How do you DEAL with ALL happening? COVID,FLU on its way,possible West Nile,Lupus,RA,Pseudo-gout,Chronic Pain, & now a "Death" of an Ex-Husband... and the List goes on and on, Severe Anemia... & WHAT IS NEXT?
and where do I begin? After over 290 "handwritten" pages about COVID-19 & the entire ordeal.. still there are many more typed, put on Facebook, on my Blog, in my blog, my head, & daily they come to me, at night they haunt me... Do I feel "guilt", pain, suffering, shame, am I supposed to be pissed off? Or am I supposed to "feel Sorry... should I tell the story, or do I stay quiet? Do I try and get hold people & let them know. Or do I just allow it to play out as it is?
After so many years of supposedly him thinking we were the perfect "match" he suddenly "packs" what little he has and was trying to LEAVE BEFORE my Mom and I got home from an overnight trip! To this moment, as well as all others NO ONE KNOWS why he just "left"? 10 years of marriage, 13 years together... none of it made any sense... And I KEPT QUIET for WAY too long on the really horrible things he did and said, to anyone.
Here I was, chronically ill, with Kupus, RA, Sjogren's, osteoporosis, then Pseudogout & other issues turning my fingers "crooked" over one another. I was the bone that took care of it all, Although he "led" others to believe, even his own Mom, that HE DID everything! Bull!!! He barely cooked a meal every once in a while. from laundry, to groceries to cleaning, he did none of that..
So in 2016 when he just ups' and leaves that was bad enough. But, to NEVER come out with the truth... then in 202 only 10 days or so before his 60th birthday... he disappears... has even the law, out looking for him...b & they find him "deceased" in some stranger's apartment..or as far as his good friends from that area knew, he knew no one where he was found. But, "Meth" & many of you know my own night terror with someone close on Meth... he was a coward, chicken, & has no love for his family, what is left of it, nor his "Step-Mom" whom he had considered his Mom all his life. And the few friends, that some had no clue about one another... they are trying to get toxicology reports, and I suppose there could be an autopsy done. Since he was found without a bill fold, without his cell phone at 1st, he had no car, he had wrecked it a couple of weeks before... So, the "only" people that were close enough were out of town on vacation.. they did not find out till days after coming home. The law I guess finally found his cell phone to be able to try & find someone who knew for sure who it was.
I shall close this right now & give more as I find out, if I ever do...I feel for the few friends he had.. they will be totally in shock.