With Will, Hope, Faith, many prayers from many people, I am able to do some things I thought I would never do again after the hip fractures.

I couldn't resist taking these photo's today. First of all, I actually put MAKE-UP ON twice this week! LOL!! Then today I went over to Waxahachie to Lowe's and I found the cabinet I was looking for. But. I just had my car, so I knew I could not fit it in... I'll either order it and have it delivered, or Jason may help me sometimes next week. I really need to research some of the wallboard etc to put up in the back bedroom and finish out the laundry room....

 Anyway, I actually went over there and decided since I am "very stable" especially the hip now, I would wear my new "ankle boots". They have a small heel on them but i felt I could handle walking in them, so on they went. Also, a couple of the nurses and my Orthopedic surgeon, and the anesthesiologist even all were taken back and kind of made fun of my belly button ring. I had forgotten to take it out before they took me to surgery, so I was already on the operating table and I took it off and they taped it to my bed. ;) So, I made a photo of my belly button ring, just to show you can be (OH LORD) 57 yrs old and still 'court" fashion. 

I got back to town and decided to stop at HEB's and pick up a few items. I had a young woman stop me and tell me how great I looked in my outfit... :) That truly made my day!!! So, I share with you what I was so proud of. When i 1st had the hip fractures, I was so bummed, I felt I may never be able to walk without a cane, or at least for a long while, plus I felt I may never be able to wear my "sensible" heeled boots.... and here it is on Feb. 13th 8 weeks, I am able to do what I thought may never happen :)

A Thank You To ALL who send me Happy Birthday Wishes!!!!

I appreciate each and every friend who send me uplifting Birthday Wishes. It is so nice to know that others do take a moment to wish you the best on your special day.

So, for each of you that will and have sent me a Happy Birthday (I was almost a Valentine's Baby) a warm "Thank You"!!!

Happy Valentine's Day to All!!

TO ALL OF MY DEAR FRIENDS, READERS, THOSE WHO LIFT ME UP WHEN LIFE TENDS TO TRY AND KNOCK ME DOWN, TO THOSE WHO LOVE MY POETRY, LOVE ME FOR JUST BEING ME, NO MATTER HOW SCREWED UP I AM AT TIMES, THAT TRUST ME, INSPIRE ME, PUSH ME TO BE MORE OF ME, THOSE WHO THINK I AM TALENTED, SMART, FUNNY, AND THOSE WHO THINK I AM JUST AN INCREDIBLE ASS AT TIMES...

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU!

Finding some kind of "Quiet" in all of the Chaotic Realms of my Own Daily Life, what I want, what I need to do, and why I am NOT doing some of the things I think I "want" to do... as I said "chaotic"

If I sound "off" today, I feel "off".... I've been having so many nightmares, or just plain terrible dreams, I even began waking myself up and writing them down... and my sleep is all off schedule... I get up way earlier than I had been, and by the time 9PM comes around, I am ready to lay down. I try to watch a movie, and sometimes I do, other times I wake up and the movie is over, and the TV is still on... and the weather is really messing with me... although it is warm here, our humidity levels are so high, it appears as if it has rained, and I even Peanut acting a bit "off" ... we did have a full moon, but this has been going on now with me for several weeks. I "think" I am just sick of being in the house so much, and although I have a billion things I can do, for the most part, I just cannot get motivated enough to do them. I've thought it was my diet, so I went back to eating breakfast earlier, like I did while in the hospital...

 so I try to eat by about 8:30AM or so, but then by 2PM, which is too late to eat "lunch" because I eat dinner by about 5:45 for the most part, so I even made some of my own homemade granola... I have to get more stuff to go into it, but it turned out good, and this way I can keep out the nuts and stuff that my dentures just cannot take... I bought some "trail mix" and they have whole almonds in it, and even when I chopped them up more, I still cannot chew or bite on an almond, they are just too hard, and oddly enough, I like the "flavor" of almonds, but I am not crazy about the nuts themselves... I love walnuts, and they are a bit less hard, but I realized while I was looking for granola recipes, you can even put like Cheerios cereal in it, and other things I had not thought about... I used "brown sugar Splenda" in it and a little bit of honey... then put my favorite spices, allspice, cinnamon, cardamon, ginger, and nutmeg... 

and I had a few dried dates, and I took the dried cranberries out of the trail mix, and they had some dried cherries in it... plus I put coconut in it before I put it in the oven... I want to get it a bit "chunkier" though... so probably more honey or brown sugar, so it will "stick together" a bit more... then I need to grab several of my favorite dried fruits to go in it, and those now are easy to find... anyway, I am just having a tough time trying to figure out where to "stick myself"... I came down with a sore throat the last couple of days, and I know everywhere in Ennis I go people are coughing and sneezing, and hoarse, and the flu, and some other viral stuff is going around, plus lots of people are suffering from pneumonia, which I HOPE that new vaccine I took early in the fall helps to keep me away from the pneumonia.. I had it like 2 or 3 years in a row, twice in both lungs, so I don't want any of that if I can stay the heck well. Besides if I come down with something like that it delays my possible new RA medication, and/or my neck surgery... and then this morning, for some odd reason, I was getting up off the sofa, and "hit" the nerve I guess going down my left leg...

