Talking about our own Advocacy work, activism, the GOOD you TRULY DO, & What makes "us tick" - all of us differ one to the other... and Chronic Illnesses and pain can create and reek havoc on us, as well as age....

I have a "surprise" for everyone, but I wanted to wait until our newspaper publishes it here locally, then I will post it on Facebook, in my personal newspaper and on my blog. I have a "Press Release" from a project, that is really a vital program for research in many different realms of chronic illnesses and/or pain. I've participated two times so far, after they "found" me. 

The 1st time, I guess we did not do a news release, but they have this time. I was so thrilled about it, because I always have to sign a NDA (non-disclosure affidavit) each year they ask me to do my part. I want to share it, not just because if it being "me" but MORE to show ALL OF YOU, HOW YOUR INPUT, YOUR ADVOCACY, WHETHER ONLINE, emails, a blog, Facebook, Twitter, or however you may help out when it comes to activism DOES MAKE A DIFFERENCE! I've done advocacy and activist items now for about 5 years, for different organizations and in different realms. Some of them, really in depth, like getting to go to Congress in Washington DC with the Arthritis Foundation, or posting blog articles, or my Facebook things that I read, post, and try to help provide viable and possible solutions for so many of us, that truly need to be helped, whether through knowledge (which believe me KNOWLEDGE IS POWER, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR OWN HEALTH, ILLNESSES, PHYSICIANS, SURGERIES, and all types of medical needs we step into during life.) I found out that although "some doctors do not like "educated" patients' MANY OF THEM are extremely happy to see patients taking an initiative to reach out, look for answers, make lists, ask questions, and not sit back and just rely on what our physicians tell us. 

LIFE and PATIENTS are too many and too busy, and our medical people NEED us to know all we can... so it saves lives, even our own. If you KNOW your medications, what you take, what you are allergic to, or have an idea about all of your medical issues, your surgeries and symptoms that are due to either a chronic medical illness such as RA or Lupus. Or if you are diabetic, you KNOW your own body, what you CAN eat, how to keep your blood sugar evened out, or other medications, know the side effects, understand when you NEED to call your doctor, OR when that side effect may not HURT you or even after a few days go away, rather than trying to call a doctor's office, and either stop the medication or go on taking it when something may not be right about it. I can almost go in when one of my joints, or my spine, or my muscles, or tendons (since MUSCLES CAN BE TIGHTENED BY EXERCISE) and TENDONS HAVE TO BE SURGICALLY REPAIRED OFTEN TIMES BECAUSE THEY DO NOT GET TIGHT AGAIN, LIKE A MUSCLE MIGHT...

That is why when you have a "torn rotator cuff" in a shoulder, you "may" strengthen the muscles, but if those "tendons" that make up the rotator cuff are too lax, or torn completely away from the bone itself, surgery may be the only option to get back mobility, strength, get rid of pain or much of it, and then strengthen the muscles after the tendons are repaired. You would be shocked and I know even ...

I recently began to totally "understand" the true difference between tendons and muscles. I "asked" the question, and my foot specialist explained it to me... like a rubber band may "stretch" like a muscle... but if it is attached to a board, and you actually tear it away from that board, no amount of exercise will give you back the loss from a tear. I now also realize WHY when someone TEARS TENDONS in their foot, or leg, it takes MONTHS AND MONTHS EVEN WITH SURGERY, to get that tendon "healed". It has to "attach" back to that bone. So, like my shoulders, or my left elbow the "severe tennis elbow" I had was "torn" away from the bone. My orthopedic surgeon attached the tendons back to my bones, with screws, nuts etc... BUT it took a long time for that tendon to actually "grow itself" back to the elbow, and often times, they don't attach back themselves, that is why, so often you never can do some of what you did with that shoulder, elbow, ankle, and so forth as you could at one time.

Before I broke the hip, I had just about made up my mind to try and snow ski one more time in my life. That used to be my "birthday present" the week of my birthday for many years.... but after the replaced knees, and the shoulder replacement, I felt maybe I should not chance "wrecking" one of them again. But, I had decided I would give it a try once more... and thought about making a trip to Santa Fe NM, I've skied there as well as Wolf Creek Pass that I LOVED! 

