Showing posts with label Coping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Coping. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Day 9 - "Happy Hump Day" WEGO Health Blog Challenge - "What would be my "perfect" Day"?

First answer, going to the Casino... to stay overnight and get away from ALL of the illness, medications, cleaning, stress, loss of my Mom, and the grief from dealing with all that comes along with having to take care of everything after losing a parent or loved one. Being the "caretaker" before, while and after they are ill, and then pass away.

OF course that is a "1st" answer and it is extremely true, when it comes to wishing for the "perfect day" for myself right now. When "you" are chronically ill, chronically in pain, and most days you never know if you shall wake up feeling "good", "bad", horrible, or even on those rare occasions "WONDERFUL"; you hope for more of those wonderful days.

That does not mean ones that give me the time to go to the Casino for an overnight stay necessarily, but those or at least one or two, that give me the ability to get up, with pain and illness that is as less as possible. A day that the sun is shining, the weather is not to warm or not too cool, that day I can clean my home, go run errands, go to the market, maybe make a great meal, even in the slow cooker, play with my pups, have time to go outside, trim a few limbs from my trees, tend to my yard a bit, and even at the end of that day, not feel as if a "tractor trailer" had ran over me.

Yet, for many of us, we realize that "good" day, that leads us to be able to do those small or large things we want to do, shall probably lead to the next few days of being in pain, not feeling well, and having to "recover" from that one or two days we felt well enough to go out and feel "normal" for a bit of time.

For me, that is a perfect day. Those that come, where I get up, not as in much pain, not so fatigued, and I do feel like taking a shower, dressing up, putting on my makeup, fixing my hair, and going out to do errands, shop, wash my car, and not look "sick". It seems those days are rare. Oh, the shower, and running errands I do, but to really "feel" like dressing up, putting on makeup, getting my hair looking really nice, and then putting that "smile" on, and not looking worn out are the ones that are so far and few between.

At times, I feel that is why maybe I find myself slipping back or shying away from taking that overnight trip away. I may feel wonderful while I am out and about, wherever, Casino, shopping, yard work or whatever, because I realize that more times than not, I will "pay" for that 1 or 2 great days.

A day, two, three, a week, weeks, months.... most of us would give a great deal that we had, if not everything we had just to have a "normal' day, week, month, or year. Without being ill, without needing surgery, without needing many medications, without pain, and time we can spend with family, friends, on a job, in our home, just to "feel well" for a brief and wishfully a "lifetime" of not being chronically ill, or in chronic pain. 

Alas, since yesterday was an "election day" of a "first" ever for this nation or the world for that matter, "FREEDOM" is what I and ALL that are ill wished for a day, that is perfect 'FREEDOM FROM THE GRIEF OF CHRONICALLY BEING ILL AND IN PAIN".

Thursday, September 22, 2016

From Running, to walking, to running, and trying to get my body to keep up and the Lupus and RA to "behave" - Remodeling, Houses, Contractors, and Coping

