Showing posts with label Trying to Cope with chronic illness & pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Trying to Cope with chronic illness & pain. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Day 9 - "Happy Hump Day" WEGO Health Blog Challenge - "What would be my "perfect" Day"?

First answer, going to the Casino... to stay overnight and get away from ALL of the illness, medications, cleaning, stress, loss of my Mom, and the grief from dealing with all that comes along with having to take care of everything after losing a parent or loved one. Being the "caretaker" before, while and after they are ill, and then pass away.

OF course that is a "1st" answer and it is extremely true, when it comes to wishing for the "perfect day" for myself right now. When "you" are chronically ill, chronically in pain, and most days you never know if you shall wake up feeling "good", "bad", horrible, or even on those rare occasions "WONDERFUL"; you hope for more of those wonderful days.

That does not mean ones that give me the time to go to the Casino for an overnight stay necessarily, but those or at least one or two, that give me the ability to get up, with pain and illness that is as less as possible. A day that the sun is shining, the weather is not to warm or not too cool, that day I can clean my home, go run errands, go to the market, maybe make a great meal, even in the slow cooker, play with my pups, have time to go outside, trim a few limbs from my trees, tend to my yard a bit, and even at the end of that day, not feel as if a "tractor trailer" had ran over me.

Yet, for many of us, we realize that "good" day, that leads us to be able to do those small or large things we want to do, shall probably lead to the next few days of being in pain, not feeling well, and having to "recover" from that one or two days we felt well enough to go out and feel "normal" for a bit of time.

For me, that is a perfect day. Those that come, where I get up, not as in much pain, not so fatigued, and I do feel like taking a shower, dressing up, putting on my makeup, fixing my hair, and going out to do errands, shop, wash my car, and not look "sick". It seems those days are rare. Oh, the shower, and running errands I do, but to really "feel" like dressing up, putting on makeup, getting my hair looking really nice, and then putting that "smile" on, and not looking worn out are the ones that are so far and few between.

At times, I feel that is why maybe I find myself slipping back or shying away from taking that overnight trip away. I may feel wonderful while I am out and about, wherever, Casino, shopping, yard work or whatever, because I realize that more times than not, I will "pay" for that 1 or 2 great days.

A day, two, three, a week, weeks, months.... most of us would give a great deal that we had, if not everything we had just to have a "normal' day, week, month, or year. Without being ill, without needing surgery, without needing many medications, without pain, and time we can spend with family, friends, on a job, in our home, just to "feel well" for a brief and wishfully a "lifetime" of not being chronically ill, or in chronic pain. 

Alas, since yesterday was an "election day" of a "first" ever for this nation or the world for that matter, "FREEDOM" is what I and ALL that are ill wished for a day, that is perfect 'FREEDOM FROM THE GRIEF OF CHRONICALLY BEING ILL AND IN PAIN".








Thursday, July 14, 2016

Always Something With ME Now a KIDNEY INFECTION AND PROBABLY STILL A SEVERE LUPUS FLARE!

I am DOG SICK from "something"... I was fine, then last night about 10PM I began to have one of those "cold sweat" spells... and I even had to change my clothes I was so soaking wet... but I laid down, got still and woke up about 4AM, and I knew I had to be fixing to have fever... every joint and muscle in my body was so severely in pain, I was almost screaming it hurt so bad. I checked my temp and that the time it was okay, but withing a half hour, I knew it was going up...so it went to 99.5, then to 100.5 and then 101.5 and I had already had 4 Tylenol, plus my other meds. 

This Pain" usually feels almost as if I am going to stiff so stiff, and almost like a "seizure", but I've never had one... but I know when I have that type of pain, I will have fairly high fever... I had NO CLUE why... I was fine, painted yesterday and was fine until last night...so I am dammit on the sofa, drinking green tea, and covered up with my blanket... it sucks. I have some antibiotics left from the wasp sting, so I decided to take those to see if I may have some type of infection... 

I have a "small bit" of a cough, and had a tiny bit of cough meds in the fridge, so I took that early and I am not coughing anymore.... this just is pissing me off! I have SO MUCH to do.,. and my floor buffer came in yesterday, so I need to learn how to use it, and I don't even feel like reading anything.... anyway, last time this happened I was sick for a day, and then the next day was fine.... go figure... so if I am still not well tomorrow, or my temp won't stay down, I will do over to Urgent Care to make sure I don't have pneumonia, or something going on.... the SEVERE body pain is what is the worst...

Well even though I DID NOT want to! : I went to Urgent Care this morning. It seems I have a bad kidney infection. rather than pneumonia or something upper lung issues etc... which I think I may have a combination of still a really, really, kicking my butt Lupus Flare... so that explains a great deal.... 

SO here we are AGAIN on ANTIBIOTICS! I HATE to take them, BUT I have no choice if I want to get well and get on with my life.... this sucks

Then to make things ever feel worse  :

 
I needed a shower before I went ANYWHERE! BUT, (and it was all I could do to take a shower) YET AM SO OUT OF IT, after I WALKED IN AND BEGAN TO I realized I FORGOT MY DENTURES!!!!! I NEVER walk OUT OF THIS house to GO ANYWHERE WITHOUT THOSE! I WAS SOOOOOOOOOO EMBARRASSED!!!!I've never pulled that kind of stunt before... I am still embarrassed......