But Santa Fe has lots of new courses, and much more to offer than they once did, and it is about 7 hours closer than Pagosa Springs, CO where you stay to ski Wolf Creek. But, once the hip was fractured, I then knew there would be no way I would try to ski... not really because of the break of the hip BUT a fear now since my bones are so severely taken away with osteoporosis, my fear would be to "break" more bones, or another hip, or injure my back worse, thus my days of skiing are over with. I have great memories... and in fact yesterday when I was going through looking for the photo's with the fish, deer etc... I started to scan a pic of me, when the "big hair" craze was in... Gosh I wished I still looked that young.... ;) Alas time has become somewhat of an enemy when it comes to skin, aging, and how our lines, wrinkles and so forth seem to develop out of nowhere.....

Updates of Life, Illness, Fur Kids, and All that usually "happens" to me - I always have something "weird" going on.... so I wanted to tell everyone what's the issues for now

I can have more hell with everything! Damned, every time I walk outside, one of those red freaking wasps seems to come directly to me. Between those, and damned ants, and so forth, I feel like all I do is fight some kind of bugs in the summer time. I cannot believe I've been stung twice, and I got rid of 2 nests I found, but I know there has to be one somewhere out by my fence somewhere in the carport, or even built in one of the open spots in the fence gate.

Anyway, then a couple of days ago, I seen something odd over by my air conditioner unit (I have window units) and damned if it was not leaking in the house. Well, at 1st I know sometimes if the humidity is really bad, they will get pretty full of condensation. But, I even have "extra" holes drilled in the outside of mine and I went out, made sure they were cleaned out and nothing was stopping them up, and it was leaking even worse. I got concerned because even with a bowl under it, or a towel, it was dripping and running down the wall, and I feared it going into the wall plug and shorting everything out or worse. So, I only have that one, and a really small one room one, that I usually don't use in the bedroom. So, I knew that one "really" was not enough to keep the house all that cool, and this is already late yesterday, and I was just so pissed. So, I turned off the bigger one, turned on the small one, and put a fan in the bedroom door to pull the cool air into the living room... and then with ceiling fans on, it was "cool enough" that we made it fine, and slept without being hot. Of course this happens after it gets the hottest... not a month ago, when it was much cooler. So, I KNOW that both this larger unit here, and even the one at the other house are getting OLD... it would not surprise me if either of them go out, just because I know mine has to be getting close to 10 years old, and so is the other one.

This one already has lots of rust on it... and I know that it is going to have to be replaced. SO, I go out to WALLY WORLD this morning, thinking I may have to just buy one, and get my neighbor to help me put it in, plus the bigger one needs to be either in that bedroom window where it can keep the living room cool OR in a living room window but that means me moving a bunch of crap around to put it in one of those... so I think we paid something like 200.00 for like a 12,000BTU back then, and like 99.00 for a 5,000BTU one... DAMNED the 12,000 ones are 326.00!!!! I almost fainted.... and of course that is the only one they have right there in the store... they have LOTS more online, where I could pick... BUT I never thought until today looking at them, DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW THE PORTABLE UNITS DO IN A HOUSE? I know some people use them for like a garage but there are LOTS OF THEM ONLINE EVEN AT LOWE's and THEY CAN BE MOVED, thus I could move it if I needed to... I see you have to use a sleeve kind of like you use on a dryer vent to vent out the heat, so it comes with a "kit" to put in a window and some of them even do not have to be drained at all, they "use" the condensation.... others you can drain and so forth... lots to pick from but I would like to know if anyone has had any experience with a PORTABLE A/C BUT USING it DAILY FOR A HOUSE?  If you have, I would love to know how that works.... I mean of course once you have it set up, you would want to leave it due to venting the heat out of a window BUT if you needed to move it for some reason that would be a heck of a lot easier than a window unit...besides trying to keep a window unit clean, clear of stuff, and make it really "sealed" in is difficult to do, but it needs to be done so your air does not just leak out.... any thoughts or comments would be appreciated.... So, that is one issue... Now I have the pain for the kitchen, which the darker blue I posted I am doing the kitchen cabinets in, then I picked a much lighter blue for the walls, and thought I may use it in the bathroom since for now, I may NOT get that old tub out of there and have a shower put in...

