Sharing the Excitement of the Coming Months! (Trying to Ignore the PAIN of these Illnesses - RA, Lupus, Sjogren's, MS, Myasthenia Gravis, Perniscious Anemia and the list grows)

I have been trying my best to "brave" the chill in the air, knowing that means several things. Shorter days, cooler weather, Fall colors and Autumn leaves coming down. Holidays here before we know it, cooking, baking, and the smell of Thanksgiving, pumpkin pies, rolls, wonderful home made quick breads, and spices like cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, and those "pungent" aromatic hints that Winter is here, Christmas, and before we know it,  2014 will be a memory, and 2015 shall be in full swing.

My bones, joints and most of my body HATE the cold, aching, throbbing feelings that are the "bad" stuff following along with the good.

I LOVE to bake! I have always loved to bake anything sweet. From cakes, pies, cookies, cobblers, and the calories that go along with fudge, peanut brittle, and the confections that almost feel like they are going straight to my hips as I just think about them.

Alas, the fight against pain, fatigue, and stress versus the fun of baking, cooking, and the heavenly sweet potatoes, gravy, ham, turkey, stuffing.... and yes it makes me hungry just thinking about it. But l know that I must start early - each year even earlier than the last if I truly want to make all of those goodies, getting them all packed up with bows and in beautiful sacks, boxes or containers to give out to our neighbors. I recall the first year not too long ago when we did it, I had made like 5 different types of quick breads, fudge, fruit cakes, candies and cookies with ribbons and cards tucked away for remembering our neighbors and to bring good cheer to those who surround us with their friendship truly is throughout each year. We have wonderful neighbors. They do some great things for us during the year and we try to reciprocate with the baking and cooking.

It is also getting close to that time we make our "New Years Resolutions"  or more like rather than "resolutions" trying to set "goals" for 2015. Of course after March 26th, 2014, and all that transpired on that one fateful day; as I sat gracefully awaiting Jim to arrive in Washington DC, those words still ring in my head that "your husband has been in a very severe car accident". He was "ran over" by an 18 wheel tractor trailer...

At that very second, I knew that ALL of my "goals" for 2014 just were blew out of the window, thrown in the street, and ran over by a bus... train and then hit by a plane... Of course goals were the very last thing on the agenda once all of that hit.... every and any plans I had made for this year went out the window, bath water, tub, soap, and almost the baby... if you take the old saying to heart. ;)

So, the very last thing I want to do for 2015 is make "grand plans" only to be on the floor again, cleaning up the mess. Lord knows this year has been a ball of twine, rolled and knotted, with no signs of ever getting it ready to crochet a sweater from.

Thus, I with much hesitation begin thinking about my "gifts" for 2015. My hopes are that I do get to put as much of myself into the throws of activism, ambassadorship, volunteer work, and advocacy for all of us. We definitely NEED many, many more "educated" people when it comes to the world of Arthritis "101"!!! As a friend of mine and myself had an email conversation a couple of weeks ago, it continues to overwhelm me just how many people in our world, very well educated at that, do NOT get "ARTHRITIS" & all of our Autoimmune issues.

Many of the specialists we go to that are supposed to BE SPECIALISTS in these fields and have the knowledge to HELP US. YET, many of them are NOT educated, especially on the latest of technology, advancement in medications, & having so many clinical trials that have came into play, BUT we still don't have many of the answers we continue to search for.

I believe as "patients", loved ones, and close friends, we are "drawn like moths to a flame" when it comes to anything we can "throw" at an arthritic illness, autoimmune illness, chronic pain and/or other medical issues. We tend to spend more time researching these new ideas in science.

From a supplement, to an older drug used for malaria, to a brand new biologic making its debut in the news. We have made some head way by turning back the clock, starting over at the beginning of when it first arrived.  I am not sure if I believe in some of the stronger more advanced biologic medications. Some of the side effects that seem to be almost worse than the diseases, illnesses and syndromes themselves.

So, as I am contemplating the things that so far have been "diced, sliced and served up" on my "plate" for 2015, my hope is that I will be able to continue to do those, along with find the place where my "voice" is for my next book. I had made myself a wager, that I would at least complete 75% of the 3rd book by the end of this year. Alas, as I began stating in this post, never will I again allow myself to get so overly thrilled with the idea of finishing the 3rd book that I forget the many factors that can "over throw" your ideas. And if they can, and do... they will.

I pray that I DO get to write that book. It maybe the last one I complete, but I will be always trying to strive to write daily, no matter to be published something once again. Life begins where it wants to... sometimes and then it takes you further and further into the realms of distant waters, surrounding you with ocean waves and not one iota of land in sight. After days and days  the clouds roll away, the thunder and stormy waters return to a calmness, and "Voila'" you are back on the correct path again, with the sun shining on your face.