 I NEVER usually have issues with that side, but it burned and stung like I was on fire... so I am not sure, if I happened to have "rolled" on it getting up or if my lower back is acting up, but this time on my left side... when I've had kidney stones, my left side usually hurts worse than the right. So, I first thought oh crap, not a kidney stone... but it is more I think all weather related... my hip and right leg have hurt now for about 3 days or so... I even have been getting Peanut on his leash, and the days it is nice outside, we walk 4 or 5 times during the day.... he loves it ... and he got upset with me this morning. I had to go around to the back and get one of the smaller tree limbs that I need to get into the trash, plus I had a whole trash can full of limbs and tomorrow is trash day. I always try and bring the cans up to the side of my house, especially if we have bad weather, so I don't have to go around to the back if it is rainy or cold... so he was upset. I could not hold his leash, and try and bring the limb and the can up to the front... but I had him out for a little while to pick up the newspapers, and it is still damp outside... I figure it will either "cure me" or "kill me: as the saying goes, to get out and walk around for a bit...

 I've got fire ants coming out again, so it is time to get the fire any granules out, but also time to spread the granules out I buy for spring and summer. I have to do it early as of now, since we have basically not "had any real winter weather yet" so the bugs, ants, and every other kind of insect, fleas, will be in the yard if I don't get them under control BEFORE they start.. Anyway, Lots of things I could do, and I need a cabinet, preferably with doors on it. I want to take all of my tools and such I have on two tables in my back bedroom, and get them organized into the cabinet, and off those tables... The room is a damned mess... and although it is my own "controlled chaos" (I KNOW where everything is) still it looks horrible, and I've got to go through some boxes of stuff and throw away some things... but I have so many "hand tools" like pliers, screwdrivers, my cordless drills, and nails and the list of "things" I keep and need the small stuff, just needs to be organized, and put away neatly so I can get that room painted, and get the window repaired that is still broken from hail over 2 YEARS ago,...

 I fear anytime one of these bad winds will come, and it will knock out my "duct taped" window, and I will be up the creek - and mad because I have not fixed it yet... so I have MANY PROJECTS, like my writing, around the house, my advocacy stuff, and my lists go on and on, but my "motivation" is lacking right now.... I just cannot stand to "feel this way"... like I am kind of "lost" in my own sea of "stuff" and can't find which way to get my bearings and "sail" the path that I 1st need to, then go from there... I SWORE TO MYSELF after I got home from the hip fractures, I WOULD WRITE THIS NEXT BOOK... yet I continue to "not be able" to "begin" ... I almost feel like starting at the "back of the book" and work forward, rather than beginning and then coming to an end... the "latest" things to go in there are very fresh in my mind, thus the other stuff is already written down, but i must wade through all of it, and get it in some type of organized chaos, so it will half-assed make sense to whomever reads it...

 I have my drums and keyboard, BUT the right leg, will be the one along with the right foot for the bass... and the type of exercise I would get from "banging" on the drums maybe actually good for my hip and foot... it may help to strengthen those muscles both in my upper leg and in the foot also... My crap with the writing also has to do with my shoulder, and neck... and actually my lower back also, and might as well admit it my hands and wrists... When I sit here for very long, typing etc. my shoulders, neck, wrists, fingers and lower back begin to just burn... from the impinged nerves... and now the RA has gotten to the place my thumbs, wrists, and portions between my fingers are swollen, and stiff and it hurts to type for very long... I THINK IT IS TIME FOR ME TO GET THE HECK OUT OF THE HOUSE OVERNIGHT, THEN GET MY NEW PUPPY... AND try to take all of the chaotic crap, I "feel" I need to do, and sit down to re-organize my priorities again... I've drifted again between those things I "want" to do, and those things I feel I NEED to do... and what lies in between is a bunch of stuff, that keeps me in knots half the time....

FINALLY MY CHRISTMAS PRESENT TO MYSELF, Had it since before I fell on Dec. 13th, and my two new rugs, office and living room & now it is looking Much better around here.

Finally, NEW RUGS, My Office back together, my new sofa/chaise/futon in and OUT with the funky sofa, and new rug in place also... have had the sofa in my hallway, since BEFORE I FELL ON DECEMBER 13TH, sitting in boxes, for my "Christmas present" to myself.... so finally with the help of my son, we got the living room put back together... the sofa is a grayish/blue i guess...

It goes well when you see it, in person... and I am so PROUD to have it all in order and now I hope to go get my new puppy, well he will be about 5 or more months old... but I wanted to get the old sofa, and both rugs out, and be able to get everything in place before bringing a new puppy in....

so I think although I still have LOTS of work to do around here, I now at least have this part finished!

 Of course my pup Peanut in the way when I try to take pics... he is a "ham" when it comes to getting his photo made..