I know to get that old iron tub that they covered in porcelin long years ago is a pain, and they have to be either sawed in pieces, or we broke this one with a sledge hammer to get it out... but it would be a big undertaking, then probably I would have to get the tiles down that are there now around the tub in order to put one of those two piece type of showers I am talking about it... so I may have to settle for the "bench" I bought already and then a really good shower head on a handle like I use now, and just try and get that tub as "clean looking" as possible. I got ALL of that rusty stain crap out of the toilet - that Lime Away took every bit of it out with a bit of letting it set and then using a "Magic Eraser" on it... I got just about every bit of it out... now I just need a new toliet seat... and the sink is yuck but I can live with it for now I guess... it is frustrating since I have my "big honkin shower/tub" that was expensive and we had to put together when it got here but that is okay... not that huge of a deal... So, I am trying to get as much painting done as I can, and then I ordered a floor "buffer" after seeing it was over 40.00 A DAY to RENT ONE, hell I bought one on Amazon for just a bit over that, for the hardwood floors... I will need it anyway, so to heck with renting one... but now today I have this "Smart Beat" Appointment at my Doctors office.

They have been trying to get me in to do it for months, but due to Mom, I've had to put it off until now... and I really DO NOT have the time to mess with it today, but decided it will "take the place" of having to go back through getting "testing" to have my neck surgery... which my surgeon would make me go back through before doing the neck surgery since it has been months since I had it all done... they may not do the Chest Xray BUT my Cardiologist can order it and the blood work, or I can have it done at Urgent care for cheaper than anywhere... anyway, so I have to do that at 2PM... and my Bub's, my Chiweenie, has nails that he totally refuses to allow me to cut, in fact at times we have to muzzle him even at the Vet, depending on his “mood"  anyway, he has one front paw that has been bothering him and it looks kind of swollen, so I figure it is those long nails either he hung that one on something, but they are awful... I know I let them go too long, but I just hate taking him because he just hates having them cut so badly.... but he is getting up older now, and he concerns me, because he just does not play and do like he used to... he will play some with the "Holy Terrier" Peanut, but Peanut is a total pest, all the time he wants "attention"... he is still on my "trial" list and I've continued to think if he does not "grow" out of some of this mess he pulls, I may have to take him back... anyway, if it is not one thing it's the other... my right ankle is still swelling up, if I am up on it for very long... and now for some odd reason it hurts... it had not really "hurt" very much, but the past 3 days all of a sudden it hurts... so I am not sure about that either... strange.... like me strange... okay, well time for me to get my butt in gear and go get this "Smart Beat crap" done... they do some additional tests on the heart and listen to the carotid arteries and so forth, since I have had heart issues... it is no charge to me... the insurance pays for it all.... so like I said I think most of it will also be what the surgeon wants done before my neck surgery... and then tomorrow I take Bub's in... but I have GOT TO GET TIME to freaking get on the painting! It seems it is something every day... I did get my new cell phone... so I am now a proud owner of an "I-Phone5" and I even broke down and bought a really nice case for it this morning.. hell I won't use have the stuff on it LOL....

A Few New Photo's for the "New Year" - My Wedding Dress (that I deicded to Wash myself 10 years old), pics of the fur-kids, of my Christmas Wreath, & a few other Misc....

A few of my Daughter and Grandkids, My 13 Sleigh Bell Christmas Ornaments, one for every year now since 2004, My Fur-kids, Peanut and Bub's, My Wedding Dress I decided to wash myself (I wore it 10 years ago last April 6th 2005) one of my Mom and more....

Being Thankful - Thanksgiving Day, the holiday upon us, and finding true spirit when you least expect it....

First of all Happy Thanksgiving to all of my readers. I am so blessed and thankful for those of you that follow my blog. I know at times, I don't post enough, and since my life has been in a chaotic time in the past several months, I feel as if I have let those down who follow my posts, and writing.