Cherish those moments.... never let anyone or anything keep you from "your own dance".....

:I will be adding my "list" of things I would love to see me get my "teeth into" firmly.... not as in a vampirical status, but in the place that I can "taste" what I have been put here to do... help others...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

Living Life In An AutoImmune Illness "Zone"....

Life as we have lived it... and now Life as WE that deal with AutoImmune illnesses Live it Differently  - Yet Happily!

As some of you know, I live in TX, just below the Dallas area. WE are having our first blast of very COLD weather today and over the next few days. We are now under a Winter Storm Advisory, with possibly sleet, ice, and some snow. Usually we get more ice than the fun stuff, snow. As I was talking about on FB, how I can "predict" the weather almost better than the forecasters can, the memories came pouring back to me of when I was able to go snow skiing. For years, before I had all of the illnesses happen, we went snow skiing, every year the week of my birthday. It was our annual vacation, that I saved up for as soon as I got home from the one we were on. I put money back in a "Christmas savings" fund every week for the entire year. Part we used for Santa and Christmas and the other was for our trip. Those are still some incredible memories for me. That was a time when I was on those skis, I felt completely "FREE". All of the snow and the forests, and just a quiet feeling of peace always came over me as I started down the mountain. Don't get me wrong... I took some hellacious spills. We always made videos so we could laugh about each other and our "Oh Crap" falls. You knew when one of us was going to take a very funny fall, because "Oh Crap" was all you heard! ;) Anyway, below is the post from Face Book that I wanted to share with everyone here. 

This may not sound like a "post" about autoimmune arthritic illnesses, yet it has all to do with then for me. Now I can no longer snow ski. In fact there are many things that have been crossed off my list, because I no longer do them. Mowing my lawn, and tilling the garden. Going to the lake and being in the sun. Making plans like a trip for something to do months away. I never know even a week before something is planned if I am going to be able to go or not. There are times I feel so bad that I cancel doctors appointments. I am just too fatigued to go, especially if the appointment are in Dallas. 

This comes to the place of why I can't do things any longer. It is certainly not age. There are MANY people I saw on those slopes as Wolf Creek Pass that were in their 70's. I am sure some of them lived close, so they have much more practice. But it is just the point "age" does not necessarily cause someone to stop doing things they enjoy doing. As you are reading this, I am sure you are thinking back to the times that are special to you also. Vacations, visiting family or friends, gardening, riding a bike, just a number of things that so many love to do, and do it. Age is not the factor at all. 

But, having an illness that can even strike when you are very young, in your teens, can stop you from doing many things that you loved to do, or would love to do. Is it a difficult thing to handle? You bet it is. I know I speak for not just myself but ALL of us with an Autoimmune Arthritic Illness, or any type of Autoimmune illness and/or Chronic Pain/Chronic Illnesses such as FM and CFS that also take away so many things in life that either we once took for granted; or at least never gave a thought that we would not be able to do them "the next time". Yet, it can strike anyone. Even though "women" are probably 80 more times or more to come down with one of these illnesses, men are also victims of these diseases. So, they do not discriminate when it comes to gender, age, or race. I have read articles and I am sure to do those studies that African-American people are more prone to these illnesses such as Lupus than other genders. I am sure researchers have been studying that one a great deal to find out why a nationality would make a difference. Also, why so many more women are much more likely to get the disease than men. 

My point to this is one, I did have some great memories flow through my mind when it comes to snowy weather. I also have these "blasting" memories of how much these horrid diseases take away from our lives. From changing relationships, families, jobs, and everything about your life basically, all of us can't help but be angry at times about it. Even though like myself, we come to accept it for the most part, I still feel at times like a piece of me has died... has left me... and changed me forevermore.

WE do learn to deal with it. I have in most ways. You find ways to compensate for what an autoimmune illness takes away. You learn new hobbies, or a different way to do them. You discover another way in a relationship to be close, and educate your spouse, and your family so they will truly understand the "why" of the things you can't do. 

As I often talk about my life, a flowing river, where there are bends, turns, white rushing waters, and then the bridges I flow under. The climb to the top of life's mountain. I scratch, crawl, and inch my way up, and sometimes I slide back down, as the rocks and stones may scar me, I still look up and know that is where I am supposed to be. 

For the rest of the year, and into the next year, I hope each of you who suffer and are inflicted with these still misunderstood life altering illnesses, such as RA, :Lupus, Sjogren's, MS, Still's disease, MCTD, UCTD, JA, pernicious anemia and the 100 other AI diseases out there, can look UP and reach up to see that you also can stand atop your own "life"s mountain".... and reach up to the stars... and feel whole again... even if that means you must "change" how you enjoy life in a new way!!!!


