In Reverence & Memory of What Memorial Day Truly Means...

Thought I would write today! But, knowing the weekend is a holiday weekend plus we have the National Annual Polka Festival here over this weekend also, and usually the TX Motorplex has some kind of drag racing special here also, town will be nuts!! With some of our town lost in the tornado last week, they have had to re-route the parade and cut it down much smaller that usual. No of the huge floats on 18 wheeler flat beds will be able to participate due to it now not being in its usual routed process. OF course parking will be a night mare!!!! Thus I went early this morning to get some of the things I felt we needed for the weekend. I sure as hell do not ant to fight off the crowds and traffic. We have lost lots of parking space, we lost many eating places, and even one of our motels took a huge hit from the tornado, and had its roof ripped off. Thus, I don't think anyone will be staying in that one. I do not think the other ones here had any damage to speak of luckily. Yet even as "bad" is ours was, it does not even compare to Moore OK. So, we cannot fuss too much. It does devastate some of our businesses though, because many of them rely on this one huge weekend, and then a couple of other big events through the year to really boost their sales and give them the cash to do other things, and keep things running for the rest of the year. So, those folks will be hurting, I am sure. Several of our smaller little eating places are in the very midst of where the major damage is, plus a couple of them also suffered lots of damage themselves. So, as this holiday rolls in, I hope we all shall celebrate and have fun, BUT also keep a reverent spirit, and be in prayer for those who have lost home, job, and some even family and friends. They do not know even where to begin to put their lives back together again. My hopes are that prayers are answered, and through those that can, they will lift up the city of Moore, and help rebuild it better for those folks than it was before... Be safe this weekend, think also of our soldiers, our volunteers, those who do things above the call of their duty for those in despair, and remember those we have also lost that have fought the battle to keep us all safe... Happy Memorial Day Weekend, Rhia

Letting Go.. Letting Flow... Trying to put the pieces back together again...

I am so totally thrilled over both books and want to talk about them. Yet, with all of the destruction going on around our nation and even right here in my home town, it is difficult for me to be elated over my newly published book, "Time Tattered Musings" - "Reflections through the Looking Glass of Pain & Wisdom". It is so full of things that "matter" in life, a great deal about chronic illness, pain, and how I have tried to overcome them. But, my best I feel is yet to come. I don't mean to "brag". That is not why I just made that statement. I said it because I feel my 3rd book will truly delve into my intimate journey of just how this illnesses and the chronic pain have changed my life in many ways, not all bad, not all good, yet I am still who I am in the "inner core" of me. They have not been allowed to destroy the person who I am inside. That is a hard thing to choose do to. I feel it is a "choice". You can absolutely "choose" to allow illness and pain to change you totally into someone you don't know. At times all of us "feel" that way. But, as a whole, you can also make a conscious choice NOT to have these issues change the person you are. That person who has snow skied, vacationed, been to other countries, painted, sewed, been with friends, helped family, volunteered, taken care of Grandchildren, gardened, been fishing, camped out, and you can make this list go on forever, yet you can know you are still that person within and without. What HAS changed is how you do things, deciding how to possible do something a different way, or allowing one idea or hobby to let go of, yet picking up another that you can now do, even with your disabilities from illness and pain. Yes, there are many of the what we used to consider normal activities of our lives, that we no longer can do, or we must do them at a slower rate, or possibly just had to stop all together. Yet, if you look closely, you can also find a new activity that will make you feel on top of that mountain, ready to shout to the world, YES!!! Look at ME, I CAN do this! I can be "useful". I can thrive, prosper, give back to others, and still be myself, even if I have to find alternative ways to do so. I shall try in my new book to relay that message to each and everyone who is suffering, who will suffer, who has suffered, or knows someone that suffers from all of the horrid chronic afflictions that "seem" to wreck our lives, much like the tornado's of 2013, have wrecked others lives in a different way. We often feel as if a wrecking ball has shattered us into a thousand pieces, that we perceive like we will never be able to put ourselves back together again. Yet, with love of self and from others, with a renewal of faith, with the guidance of hope, with our own "higher power", and with our own tenacity, we can do it! As saddened as I am by all that has happened over the past several days, I am bound and determined to persevere over all of the negativity that surrounds me, and tell it to "take a hike". I shall WIN!!!! And so shall you!!!!:) Rhia

Just Difficult to Fathom! Such Horrific Storms - Mother Nature's Power (5/21/2013)

