Showing posts with label Bub's. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bub's. Show all posts

Friday, January 27, 2017

After Surviving Two More SURGERIES, fractured hip 2 places, a Hematoma Softball Sized, and my 1ST TRIP out by myself in over 6 weeks!! And Mourning The Loss of By Precious Fur-Baby!

I came in from my 1st TRIP out ALONE earlier this afternoon..made it to the market, to my pharmacy, & to pick up the Angel that ever's had given out in a celebration of our loved ones who passed away last year. I missed it due to the fall resulting in the fractured hip, then another surgery to remove that softball sized hematoma. One of the women at the market, knew what happened, because she was buying groceries also, and came to me, hugged my neck and told me just how much pain I've been thru, that she said she could not be as strong as I have been. I hugged her back, and told her, that inside, you "find" the strength, and from "above" to help you to try and heal, to try and regain your own life, even though the loss has been tremendous. So, I got home, & Peanut was waiting for me, I let him out of his "carrier" (he love the thing and gets in it all the time himself... as I carefully brought one sack at a time in up my front porch that has only two smaller steps, and began putting them up, 

I went to put up some dog treats, and all of what happened that night with Bubba Gump came rushing over me and through me, and I had to come to my desk, as Peanut knew I was upset so he is sitting beside my deck, on the sofa.... so I opened up Bub's beautiful cedar box, and broke down and sobbed.... it is so hard to believe those few ashes, were once my sweet Bubby's..... 

I will NEVER be able to forgive myself, because I feel Bub's would be here, had I not been gone so long... he mourned himself, sick, and stopped eating and drinking, even though my son and my dog sitter were coming by each day to play with them and make sure they had fresh water, fresh food and clean paper...

 but I will never forget the night I held him so close to me, and talked to him, and kissed him, and he licked my face, laid his head on my chest and took a last breath..... all of these losses, are just about more than I can handle... Anyone that has "fur babies" or any pet they become attached to, and that pet attached to them, it is a loss of a family member if not worse. I just heard on the news last night, that a child will say at times, they love their fur-baby more than their parents at times... a pet loves unconditionally... and I know he is with Tazzy... and someday I will be with them, but right now it plain hurts....

Thursday, July 7, 2016

Updates of Life, Illness, Fur Kids, and All that usually "happens" to me - I always have something "weird" going on.... so I wanted to tell everyone what's the issues for now

I can have more hell with everything! Damned, every time I walk outside, one of those red freaking wasps seems to come directly to me. Between those, and damned ants, and so forth, I feel like all I do is fight some kind of bugs in the summer time. I cannot believe I've been stung twice, and I got rid of 2 nests I found, but I know there has to be one somewhere out by my fence somewhere in the carport, or even built in one of the open spots in the fence gate.

Anyway, then a couple of days ago, I seen something odd over by my air conditioner unit (I have window units) and damned if it was not leaking in the house. Well, at 1st I know sometimes if the humidity is really bad, they will get pretty full of condensation. But, I even have "extra" holes drilled in the outside of mine and I went out, made sure they were cleaned out and nothing was stopping them up, and it was leaking even worse. I got concerned because even with a bowl under it, or a towel, it was dripping and running down the wall, and I feared it going into the wall plug and shorting everything out or worse. So, I only have that one, and a really small one room one, that I usually don't use in the bedroom. So, I knew that one "really" was not enough to keep the house all that cool, and this is already late yesterday, and I was just so pissed. So, I turned off the bigger one, turned on the small one, and put a fan in the bedroom door to pull the cool air into the living room... and then with ceiling fans on, it was "cool enough" that we made it fine, and slept without being hot. Of course this happens after it gets the hottest... not a month ago, when it was much cooler. So, I KNOW that both this larger unit here, and even the one at the other house are getting OLD... it would not surprise me if either of them go out, just because I know mine has to be getting close to 10 years old, and so is the other one.

