim's (my husband) been in a very severe car accident in Dallas. He is in the ER at Baylor Hospital in Dallas, and the doctors need to talk to you ASAP! I almost lost it then, but I held myself together long enough to make that phone call. As I listened to the "voice" of the doctor over the phone reading out this "LIST" of things wrong with Jim, I just sunk to the floor and was sobbing uncontrollably. So, one of the kindest men I've ever known, had been in our group during the Summit, heard me. He came over and asked about what was happening, and I asked him to please take the phone and write down what the doctor was telling him. Most ribs broken, a very severe back injury from possibly C-7 through T-7, broken shoulder, concussion, a broken leg, a whiplash, a "nick" in the Aorta, and the list continued to seem endless.

About that time, my Mother In Law, came up to tap me on the shoulder. She of course didn't know any of this at the moment, so she thought I was crying because I was happy she was there to pick me up. I had to look this woman, my Mother In Law, that I had never met until that moment, in the eyes and tell her, that her son, was in critical care, headed to ICU in Dallas due to an 18 wheel tractor trailer "running over him" in Dallas. By this time, the woman who I just owe everything to from the AF had already spoken with Chris (the man helping me on the phone with the doctor), and they had made flight arrangements to send me to Dallas within a couple of hours. I am still in such awe and have so much gratitude for them, and her. I still feel I owe them so very much, for their kindness and generosity at that moment.

Basically, when I look back on it, the next 72 hours, I believe I ran off of shock, horror, dismay, and honestly I think I had truly become "dis-associative" in order to be able to "deal" with everything that needed to be done so quickly.

Needless to say, that date was just a year ago, this past March 26th. For almost this entire year, between my own ordeal with totally losing my own teeth to Sjogren's, Jim's long and laborious recovery, the doctors, bills, medications, therapy, the 3 months he spent in the hospital... all of the integral parts of him being partially parapalegic. He had been MY CARETAKER, before the accident. NOW, and probably possibly forever, I've had to become a caretaker for him, myself and honestly often my Mom, who will be 80 years old this August.

I've had many, many people ask me how I have been able to "cope". Truthfully, I am not even sure if I have. There are days, moments, weeks, that I feel so totally trapped, others I feel we will conquer, and times I am so ill myself, like I was last year right after his accident, I came down with double pneumonia. I had to do everything in my power NOT to have to go to the hospital. The doctor really wanted me to. Yet, I just felt if I could get well at home myself, then I could get things accomplished, that I would not be able to in the hospital.

Day to day, moment to moment, hours, weeks, months and now a year later, I'm not really sure if I am "sane", or if I've become insane. I've tried to take each step in stride, hoping for a better tomorrow, week, month, and years.

Yet, I am not sure exactly what to tell anyone in this situation other than, believe in yourself, try to take care of your own health as much as possible, accept others help when they offer it, or ask if you have someone that could help with some things. Try to stand tall, know that each moment, each step forward is one more to whatever a new "normal" will be. Also, keep hope and faith, along with asking others for prayers too, can be a huge help to be able to accept what has happened. You must finally in one way or the other truly "deal" with the issue, and then you can work on all of the other stuff.

Plus just that. Come to your own place that you must, you have to accept, "normal" as you knew it will never be again. You must find a "new normal"... and sometimes possibly several of "new normals" through out the process....

Rhia Steele April 9th 2015