Well I did have one contractor come over yesterday afternoon, and I got tickled - he was impressed how much work I have already done! I told him I would continue to do what I can, what my body and hands allow me to, and that way when they get where they can come, they can do the larger things like the railings, and the fence... and later side that garage and put a new door on it. I am in a mood I guess I cannot describe.... I have not really been here very much, it seems all I do is run, run and run... I had to take a huge amount of shred stuff to Waxahachie yesterday, so I drove the Elantra to get those miles on it so the computer will register correctly for the inspection. Then I went into Lowe's, bought a couple of "toggle" switches, I really want to use those in that house also... and then some plates for the outlets, again several need the updated outlets in them... I looked at flooring, the laid linoleum... even though I would love to do something else, with the pups, I think I am going to have to stay with that, and actually the one I like is a "standard" at Lowe's... plus they would even lay it very reasonably, if so happen something went awry and my contractor could not do it... I FOUND MY GLITTER FOR THE PAINT! I knew they would have it! I had to search and search, then finally asked two people and one lady knew exactly where it was (which was in a very stupid spot if anyone wanted to find it).... I priced fencing, and I did 5 5 pieces of chair railing... that should be enough to finish the living room! So, a few touch ups with the paint, and putting those up.... I have a new door knob for the front closet... that stupid thing broke about a month ago, and there was no way to get into the front closet, I beat on it, I pried on it, I even took the pins out of the door, and I thought I would never get it open... so finally when the plumbers came, they thought they may need to get in there, and they were able (with a great deal of elbow grease) to get it open finally... of course between myself and them we destroyed that door knob... NEVER in my life, have I seen an "inside knob" that damned sturdy.... I never thought I would get it out... so I bought one with the plates and a glass knob on it... I wanted to do that in this house to all of the closets and never got around to it... and on Amazon I can get the whole thing for about 14.00 including the back plate... so I am going to put that up after I get that closet painted... those closets have NOT been painted since we moved in which was about 1964 or so! Dad painted and did everything else, BUT not the closets, they are horrible! So, paint that is left over, that is okay colors I am going to use in the closets.... anyway, I still have lots to go... I am having him build me, kind of like a cedar platform off the front porch, so it will be large enough to hold my inside plants when I put them out during the spring and summer months.... the porch... OMG those rails were so rotten... I took all of them down myself earlier this week. I only like one post, that the concrete bolts had paint on them so I had to WD 40 them and now I can get those loose also.... I hope between me working until the other guy can come, I will have him paint the ceilings also... no way I can do that... and finish up the stuff I cannot do... I will be moving in by the end of October, first of November... I hope... depends on my own health, the weather, how quickly he can come and get on it... like I told him the garage siding can wait for a bit... mainly the fence, finishing up the painting inside, and I've found a kit I maybe able to help the inside of that damned old tub look better... I am going to order one and try it... it is hideous, but having someone come and redo the porcelain on it would be thousands of dollars... I still want to break that sucker into pieces, get rid of it and put a walk in shower in there... but I know the work trying to take a sledge hammer or a saw to that tub and cut it out of there, it takes lots of work...... Anyway, again I am in a "funky" frame of mind right now... I thought moving over there would be what I wanted, especially after the remodel, now I wonder if that is a good decision, but I cannot do the work this house needs... I cannot roof it, and could paint it outside, but only so much, and it just needs someone who can do the things it needs themselves... a time ago, I could have done it all but the roof! LOL! but that was when I was in my 20's and 30's..... I have painted an entire house outside more than once for sure.... but at my age and with my health issues, my body is already mad at me... my right hand keeps swelling up, and my right ankle is still not all the way well.. and my neck NEEDS SURGERY! I was so hoping to get that done before the end of the year... once again I face whether to keep my insurance or go back to another, and that is coming up soon...more stuff that needs to be done!  Rhia

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Donating Your Organs for Research, Burial or Cremation, Chronic Illness, how life has so many turns, & trying to cope with Lupus, RA, Chronic Illnesses, and living..,

I've had something on my mind, especially after going through what I watched my Mom go through, along with knowing my own health issues, my Grandparents health problems, and family backgrounds. Since I am already an "avid" advocate as far as Lupus, RA, and other Autoimmune Illnesses, as well as Arthritis and now Dementia's.... I've had something on my mind. For some, this may "gross" you out, but for me (and this is after a bit of thought), I feel like when my "time comes" I maybe able to make one more extremely beneficial act, that could help others in the future, even my own family down the line someday. I've been giving serious thought to "donating my tissue and/or organs" for research. Knowing the chronic diseases that I have, and that effect my own family, and seeing that "dementia's" tend to also run in my family, especially my Mom's side, I feel like that is a way, that I maybe able to help stop, find a cure, or give hope to the millions of others out there that suffer from these horrendous illnesses. This is a subject, that I am sure many people don't want to think about... but once you have had someone so close to you and you watch them go through some of these horrid illnesses, you have a deeper sense that you "need to do something" for your kids, Grandkids, and so forth on down the line, along with so many others that need to also find a reason why many of us suffer from them, along with how to "stop" these before they even happen, or "cure" them, put them into remission, or find some way to change what so far we still are fighting with. I also think after seeing the expense of a funeral, and fortunately my parents already had their things in order for that part of it, but the expense of a burial plot, and then the casket and so forth, I can see me doing a cremation, rather than going through the motions and expense of the things that go along with being buried. Now, I am NOT trying to gross anyone out, nor am I (hopefully) upsetting my own family with these thoughts... for they are just that.... 

things I've had time now to think about, and do some research on... and if I could help to make this world a better place in some way, then I feel I should do, just that. I also see that there is such a "guilt" at times, and a burden, even with funeral arrangements... I know that many go through thinking, well I cannot be "cheap" and not have a beautiful casket, or a huge amount of flowers, or have a very nice memorial service... yet when it comes down to it, the person, such as anyone close to you, does not care, more than likely if they are in a "pine" box, like used to be, or in a 10,000 casket, that is going to be in the ground, and certainly of no benefit to that body, for your soul is long gone, nor does it help the ones you leave behind. 

To me, leaving a "legacy" of being a decent, caring human being, that tried their best to love their family, take care of them, and know in your heart, you did everything you could to do the "right" thing, is much more important than a 750.00 flower casket arrangement, that shall wither and be gone within days. Anyway, I've not been here "online" much. And I will be in and out for awhile as their are things to be done... and things for me such as even my neck surgery, that I've put off now almost a year, that I do need to do... so as I make a list of the crucial issues, and line up what is important, and what is not so important, I will be here, some, and then be out and about getting other things done also. I have to get my eyes checked. 

