Reflection - Where were YOU on that fateful day or Horror??? 9/11 changed all of our lives and this world forevermore...

Gosh and 2001 had already proven to be one of the most hardest years of my life. On the 8th day of January 2001, I had a heart attack. That was about 10 AFTER the man I was married to for almost 18 YEARS walked in on Christmas Day 2000 ( he had been gone like usual and I had no clue where)... So, the kids, and some of their friends, were at the house for Christmas Day. When he showed up, he "threw' a present at me, said he was leaving, and probably would not be back, got some clothes and left. Everyone was gone that morning that I drove myself 20 miles to the closest ER. I had been not feeling well, and having some chest pain for the 3 days prior. I thought I may have bronchitis, so I called my doctor at the time. He told me to get to the nearest ER immediately. Well, I was "chatting" with a dear friend who lives in Malta, and she told me if I did not either call the ambulance or get myself to the ER, she was going to call from Malta, here to TX, where I was and have the ambulance come and get me herself. So, I promised her I would go, and thus got up and went there. As I drove, I put on my flashers, but did not want to drive too fast. I had no clue what my might while I was driving. But, I made it to the ER, walked in and told them about the chest pains, and they immediately and swiftly got me in a room, began an IV, gave me an aspirin, and started doing an EKG, blood tests etc... they also came in and gave me medication into the IV, that cost 2,500.00 for one dose... a bit later a doctor walked in and he told me that I had an MI, and that the initial blood work showed I could have massive damage to the heart muscle. I still had not called anyone to tell them. But, they knew me there at the hospital because I had worked as a Patient Rep there for 6 years, and one of the nurses told another friend of mine who was still there in the business office. She in turn called my parents, etc. They wanted to transfer me to Baylor in Dallas. But, they had to stabilize me first before they could. So, I was put in the ICU unit... I found out that $2,500.00 injection probably saved my life... it was one of the newer "clot busters" & it basically stopped the heart attack and prevented further damage to my heart. But, it was still unclear until they got me to Baylor via ambulance the next day. I HATE ambulances and hope I never have to ride in one again. I had already done that twice, and then after that I actually have been once again in an ambulance I think now 3 three or so... Anyway, as soon as I was put in a room in the cardiac unit there at Baylor, they began tests to see what was going on, how much damage, if I needed stents and so forth. So, they did an angiogram, which they put an incision right almost at the bend of my thigh and pelvis, ran wires up to my heart, where they could see what was going on.... well, I was of course awake, maybe a bit sedated but not much, and the doctor said something like OMG or something. I thought he had found something horrible, but he saw one of my main arteries going into my heart spasm... thus they felt that may be a part of the factor to the heart attack I had at 40!!! From there they discovered that the damage was minimal due to that injection, which was why at first the enzymes in my blood were so high... it stopped the damage thus allowed those enzymes to be rather extreme... I went home 7 days later, with ONE thing that shall always stick in my mind. I saw my cardiologist about 2 weeks later. He told me either I CHANGE everything in my life and do whatever it takes to get away out of the grips of whom was making me sick and hurting me... mentally, physically and emotionally, OR he would kill me one way or the other... so I went home, got myself together, packed what little I could after my 6 week follow up and headed for Lancaster CA. I had made a couple of friends there via the internet... and Aimee told me I could come stay with her and her Father, get a job, and I could stay there even after she moved into her apartment and have her room at her Dad's home. So, I did. I got busy trying to find a job... in fact for a couple of weeks, my "job" was to find a job. And I did. I was supposed to start one, and it got delayed because that company did not have their equipment, computers and so forth ready yet. So, I interviewed for another, and was to go to work that next week. In the meantime the