Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Optimistic Annual Feelings During The Holiday Season and New Year...

I had been thinking about a subject to write on this morning, and my first thought was how it absolutely sucks to "misplace" something. Later you are wracking your brain, and wrecking your home to find that one thing you thought you put in a "safe" place where you could find it! Well, call it too many things going on, chronic illness, old age, senility, Alzheimer's, or any other of the 1001 reasons we do these kinds of things, but it happens to the best of us. I usually "put" up something that could be a "special" item that my Mom may have given to me from my Grandmother, or Lord knows hiding a gift for a birthday and so forth. Then a couple of weeks later I go to where i "thought" I put it and "viola'" it is NOT there. It comes to mind for me since I have been on a rampage for 2 days now trying to find something that I truly NEED to find, but I am at a loss completely as to where I put it. So, frantically I am trying to recall my steps back then, digging through my "usual" hiding spots, every drawer, every cabinet, yet I still have not put my finger on what I need to find. I gave up and decided to ask my Almighty Higher Power to please allow me to recall where that place is, and see if that works.
Anyway, that was going to be the subject for this piece but alas, I made a decision, to write about another factor that effects us, all of us in fact for the most part. Yet, for those of us with chronic illnesses, and chronic pain it seems to be of even more importance. I am speaking of the "optimistic" emotional realms we have throughout the beginnings of the holidays, often beginning with Thanksgiving, until after the New Years Ball drops on Time Square. WE probably carry much of that on with us for weeks after all of the holiday hustle and bustle are over, but as the old saying goes, What Goes UP, Must come DOWN. Now, I realize some of my readers are thinking, I am not all all "optimistic" during the holidays. You think about the worry about traveling and your health, or all of the errands, shopping, and gifts to buy, with the lack of energy you have. You feel you may never get the meal on the table for the entire "brewd" of family and friends, the tree up and decorated, much less cleaning all of that up to enjoy a very wonderful New Year's celebration. Those things are all correct. Unfortunately, Chronic Pain and Chronic Illnesses do NOT give us a holiday break. Honestly, they can reek havoc with our "physical" state, if we do not get plenty of rest, not take on so much, learn to allow other people to help, cut out some of the gift giving and tell the family to bring dishes and help with the meals. We all of the ability in of course a hopefully tactful way of telling others or reminding them, that our capabilities physically at times are limited when it comes to too many things to do, and not nearly enough time to do them. Or at least for other to pitch in and he carry the load.
But, I am talking more of the "sense" of an internal, deep inside optimism, that only those with these types of illnesses can truly understand. We can feel the "magic" of the season. We tend to have "hope for a better tomorrow, and the day after. We wish for better medications and treatments for the upcoming year, less bad episodes and flares, we reach that plateau that we make those resolutions to quit blaming ourselves, to take better care, such as slowing down, learning to say no, and all that may fit your lifestyle in the upcoming year. If you are alone or lonely, we may have the hopeful thoughts of finding a special someone who can truly understand you. If not "the one", possibly a dear friend, who can be there with you, whenever you need that shoulder to cry on, or that hand to help you off the floor when you fall. I know for me, I may not tell anyone, but I do have that hopeful optimism, that I will have less pain, less side effects from the medicines, possibly have the surgeries do better than expected and be off some of the medications. I hope for better research, and that someone out there finds out what causes Lupus, RA, FM, CFS, ME, MS, along with the other hundreds of chronic and autoimmune illnesses out there, and then announces they know what, why, how and mostly how to eradicate it from those that suffer much to much, for much too long.
Chronic Illness and Chronic Pain, are very unique and much different than a "broken leg", ruptured appendix, etc. "Chronic" means just that, not "acute" in nature. Chronic means basically for the "rest of your life", on going, never ending. It shall be with you until you take one last breath, OR possibly if a cure is found, that you may be cured or at least symptoms get better. So, daily, when we awake, our first thought honestly, is "I am ill". That very last thought we when go to bed is often "I am not well". It has to be the most difficult idea to accept in anyone's life. Other things are horrible at times, and we all have those too. But, something that you or the specialists know little about, and medical problems that will remain with you every day, along with never knowing whether you will wake up "feeling okay", or wake up feeling so sick you can't leave the bed.
So, during these months when hope and faith tend to be much more "vibrant" and alive all around us, I know for me, I feel more alive. We must have some time in our "journey" of this space, and all of the spaces in between to "feel good". Yet, as many that take those good feelings for granted, there are twice or more than are here, that take each day as one that they, we, and I have survived, and we pray that night, we shall survive another day the next day. When you actually go to places such as online groups, blogs, journals, pages that are filled with those desperately needing to find like minded folks, that truly do understand that they are REALLY ILL!! I just cannot put up with a "professional" of any kind trying to brush off a patient with "you are stressed", "take a holiday", etc, and try to tell you it is all in your head. That is such a crock, and for any doctor to not open their ears and brains to listen to a patient should not be in The business of "doctoring" at all! But, we have so many people with these chronic illnesses that do not have doctors, family or friends, that they look for some way to deal mentally, emotionally and physically with these issues. All too often those closest to us, are the very ones that just "don't get it", or they cannot deal with or accept it. That is honestly a pure shame. Their are so many incredible people that are ill, yet they help others like themselves, which creates a wonderful bond for many of us. We give one another some advice, from what doctor we may have had luck with, to medications or supplements that may work, to just needing a shoulder to "cry" on through the "crying out" in words online as you read the pouring out of truly caring folks that shall support one another the best they can from around the globe. We have been given a special "voice" with the internet, and found a whole other way to communicate. It has become a viable and sincere life saver for many. I honestly feel that without all of the help people get on line through the social media's, Twitter, blogs, journals, groups, pages and the list of the way we can "touch" one another across the wire has saved many lives. Lives of those who may have given it up and tossed in their "golden token" for the last time, because they had no one there to listen and lift them up when they needed it.
Yet as a patient of Chronic Illnesses (I have several), and what was and still can be at times, horrid Chronic Pain, I do feel that "joyful" optimistic hope during the holiday time. I have a "renewed" vision of the year ahead, and I am thankful that I "hope" to be given that year completely and find that I am less ill, have many more better days that worse ones, less flares, more energy, and I am able to help others more than I have the years before.

My hope is that I am right about others out there. You do feel that internal, fire of optimism that burns deeply, keeping your light in this world alive and brightly shining for others to see. May you be lifted up out of the quagmire of darkness. I ralize that life is not an easy go for anyone. All of us have our "moments" of Murphy's Law, of sadness, heartache, and crap that just goes wrong. Yet, those with "chronic illnesses" and pain have a huge helping of more sorrow than those without in many ways. these illnesses effect every aspect of our lives, from jobs, family, relationships, to just daily living can be a hard thing to do.

I pray all will find that light... and may peace surround us, and the pain, affliction and suffering be eased, now, during the holidays, the New Year and all of the years to come.... Rhia

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