My up close vision has gotten worse, plus I've not had that test due to me being on Plaquenil now in over 2 years, and I should be doing that yearly. So, that is one of the things that I need to do hopefully this week, and then of course the paperwork thing is almost a "hurry up" and then a waiting game. There honestly is no real "hurry" in any of it, other than how quickly myself and my kids want to work on it. Anyway, I may be away for again most of the week. I've got LOTS of painting to do, and getting those hardwood floors done... not sure yet exactly what I am going to do... I don't think completely redoing them is necessary... I think if I can get them cleaned properly, then apply the proper wax, and buff them, I maybe able to get by with that rather than go through the entire ordeal of "sanding, etc... on them..." 

but one day and one step at a time... with the weather in the process of getting HOT, lots of things will have to be done "around the heat"... thank goodness a good portion of things are on the inside, rather than the outside for now.... keep my family in your continued thoughts and prayers... we are all just in still kind of a shock, and somewhat of indecision on some things... yet it seems all of us tend to be on the same page... so that is a good thing... Rhia

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

When you are backed against a Wall - Where do you Turn? Right now I feel "Green" because of these HOLES in both thighs... sick and tired of being sick and tired.. Music, Brooks and Dunn & More...

I almost had to laugh - I come here every day just about and see the same "line" - "What do you want to talk about or what is on your mind today?" What mind? I lost that years ago..... and I am saying "How Long Gone Are You Gonna Be?" - that is my mind... and I won't be as explicit as I feel as this moment, but others have "heard" me say "bat #$@! crazy!" yes, that explains me.... to a tee... speaking of a "tee" - hell I even lost the one person that wanted to teach me to "play golf"... not that I was all that excited, but back then I was excited any time I was asked to do anything... I know some a probably wondering why all of the "lyrics"? - Guess what??? I am ONE Helluva MUSIC Lover! - You name it, from scootin' a boot, to Rap, to Blues, to the 70's, 80's, and "Classic Rock" - as long as it is not some Mozart or such, I have always loved music... most of my life, if I was not on a dance floor, then I was home dancing, as I cleaned house, or did my college work, or bought groceries, and you can take the "girl" out of the country, but you never can take the "Country" out of the girl - Ah, yes Brooks and Dunn... LOTS of reasons for them.... LOTS of awesome memories, plus they are, were and will be always the best, well there is George Strait, Kenney Chesney, & the entire entourage' of great Country musicians.... okay, well honestly, I feel like HELL, and I mean that in every way I could possibly mean, I feel like I want to throw up, die, faint, walk out the door, and never return, ah, but, try to walk even out the front door with TWO HUGE FREAKING INCISIONS in each thigh!!!! After the "lidocaine" wore off last night, not even morphine does much good.... and of course no pain pump, thus that makes it even worse..... right now, I cannot see "past" the tears, the heart break, the "lost opportunities", the times I should have LISTENED to my heart, rather than my "head" or Dad, whichever one came usually first... I have missed OUT on a great deal of "life" - and now as physically messed up as I am, some of those opportunities are never to be... shall I dance again? Well, if I can get my thighs well, yes... will I play the drums again, or the key board... I can... and probably some where down the line I will... right now NOTHING and I mean NOTHING seems "possible"... yes I did say that correctly, I feel as if every "possibility" is "Way Gone"... so, NEVER take a moment of life for granted, NEVER think next week or tomorrow.... never set in a mediocre spot in life, putting off what you SHOULD do... because within a breaths space, it can be "Way Gone"...... Here you go - You want something to truly put things in perspective:

Brooks and Dunn

"When Love Dies"
Love conquers all and someday it'll conquer you
There's nothing finer than falling all in it
When love is true
But once it goes out and breaks your heart
It still ain't history
When love dies it don't rest in peace
You can lock your doors and windows
To keep the pain at bay
Yesterday may be dead and gone
But the past wont go away
Its waiting right around every corner
With a heartache you don't need
When love dies it don't rest in peace
Oh when love dies
You cant bury those memories
Oh when love dies
It disappears but it never leaves
When love dies it don't rest in peace
How does love die then come back
A ghost rattling chains
It keeps on haunting my broken heart
Driving me insane
I hear it whisper my name in the night
Just like it still lives and breathes
When love dies it don't rest in peace
Oh when love dies
You cant bury those memories
Oh when love dies
It disappears but it never leaves
When love dies it don't rest in peace
Brooks and Dunn -

One more - my all time favorite one of their very first huge hits - then I have to muster enough moments on this computer to pay bills - and if I can get that done, then I am headed BACK to the sofa, to "Wish Upon A Star" -
"That Ain't No Way To Go"
Lipstick letters across the mirror this morning
Said, "Goodbye, baby." You left with no warning
Like a thief in the night, you ran away with my heart
I can't believe my eyes, must be a bad dream
You always said we had a good thing
You never once let on we were falling apart

