Showing posts with label wishing for a break. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wishing for a break. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 2, 2018

"2018!" HOPE for better health, less pain, yet it's not beginning very well, Lupus, RA flares possible & weather is literally I believe reeking havoc with me!

Praying for RELIEF, from Lupus, RA, Chronic Pain, and trying to remain hopeful that being in pain does NOT keep me from doing the things I want to do for 2018



The weather here like many places has been down right bitter cold! We were in the teens' night before and last night, at 17 this morning when I first got up. Fortunately, so far there has been no falling precipitation, or it may have been really bad here. I know I've heard the ambulances etc going out off and on now for days, I am sure many people ill, or get too cold etc. I am having a very difficult time "coping" with everything. I've so wanted 2018 to begin with new things to do, to accomplish, and pray that pain and illness don't plague me. Yet, I've been suffering with a severe headache off and on now for really 2 weeks, and when the weather got so cold, I believe every bone in my body hurts. I "may have a Lupus and/or RA" flare.

I feel like after they took me off the Methotrexate, that keeps the other medications from working as well. We did it due to me having infections so much back a good while ago, and now that seems to be somewhat "better" BUT the pain has been so horrible, almost unbearable, and for me to say that, and I am talking about over and above all of my medications, the pain pump and so forth. I FEAR going to the doctor's, one fear is that my neck could be messed up again. If I were to go to Urgent Care they could give me an injection of a corticosteroid along with a 14 day supply of a huge dose of prednisone, and if it is the Lupus and/or RA, then that would definitely help the pain, stiffness and inflammation.

Then I've had hell with my left elbow for a long while. In fact the Orthopedic Surgeon who did my knee replacements etc, told me several years ago that my left elbow really needed another surgery on it. Well, he injected it and it went a long while without giving me hell. But in the summer when I was doing all of the windows, getting them open (the old windows that someone painted shut inside) so I could open windows when the days were nice, plus I can clean them better, and be able to paint them etc... and it took a couple of weeks, but I got all but about 3 in the house that so far I've not been able to get open. One of them has a crack in it, so I didn't want to be messing with it, I JUST put in the one glass pane that the hail broke out, 2 or 3 years ago!

But, I have a couple more than NOW since I know I can actually do them myself, when the weather warms up I want to replace any that are cracked. Many of them have the initial glass that was put in them in 1950 when the house was built, so the glass is very brittle, after so many years... anyway, I had surgery on the left elbow in about 1998 or so. In fact, Dr. Roye who had just began practicing in Waxahachie, did the surgery. He fixed the elbow and had also done work on my left shoulder. But, the elbow has kind of like pins or screws in it, and they have always "poked" out so you can see them.

But, they had been right "above" the upper part of my elbow, and I accidentally was working on one of those windows and it was very loose, rather than so tight as most of them. I knew I had to prop it open in order to do what I needed to do, so it would not come crashing down on my fingers... I had placed a piece of board under it, but I was trying to get a screen in where that storm window had been used for an A/C unit. When it went out and I got the new one I moved it out of that window and wanted to put the screen back in it... but it is harder to do than you think, the way that screen has to go high up, then slide down into that window is difficult when you are having to go under the old inside window. Well, I started to put the screen in and try to get it up high enough to go into the window, but you also have to push on the outside of the storm window in order to get the screen to go in correctly. So, I knocked that darned board down and down went that heavy wooden window right down on that elbow where those screws are...

once that happened I was in so much pain, plus the screws actually MOVED down towards the bottom of my elbow than where they had been... well of course the hip fracture, then the neck surgery etc. and although the elbow pops now and then, it really has not hurt that much. Up until the past about 4 or 5 nights... it wakes me up every morning about 2AM from my elbow down to my fingers "numb" yet "on fire".... like it has fallen asleep so badly, and now as it "wakes" up that PAIN that comes with it! At first I thought it was my wrist because I have carpal tunnel, and I had the right hand fixed, but other things came up so I left the left one alone.... but I know it is not "just" my wrist down, and actually starts right above the elbow and radiates down into my thumbs and two sometimes 3 fingers on the thumb side. I believe I have Cubital tunnel syndrome which it what I think I had when it was repaired in the late 90's....

and after hitting those screws and it was already giving me problems, I feel that really did a number on it.... BUT, then for 2 nights beside HORRIBLE NIGHTMARES. I am woke up by my left LEG from my knee down with a very deep terrible ache! Bad enough it woke me up again last night. I got up took some meds and laid back down, but by 4AM I was up with the both of them hurting again.... What truly irks me about all of it, is that I've prayed and prayed to just have "time" to not be in so much pain, to not have horrible health issues, so I CAN BLOG, WRITE, AND DO SOME THINGS I WANT TO DO! IF between not sleeping due to severe pain, and then the weather really making it worse, and maybe some type of a flare, I hate to being griping but I pray the rest of 2018 is not like the 1st couple of days have been. I am almost embarrassed to "whine" about these things but damned it's just so hard to live with and not be able to talk to anyone about it....

