Thursday, July 12, 2018

Weather, Chronic Pain, Pain Pain and MORE PAIN!

Any and everyone of us here, there and yonder, knows how much the "weather" can effect chronic pain. Other illnesses such as Lupus, RA, Osteoarthritis, Joint replacements, cervical spine surgeries and problems, and many more illnesses are "effected" by weather.

Oddly enough, it was not that many years ago, that I would tell my doctor(s), not that long ago, ONE doctor saw you for just about everything.... that THE WEATHER MADE MY MIGRAINES WORSE! Back then, and as I said NOT that long ago, they would look at me like I was nuts, bonkers, and just needed some reason to "complain", go the the Emergency room for the dreaded Migraines that plagued me from the time I was about 17 years old, until I then began having "Lupus Migraines" about 10 years ago.

Lupus Migraines, as I call them are an entire different "ball game" from regular Migraines. Used to pain medication worked for the other migraines. Even though I had to fight tooth and nail to get it often times, my severe headache, nausea, the grogginess, the feeling of wishing you could remove your head from your body was horrid. Yet pain medications handled the problem, most of the time.

Then when I began having Lupus Migraines, no amount of "regular pain medications" in the world will do a thing for them. I must have a huge injection of corticosteroid, and then 10 to 14 days of Prednisone, the "step down" dose, in order to get rid of that type of Migraine.

Fortunately, getting that help is easier than having to go in for any type of narcotic pain medication. Yet, I still have to have those also, for the other "many chronic daily pains"I dread, must still have my pain pump, and I have pills for "break through" pains, especially during the times when the weather acts nuts, causing it to reek havoc with my entire body. I "had the surgeries" to help rid me of the other pain, from the joints that have just disintegrated over the years. I tried to tell doctors way back in my twenties, that I had "genetic arthritis". Again, although not that many years ago, they just didn't want to accept the fact that "someone as young as I was" could have that bad of joints. Yet, it was true. I tore cartilage out of my knee at 15. But, by the time I was 21 it needed surgery again. Then the other knee, my elbows, my shoulders, all began giving me problems. I had them injected more times than I can count.

After the many, many tests, scans, injections, medications, even was hospitalized for a few days to try a medication that was "dangerous" to my heart, and it didn't do one thing for the headaches.

After having several more joint surgeries by the time I was 35, I began getting through to some doctors, that these problems were not all imaginary, but were truly issues that I probably was born with. I even had double hernia surgery about 4 years ago! The surgeon told me I was probably "born" with those areas "weak" like some infant girls are, and after years of walking, lifting, bending, picking up something heavy and so on, that they finally became fully herniated, and had to be repaired. Even that was a nightmare. I could Feel them, I could SEE them, yet 3 doctors and even a sonogram didn't pick them up. I finally went to a surgeon I trusted and HE could feel and see them. HE knew what to look for, and he also was well aware of some women, were born with those spots weakened. And some went on to develop hernia's that needed repair.

Usually you don't catch me "lying around" or doing basically nothing. I fully believe that laying around, even when you feel like "hammered hell" can just cause you to feel worse, hurt worse, and give you a lack of energy, lack of muscles, an you question, which is better? Am I harming myself worse, by getting up and doing  things? Or am I better off "working through the stiffness, pain, swelling, and all of the side effects that go along with these illnesses?   

What sucks is that although I usually DO feel better up and moving, even if it is slowly, it still at times takes all the energy and will power I can muster these days.  I have people who stare at me when I park in the handicapped place. It's still hard to have "invisible illnesses". As much as is out there about so many of us suffering, with these horrid diseases, yet there are still "uneducated", "mean", selfish people that want to make fun of, or cause us more grief that we already deal with on any given day. Just sitting here trying to type had caused my wrists, my upper back, my hips, all to hurt like hell.

So, me now trying to sit down and write a 3rd book, when I need to spend HOURS typing it out, almost seems as if it will never happen.                                                                                                                                                   

Sunday, July 1, 2018

Happy Fourth of July to all of you and a Happy Birthday to my "Bella Doxie" who turns a year old on the 2nd



HAPPY 4TH OF JULY TO ALL! MAY FREEDOM RING!


Peanut and Bella on July 1st, day before Bella Turns a Year old!



Bella about 6 months ago!





Bella, Peanut & Me Wishing you Happy 4th!!!

Bella at about 2 months old!


Bella around 4 months old

Saturday, June 23, 2018

Dravet Syndrome Awareness Day 2018

Saturday, June 16, 2018

Happy Father's Day to Each Dad, Step-Dad, Dad to be, Granddad and My Own Dad who went to Heaven in 2005!



HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! To Every Dad, Granddad, Step-Dad, those who are waiting to become a Dad, and to those such as Wonderful Son In Law, who is a tremendous Husband, Dad, Son, and Son In Law!!!! wishing all Dad's including my own who went to heaven in 2005 a very wonderful and special day!!!!!