This below is a Face Book post from this morning... I wanted to say it also along with the above writing.... 

 I imagine you are probably getting it up there worse than we are. they have changed the forecast so many times the past week, I was not sure what it was going to do.  But my "bones" always let me know... My thumbs and fingers have been extremely bad this past week or so. Not just pain... now it is more of them not wanting to bend, I have like almost "zero" flexibility. I can't hold onto things That has been going on for a while now. That is partially why I suspected MS along with all of the other ailments. I have just lost so much grip and strength in my hands, arms, fingers, and I notice it lately even in my legs. IF I am up for a long while at the house doing things, or I go to "Wally World" and walk for a long while in there, my legs feel like "rubber bands" of jello ... I feel as if I am going to just collapse. I guess partially illnesses, partially all of the surgeries, and then I guess I have to account for getter older!!! Even though that is NT one I really want to ADMIT!  Kind of like my memory... if I forget, or can't remember, I blame it on the brain fog...  better than saying maybe I have dementia... You stay warm up there and out of this weather... and of course avoid all of the "no driving fools" that try to drive in ice. No way most Texans from in this part can drive on ice. HAHAH Many of them can't drive on dry pavement, much less wet or icy!!! Speaking about "black ice" on the roads. One year we were coming home from snow skiing in Pagosa Springs, CO... at Wolf Creek Pass (some great memories of snow skiing for me)... we left Santa Fe... and already knew it was a possibility the roads could be bad. We got to the main highway from Santa Fe (I-40) to head to Amarillo state and all of a sudden we felt the van just slip a little... it was a solid sheet of thin ice on the roads and of course you can't see it. Anyway, we slowed down to a crawl. In fact we happened to have borrowed a friends van so we sure as heck did not want to be in a wreck, much less a friend's vehicle.. suddenly here comes an 18 wheeler SIDEWAYS beside us just flying past. He jackknifed it into the medium and then here comes several cars, and they were not expecting it. Each one that went around us were in the ditch when we got up ahead. In fact, we drove on to Amarillo, but it took us something like 12 HOURS to get there. We called 911 and reported the accidents, but the entire way there were cars and 18-wheeler in the ditches. It was nuts. Believe me I felt that the Lord was helping to drive that van for sure.

Confusion and Concerns - any suggestions?

We were planning a trip to Washington DC in October. But I have lots of concerns due to both of us and our health issues. I really need that pain pump done before the 1st of the year, due to my insurance situation. I may have to change insurance at the 1st of the year, and don't know how that might effect me. My pain, plus the Lupus etc is a huge concern for a trip of 10 days, and thousands of miles. But, I also feel he needs to get his stomach checked out. He has been having severe issues with nausea & even sometimes vomiting blood. He gets sick trying to eat. He does not have insurance so we need to get him into the clinic that can take care of this on a sliding fee scale. He has been there before, but he needs to redo paperwork, and it takes awhile to get an appt. & get the tests etc. He also has very bad pain that requires strong pain medication due to his lower back problem. We are worn out when we just take a day or overnight trip to Bossier or the casino in OK. He complains enough that I have to do some of the driving. And that is only a 2 or 3 hour trip & then back. I just don't see us driving 1300 miles one way, and not having major health issues. Plus, we have both of our dogs, that are so used to us, they get upset when we are gone a few hours. When I go into the hospital they lay around and won't eat or drink for days sometimes. We need to take them with us, but my Pug is very prone to motion sickness, and she hates riding. If we leave them, I fear our neighbor kid, even though they are good neighbors may not come in & take care of them, just due to the fact they get all hyped when any one comes in other than us. They jump, bark and just get nuts, because of being used to just him and I, and not really having much company. The little one is very protective & he nips sometimes until he is used to you. I fear the boy might not come around due to all of that & I would never forgive myself if something happened to either him or our puppies. Any one knows when you have a chronic illness or pain, there is lots to consider when taking an extended vacation of any kind. I just feel we should postpone the trip until spring. Save up more money, so we can rent a small motor home, take the dogs, and then we can have more room, I can get my pain pump installed, he can get his stomach looked into... and the trip would be much more pleasant. But, I knew if I even mentioned it, he would get upset. Well, I tried to say something yesterday, and sure enough, he got upset before I could even explain all of my concerns. Now, we are just "being civil" but not really talking. Which is not like us. I don't know what to say or do anymore. There is too much as stake with our health, our home, our lives, our animals etc. We need to have tires put on our car, and get the transmission checked. I just feel I should at least be able to voice my concerns. I realize he is looking forward to showing my DC an seeing his step-Mom, and she is all hyped up also. But, I feel my concerns are legitimate and postponing the trip would be better, and then we won't have such worries on our plate in a few months. I don't know what to do honestly.