This one already has lots of rust on it... and I know that it is going to have to be replaced. SO, I go out to WALLY WORLD this morning, thinking I may have to just buy one, and get my neighbor to help me put it in, plus the bigger one needs to be either in that bedroom window where it can keep the living room cool OR in a living room window but that means me moving a bunch of crap around to put it in one of those... so I think we paid something like 200.00 for like a 12,000BTU back then, and like 99.00 for a 5,000BTU one... DAMNED the 12,000 ones are 326.00!!!! I almost fainted.... and of course that is the only one they have right there in the store... they have LOTS more online, where I could pick... BUT I never thought until today looking at them, DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW THE PORTABLE UNITS DO IN A HOUSE? I know some people use them for like a garage but there are LOTS OF THEM ONLINE EVEN AT LOWE's and THEY CAN BE MOVED, thus I could move it if I needed to... I see you have to use a sleeve kind of like you use on a dryer vent to vent out the heat, so it comes with a "kit" to put in a window and some of them even do not have to be drained at all, they "use" the condensation.... others you can drain and so forth... lots to pick from but I would like to know if anyone has had any experience with a PORTABLE A/C BUT USING it DAILY FOR A HOUSE?  If you have, I would love to know how that works.... I mean of course once you have it set up, you would want to leave it due to venting the heat out of a window BUT if you needed to move it for some reason that would be a heck of a lot easier than a window unit...besides trying to keep a window unit clean, clear of stuff, and make it really "sealed" in is difficult to do, but it needs to be done so your air does not just leak out.... any thoughts or comments would be appreciated.... So, that is one issue... Now I have the pain for the kitchen, which the darker blue I posted I am doing the kitchen cabinets in, then I picked a much lighter blue for the walls, and thought I may use it in the bathroom since for now, I may NOT get that old tub out of there and have a shower put in...

I know to get that old iron tub that they covered in porcelin long years ago is a pain, and they have to be either sawed in pieces, or we broke this one with a sledge hammer to get it out... but it would be a big undertaking, then probably I would have to get the tiles down that are there now around the tub in order to put one of those two piece type of showers I am talking about it... so I may have to settle for the "bench" I bought already and then a really good shower head on a handle like I use now, and just try and get that tub as "clean looking" as possible. I got ALL of that rusty stain crap out of the toilet - that Lime Away took every bit of it out with a bit of letting it set and then using a "Magic Eraser" on it... I got just about every bit of it out... now I just need a new toliet seat... and the sink is yuck but I can live with it for now I guess... it is frustrating since I have my "big honkin shower/tub" that was expensive and we had to put together when it got here but that is okay... not that huge of a deal... So, I am trying to get as much painting done as I can, and then I ordered a floor "buffer" after seeing it was over 40.00 A DAY to RENT ONE, hell I bought one on Amazon for just a bit over that, for the hardwood floors... I will need it anyway, so to heck with renting one... but now today I have this "Smart Beat" Appointment at my Doctors office.

They have been trying to get me in to do it for months, but due to Mom, I've had to put it off until now... and I really DO NOT have the time to mess with it today, but decided it will "take the place" of having to go back through getting "testing" to have my neck surgery... which my surgeon would make me go back through before doing the neck surgery since it has been months since I had it all done... they may not do the Chest Xray BUT my Cardiologist can order it and the blood work, or I can have it done at Urgent care for cheaper than anywhere... anyway, so I have to do that at 2PM... and my Bub's, my Chiweenie, has nails that he totally refuses to allow me to cut, in fact at times we have to muzzle him even at the Vet, depending on his “mood"  anyway, he has one front paw that has been bothering him and it looks kind of swollen, so I figure it is those long nails either he hung that one on something, but they are awful... I know I let them go too long, but I just hate taking him because he just hates having them cut so badly.... but he is getting up older now, and he concerns me, because he just does not play and do like he used to... he will play some with the "Holy Terrier" Peanut, but Peanut is a total pest, all the time he wants "attention"... he is still on my "trial" list and I've continued to think if he does not "grow" out of some of this mess he pulls, I may have to take him back... anyway, if it is not one thing it's the other... my right ankle is still swelling up, if I am up on it for very long... and now for some odd reason it hurts... it had not really "hurt" very much, but the past 3 days all of a sudden it hurts... so I am not sure about that either... strange.... like me strange... okay, well time for me to get my butt in gear and go get this "Smart Beat crap" done... they do some additional tests on the heart and listen to the carotid arteries and so forth, since I have had heart issues... it is no charge to me... the insurance pays for it all.... so like I said I think most of it will also be what the surgeon wants done before my neck surgery... and then tomorrow I take Bub's in... but I have GOT TO GET TIME to freaking get on the painting! It seems it is something every day... I did get my new cell phone... so I am now a proud owner of an "I-Phone5" and I even broke down and bought a really nice case for it this morning.. hell I won't use have the stuff on it LOL....