As I had said on Facebook, I am thankful for some things in my life, even though loss and grief have been troubling me now for a bit. So, I have had to really dig deep into my heart, to find out where the truest of blessings lie, and I have done that.

I am so very thankful that my daughter Amanda, her husband Jimbo and my three Grandkids were able to come up and visit, even though it will be short. I got to see them last night for a couple of hours, and as I hugged my daughter's neck, the tears streamed down my face, and I did not want to let her go. It's been over 2 YEARS since I got to see any of them. They live down by Corpus Christi, which is about 8 hours away or so, and with the boys in school and activities, both of them work now, and my Granddaughter is a Senior this year, they stay very busy. So, it was the best thing I could receive is getting to see them after all this time. I also got to visit with my son, who lives closer, but he also stays busy with a job, and his own activities, so he does not get down as much either.

I am thankful that it "appears" the two thigh abscesses on each thigh, the left one seems to be healed and closed in (hopefully this time it stays that way), and the right one, although not well yet, got a good report from the Wound Care Specialist yesterday. He seemed to think it was beginning to heal, he had to debride it again, which hurts like heck, but it seems to not be infected anymore, and the "collagen" Prisma, is helping to heal it and keep it from getting infected again. So, I am thankful to know that those may finally heal, and be behind me very soon. From there of course, I face surgery, to take out this "motor stalled" pain pump, and put a new one in. I was hoping to have that done the end of next week, BUT, I see the wound care specialist next Thursday, so I am not sure my Pain doctor is going to want to do surgery on Friday. It may be until the following week, which sucks... I really wanted to get it over with BEFORE then, so I can be healed for Christmas. Which is not that huge of a deal, as long as I don't develop a "spinal headache" again. Last time, where the catheter attaches to my spine to put the medication into my spinal fluid, did not seal completely and a tiny hole, can cause a leak in the spinal fluid, thus a spinal headache from hell ensues. And they are horrible. I could not even lift my head from the sofa for 5 days. I drank enough caffeine for an army. I was drinking Caffeine drinks left and right, so it would seal itself over. Thank goodness it worked, and I did not have to go back for surgery, to have a "blood patch" put over the hole. Thank you "Star Bucks".... I got to have as many of those as I wanted for a couple of days!

I am thankful to have my Bub's with me. He and I have a small Thanksgiving feast just for us ready to heat up. I made a small portion of stuffing, of broccoli and rice casserole, of sweet potato casserole, & I had a couple of rolls I bought this week. Plus even though I love home made cranberry salad, we shall settle for it out of the can today. And I had made a strawberry cake with a bit of a twist, it has strawberry preserves in the middle of the layers, and then the frosting is whipped in with cool whip, so it is much lighter. And my daughter brought up some of her incredible pumpkin roll. So, I have a couple of slices of it also for dessert..... nothing fancy, and I am not making a huge bowl of anything... now days I can't eat a whole lot at a time, and Bub's does not need to LOL...

Plus, I "suddenly" had a new person appear in my life in the past couple of days. It was a friend request on Facebook, and I said yes... and wow, talk about someone out of the blue, "fitting" the friendship values, that I do. It was totally shocking, and I certainly was not looking nor expecting it. But, we seem to have a great deal in common, even born the same year... ;)

So, as this year starts to wind into the holidays, and then quickly fall into yet another New Year, I hope and pray things are BETTER, for 2016! It is more than time for some happiness and sunshine to reign down upon my shoulders, and others also....

Plus, as I said on Facebook, I intend on finishing my 3rd book in 2016, even if HELL freezes over....

As the days go by, and nothing else to do..( a line from one of Stevie Nicks songs) - so I have the new boots, the jeans are on their way, now if I can just get the courage up to go out, and get the heck out of this house... I am so sick and tired, of being either here, at Mom's or at the doctor's offices...

Thank goodness I am no longer having to "edit" my own conversations here, and posts. I can say what the heck I please, and if it offends someone, then I guess it does... they can get over it, or not... just saying...

Nothing huge here today, other than a new person, hopefully someone that shall turn into a friend as I said "suddenly appeared" out of the "Blue Clear Sky" as George Strait's songs goes...