place that helped me find the job, had a "temporary" job in a warehouse close to where I had been staying. I could work that for a couple of shifts until I went to work that Saturday at my permanent job. Well, in the process of cleaning up shelves and so forth in this HUGE warehouse, I knelt down on my "bad left knee" and I felt it immediately. I had torn more stuff and damaged it. I had to leave the pain was so bad, and by the next morning it was swollen so much I could barely bend it... But, I worked that Saturday at the new job, loved it, and my thoughts were to stay work long enough to get on insurance, and have the knee seen about. But as that day wore on, my knee got worse. That Sunday, I made the difficult decision and had no choice but to get in the car with my stuff and come back to Texas. I was still covered by the insurance that paid for the heart attack. I got back here and within a week had seen an Orthopedic Surgeon, had an MRI, and was having knee surgery. From there I got "better" and went down to Austin to find a job. A dear friend of Aimee's lived in Austin, so I was staying with her and her boyfriend... I had found a job, and while I was there, I exercised, walked, and did house work and so forth for her, and got in much better shape physically. So, my plan was to actually move much closer to my parents and to the kids, so I decided Austin was just not where I needed to be... so on September 11th, 2001 I was in Ft. Worth TX, heard something on the radio, and turned the TV on to watch the 2nd plane hit the 2nd World Trade Center Tower... after that everything was just nuts.... I watched for hours and hours that horror unfold... I could not take my eyes off the TV... and I called my Mom and Dad, because at the moment none of us knew exactly what could happen... so I tried to get hold of everyone to tell them I was safe, and check on them. I made a brief stop back in Ennis, and then is when my life entirely changed for the better. In the back of my mind, was that voice of my Cardiologist, get out and away from "him" - speaking of my now ex-husband or he is going to hurt you in one way or the other... thus on October 31st, Halloween Night, 2001 i got off the bus in Seattle WA, which totally gave me a new life, new job, new friends, and I was "free" of the abuse and horror that I had been through for years in TX. I filed for a divorce before I left TX, then flew back later to "seal" it in front of the judge. For 5 years there in Seattle, I cannot begin to tell you how much I changed, I grew stronger, I had more faith in myself, I made my own decisions, I loved my job as an Apartment Manager, and even bought my 1st car, that was my own. From there the story goes on, moving back to TX 5 years later due to needing to be here for my Mom and kids... but to this day, I shiver at what I saw on that TV, and witnessed the bravery of many who risked their lives to save others.... I am sure for many of us, there is a deep scar in our hearts, that still remains after that day of horror... and now we live in a MUCH different world for sure.... we have to be diligent everywhere, from church, to a Mall, to our schools, to even a Movie Theater.... to just being out on the street or highways driving. Since 9/11... our lives are lived around almost an "untold" and "unspoken" deep seeded fear, that anywhere we go or are, we could be a target for someone who hates mankind... the terrorists are not just in New York, not just overseas, but they are our next door neighbors, a family member, or that stranger in a car that may drive by.... that is right our children will never know and their children... that "freedom" is not what it used to be... It is sad and now once again this nation and just about every nation in the world have "turmoil", war, death, starvation, droughts, terrorists, people that "prey" on their own kind... the reflection in the "mirror" of life is no more and never will be again.... Thanks Jason Harber what you said and what Amanda Batson- Matheny said along with many of us will reflect on today... and just how much we have changed as "humans" of how we feel we must "not trust" as much, we can find ourselves living in a "fear" and may not even realize it... The Memory of the Loss of so many innocent lives will always remain, and what those terrorists took was something from ALL of us... and left us with fear.... my thoughts, prayers, and in Remembrance of ALL who "lost" - I pray that no more will we have to endure such horror....