Monday, February 8, 2016

I know It has been a couple of days.... from HELL! Life in the not so fast lane, as I plan to go to the Casino BY MYSELF ON THURSDAY! SHHHH! No Ones knows yet. :)

My Birthday is the 15th, and I am sick and tired of being at home, running errands, going to doctors, taking care of this, that and the other, and not getting a break, SO I MADE A RESERVATION (COMP ROOM0 Overnight at the Casino for Thursday night... could not get the 14th of course due to Valentine's Day and President's Day on the 15th....

Anyway, it has been one helluva weekend, Mom's phone has been OUT since last Thursday and it was the PHONE COMPANY'S FAULT and they did not fix it until ABOUT AN HOUR OR LESS AGO!!!! So, here she is 81 years old without a phone all weekend, well 5 days at least, so guess who had to go check on her everyday all weekend, and that is just the half of it.

I face my neck cervical possibly on Feb 18th, which is about the time I hoped for... right after my birthday!

Here are a few new pics of the fur-kids... the older one Bubba does NOT LIKE sweaters, even though he is so cold all the time, so it was a bit of a chore to put his on.,

I thought I would share a few with you....

Friday, December 4, 2015

Busy Time and Trying to Keep my Head on Straight, Keep the Brain Fog from setting in, getting closer to the pain pump reclacement surgery, the horrid, almost Unbearable Pain with my RA/Lupus, Holidays a NEW Fur-baby! and so much more....

New Direction for my Next Book below...

I have LOTS of things that are on a "deadline" in the next couple of days, but I wanted to share that a very dear long-time friend of mine and I were talking earlier this week, and we were talking about our lives, the younger years, and so forth. As I began to kind of "catch her up" on some things I really have never spoke about much, as far as how my "home life" was, I have an extremely controlling Dad, and I love him, and always will, and miss him even after 10 years since he passed away... but in many ways he, "stifled" me from "being ALL I wanted to BE"... his age, the times he was brought up in, his "views" on women, as far as college, careers... and as we talked, my friend said something that
inspired me about my 3rd book! 

I do NEED to tell my "story" about my life, even during my much younger years... especially as a teenager, and how much I was "kept" from doing all the things that the other kids in High School were doing.... he was more than overprotective"... and in many ways, it truly has "molded" my adult life at times... and it is a integral part of my life, and all that I've endured.... even the abuse later from an Ex-Husband (not my present one, Jim has never hurt me as far as abuse), but my daughters Father... anyway... all of that and more is a story that I should tell... for I am sure many others have dealt with the same things, yet they may not speak of it either... so I do have a NEW DIRECTION, AND A NEW VOICE, whispering me to make some additions, and/or changes where my 3rd book shall go... I think it will be something that many will want to read... Thank YOU, and you know who you are... I am so grateful that you have became once again a very dear friend.... whom I trust, and I admire...

The New Addition to our family - "my new fur-baby" Dennis!



Wanted to share a few pics of the new “fur-kid” addition Dennis, and Bub’s! I got Dennis yesterday evening, and brought him home for a “weekend trial”… but it appears they are already best friends… that is the most I’ve seen Bub’s play in a very long time! I think “if Mommy” me, can keep up with the both of them, I have my “Christmas puppy”….

Latest Addition of My Newspaper "All Things Autoimmune" - great article from pain, Lupus, and so much more!!headlines 


 A latest Pic of Rhia!!!!

Much other things going on... but I must run out for a bit... PLEASE keep an eye out thought... I have an EXTREMELY important post for everyone that I will put up later today or tomorrow!


Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Winter Weather and the Effects (Negative) on Bones, Joints, Pain, and Chronic Pain - Holidays, stress, and coping when Chronic Pain andor Illness Abound

Morning All! I thank each of you for "sticking" around, even though I have been somewhat absent over the past several days. I am still dealing with the "wounds" on both thighs, (abscesses) and finally see a "wound care specialist" tomorrow on Thursday. It means a drive to Dallas, but thankfully the weather has turned around, and we are supposed to have a few sunny days! I certainly hope so! The cold, damp, rainy weather does more to some than dampen their spirits, it can cause any type of bone, joint, arthritic, or chronic pain problem to escalate horrifically.