That ain't no way to go. Girl, it just ain't right
Don't you think that I deserve to hear you say goodbye
That ain't no way to go. Was it all a lie
After all this time, that ain't no way to go
Getting nowhere, I'm tired of thinking
Guess I'll do a little wishful dreaming
And make a whiskey wish upon a star
Train whistle blowing down the tracks
Lonesome sound says she ain't coming back
It's such a cold blow from out of the dark
That ain't no way to go. Girl, it just ain't right
Don't you think that I deserve to hear you say goodbye
That ain't no way to go. Was it all a lie
After all this time, that ain't no way to go
Brooks and Dunn....

Monday, October 19, 2015

Life Ongoing and Fleeting, Memories of a Time that seems like a blink of an Eye ago, dealing with AI's, Lupus, RA, Friends or lack of them, & All we are thrown daily to contend with....

WOW! I bet a few of you are saying! It has been a long while since I posted so early. I used to be up by 5AM, and that all changed several months back. I began to stay up much later than I did, thus I find myself not getting up before the dawn appears. I am honestly not looking forward to cold weather. It at one time was almost my favorite time of year, especially around the 2-3 weeks of February. Not due to my birthday BUT that is when we always planned and went on our annual snow skiing trip... it happened to fall right around my birthday, and WOW, I planned for that all year long... before we even finished getting home good from one trip, I was already setting up a "Christmas fund" at the bank where I used to work, and that money was always for the trip & Christmas also. I watched the weather all the way up to that last moment, just thrilled to be going back to Wolf Creek Pass, and Pagosa Springs CO... and also Santa Fe NM... Some of my most incredible memories are wrapped around that time in my life and I would give anything to be able to go again... I am not so sure about the skiing anymore even though I would love to try once more... but that was long before knee replacements shoulder replacements, cervical neck surgery and autoimmune illnesses.... so it would also mean in order to snow ski, back to walking that 5 miles a day I did for the entire year before we went.... and even at that, it still wore me out to ski especially if we skied 4 days rather than 3... I did have several video's of us, we took a camera and taped us a couple of years, and right now I am not even sure where those are... since then with all of the moving etc... they have been placed gosh knows where, but I still can replay each moment in my mind... my favorite part which was like a half open pipe, the sides way high up so when I skied, I went up one side, down into the "pipe" and back up the other... everyone knew if I was difficult to find that was where I would be LOL....then there was the time, and I had a pair of NEON GREEN snow pants/snow suit - and it was a pretty sunny day and I had been headed through some trees, and as I made one last little jump, one of my skies decided to stay behind, so here I was sliding through the trees on my stomach flat and just laughing... some guy and his wife were behind me and saw it, and he yelled at me "Looks good from behind here"! OMG - His wife hit him.... LOL! another one of those "moments" that get etched in our minds, and something that I will never forget... like the outdoor hot tub and it snowing on you when your were in it, and the indoor pool we ran and got in as soon as we got out of the hot tub... and the place we ate breakfast each morning, where the Elk came came a hill on the other side of the road and we watched them each morning, or the Mexican Food place we ate at when we got back from skiing - and they would fix me a "hot toddy" because I would always come in with a sore throat... LOL!!!! and how Pagosa Spings (which was like "Hot Springs Arkansas) due to the hot springs there the entire town smelled like rotten eggs.... LOL... you just got used to it after a day or so... and it did not matter because.... I WAS SNOW SKIING! I could sit here and almost write a novelette about my experiences going skiing for many years there during my 30's I believe.... and why that came to mind this morning, I am not sure, maybe the Winter/Fall chill in the air, or the fact, that rather than think about ALL I need to get done, I would much rather think of just how incredible those years were for myself, friends and my kids even went a couple of times... that was when Amanda my daughter was probably about 8 or so and the first time I sent her for "lessons"... she came walking down the hill with one ski in her hand... and I thought she was hurt... no, but the tree she ran into was bruised and her ski broken! LOL! She decided she did not need lessons, so off she went on the "bunny slope" herself, ran into a tree and busted the boot off of her ski first rattle out of the box! Thank goodness they were rented and insured so we got a new one right away! :) Those years have come and gone, but the memories made will remain brightly lit in my mind forever.... (or I hope they will).... Lately, life has been nothing more than one big ball of knotted, tied up, strung out, a mess of a ball of thread... it seems everywhere I turn there is something I need to do, somewhere I need to be, or an errand to run, medication to pick up, and now I have to all a plumber today... I thought I had remedied my problem but I have not, thus now I plumber has to be called and I don't look forward to that... it does not take long for a bill to get large when you have to call in a professional... in all of my undertakings, as FINALLY I FIXED A LAMP that my Mom had and it quit working. It is a pretty lamp, nothing wrong but I knew the "socket" had gone bad in it... well I bought the kit, with even a new cord in it, just so I would make sure ALL was new... it took me about 5 days in all to figure it out, and even though it was not difficult, in my head I had a portion that I was seeing to be more difficult than it was... so on Friday, it dawned on me what I was doing wrong, and sure enough, I got it all together and working! So, my DIY skills can work still, sometimes it just takes longer than it used to... same way with anything now days... I find myself yesterday in need of needing to sweep well (Swiffer), then "Wet Swiffer" my hardwood floors and mop my kitchen... and then I needed to vacuum, dust, etc... BUT, it took me so long to just get the hardwood floors done, in between all of the other "little" things I had to do, that by the time I was ready to vacuum, it was already after 4PM, I had told Mom I would drop by an lite her heater again, so I had to stop, decide to vacuum "tomorrow" so today, and then I wondered why it took me so long to do those floors??? I used to have been able to clean the bathroom, do all of that vacuuming, dusting, mopping the hardwood flooring, and so on, and still have plenty of time... but not anymore... for one, my energy is not what it used to be... I am much slower about things now... I had not been to church in 2 Sundays to do being sick, so I wanted to make sure I went yesterday. So, even though I knew I would come home to "chores" I got dressed and went to church first...yet by the time I ran home, changed clothes, went and picked up a couple of things from 2 stores, got home, and done that cleaning, it was already 4PM! By the time I got over to Mom's, lit her heater, visited for a bit, and got home it was already almost 5:30 and I had no clue what I wanted to have for dinner... and Bub's was looking at me like, "Hey, you have to feed us!" LOL!!! I almost settled for PBJ Sandwich, but I had some leftovers I managed to warm up and add a bit to, so he and I had a good dinner.... I guess he did he was not really even wanting dessert later in the evening when we watched a movie! Now, once again it is Monday - another ONE OF THOSE! I am sure that sounds silly for someone who is disabled, and does not have to "leave home" for work any more... but you know, I still have as much if NOT MORE to do now, and a lot less energy to deal with it all... so "Monday" is also one of those "Mondays" for myself also... it is trash day, and the beginning of usually errands, doctors, meds, running, phone calls and "stuff" to take care of... and that is exactly right... I have a list on a smaller yellow pad BUT it is 2 PAGES long! So, just because I am no longer "employed" outside of the house, I still have a ton of stuff to take care of... I need to have some of my meds refilled, and call to schedule an appt for my Mom at one of her doctors, and take Bub's to the Vet in the next couple of days, he needs his rabies shot and his back toenails cut which I DREAD! Neither of my dogs liked their feet touched... and he actually "nipped" at the Vet's assistant last time I had him in, so that means I have to "muzzle" him and I hate that!!! Thus of course his nails are way too long and no matter how I try he will not let me cut them... I have tried every thing in my power to get him to let me cut his nails, but him and Tazzy hated their feet messed with... ONE THING I WILL do differently with a new pup.... CUT THEIR NAILS RIGHT OFF MYSELF... and avoid having to take them in, have to muzzle one, like Bub's, and it saves a great deal of time and heart ache for me, because I just hate having to put that thing on him....and I even tried at home at one time to muzzle him, but he is so strong with his front paws, that he can pull it off, if I don't have anyone to help hold his feet down while I do muzzle him... so to the Vet we go, and I know she will faint, because most women would envy how long my dogs nails got and get... it is just nuts... but since they are in the house, they don't wear them down like outside dogs do....