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

The "NEVER ENDING" Saga of Rhia, Autoimmune illnesses, cellulitis, abscesses, and feeling the pain, disgust, frustration for others like myself that seem to NEVER get a break

This is a post I sent to a friend on Facebook... she also is just having one hell u va time, dealing with "crap", illnesses, and all that entails when you feel life NEVER gives you a break! I realize some of it I've already posted, but believe me... I feel it is totally worth repetition... so others KNOW they are NOT alone!

 
 
 
  I SO, SO, SO can empathize with you and how you feel. It has been so much the same for myself. Between the already issues with Lupus, RA, and so forth, then the accident last year in March that my husband was in, now he has left and moved back to WA state.. we are filing for a divorce and honestly I am NOT sure to this moment WHY? Then I need lower back surgery, then my Mom in the midst of me finding out what was wrong with my hips and legs, which was my back, she comes down with a severe hip issue, that also turns out to be her lumbar spine also. She is 80 years old, and they do NOT even want to discuss surgery on her...but they are trying with medication, PT and supposed to do some epidural injections on her. About the time we got those scheduled her last living sibling, a younger sister, passed away of a rare stomach cancer, she had been fighting for a couple of years, then BOTH of us come down with some kind of stomach virus, & I spent several weeks of it seeming to come and go, and even got ill Sunday morning...I was so upset, I felt "fine" was dressed, and was about to walk out the door, and my stomach felt "odd" and sure enough, I almost did not make it to that bathroom and was sick to my stomach again, out of the blue... then I have been dealing with a "lump" on my mid left thigh now for about 9 weeks... my PCP thought it was cellulitis, and of course with my immune system being so compromised, he immediately put me on TWO antibiotics, which helped some, but after 3 ROUNDS of them, 7 days each, he wanted me to have a surgeon look at it, and cut it out...well, I had a hard time finding a surgeon close enough that took my insurance, finally did, but he could not see me for over a week! So, all of a sudden this "lump" that showed no signs of an outside infection... has not been red, warm, or appearing to be infected on the outside, but a week before I was to see the surgeon I woke up to it being very red, warm, and appeared to almost be trying to burst open... so I quickly called mt PCP and told him... so he put me on another round of the antibiotics until I could see the surgeon. Well by the time I saw the surgeon which was last Friday, it has abscessed inside, and he had to "CUT" it open, and let all of the infection out of it! He also sent some to be cultured, and I must have had "two layers" of infection. One kind of shallow, but another much deeper. Now he did this in his office, just injecting lidocaine in it, which hurt like hell and burned worse...and I am "tough"... nothing usually bothers me... but then I had to take the bandages off twice daily, after getting home, and "clean it out" with Q-tips and peroxide... when I took the bandage off the first time on Saturday, OMG I have a HOLE in my thigh deep to it almost feels like it is to my bone, and wide... like 2 inches deep and that wide... I almost could not do it, but I knew I had to.. so I did that and then finally yesterday, it was not quite as painful so I took a shower and used antibacterial dial liquid body wash which I had already been using, and he said to allow the soap and water to get into it, and clean it out... I did, and it hurt some but not all that bad... but then this morning, I began to take off the bandage and it again looked awful to me... it is still draining a bit... but I see him tomorrow thank goodness... now he did not address the "other lump" on my right thigh, almost in the same spot as this first one. It came up after my PCP began me on antibiotics, but I never said anything about it, thinking that medication would take care of it also... well it is still there, a bit larger, and I fear it may be the same thing. I had told the surgeon's nurse Friday, but I guess he forgot about that once he was working on this other one. So, I've got to point it out to him... it is just like the other one... it shows no "outside" appearance of an infection, it is just a lump under the skin.... to top that off my Rheumy wanted to put me on a new RA Medication, but before we could change I had to do a whole entourage of blood work, TB testing, Hepatitis, etc... well all was "okay
accept the TB test... that particular test has to be done just a few hours after the blood is drawn or it can come back not accurate... so mine came be "indecisive"... so I needed a damned chest Xray to show the test was just off... well I could not again find anyone close that took this stupid insurance, so I finally was just going to pay our Urgent care to have it done. Well, the order got misplaced that my Rheumy sent them..then due to this lump, my Mom, my Aunt passing away, I got delayed in doing the X-ray... so when I went out to have it done last week, they had NO order, or they just could not find it, and when I called and had my Rheumy fax it, it was for 2 views instead of one... so I did not want to have to pay double if it was not necessary, so I had to get hold of my Rheumy... and have them fax a new order for one view... I FINALLY got that done, and now due to the lump, the infection, the delay of the Xray... I've not had any RA meds in like 9 weeks or more!!! So, my RA, is so bad.. And within all of that is even more crap that has and is happening... and I am just frustrated, upset, disgusted, mad, and all the things you feel... it is like some of us NEVER get a break... EVERYTHING in my life has always been "complicated".... and it is just too old... for sure....there are days I want to crawl under my bed to never return.... and between all of that... my Pug has also had stomach problems and been sick to her stomach off and on also....