Another Monday, Hot Weather, Friends, Oceana & More

This truly hit home with me this morning. We have so many worries, concerns, and stresses in our lives, too often I know for myself, I forget to really remind myself, just how incredibly blessed I really am. I do have a little home to call my own, I have food and drink, I have a decent vehicle to get around in, I have my husband, my Mom, my two children, and now since the birth of Logan, a week ago today, three grandchildren. I also have my pride and joy, my "fur kid" my pug, Tazz, who is just a joy in my life. I do struggle with health issues that keep me from doing many things, yet I am still able to do other things I enjoy, from reading, writing poetry and short stories, crocheting, sewing, working some in my new garden, and the list goes on. No, I will never snow ski again, but I did have several years of going and so many wonderful memories from skiing and other vacations. I am able to worship where I want, and when I want, without being condemned or harassed... So, when I saw this, I wanted to share with you... because I am also very thankful for my friendship with you.

I wish you many incredible memories and times to come to make more... Pam

WHAT HAPPENS IN HEAVEN ?
(This is one of the nicest e-mails I have seen, and it really puts things into perspective..)

I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around. We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels. My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said, 'This is the Receiving Section. Here, all petitions to God said in prayer are received.'

I looked around in this area, and it was terribly busy with so many angels sorting out petitions written on voluminous paper sheets and scraps from people all over the world.

Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second section..

The angel then said to me, 'This is the Packaging and Delivery Section. Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are processed and delivered to the living persons who asked for them... 'I noticed again how busy it was there. There were many angels working hard at that station, since so many blessings had been requested and were being packaged for delivery to Earth.

Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the door of a very small station. To my great surprise, only one angel was seated there, idly doing nothing. 'This is the Acknowledgment Section,' my angel friend quietly admitted to me. He seemed embarrassed.

'How is it that there is no work going on here?' I asked.

'So sad,' the angel sighed. 'After people receive the blessings that they asked for, very few send back acknowledgments ..'

'How does one acknowledge God's blessings?' I asked.
'Simple,' the angel answered. Just say, 'Thank you, Lord.'

'What blessings should they acknowledge?' I asked.

'If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of this world. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy .'

'And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the 1% in the world who has that opportunity.'

'If you woke up this morning with more health than illness ... you are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day .'

'If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation .... you are ahead of 700 million people in the world.'

'If you can attend a church without the fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death, you are envied by and more blessed than three billion people in the world. '

'If your parents are still alive and still married ... you are very rare .'

'If you can hold your head up and smile, you are not the norm, you're unique to all those in doubt and despair.'

Ok, what now? How can I start? If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you as very special and you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.

Have a good day, count your blessings, and if you want, pass this along to remind everyone else how blessed we all are.

ATTN:
"Acknowledge Dept.":

'Thank you Lord, for giving me the ability to share this message and for giving me so many wonderful people to share it with.'
I thank God especially for all my family and friends !!

If you have read this far, and are thankful for all that you have been blessed with, how can you not send it on?


If you spent time to read the above, then you will see I am continuing from here. I posted the "What happens in Heaven" just due to how it hit me, that I so often want to gripe and fuss, rather than see all of the blessings I receive daily. We all get caught up in the negative sometimes, and have to be reminded, how much positive light we are given. Of course it is another Monday. Which means work for some, errands, running around, paying bills, or whatever and however your week begins. For myself, it begins with an extremely hot day. The humidity is already high, and we are to reach 90 degrees today, and more like 100 by Friday! I have to admit I am not looking forward to the heat. I guess old age has set in, but I have problems with extreme heat or cold now. My body just does not tolerate either. With the garden going, all of the new houseplants I have added to our home, we need to paint the outside of the house, plus everything else like cutting the grass and so forth, the extreme triple digit temps sure make those things much more difficult to do and enjoy. Thank goodness for the new propane grill. That way, we don't have to heat up the kitchen as much. Plus probably like most we tend to eat cooler and lighter meals, more salads, including tuna salad, chicken salad, taco salads, and things not as heavy as the Winter time meals.

My new grandson Logan, is doing well. Amanda says they are both doing okay. She is still tired and sore from the C-Section, but knowing her she is probably trying to overdo it too quickly. She says he is just such a good baby, that sometimes she has to wake him up to feed him. He is not wild about a bath yet, and she says he likes to be really bundled up tightly... probably like many, it makes them feel safe, since they are now out of the womb where they felt that.

Today is World Oceans Day... Oceana was started actually by the actor Ted Danson. Shortly after he began being in the sit com Cheers, he decided to give back... thus Oceana was born.

Not much to tell, still trying to get my shoulder completed rehabed, trying to stay cool, and just being... for a change...

I hope all is well with you... I wish the best for everyone.... Rhia