I've been in such a tangled mess with my life in the past several months... I feel as if I am NEVER "caught up" - I always feel like I am 5 steps behind what I need to be doing, I am so slow at everything... I even had my hair cut all off short, so I don't have to take time with it because I feel as if I can spend that time doing something else other than messing with my hair...but the sad thing is I bought color for it gosh, 3 or 4 weeks ago I guess, and I STILL HAVE NOT found the time to color it! Something else always seems to take priority or by the time I may find a moment to do it, I am too tired to fool with it, so here it sits on my desk, as a reminder of one of the MANY things that need to be done....

As I stopped a moment to make out a Birthday Card for My Granddaughter, Heather, who will be 18 on the 30th of this month, again memories flood my heart, she met me when she was only 2 years old, and "Nana Pam" now is what her and both of her brothers call me. I've been able to "watch" them grow up through here, Facebook, - my daughter has been so great about posting all of their vacations, school functions, prom, homecoming, football season, Heather being a cheerleader, in volleyball, their vacations, the boys and all of the excursions they go on with their Dad and their Mom, my daughter Amanda, and again, how time has flown by so quickly just makes me wonder how life can go by within the beat of a heart, within a breaths space.. it seems I just met her - a tiny little thing, and here she is all grown up about to be 18 and off to college! My how life can truly rush by... at times I am sad because I am far enough away that I have not been there physically to witness all of their triumphs, but as I said my daughter blesses me with so many photo's of all of their special times that I feel like a piece of me is always there - watching as they grow into young guys and soon Heather a young woman off to college to follow her own dreams.