I have been dealing with of course NOT having my internal pain pump, which is already bad enough. Even with strong pain medication orally, they can't compete with the medication given from the pump. Then you add on top of that, all of the pain, stiffness and swelling from the Lupus, RA, other arthritic issues, and joint problems, and believe me, it causes a world of hurt, over and above what pain I already have.

I've read several articles lately on chronic pain. For the most part, I've been "aware" of just how badly weather has an effect on pain since I was 17 years old. Long before doctors would say "yes" definitely. I first noticed it with migraines. I was plagued with those for all of my adult life. In fact, they were much worse, led to me losing several jobs, because at the time there was no real answer for medications, for even why I had them, and facts that we now know about all types of migraines, were just not around back then. I also began to have joint problems, that even needed surgery by the time I was 21. After a severe knee injury that led to me having extensive knee surgery at the age of 15, and then another surgery on that knee when I was 21, from there I was also plagued with many problems with joints. I had several arthroscopic joint surgeries well before I was diagnosed with RA and Lupus.

I had an elbow, shoulder, and then another shoulder, wrist, and really needed another elbow surgery by the time I was 40. From there both knees has surgery several times, before finally having both of them replaced in 2007. In fact in 2007, that one year I went through 7 or 8 surgeries, related all to joints. Even the right shoulder, finally led to a total "reverse" shoulder surgery in 2011, and then cervical neck surgery, plus I face a lumbar/sacral surgery, that has been put off by other health problems.

But, I vividly remember how much worse my migraines, and then later joints would hurt when we had a huge weather change. I was in my doctors office many more times, or even in the emergency room with migraines when the weather "acted out".... a high humidity, very stormy weather, a drastic change from cold to hot, or hot to cold, sent me straight into more pain than I could deal with. At that time, there was little "medical proof" about the effects weather had on these types of health problems, but I cannot recall how many conversations I had with all of my doctors how about the weather had a dramatic effect on the pain level I would have.

Now, after many years, it has been proven with studies that it certainly does have a dramatic effect on the body, especially chronic pain and/or chronic illnesses. It is no different than when I had my 1st knee replacement, there are times, that "knee" hurts so badly, I would swear I never had surgery yet on it... but just like those who lose a limb and have "phantom limb pain" so is also true with those who have joint replacements. That is true for me with both knees, and my shoulder. There are times, especially during severe weather, that they hurt as they did before the replacements.

Holidays are upon us, and with the hundreds of thousands of us that suffer each and every day from some type of chronic illness, and/or chronic pain, holidays can prove to have a "mixed blessing"... when you have an illness such as an autoimmune illness, that already causes fatigue, and all types of symptoms, having a busy holiday schedule can definitely contribute to feeling even more fatigued, more exhausted, and the added stress often leads many of us to having bad flares, and even being hospitalized.

Holidays usually involve family. Like myself, with some of my family hours and hours away, that is sometimes the only time I get to see my daughter, and her family. So, we spend a great deal more time getting ready for family that is far off, or doing holiday baking, parties, and putting up decorations, planning meals, running and doing shopping, and all of the very things that can make holidays wonderful, but also make chronic illnesses and pain horrible in the process. We tend to not sleep as well, not eat as well, not take care of ourselves as well, and do way too many hours of overdoing it, thus leading to us feeling even worse than usual.

But, how do we find a "balance" when such times are upon us? That is a very difficult and almost at times impossible task... you can defer making a huge dinner, to going out to eat, you can order presents online, rather than running around 4 cities to find the right gifts. If you have a huge home, or are expecting a group to stay several days, rather than trying to do all of the cleaning and so forth, you could hire someone, or recruit others to help with those things. Or you could offer to help with a hotel room, or ask family well ahead of time if they would consider spending part of the time at your home, and then a day or two in a hotel. As difficult as that may seem, sometimes it is best for you and them. If you are too exhausted and overwrought in "taking care" of family and friends, then you are not able to "be there" in spirit and health to visit and enjoy the time together. With my home being so small, I just simply do not have the space for my 3 Grandkids, my daughter and her husband. When the kids were small they stayed a couple of times. But, after the kids getting older, and needing more space, a 2nd bathroom, and so on, they decided staying in a local motel here in our smI've made some adjustmall town was so much simpler for them and everyone. I realize that some may not have the finances to allow that, and other plans must be made. Yet, if you can at least take a portion of that off your shoulders, all can enjoy the time much better usually.