Friday, June 15, 2018

Saturday, June 9, 2018

Keith Urban Lyrics, and trying to hold myself together after... 2 years today since Mom passed away, and the loneliness of the loss of her, Dad, Tazzy, Bub's and my love..



Yes, today and yesterday have been difficult for me. Yesterday, things, several things really hit me, right in the gut, literally. By the time I got home from Wally World, I was physically sick to my stomach, and felt horrid all day long. It was so bad, I never ate anything for dinner at all. I fed the pups, and they "knew" "Mommie" was not feeling well. 

They cuddled up with me on the sofa, and would not leave my side. of course today is the 2 year anniversary of my Mom passing away. In my mind, I've played over and over what our doctor we saw, usually had our appts on the same day, used to tell her. He would say that she was going to "outlive" him and I... not that he meant that "badly"... because of course with my health issues, he knew that it was a true statement, but he wanted my Mom to pull herself out of where she would "think she was too old for this, that or the other, so it was his way of telling her at the time "health wise" Mom was much more "healthy" than many of us. Yet, although she was, never did he even believe how quickly she went downhill when the Lewy Body Dementia hit.


 I had seen signs for a while, before she really got so bad. Here and there, being forgetful, losing things, not recalling events, yet of course at 80 years old, heck at 40, 50 and 60 years old many of us are "forgetful"... I blame the "world" we live in for the stress and strain, the toll our minds and bodies take these past 25 years or so... things used to be so much simpler, it seemed the "burdens" we have now, were not as they were back then. 


From the selfish ways many of us have abused our water, land and air, to technology that in ways is wonderful, yet in ways, it has caused families to not spend "time" together... kids and parents on their phones, the computers, playing games, you name it, we tend to "have something else more, better, important, than a family meal together, or a quiet night without a TV, phone, or computer. I realize that NOT everyone has given up what family time is, and it seems that some have tended to "go back" to that time... when everyone was at the dinner table, no TV, no phones, just dinner, and asking one another how their days were. I had those all my younger life... and until my kids were well into being teenagers, for the most part we also spent nights together, around the dinner table, talking to each other, and caring. I know that has carried on to my daughter and her family. Of course we are "busy" but for the most part, her children, husband and her spend their dinner time together, sharing in one another's lives. There is so much that I think about when i think of my Mom... 


Mom never "gave me crap" about tattoo's, belly rings, tongue rings... she may have not agreed, but, she knew that I had my own personal reasons for all of it, and she was never one to put me down for making those choices. Mom spoke her mind though... anyone that knew her, knew that what came out of her mouth, was her personal thoughts, and she expressed them. Not that it was always "in a proper place" or said in a "proper way" but it was Mom, and you had to accept that part of her. So often, she was overly concerned about my health and me. Sometimes to the point I think she worried herself way too much. 


But, she knew the pain and suffering I endured, mentally, physically and emotionally, and many times she told me, she could never "brave" what I went through daily. Yet, I always told her, that she need not worry, I am a survivor, and what is, what happens, why it happens, I don't know but I do know it serves a purpose. She was so proud of me... when I went to college and worked full time, and took care of my home and family, she was my greatest fan! She urged me to oil paint, and especially all of my poetry and writing. When I published my first two books, she cried tears of joy, for she always knew I had something very special, that gave me the words to write, and how much I touched the hearts of those around me. She was always the one to encourage me, whatever it was, she knew I could do it. LOL, so often she told me I should have went to medical school. I would have been such an asset to many as a doctor, or in research. 


When I got to go to Washington DC with the Arthritis Foundation, that was a moment that she also cherished with me. My walls around my desk are covered in the awards, the recognition, the paper clippings when I had an article in our local paper. The Proclamations for Lupus, for RA, signed by our Mayor and some signed by our Governor. Mom was my best friend, after I was alone, she became the one that stood with me, that talked to me, that helped me carry on, even though I was in such a mess after being separated. She understood, because after Dad passed away, Mom was very frightened of what might happen. Coming back to TX was a ver difficult thing for me, I never wanted to leave Seattle, but she needed me, so I came back here to help her. I miss her every day, and even though Dad passed away n 2005, I still miss him. 



Often thinking to myself, that we would be fishing today if he were here. Or I would be visiting, or we may be going to the casino tomorrow if she were here.... all of the things and many many more that I so miss... from the little things to the small things, after the loss of my parents, losing my Pug Tazzy, and then losing Bub's after I broke my hip.... losses that cut right to my core, and then Jim no longer here... my world on some days seems so upside down..... So, Mom, I hope you know how much I miss you and Dad, and there are days it is s struggle... but I put ne foot in front of the other and try to----- carry on