I often "feel" for our kids now days. This world has truly changed so much, and in many ways, NOT GOOD! There is so much more rivalry, rather than chivalry out there now... where there used to be goodness and gratefulness, has been moved to being greedy and just down right hateful and mean.... people are "bitter" about so many things, and of course in some ways, they have the right to be bitter. When you stop a moment, and think of all the horror daily not just in other countries but right here on our own soil, in our schools, colleges, Malls, everywhere there are "people" there seems to be a "person" which is is difficult to call someone a "person" when they want to do harm to other innocent people... but it is all around us... NONE of us "immune" from that fact.

Yet, there are still "good people" those who are kind and generous. They do for others, and not because they have to, but because they "want to".... I have a dear friend who is really going through a very tough time .... she is fighting the big "C" word, after having it back a first time while we were basically still in High School - and then here it is 30 plus years later, and again she is battling it... trying to work, never has a bad thing to say about anyone else, an is always so very grateful for those around her that do all they can to help, out of the kindness of their hearts, not because they "have to", but because they "want to"....

And I partially because most of my family is gone, My Dad and all of his siblings, parents and so forth passed away, and even some of his cousins and so on also gone. I was basically an only child, and have a "half brother" but he was at least 15 years plus older than me, went into the Air Force and spent 20 years much of it overseas in England. He retired from the service years ago and then they settled in North Richland Hills in the Dallas area and he was working for one of the big helicopter flight simulator places I believe. So, my Mom's parents have both passed away, she has lost both siblings, an older brother and his wife, and lately her younger sister to cancer... so when it comes to "family" especially close family, I really only have Mom and my two kids and of course my daughter's family. Even at that they are hours and hours away, and my son, also at least an hour or so away, with a job of his own, and life to also deal with.

So, last week when it came time to try and "adopt" a pup I did not realize the entire realm of red tape involved. It has been years since the last time I actually adopted a cat or dog... my last two, Tazz was a Christmas present and we bought her in Seattle, and Bub's I also bought him when he was just a puppy.... so when I get this email wanted ALL of this stuff and THREE references - asking ALL about my home, yard, how I was with my past animals etc... I was like I don't have that many people that are here close enough to give me 3 of them... but Jim was gracious enough to fill one out and my Mom helped me out, and hopefully with those, and everything I've told them, along with Vet records from my current one, whom is just a sweetheart and I am so happy she is back in town also... we went to school together... and then my other Vet that took care of them for years before Venetia Shafer at BlueBonnet Vet Clinic came back... I am hoping that is enough .... I've been racking my brain to think of someone else... of course my daughter could help out or my son, but they are so busy, taking to time fill out a long form for them is difficult... with kids, jobs, home and so on, I can't believe they keep up with everything as it is....

I guess that is the one thing I hope "joining the Methodist Church" would help me with... now that it is just myself and Bub's... I have Mom, but really no one that is a "close friend"... and a couple of people "close to me" but not like we do things together etc... so I was hoping by getting involved back in Church, and hoping to find some other things to participate in, I would find some "friends"... and we all know with the autoimmune illnesses, the Lupus, RA and so forth... my life "daily schedule" varies from one moment to the next... depending on how I feel, or how Mom is doing...

