Tuesday, June 13, 2023

Chaos, Life, Love, Chronic Illnesses, and Chronic Pain...

Unless you have never used a computer; the internet, IP address... you couldn’t possibly not know how much people GAIN online. Friendships, long lasting relationships, new friends ...yes there are the "rotten ones" who try and screw things you do for people enjoying here or wherever life takes you.

It’s been nothing but, chaos, still in wars, spending budget of a TRILLION DOLLARS Ridiculous! THEN WE allow them to pull these stunts that are driving our good doctors to retire or not see certain Patients.

Due to the DEA and all on FDA, ALL of Congress & House of Reps, for legitimate chronic pain patients of all kinds. Ruining our lives, having no close person who has gone through this.THIS HORRIBLE, at times out of control pain is causing people with extreme pain, to find another opportunity or mode to help with the chronic pain.

I am so totally disgusted with ALL of our supposedly voted officials. They sure haven’t

HEARD THE PEOPLE! We are supposed to have many FREEDOMS!  Yet the government has a say over it one way or the other .I feel the ENTIRE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT need to removed ad we need SMART AND HONEST in D.C.

We; as a nation with all of these highly intelligent people in our 50 states; we could have the best…of the best. PEOPLE NEED THEIR FREEDOMS BACK!

It’s asinine what goes on in the Medical Community. What is so much more disturbing is just HOW deep along are just the the governments untold stories, the lies, the corruption, taking rights away of the people…..

It’s like an earthquake not showing at 1st. It’s the RUMBLINGS we Hear. THIS is ALL of our governmental  bodies. They are rumbling and soon huge fractures will divide many of us. I almost fear (not in my lifetime) another “civil war”…people are getting fed up. 

I’ve seen it, walked through it, bogged down in it, done it, regretted it, been there …literally wrote two published books and I’m working on a couple of new ones. If I look I probably have a T-shirt with it, journals full are filled and over flowing..I’ve been so bowled over; with you & it’s like the rushing water pouring over a waterfall….. fresh, pure, true.

I’ve not touched in this writing piece about my health issues, nor any other personal issues. I DO  and WILL share my journey…

It is long and tedious. It’s time taken away, surgeries, doctors, medications, side effects,  and everything in between.

Chronically Ill people generally have some type of “chronic pain issue” also. They tend to work hand in hand. It began for me when I was about 14 years old. I had my right knee torn up playing baseball with some friends. One kid used me instead of 2nd base. He slid into my leg and tore the cartilage in my knee. I had already had a tonsillectomy when I was about 11 years old.

As I work on finishing my “autobiography” it includes ILLNESS, HEALTH and so forth. It also WILL POUR out what else has happened to me even before the health issues. I have a “hole” in me…I have “scars” I can talk about now…

I’ve been so frightened at 14 years old that I couldn’t even tell my Dad. In fact, I couldn’t go to my Mom at first. I went to our next door neighbor. She was a nurse and like a “2nd Mom” to me.

I won’t go into details here; but I am sure although we didn’t have the term “PTSD”; that is certainly what I had.

Life has ebbed and flowed; it has almost drowned me, tormented me and ‘brings me down to my knees” …sobbing inconsolably. I have stood upon the top of one of the highest peaks in Colorado. I jumped what seemed like “STRAIGHT DOWN” from atop that mountain into snow over head deep if you ever lost a ski or lost your footing.  Those ‘double black diamonds” slopes were THE best! What a rush!

I never had one thought about packing up and moving to Austin, to California… I loved driving trips! I would get in my car, and drive half way from Seattle to Lancaster CA. I have a dear friend there. In fact I lived there about 4 months.

I drove from Phoenix AZ to Nebraska! I thought the drive from Nebraska to just South of Dallas Texas would be endless. There was literally nothing for miles and miles to see. Flat land, no houses, no place to buy anything. I felt like the world just maybe flat and I missed Texas somewhere the drive was so long.

Anyone who has never been to Texas…or you have not driven through Texas, it is one HUGE state. From North to South down to Brownsville and at the Mexico border is a days drive!

Already had 2 major knee surgeries before I was 22 years old. I also already had “signs” of osteoarthritis. Back then the doctors said it was an “old” person’s illness; young people don’t have arthritis. LITTLE did they know then.

I lived my life “bass ackwards” When I was a teenager I was at home, with my music, my writing, dancing, piano and I didn’t do what “normal” teenagers did. My Dad was extremely overprotective. When I was single; in my early twenties, I acted like a teenager. It really continued throughout my entire life. At times I do stuff most grown ups would be what the hell is she thinking? I have to laugh.   ahh…I shall continue……

I have a “soft spot” for others hurting. Whether it is a physical pain, emotional, mental anguish, or someone just needing to “vent” I am always “listening”, “watching” and paying close attention. After some of the things I waded through; my whole purpose I feel is to help others. 

I understand how it feels to NEED someone to just ”listen” let me ramble..and I am over it. You shall see me REALLY get a bit (more than a bit)  peeved when I feel there is an injustice happening to a person or a group of people.

It RIPS my soul to see someone mistreated. As many wonderful people there still are in this world; there are also MANY that have total disregard for others. You will see me come unglued at times; because I just cannot stand the thought of anyone being harmed in any form. 

I wear my heart on my sleeve. I cry much more than I admit. I am so soft hearted; I sometimes “forget” how cruel some people can be. That includes some Doctors and others working in the Medical field. I’ve certainly went through my share of doctors that should remember their “code”.. DO NO HARM! 

I have one that is who did my cervical neck surgery and he did my reverse shoulder replacement well before anyone else in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area. He is an incredible surgeon. But he lacks having a good bedside manner. He also does not like an “educated” patient. He and I got into it over a CT Scan of my neck before my 2nd cervical neck surgery. 

I said something about the CT Scan NOT showing as much damage as was in my cervical spine. He asked me if I was a “Radiologist”! I said “NO” but I know my body. Plus, every time I have ever had a CT Scan before a surgery, when they do surgery the doctors come out and say things were much worse than the CT Scans. He upset me so badly I got up, walked out sobbing. 

After he did the surgery, he came after I woke up and apologized to me. He admitted I was correct. I know he really did NOT want to admit I was right. But, he did. Of course, I am not an expert. I realize that many of us with “chronic health issues and/or chronic pain KNOW how we feel. We also have educated ourselves. We must watch out for ourselves the way things are now.

Everything is so much different than even 10 years ago. I used to go to one doctor who took care of most anything. I am fortunate to have an incredible Primary Care Physician.  I became his patient (one of the first) when he first arrived here. He is brilliant. He knows more about Lupus, RA, and ALL of my other health issues. I can send him a message through the portal and if he is in the office, I have an answer that day. 

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