Last week when my home town of Ennis lost a great deal of their buildings in down town I was just in disbelief! It was hard to imagine that within 4 blocks of us, so much damage occurred. When I drive through the main portions of Ennis where we can get it is just still difficult to think that we had a tornado. A great deal of our main street in town is all blocked off because it is not safe. Or the buildings themselves are damaged so badly they are not safe to be around.
Now, last night in OK, I see what else a tornado can do. They are calling it an EF-4, but thinking it is probably an EF-5 or MORE! There is NOTHING LEFT!!! The town of Moore OK has been completely blown off the map! IT is just like a bomb went off in that town and many of the towns around it. When I see the complete annihilation, as if a war zone was there, that makes me feel fortunate. Those people have lost everything! Including now at least 91 of their folks there, and 21 of them children!!! There are no schools left, no houses basically left, no stores left, NOTHING!!! Cars are gone, places people worked are gone, everything that you need to live a daily life is completely demolished and some of it blown away for miles and miles away.
One gentleman stepped out of his storm shelter with his family to see his home completely destroyed. As he began to go through the rubble, he found a little 2 or 3 year old girl, already deceased he knew. He called the EMT, and of course they told him she was gone. He said after they took her body away, he sat there and just cried his eyes out. He was thankful his family was all safe, but totally destroyed that somebody's little girl was dead, among the rubble of his home. Then there are kids they found at one of the schools, they think actually drowned. They could not get out of a place that filled up with water, thus they passed away drowning. It just sends chills down my spine.

The thought that the main highway from OK City that runs down to San Antonio, was shut down in a large stretch in OK last night. The town of Moore must be right on I-35 below OK City, and about an hour and a half from Thackersville OK where we go to the Casino. There very highway we travel on up further from where we go to that very Casino, was shut down in a large stretch. I cannot fathom all of the dilemma that caused, with it being a main corridor from way above OK City down all the way through TX!!!

I am sure all of you have seen enough pictures of the damage in OK, so I will refrain from putting those up, but I will put a couple up of what happened in my town last week. We are trying to put things back together for the National Polka Festival which is here this coming weekend. We usually have about 200,000 people here for that, Memorial Day, and usually something going on at the Texas Motorplex! One of the best drag racing facilities in this nation. So, the race to get things together enough for the parade and facilities is one hell "of a race"! Yet after seeing the situation in OK this morning, I feel we are so incredibly fortunate, I have no room to gripe. Even though we do have a huge weekend ahead, we have a brand new store opening this week, that thank goodness I don't believe took a hit anywhere, nor did the Motorplex, even though our parade route and the down town dancing and activities will either not be there at all, or will be moved into a strange spot, rather than the usual place, we are still so lucky!!!!

We are once again expecting severe thunderstorms this evening. Of course it is that time of the year. Yet, after seeing the devestation of the past couple of weeks, we are all in the place we want to see "this time of the year" be over.
Like my husband said today, after what happened here in our town a week ago, with an EF-1 tornado, then seeing the damage and horrendous path of something that looks as if a nuclear bomb went off in OK, and other places around TX,, Ar, KS, and some other mid-western states, we are now officially CONCERNED and frightened when a "warning" comes over the radio. You get extremely worried after you have been through even a small one such as here in Ennis. Then within a week you see what can happen in a matter of minutes with a tornado a MILE WIDE go through a town about the size of our county seat of Waxahachie, and it makes you very nervous.

So, everyone out there they may have never lived through this kind of weather extreme such as something that can come out of nowhere, be on top of your home, and city within minutes, when even with as much warning  system, and technology as we have, can sometimes not mean anything when it comes to a "perfect storm" the size of this kind, a mile wide, staying on the ground for 20 minutes, with winds in excess of well over 200 miles an hour, even with 16 minutes warning, there literally was no place to really go, unless you had a storm shelter to get into. This one actually pulled the door OFF of a STORM SHELTER & nearly took the people out of it!!!!

As I keep busy today, picking up tree limbs from crazy wind last night, and baking a cake, cleaning house, putting color on my hair, and everything else I can find to keep my mind off my pain and illness today, but also off the pain and misery of what the hellacious storms can do...

I pray that everyone stays safe..... Rhia

Time Tattered Musings is Officially on Amazon!!! Mother's Day and Tis Monday...