Talking about our own Advocacy work, activism, the GOOD you TRULY DO, & What makes "us tick" - all of us differ one to the other... and Chronic Illnesses and pain can create and reek havoc on us, as well as age....

I have a "surprise" for everyone, but I wanted to wait until our newspaper publishes it here locally, then I will post it on Facebook, in my personal newspaper and on my blog. I have a "Press Release" from a project, that is really a vital program for research in many different realms of chronic illnesses and/or pain. I've participated two times so far, after they "found" me. 

The 1st time, I guess we did not do a news release, but they have this time. I was so thrilled about it, because I always have to sign a NDA (non-disclosure affidavit) each year they ask me to do my part. I want to share it, not just because if it being "me" but MORE to show ALL OF YOU, HOW YOUR INPUT, YOUR ADVOCACY, WHETHER ONLINE, emails, a blog, Facebook, Twitter, or however you may help out when it comes to activism DOES MAKE A DIFFERENCE! I've done advocacy and activist items now for about 5 years, for different organizations and in different realms. Some of them, really in depth, like getting to go to Congress in Washington DC with the Arthritis Foundation, or posting blog articles, or my Facebook things that I read, post, and try to help provide viable and possible solutions for so many of us, that truly need to be helped, whether through knowledge (which believe me KNOWLEDGE IS POWER, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR OWN HEALTH, ILLNESSES, PHYSICIANS, SURGERIES, and all types of medical needs we step into during life.) I found out that although "some doctors do not like "educated" patients' MANY OF THEM are extremely happy to see patients taking an initiative to reach out, look for answers, make lists, ask questions, and not sit back and just rely on what our physicians tell us. 

LIFE and PATIENTS are too many and too busy, and our medical people NEED us to know all we can... so it saves lives, even our own. If you KNOW your medications, what you take, what you are allergic to, or have an idea about all of your medical issues, your surgeries and symptoms that are due to either a chronic medical illness such as RA or Lupus. Or if you are diabetic, you KNOW your own body, what you CAN eat, how to keep your blood sugar evened out, or other medications, know the side effects, understand when you NEED to call your doctor, OR when that side effect may not HURT you or even after a few days go away, rather than trying to call a doctor's office, and either stop the medication or go on taking it when something may not be right about it. I can almost go in when one of my joints, or my spine, or my muscles, or tendons (since MUSCLES CAN BE TIGHTENED BY EXERCISE) and TENDONS HAVE TO BE SURGICALLY REPAIRED OFTEN TIMES BECAUSE THEY DO NOT GET TIGHT AGAIN, LIKE A MUSCLE MIGHT...

That is why when you have a "torn rotator cuff" in a shoulder, you "may" strengthen the muscles, but if those "tendons" that make up the rotator cuff are too lax, or torn completely away from the bone itself, surgery may be the only option to get back mobility, strength, get rid of pain or much of it, and then strengthen the muscles after the tendons are repaired. You would be shocked and I know even ...

I recently began to totally "understand" the true difference between tendons and muscles. I "asked" the question, and my foot specialist explained it to me... like a rubber band may "stretch" like a muscle... but if it is attached to a board, and you actually tear it away from that board, no amount of exercise will give you back the loss from a tear. I now also realize WHY when someone TEARS TENDONS in their foot, or leg, it takes MONTHS AND MONTHS EVEN WITH SURGERY, to get that tendon "healed". It has to "attach" back to that bone. So, like my shoulders, or my left elbow the "severe tennis elbow" I had was "torn" away from the bone. My orthopedic surgeon attached the tendons back to my bones, with screws, nuts etc... BUT it took a long time for that tendon to actually "grow itself" back to the elbow, and often times, they don't attach back themselves, that is why, so often you never can do some of what you did with that shoulder, elbow, ankle, and so forth as you could at one time.

Before I broke the hip, I had just about made up my mind to try and snow ski one more time in my life. That used to be my "birthday present" the week of my birthday for many years.... but after the replaced knees, and the shoulder replacement, I felt maybe I should not chance "wrecking" one of them again. But, I had decided I would give it a try once more... and thought about making a trip to Santa Fe NM, I've skied there as well as Wolf Creek Pass that I LOVED! 

But Santa Fe has lots of new courses, and much more to offer than they once did, and it is about 7 hours closer than Pagosa Springs, CO where you stay to ski Wolf Creek. But, once the hip was fractured, I then knew there would be no way I would try to ski... not really because of the break of the hip BUT a fear now since my bones are so severely taken away with osteoporosis, my fear would be to "break" more bones, or another hip, or injure my back worse, thus my days of skiing are over with. I have great memories... and in fact yesterday when I was going through looking for the photo's with the fish, deer etc... I started to scan a pic of me, when the "big hair" craze was in... Gosh I wished I still looked that young.... ;) Alas time has become somewhat of an enemy when it comes to skin, aging, and how our lines, wrinkles and so forth seem to develop out of nowhere.....