I know I have cooked many, many holiday dinners, all myself. I used to decorate every room, clean every speck of the home myself, and have all in perfection. But, as I began to have health problems, my "body" just became rivaled with fatigue, pain, and problems that do not allow me to do nearly as much as I used to. It is very difficult to contend with, and I surely know the guilt I feel even till this day about not being able to do what I used to... but you must accept those facts, and find new ways to enjoy family, take the burden off of everyone, so stress does not plague your enjoyment together.

I've made some "adjustments" already for the holidays for this year. Rather than try to get out of huge tree, and pull out all of the boxes in the attic with decorations, I "settled" for a smaller tree, that I put on my beautiful round table in the living room. I had many of my special ornaments and decorations in my camphor wood chest, so they were easy to get to. I took all of those out, and had plenty for the tree, plus used some of the other things to decorate the rest of the living room, as well as some in my office. No, it is not the huge tree I loved so much. But, it is a 4 foot tree. By the time I got the lights, and all of the special ornaments on it, and surrounded it by a few treasures around the house, it is simply beautiful. Plus this is the 1st time I can remember getting my tree up well before December 1st. I usually wait till the first week of December to put it up. But, I went ahead and bought the tree, and since I had it, I went ahead and spent a bit of time a couple of days finding my other stuff, and then decided to go ahead and put it all together. In fact, I just found my crystal candle holders, and got them all out and cleaned them, so I could get the candles in them with my candle rings. All of it things I had around the house. I need to buy a few more tapered candles, but I had 4, so that works until I am out sometimes later today to pick up a few more. Anyway, I have enjoyed the decorating this year almost more than some others. For one, because it is "different" but in a good way. For 2 I have not felt pressured to get it done, and have just taken my time, finding things to use from around my home. Even the tree skirt. I had some "quilted" white cotton, a piece I had in my sewing items. It is just big enough to make a perfect "tree skirt" and looks like snow, with the quilting and being white. So, I also have not spent a fortune to decorate. I did buy the new smaller tree, but other than that, I did buy a set of smaller lights yet even they were only like $2.00 at one of the local dollar stores, so I did not have to go into debt to have a wonderful tree and decor for myself and Bub's.

We are waiting to get our wonderful Christmas "miracle"! My hopes are that by Christmas we have a new fur-baby for our present this year! It seems perfect since Tazz, my Pug, who passed away a couple of months ago, was a Christmas present back in Seattle! She would be turning about 14 years old this month, around this time in fact! IT seems like yesterday we went to pick her out. I will never forget how she "bounced" up on the sofa and came running to me! There were still several brothers and sisters to pick from, but they put her up on the sofa, and she ran straight to my arms! I knew that instant she was my special gift! In fact, she is in her little locked cedar chest, with a prominent place under my Christmas tree right now. She shall always be my "greatest gift" as far as human gifts go... she lit up the room every time I walked in. But, Bub's and I have I think bonded even more since she passed away. We always had a "bond" but after both of us suffering through the loss of her, we seemed to grow even closer to one another. He is even more protective of me than he was, and he was always very watchful over me. So, I know both of us will be so thrilled to have a new addition to our home. It has not quite been "home" without Tazzy. Even though no other pup will ever take her place in my heart, I know she is happy, playing and will forevermore be a pup, and someday she will see me and run into my arms again, just like the very 1st time we saw each other! I painted her toenails that morning she passed away. The evening I picked her out, the lady painted a back toenail red, so I would know she was mine. So, I sent her to heaven with red toenails. I will know her without that, but I shall truly be so warmed to the core to see her run up and jump into my arms someday when I join her and my family members and friends in heaven.

Between the illnesses, the pain pump going out, the abscesses on each thigh, losing the trial from the accident, being "single" again without ever even expecting it, losing Tazzy so suddenly within 24 hours as I did, and trying to deal with Mom and her also having health issues, it seems 2015 has been another one of those very, very extremely tough years. I hope and pray that faith will lead me and my family, into a new, less stressed, better health time in 2016!

May somehow our nation and our world find peace and harmony!

And may each of us know and understand the true meaning of the Spirit of the Holiday Season...

With my love, respect, and may you find peace in your heart, and a well health filled 2016 also!