I also realized that if it were not for my Mom, I have no one to "assist" me with anything, say this plumbing issue... or anything like that... I don't "know" enough people well enough in town, even though I have been here for all my life for the most part, I guess due to my "life when married" I kept myself more at home, almost locked away, busy with those things, I did not get out in the community to meet others... and here I am 55 years old... and unlike a couple of my friends, or like my neighbor, they have "friends" that are helping them building a two car HUGE GARAGE that is as big as my home! I "Lack" that type of support system... I am "new" to the church, been going now for about 3 months, but sick some of that time... I have not gotten out and about to meetings, or even to the Saturday Farmer's Market and so forth, so I must find the "funds" to pay for my plumber, or have work that is so in need on my home, or any and everything that comes up, there is not anyone I can have that could help out... and you know, that frightens me honestly... of course I have my Mom... and my daughter and son, but they are as I said hours away, and have their own jobs, lives, and so on... so I am upset with myself... that I have allowed myself to stay "almost too alone" to have any kind of support system... my neighbors have "helped" some, but I have been quite honestly upset with one in particular... he used to always be here asking if we needed anything... when Jim was here, he constantly was mowing the lawn, and I usually paid him, even when he said he did not want it... but I knew they needed the money at that time... and my other neighbors have a very ill Mom they take care of and another one is up in age, and she needs help herself... so it gets to this spot in life, that you begin to think, what would I do if I needed this, that or the other... I can guarantee my Social Security Check pays the bills barely, and that is all... in fact I am very upset with my car insurance, it seems every time they bill me, that bill is higher, even though my car is older... and now I must spend Lord knows how much time trying to find a "new" and hopefully better Medicare Advantage Plan... the one I chose for this year has sucked more than I can say, and they are someone I would NEVER ever recommend to anyone! I am extremely disappointed in AARP for even "sponsoring them" - they have done some really horrible things this year to their patients, and I am just mad as hell honestly, because now I must spend days trying to find another plan that will cover ALL of my doctors, my medications and that is a hard thing to do now days... our doctors are all shy of even Medicare and a supplement these days... they DO NOT get paid for months and sometimes a year or more, thus they are leery.... Well, I need to get busy on other stuff as you can see, but I wanted to take time to first tell those who do help THANK YOU! Whether a kind word, or support of my advocacy etc.... I appreciate all of you.... and to let you know there are many things right now in my own life that are frightening.... I am going through a great deal of emotional distress... and "losing" a relationship after 13 years and then losing Tazzy after 3 years, have really put me in a place of even more distress.... there are other things playing into this but, I shall stay quiet for now about those.... but to all, remember the great memories and hold them close... remember time is fleeting, and before you know it, you are in your mid 50's and wonder what the heck you really have done in this life.... and to hold on to whom and what is dear to you.... Rhia

Saturday, August 29, 2015

RA, Autoimmune Illnesses, Osteoarthritis, Tips for those with the diseases and/or signs and symptoms to watch for...

Since this seems to be EXACTLY what I am personally going through, I wanted to post this article! Never, ever would I have ever imagines, I would have cellulitis! What is MOST TERRIFYING IS THAT NOW I have TWO lumps one on EACH Upper Front Thigh and they are almost exactly where I gave myself THE LAST TWO INJECTIONS OF ORENCIA!!!! We are always "reminded" and educated about the risks of these medications, yet some of them more rare than others.... just a "heads up" for all!

Here is the story (information) from "The Lancet"  -

More information for those with RA - 5 Illnesses to keep in mind

Signs and Symptoms of RA

What is "Autoimmune Arthritis"?

Thursday, August 27, 2015

National Pain Awareness Month September 2015 - US Pain Foundation and the "30 day" Challenge for you!

The National Pain Awareness Month coming very soon for September 2015, and sponsored by the US Pain Foundation have all types of things YOU can do to spread the word about Chronic Pain, to everyone, whether online, in your community, state... you can help!

My Mayor here in my hometown, has signed a "Pain Proclamation" and they have also okayed me to put up Posters, Ribbons and so forth for the "Beautify in Blue" Campaign for September Pain Awareness, and I am thrilled to be able to do something!

Chronic Pain all too often at times is yet another one of our "invisible illnesses"... many of us don't go out with canes, walkers, or limping... BUT that does NOT mean that we are NOT in terrible pain... for many of us it waxes and wanes, moment to moment, day to day... we never know when and where it may hit us...

Here is the "30 Day Challenge" Information that gives you some ideas about what you can do to help....

US Pain Foundation and Some Fun Ways to Spread the Word!