Day 10: Pain Awareness Month - US Pain Foundation and a great video to find out much more about Pain Awareness Month, the US Pain Foundation and How you can help!

Exciting News for IFAA - -FINALIST FOR INNOVATION AWARD! "Celgene" Innovation Awards

HOORAY FOR IFAA-FINALIST FOR INNOVATION AWARD!

The International Foundation for Autoimmune Arthritis is a FINALIST in the 2015 Celgene Innovation Impact Awards: “Unleashing the Patient Voice in Research”, with awards up to $100,000 for our submitted project idea!

IFAA is dedicated to bridging YOU with scientists so that OUR needs can be heard and then turned into real research projects. We are problem solvers, it’s what we do. Hopefully we are able to push this to the end and bring home one of the awards! Autoimmune Arthritis patients- it’s our time to be heard!

Congratulations to all the finalists:
1. Aplastic Anemia & MDS International Foundation
2. Cancer Support Community
3. Crohn’s & Colitis Foundation of America
4. FORCE – Facing Our Risk of Cancer Empowered
5. Foundation for Sarcoidosis Research
6. International Foundation for Autoimmune Arthritis
7. MDS Foundation
8. National Psoriasis Foundation
9. Research Advocacy Network
10. Pancreatic Cancer Action Network

IFAA, Tiffany and the Entire Dedicated Group with the International Autoimmune Arthritis Foundation - Thank you!

I had a very pleasant surprise at my door step Tuesday after the holiday weekend! My “regular” mail had already came. But, later in the afternoon, I stepped out on my front porch to see a large package with my name on it!! At first, I thought it was the “blue ribbons” that I am waiting on for pain awareness month. They have not sent them yet… BUT, IT was ALL KINDS OF AWESOME STUFF FROM THE IFAA AND TIFFANY! I was so thrilled when I opened it… an awesome very sturdy reusable bag, along with others that are also perfect to take to the market from the WAAD 14! I also had a nice pen with the IFFF Logo on it, and a huge book that came from the Autoimmune Summit 2015 - with all of the data from research and so forth they discussed at the Summit in New York! smile emoticon I am really enjoying lots of the data in there… extremely interesting to me… anyway, I will get a better photo up later. I had to take this one with my “web cam”. I am charging the battery on my good digital camera. So, I will make more when it is charged. Again, Thanks to IFAA, Tiffany and the entire gang… what an awesome job all of you do…. I hope to soon participate more. Due to all of the “circumstances” between my own health, My Mom’s health, then all of the other personal “agenda” that I HOPE to have basically over with in October… my hope is to get back on tract with my activism, advocacy, my own research, and doing more writing on my book, as well as working even more on my blog… by the way my blog seems to be “getting more attention”… and I am thrilled about that…

 To Learn more about IFAA, want to join in their Advocacy team and more  the URL IS:

http://www.ifautoimmunearthritis.org/

The "NEVER ENDING" Saga of Rhia, Autoimmune illnesses, cellulitis, abscesses, and feeling the pain, disgust, frustration for others like myself that seem to NEVER get a break

This is a post I sent to a friend on Facebook... she also is just having one hell u va time, dealing with "crap", illnesses, and all that entails when you feel life NEVER gives you a break! I realize some of it I've already posted, but believe me... I feel it is totally worth repetition... so others KNOW they are NOT alone!

 

 

 