Well it is Monday. The weekend was very nice, but it sure flew by too quickly. We had a wonderful time at the Casino yesterday! I actually was the one that came out ahead!!! I usually "break even" just about or do, but this time I came home about 100.00 over!!! So I was thrilled. LOL, I did not even make too much of a scene screaming hollering either! Usually when I win a fairly big win on a pull, I go bonkers! You would think I won a million bucks! My machine was make enough noise due to me winning that I did attract several people to watch! LOL, I won a little over a 100.00. I went and cashed that in, put it up, then went back, put a 5.00 bill in the same machine, and won another 50.00! So, actually I won about 120.00 all together if you take off me paying for breakfast, etc. Mom had a great time also. But, she was kind of "off" yesterday. It worried me a little. I have been noticing her having some issues with memory, being forgetful, and just some things that concern me. My Grandfather, her Dad, had full blown Alzheimer's. He got really bad the last few years. Then her Mom, also had Dementia, but it was well up into her 80's. Mom is going to be 79 in August. So, of course some "forgetfulness" is expected. Hell! I am terrible lately about lists, and needing lists for lists, and still forgetting stuff and I am younger! :) But, there are some things that just truly give me more of an impression her problems being a little more than just getting a little older and forgetting. She did not take her Casino PLayers card, and she always gets it. She forgot her watch, which she usually takes it. She got to the Casino, and we did not get in good, until she told me, she felt "turned around" and just lost. Well, it is HUGE!!!! But, she has been there enough to kind of know her way around usually. We try to stay somewhat close to each other, but often we wander off, and always have a time to meet at an exact place, so we can check on each other, and see what we want to do from there. So, we were supposed to meet at 4 in the afternoon at our entrance. Well, Jim and I went a little early. I had won and I did not want to spend any of that, LOL, so we decided to just go and get close to the door and wait for her. So, we were about 15 minutes early, but she usually shows up a little early also. But, 4 pm came, and she did not show up. So, we thought she may have lost track of time, or had not asked someone for the time yet. Or maybe she had trouble with a machine and was waiting on someone to come, or she usually goes to the Cashier window rather than using the machines like we do to cash our tickets in. So, we figured it was one or all of those making her run a little late. But 4:15 came and she still did not show. 4:30 came and went, and I told Jim maybe she thought we said 5 rather than 4. Well, about 4:50 she comes walking up. She again said she did a little lose track of time, but again she said she was totally turned around and almost lost as to how to get back to where we usually meet. Well, that really concerned me. Again she said when we got to the car, that she just had an "off" day from even when she first got up. So, again I am going to have to observe somewhat even closer that I have been. I really worry about wither Alzheimer's or Dementia, because of her "symptoms" and the fact it certainly runs in her close family. Anyway, we got home and the dogs did pretty good! Our house was still in one piece, LOL! But, we were totally worn out. Between getting up at 3 am, the drive there, all that walking (OMG I bet you walk 15 miles in a day by the time you go from one end to the other a few times), and then I drove home. So, we were tired but again it was a good Mother's Day! I hope all of you equally enjoyed yours! Of course my book is on Amazon.com now. It in the the paperback and the Kindle sections. You can look inside the book already on both! Here is the link to the paperback:
http://www.amazon.com/Time-Tattered-Musings-Reflections-through/dp/1481920642/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1368447836&sr=1-1&keywords=time+tattered+musings


They have my "name" kind of messed up so both books at the moment don't come up together under my author name. I have an email into them to get that fixed. But they are both there. My 1st ones should arrive around Thursday!!!!! I am so totally thrilled! I am also ready to begin my 3rd book! When I get it started, I will let all of you know what I feel the title will be.

Hugs, Rhia

Happy Mother's Day!

For all of those out there that are Mom's, Grandmother's, Great Grandmother's, & even Great Great Grandmothers, Step-Mom's & all women out there that are in one way or the other a "Mom", I commend you! Being a Mom is a huge and never ending responsibility. WE must have patience to endure it all, from the feedings in the night, to the bumps, bruises, & broken bones along the way. There are the wonderful grades that come in, and the not so great test scores. All of the soccer games, and running around as a Taxi for years. There are the graduations, and moving onto being a wife themselves, in which you never "quit' being a Mother. No matter how old you get, how wise you may think you are, always whether you are 5 or 50 you need your Mom.

So, today in Honor of so many women out there, the do incredible things dialy in order to raise a happy, healthy and successful child or children, may your day be filled with all of the goodness, happiness, and love you give every day of your life.

Thanks to my Mom for all she does for me, even today... as we go to the Casino for her, and for myself as a Mom, to celebrate this special day, I pray she knows just how much I love and appreciate her! Even though we sometimes may not see "eye to "eye" on things, that love and expression of honor always remain.

Rhia

Time Tattered Musings "Reflections Through The Looking Glass of Pain & Wisdom" 2nd book officially published!

Well, not even thinking about it, I officially got my book proofed and ready for publication yesterday on the 10th of May 2013, on International Lupus Awareness Day! Since this is Lupus Awareness Moth, I really wanted to have the book completed and out by the end of the month. But, with the huge help of my spouse Jim, with the set up of it all so it would be in the correct format to print, and help with proofing etc. I made the "deadline". It was my own deadline that I sat in January this year for my main "Resolution". But, when things began to go awry in late January from the massive acute pain in my legs, the "flu" that lingered for weeks, then the double vision, all of the tests, doctors, and even the biopsy on my Temporal Artery, I was not sure I would make the May deadline. I would have been content with June or July, when all of that came up.
But, with faith, and hope, and help from family and friends, through their well wishes and prayers, it is now out!
PLUS, the best news is that Jim and I were talking day before yesterday and we were talking about this book, and my next "book-book" as I call it. It will be my "autobiography" kind of, I really don't like calling it that, but I guess it is sort of what it is, my journey through all that this horrendous illnesses have done to change my life, through the good, bad, and indifferent, and how I want to lift others up and let them know anything is possible, if you truly keep your faith and hope alive.