Alas an email that made me "feel awesome" about myself for a change... honestly, I thought I had lost all of the "want to" of finding friends again... but that is not true... it is just taking awhile to move past the pain, grief and loss... loss of something I knew for 13 years of my life... and suddenly within a day, it all disappeared... almost as if it never existed... and I STILL DO NOT KNOW WHY??? And I have given up asking... I feel it is futile to "beat a dead horse" as the saying goes...

Living in the realms of "why" is no way to live... why did this person leave? why do I have to do chronically ill? why does everything fall on my shoulders?, why can't life just let up and be a bit easier?... why why, and more why's... and they can haunt you like a love that has all but gone and disappeared... and there is no real answer only questions of the heart remain... tis the story of life and love... you either "fall all in it" and hope that it is forever... or you spend your life totally alone and in misery....

Alas, I prefer NOT to live in misery.... not if I can help it.... So, I bid everyone an incredible holiday weekend, be safe, take care, and always look for that shining star to guide you through even the darkest of nights....

Moving Past "Loss", now I face another specialist, a "wound care specialist" and trying to survive from autoimmune illnesses, and all that comes with it.... more also about the accident...

There were a couple of my friends who posted on FB to me, and this is what I wrote there in regard to some of the things they mentioned... in the days to come, I will reveal much more about this accident that has totally destroyed more lives than anyone knows... and how I see that in the end, those who harm others knowingly, and then lie and cheat... later do get what they deserve... and as from personal experience, I never have to do anything... life takes care of those people in its own way and time.....


I almost feel like I've had to "begin a new day of my life" over and over and over again, almost like "Groundhog Day" the movie... where each morning you wake up, wanting things to be different, to move ahead, to break from the stagnation of all of the bad stuff, the illnesses, the sadness, the grief, the loss, yet it remains... I am trying so hard to get well! I desperately want to get a new pup for myself and for my Chiweenie Bub's.. He is just now beginning to show signs of being "happy" again. He is eating much better, he is bringing me his toys, like last night, he brought me one of his latest "babies", I have called them their babies... and he wanted me to play with him... he had not done that for months and months... between Jim leaving so suddenly, then us losing my Pug Tazzy, who even though at times they appeared to be a bit of rivals, he misses her so much.... and he also "fears" I will leave and not come back. I see it in his eyes, when I tell him I have to run errands, and I will be back soon.. and then when I come home, his is almost crying, standing at the door, and I can tell he is so relieved I am home again... I've really tried to give him even much more love and attention that before.... just so he knows I am not leaving him.... but I feel with the right new "fur-kid" he will once again have a playmate, and someone here to keep him occupied when I have to run errands.... and that of course is just the "top" layer of many layers of life... almost like these two "holes" in my thighs... so many "top layers" of my skin look like they have "eroded" - and it is one frightening sight to say the least... I am also extremely concerned about Jim and his own mental and emotional state, after such a terrible let down with the trial.... ALL OF US AGREE even our lawyer that their were "lies", "people were paid off" to lie, and the driver and owner LIED under oath.... and then I still question the "jury"... there was something terribly wrong with them... I saw it, and I was only there a couple of hours... but I saw it in their faces, and it was almost as if they had made their minds up even before the trial began... a "corporation" again us "individuals" and if they are "dirty" then they could care less about the lives that have been destroyed by their own employees recklessness on the road, his driving while TALKING ON A CELL PHONE, and on so much more... BUT THEY have to live with themselves every day... and if they have any "heart" and maybe they just do not... it will be a burden they carry around forever and to their own graves. I do know from doing a search online about the company, that they have lots of "not satisfied" customers, who say online they have lied and cheated them... so that tells me enough, plus they were TOO SURE through this entire mess, they were not willing to budge an inch, offer a settlement etc... because they PAID OFF people to lie... no way, no how these "so called" witnesses, "seen" that accident, where the car was, whether the hood flew up or not, and I've said it all along.... those people were "found" before I even got the police report and paid to lie... I know it in my heart, I just cannot prove it.... so let them stew in their own deceit... what goes around.... definitely shall come around... I have watched it happen way too many times... I never have to do a thing, but sooner or later those who harm others lives, do pay a price....