  I SO, SO, SO can empathize with you and how you feel. It has been so much the same for myself. Between the already issues with Lupus, RA, and so forth, then the accident last year in March that my husband was in, now he has left and moved back to WA state.. we are filing for a divorce and honestly I am NOT sure to this moment WHY? Then I need lower back surgery, then my Mom in the midst of me finding out what was wrong with my hips and legs, which was my back, she comes down with a severe hip issue, that also turns out to be her lumbar spine also. She is 80 years old, and they do NOT even want to discuss surgery on her...but they are trying with medication, PT and supposed to do some epidural injections on her. About the time we got those scheduled her last living sibling, a younger sister, passed away of a rare stomach cancer, she had been fighting for a couple of years, then BOTH of us come down with some kind of stomach virus, & I spent several weeks of it seeming to come and go, and even got ill Sunday morning...I was so upset, I felt "fine" was dressed, and was about to walk out the door, and my stomach felt "odd" and sure enough, I almost did not make it to that bathroom and was sick to my stomach again, out of the blue... then I have been dealing with a "lump" on my mid left thigh now for about 9 weeks... my PCP thought it was cellulitis, and of course with my immune system being so compromised, he immediately put me on TWO antibiotics, which helped some, but after 3 ROUNDS of them, 7 days each, he wanted me to have a surgeon look at it, and cut it out...well, I had a hard time finding a surgeon close enough that took my insurance, finally did, but he could not see me for over a week! So, all of a sudden this "lump" that showed no signs of an outside infection... has not been red, warm, or appearing to be infected on the outside, but a week before I was to see the surgeon I woke up to it being very red, warm, and appeared to almost be trying to burst open... so I quickly called mt PCP and told him... so he put me on another round of the antibiotics until I could see the surgeon. Well by the time I saw the surgeon which was last Friday, it has abscessed inside, and he had to "CUT" it open, and let all of the infection out of it! He also sent some to be cultured, and I must have had "two layers" of infection. One kind of shallow, but another much deeper. Now he did this in his office, just injecting lidocaine in it, which hurt like hell and burned worse...and I am "tough"... nothing usually bothers me... but then I had to take the bandages off twice daily, after getting home, and "clean it out" with Q-tips and peroxide... when I took the bandage off the first time on Saturday, OMG I have a HOLE in my thigh deep to it almost feels like it is to my bone, and wide... like 2 inches deep and that wide... I almost could not do it, but I knew I had to.. so I did that and then finally yesterday, it was not quite as painful so I took a shower and used antibacterial dial liquid body wash which I had already been using, and he said to allow the soap and water to get into it, and clean it out... I did, and it hurt some but not all that bad... but then this morning, I began to take off the bandage and it again looked awful to me... it is still draining a bit... but I see him tomorrow thank goodness... now he did not address the "other lump" on my right thigh, almost in the same spot as this first one. It came up after my PCP began me on antibiotics, but I never said anything about it, thinking that medication would take care of it also... well it is still there, a bit larger, and I fear it may be the same thing. I had told the surgeon's nurse Friday, but I guess he forgot about that once he was working on this other one. So, I've got to point it out to him... it is just like the other one... it shows no "outside" appearance of an infection, it is just a lump under the skin.... to top that off my Rheumy wanted to put me on a new RA Medication, but before we could change I had to do a whole entourage of blood work, TB testing, Hepatitis, etc... well all was "okay

accept the TB test... that particular test has to be done just a few hours after the blood is drawn or it can come back not accurate... so mine came be "indecisive"... so I needed a damned chest Xray to show the test was just off... well I could not again find anyone close that took this stupid insurance, so I finally was just going to pay our Urgent care to have it done. Well, the order got misplaced that my Rheumy sent them..then due to this lump, my Mom, my Aunt passing away, I got delayed in doing the X-ray... so when I went out to have it done last week, they had NO order, or they just could not find it, and when I called and had my Rheumy fax it, it was for 2 views instead of one... so I did not want to have to pay double if it was not necessary, so I had to get hold of my Rheumy... and have them fax a new order for one view... I FINALLY got that done, and now due to the lump, the infection, the delay of the Xray... I've not had any RA meds in like 9 weeks or more!!! So, my RA, is so bad.. And within all of that is even more crap that has and is happening... and I am just frustrated, upset, disgusted, mad, and all the things you feel... it is like some of us NEVER get a break... EVERYTHING in my life has always been "complicated".... and it is just too old... for sure....there are days I want to crawl under my bed to never return.... and between all of that... my Pug has also had stomach problems and been sick to her stomach off and on also....

My Beautiful Daughter, Her awesome Husband and the two Grandsons, family... and also Heather a Senior this year...

I've got to share these pics with you! My daughter, Amanda, and her husband and their two sons, and also they have a daughter who graduates this school year... I have an awesome daughter, an Incredible Son In Law, and three smart and witty Grandkids... fishing, outdoors, hunting, sports, the lake... you name it they all love it!!!

  LOL!!! AND YES, MY DAUGHTER CAN "ROCK" A CAMO SHIRT AND BLACK LACE SHORTS!!!! ;)  

 

They have a blast down by Corpus Christi, at one of the lakes they go to, and all of them love camping, fishing, hunting, and kind of outside sport... I am so thrilled to have them as an awesome "team" as far as my family!