So, it is already for sale on createspace. It will be available on Amazon, and also Kindle Amazon soon. It may be already on Amazon in print. I'll check. Here is a picture of the front cover.

Her is the URL to createspace.
https://www.createspace.com/4057332

I am so honored to have this 2nd book out. I never thought in my wildest dreams I would have my 1st one published! That dream came true and I was truly satisfied with that. Yet, I felt I needed to tell more of my story for all of those our there suffering from these illnesses and pain. Thus, my 2nd one was born. Now, I know the 3rd one shall be coming. It maybe a longer length of time before it is ready, but when it is meant to be, and if, then it will be. :)

Happy Mother's Day to All of the Mother's out there!

Rhia

Lupus Awarenes Month May 2013

I really need to make another effort to push my 1st book again. It is dedicated to those with Lupus, their caretakers and family, and all of those that support us with this horrid illness. I am coming to the realization that the "Wolf" secrecy in the way it effects our lives, our physical bodies in so many ways causes havoc for us and our doctors. I was at my physicians office early this week, and had a very long, and very worthwhile visit with him. In fact both my husband and I went for several reasons. One of those was due to the fact I have had this "abnormal" blood test now going on for several months, seemingly related to the double vision, and the marked weakness and pain the my lower legs, and from my elbows to my fingers. The weakness in both arms and hands I began to notice just a few weeks ago. But the pain in my lower legs has been there now for months. Some days so horribly bad even on all of the medication I am on, that I could just sit in the floor, cry, and rock. Yet, I know I can't do that. I have to just move on, through the pain, even though it is as bad as it is at times. Back to the visit. As we talked about the blood work, possible medications that might causes this issue, and why it needed to not be there are all but basically "normal" would be none in the blood stream. Mine is way above none. The subject of course since part of this visit is about my Lupus, and other AI illnesses, is just how complicated Lupus is, and just how very little, or how much it can effect someone physically. As he said some have a small rash on their skin or face, and that is all. Others could have any and all of heart problems, kidney, lung, liver, stomach, muscles, joints, skin, eyes, in other words almost everything on the body for some can or are effected. Thus that makes for a very difficult patient, when numerous systems in the body are effected, and trying to treat all of those, then can run into medications have unwanted effects, or them not being something that should be taken together and so forth. For myself, it also means, like many, any of the smallest of infections (as I has on Monday) can go from very minor to putting me in ICU overnight. My body is not able to fight off things like someone with a normal immune system. So, as I found out, I have a kidney infection. That is why I ran high fever Monday. For anyone else it was fine to wait until Wednesday to see the doctor. For me, I really should have called and been saw immediately due to the high fever. Fortunately, I knew that, but I also knew what to do to try and get the fever down, so I did that. When it stayed down on Tuesday, I felt fairly confident I could wait until Wednesday to find out what was going on. But, I also knew if the fever had continued or gone up, even in the night, I had no choice but to go immediately to ER. So, someone with these types of autoimmune illnesses are always on "watch" on guard for something that others would not be as concerned about. A cough for a normal immune system, may be able to wait a couple of days, but a cough depending on other symptoms, especially any that indicate infection for a compromised immune system means DO NOT pass GO, and GO straight to your doctor or the ER. Back to my post now, thus I really need to push this book, and I am trying to decide if I have enough for my 2nd one to be published now. I have less poetry, but I have many prose that will be 2 or 3 pages long for each one. So, even though I have less in number of pieces the book still will be over 100 pages in length. Plus many of the "prose" pieces that are not in this 2nd book yet, are ones I am going to use for my 3rd book, which will be a sort of autobiography about a look into my life and Lupus, illness, chronic pain, and how I have sustained being here without being insane yet. So, I am in a place of a deciding dilemma at the moment. I plan to get through what I have ready for this next book again over the weekend, and make a decision. If I feel I have enough material in it, then I will begin to ready it for publication. That will mean I make my DEADLINE on "Tattered Musings"!!!! Keep my in your thoughts and prayers as I decide what to do, and how to handle this 2nd book. I have a couple of things I learned from the 1st one that will make this next one better I hope. I also have a "logo" that Jim designed for me, that I will be using. I am excited about that. Thanks so much for all of the love and support... and have a wonderful weekend!



UPDATE!!!!!!!

I have made my decision that I DO HAVE enough material for my 2nd book! "Tattered Musings" :) I think I am going to make my deadline of the end of May. Still have lots to do to proofread one or two more times, and get it ready for publication! But, I am thrilled I have made it. Thanks again for everyone that has stood beside me, hand in hand... for you help to make it possible also...