We Tend to Hide Pain and Disabilities

Some disabilities show on the outside. SOME disabilities do not show at all. Those of us with many of these disabilities hide. We do not want pity, sadness, longing, and all of the things people don't say or do say, because they don't know what to say.
For me, I want to feel normal, look normal, and be treated as if I had no pain, no illnesses, no tears, and no fear. I DO have a long list of worries and doubts. I often look at Bella and see the love in her big, brownish-green eyes, feel her long, silky ears, and those beautiful, huge paws. If there is a love of my life, she is. When no one else is around, when the pain and heartache are nearly too much to bear, Bella is my rock. Some may not understand how a dog gives you courage and unconditional love and takes away the fears of what life can throw at us.
I'm having difficulty beginning a new book. I've listened to music nonstop, read other books, watched "Virgin River" and "Good Witch" again, and watched a couple of Christmas Movies for inspiration.
I realize that writer's block is temporary. I've been through this before. I have so many emotions running through my heart and mind about how my life has been a hot mess due to illness, loss, and all of the other things life throws our way.
Each of you with a disability, whether seen or hidden, YOU are perfect. YOU deserve happiness and a life fulfilled in every way.
I had so many plans, being a nurse, and I wished I had known more about Functional Medicine and how we can heal without some of the terrible Western medicine that has been thrown at us. I seriously considered taking a Functional Medicine class to help others. They are expensive, but finding one you can trust is a huge issue. As I delve into this new book (although I had a 2nd one written), pray that I can find my path to help others.

2025 Lupus, RA, and Life Happy New Year and Wishing Everyone a Well Year

 

I am trying to Updating my Blog and Finishing the Books I’ve been working on.

It has taken a while for me to get back into the habit of writing.

I have had so many issues with Rheumatoid Arthritis in my hands I have been struggling as to whether to begin dictating my writing rather than typing myself.

I recall not long ago when I actually wrote everything out long hand in ”journals”; which turned into what I transferred on the computer and thus became my books.  Much like “Stevie Nicks” who most know is my idol; she continues to write daily in journals of which some turn into songs. 

It’s been a long journey to get back to this place. Between doctor's appointments, finally getting a new Rheumatologist who is out of town about 25 minutes away,  beginning new medications, and I found “lumps” in the bends of my legs at the hip. I found out I have “inguinal lymphadenopathy”. I had an appointment with my PCP who told me what they were. He said most of the time they come from an infection somewhere in the body. The issue was I had no signs of an infection. He put me on an antibiotic for 7 days. It was at the holidays; so I waited to send him a message after the New Year.

Rather than try another antibiotic, he is referring me to a hematologist. Now the weather has gotten terrible. We are in 30-degree temperatures and the wind chill at 2 degrees this morning. It is supposed to continue for another 7 to 10 days and possibly get worse. Snow/rain is in the forecast for the next few days. There is no way I am driving even 15 miles in snow or possibly black ice on the highway. I may call and see how long it takes to get in to see him. I can also set the appointment for after this weather gets back to somewhat normal in the 50's or so.

My HOPE each of you are doing well. I pray this is a better year for many.

Pam Rhia Steele

Left Femur break - Update probably going to inpatient rehab a few days

Left Femur break -  Update probably going to inpatient rehab a few days

 I am making a decision to go in to inpatient rehab for a few days. My PCP is getting the orders ready. So, as soon as that is done, I will just go from home to about 5 miles away if that ti the same place that rehabbed my r. hip fracture in 2016. I am wearing myself out without proper pain control and the nerve pain and muscle have had me in tears for 24 hours.

I realize my two grown kids fear I could fall..and I am extra careful, and I do not get up at night etc, but I understand their feelings.

When I am there I will have my laptop etc...so I will try to keep in touch..The pain is excruciating. Which the surgeon told me it was one of the most painful breaks and surgeries. BUT, I tried... that was my main thing... needed to try and come home...

Thank you for the continued thoughts and prayers.. An extremely painful break and very painful surgery.