Day 1:
Change your profile picture on Facebook, Tumblr,
Twitter, etc. to a logo designed to raise awareness. The
logo can be found on the US Pain Foundation webpage:
Day 2:
Wear White and Blue! Show your support for US Pain
Foundation by wearing our colors in various ways! If
you’re feeling colorful, you can wear a tie dye shirt to
represent that there are many types of pain. This is much
like the concept of our Pain Warrior Bracelets, which we
encourage you to wear on a daily basis!
Day 3:
What would you do if you lived pain free? Write
down a few ideas, activities or career goals. Then,
modify one or several to fit your “new normal”. Set
yourself a goal and share it with us through email, the
Ambassador Website or Facebook!
Day 4:
Use social media to explain to family and friends
why you decided to join the U.S. Pain Foundation, or what
you like most about your involvement with the
Day 5:
Submit a letter to the editor explaining the
organization, how many people (over 100 million) live
with pain, etc.
Day 6:
Take some pics! Have someone (if possible) take a
picture of how you feel on a good day or bad day. Explain
to your friends and family what this picture represents,
how pain can look different for everyone, and why you
Day 7:
Week one is done, so have some fun! Be creative
indoors or out and show your community what US Pain is
all about! Use chalk, paint...whatever you have free, and
proudly display “Pain Warrior” for everyone to see!
Please only decorate on property where you have been
given permission to do so.
Day 8:
Circulate! Choose a handful of locations you would
like to visit and during this month, stop by a library,
rehabilitation center or community center to drop off US
Pain brochures. Leave your US Pain Ambassador business
cards too!
Day 9:
Sharing time! Try reaching out to one person who’d
benefit by knowing about U.S. Pain Foundation. You can
share how the organization’s helped you and that
information can be found on our website:
Day 10:
Rest, relax, rejuvenate, repeat. Make this YOUR
time to find that quiet place or spoil yourself with a
new haircut, massage (confirm it is safe to do so with
your physician) or nap!
Day 11:
Attend a support group meeting, pain awareness or
community event! The gathering doesn’t have to fall on
this day, but plan ahead and support community efforts
taking place in your area. This provides great networking
Day 12:
Say ‘Thank you’. Those two words can mean so much
and doesn’t take a lot of effort to show someone that you
appreciate them. Choose a caregiver, friend, family
member, doctor, nurse—anyone and everyone who has helped
Day 13:
Did your state proclamation get approved in
September? If so, brag about the proactive efforts of
your state via social media. We’re showcasing all of the
approved proclamations here:
You can share this link with others as part of
today’s activity!
Day 14:
Put down the pen and share the US Pain Foundation
Facebook page on your social media platform of choice!
Let others know that this resource is made available by
sharing this link:
Day 15:
You’re halfway through the challenge, but there’s
several more days and ways to raise awareness! Create
your own activity or task for today that you feel will
reach our goal of advocating, being proactive and
motivating others!
Day 16:
Try a form of complimentary therapy! There’s a
list of options on our website. As an organization we
support all therapies available and to not endorse just
one type of treatment. Please consult your primary
physician or pain management doctor before deciding to
participate in one of the complimentary therapy options.
Day 17:
Encourage a friend. Sometimes it isn’t easy to
find inspiration on days when a person is down on his or
her luck. This day can serve as an opportunity to connect
with someone who is also in pain, or just a friend in
Day 18:
Write a list of things you like about yourself!
It’s okay to have a little fun with this activity and be
honest with yourself. This can include accomplishments
you are proud of achieving, despite your pain.
Day 19:
Paint or draw a picture depicting pain. Once
completed, share it with us by taking a photograph and
emailing it to fellow Ambassadors and/or on social media.
We may also ask for them to be sent to our main office
for display!
Day 20:
Rest, relax, rejuvenate, repeat. No really, we
mean it! Go ahead and take another personal day for YOU!
Day 21:
Try for one day being aware of how many times you
want to feel or say something negative. Attempt to catch
yourself today and instead, put a positive spin on your
thoughts. Remember the good days that you’ve had and will
continue to have!
Day 22:
Create your own challenge! Be creative and
innovative today and let your individuality shine!
Day 23:
Invite a new friend to join US Pain as a
volunteer, member or Ambassador.
Day 24:
Educate yourself by learning about a pain
condition you do not have. We become a better support
system for the pain community just by knowing a little
more about those conditions, syndromes, injuries and
diseases that exist.
Day 25:
Log onto the Ambassador website and blog about
your 30 Day Challenge Journey! Writing down your thoughts
in general is a therapeutic tool. Members and volunteers,
share your challenge on the US Pain Facebook page!
Day 26:
Visit a nursing home, hospital or similar venue,
speaking with those coping with pain. This type of
supportive outreach is sometimes lacking and is such an
easy way to let other pain warriors know that they’re not
Day 27:
Reach out to one another. Introduce yourself to
other volunteers within your state or across the country!
We’re a close-knit group of understanding, compassionate
individuals, sharing the same goals. Send emails, chat
online, meet up somewhere or make a quick phone call to
fellow pain warriors! You may find a forever friend or
pen pal!
Day 28:
Post it! Write your favorite quote or personal
saying you have created and make it your daily mantra.
Keep repeating the saying today and post it on

Day 29:

Schedule an appointment to sit down with
administrators at a local elementary, middle or high
school. Request the time to speak with them about
visiting a classroom. The purpose would be to discuss
what it’s like to live with pain, that children shouldn’t
be afraid to visit a doctor’s office, discuss the US Pain
Foundation, and distribute our tie dye Pain Warrior
bracelets as a thank you for feeling welcome in their
classroom. We recognize that in order to eliminate the
stigma of what pain is and what it looks like, we should
start by educating our younger generations and decrease
discrimination within the school system where there are
often children who live with pain, are wheel-chair
dependent, have a handicap or know someone who is
dependent on others.
Day 30:
Self-reflect on the month. Look at all you have
accomplished inside of 30 days! Many of these activities
can be implemented and executed throughout the year as a
means to spread awareness. These small steps are making a
huge difference in the lives of those who once felt
alone, but are now aware that there is an organization
emphasizing fair policies for patients, reinforcing
proper pain treatment and providing support systems and
resources for the community at large. We thank you for
being a part of this positive change, and a part of the
U.S. Pain Foundation Ambassador family!