Showing posts with label published books. Show all posts
Showing posts with label published books. Show all posts

Saturday, December 15, 2018

2019 - "Doing What YOU LOVE", dishes, laundry can wait, friends passing away, & making sure life does not pass you by...

Great "Lessons" from an awesome writer... I am giving thought to also "rewriting" my two published poetry books.  I want to make them "shorter" and have 4 or 5 "shorter" poetry books. And within those, add some of my Dad's "sayings" that I have here. I had thought I would write a book of his sayings all on its own, but I think it would be more interesting to "add them" into the poetry books.

As I do that, I "hope" to get myself motivated to get up off the sofa at 3 or 4AM every morning and rather than cook, bake, clean, do laundry etc... take that "early" time of quiet and try and put use to it by getting back into where I've just left off with my writing. After all that happened, with Jim's accident, all of my surgeries and illnesses, then Mom becoming ill and passing away so suddenly, then me falling within 6 months fracturing my hip in two places, losing two of my fur-babies in between all of that, and all of the "other crap" of life, I've kind of been "lost" from the things that I loved to do,... the writing, the painting, yet also my "body" at times won't allow me to sit long enough to write (type) and just the 1001 things that tend to interfere... and 'sound like excuses"... and maybe some are, but also, it's very difficult as many of you know to go through "harrowing" issues, and try to do what you love to do... so as the new year is upon us and I've given thought to just how quickly life has flown by. All of the wonderful memories of my own childhood, my Grandparents house with my Aunts and Uncles, cousins... all of that seems like it was just yesterday.


We were in Elementary school, with programs, and the wonderful times that our lives were "simple"... we didn't have to be concerned about getting "harmed" at school, or someone taking us for all kinds of horrible reasons... we could ride our bikes, I rode mine all over town by the time I was about 14 or so, never gave a thought about someone running over us. We could go out to eat, to the Mall, to the movies, out at night to ball games, we didn't have to "worry", things were simpler.... so, now just what seems such a few shorts year later and life is ANYTHING BUT SIMPLE, EVEN FOR OUR OWN KIDS!


So, before I blink again, and I can't see (my eyesight is really getting bad the double vision seems to get worse by the month), or I can't type, or hell half the time I can't keep my thoughts straight now at times... i should "do what I love"... take the time to not worry over the leaves in the back yard, or a tree limb hanging too low... or the roof of my house looking like it "may leak" when for now it's not... so as I enter hopefully a new phase of living, I hope you also find that spot to say, " I'm going to do something I LOVE", and that load of laundry can wait till tomorrow......


https://www.businessinsider.com/stephen-king-on-how-to-write-2014-8?utm_source=copy-link&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=topbar&utm_term=desktop


Sunday, January 17, 2016

Setting The New Year Tone as I Deal With RA, Lupus, Sjogren's, Trying to Complete a 3rd book, Life, Family and so much more...

Every Year so many of us have a "List to Live By"... for the New Year. Some call it a list of "resolutions", "Changes", a new way, a different attitude, motivation for making things different, making what you want in life happen... Whatever you "call" it... we try to set the "tone" for our New Year.

Whether "chronically ill" or not... each of us want things to "change". Now, many of us may be completely satisfied with our life "as is"... but human nature gives us this innate intuition to never stand stagnant, to always want to evolve, to make our mark on the world, or at least our own home and community. As a whole, although when you hear the news it does not sound like it, I still feel "human nature" basically wants to "do well"... to help, to be that change maker...

As I have prodded through these past 7, 8, 9 or more years of chronic illness and chronic pain, I've noticed that it seems for the majority of us that are chronically ill, whether it is an Autoimmune Illness, Heart Disease, Cancer, or any number of diseases, syndromes and/or illnesses "we" as a whole tend to try even harder to "change" what that disease is doing not just to "our bodies and lives" but to all the others we see on a daily basis suffering from the very same illnesses. We tend to be more a part of the "change makers", whether that means a local community awareness, or a National Campaign and being an "Ambassador", Volunteer, Activist, a "voice" such as helping so many of our non-profits, such as The Arthritis Foundation, The Cancer Society, The American Heart Association, Lupus Foundation, The Pain Foundation, and the many, many, charities and organizations that "go to bat" to fight not only locally, in our states, but nationally to make awareness known within our Governmental Bodies, to get finances for more research, the race for a cure, for answers as to "why" some of us suffer so badly from such horrid illnesses, what causes them, how to treat them without destroying a patients life, and how to give people back their quality of daily living!

So, when our chronic illness and/or oain issues bring us to the place we no longer can "work" our jobs, or do many things we once could do, we find ourselves seeking a way to help STOP these diseases from ruining more lives in the future. With the technology, and how we have evolved globally, with a few key strokes, we can contact our state, our county, our city, and our National Government Officials. We can provide all types of very usual assistance without leaving our homes to "make that difference" we so want to make in life. I know some people that probably spend more hours a day now as a volunteer, activist, etc... than they did actually working a 9 to 5 job that nearly killed them... but we can "take off" for a week if we are ill, or work an hour a day, or a few hours a month.... however much "we" want to put into assisting these foundations, is so appreciated. And many of us, like myself have been even honored and rewarded by being sent to Washington DC to stand on Capitol Hill and tell our stories! So, activism, can be and is such a rewarding part of a chronically ill person's life. We feel we are "contributing" even though we may not be able to work hours a day, or leave our homes... we "make a difference"... and not even spend a penny... but give of ourselves and our time... which is definitely valuable... sometimes more than money... the value of "our time"....

I had been looking on Twitter a bit ago, and there was a great idea that I decided to not only to share, but to do. Take an empty jar, and each "good thing" that happens within the New Year, jot it down on a small piece of paper and put it in the jar. Then in the start of the next New Year, get those out and read them. As I said, all too often we "recall" all of the crappy, the bad stuff, that happens within a years time, yet we don't remember those "good moments" and maybe they are "small" but memorable. Then see just how many have filled that jar from that year before. I have already been able to write down 3 or 4 things and put in the jar, and this is the middle of January! Maybe I will need 2 jars to "hold" onto those good moments... those moments that help to make the bad ones seem not so bad.

So, the "title" of this post, is a bit deceiving in some ways. I gave the impression this was going to me more about my own "revelations" for the New Year, and the "tone" of how I "want" my year to be for 2016. I've never been one to set expectations to high, but I do try to give myself "goals" to achieve... yet I have also had to learn that when you have illnesses such as Lupus, RA, Sjogren's.... and so forth... those things you "want to achieve" may get put on the back burner, for those times you are in a "flare", or you are having surgery, or sick, or going to the doctors... there can be all kinds of things that interfere with those "good intentions"... and it is not that you may not achieve them... just not in the time frame you thought you would. I had wanted to be a published author for 20 years plus, and then was with two books within less than a year between them! My 3rd book, has been sitting here mainly completed on my computer, but needing to be put in some type of order now for gosh 3, 4 or more years. But, life and illness... have had to come first... thus the book WILL GET PUBLISHED, but I no longer "pressure" myself... Due to things beyond my control over the last almost 3 years, I began getting it together, then had to leave it... now it will take me weeks to even get back into where I am, what I have in it, and how I want to continue... and I will get there... but I have to feel well enough "physically" to be able to sit at the computer several hours at a time, hopefully with little interruption for weeks, at least 2 or 3... or I will never be able to "delve" into where I am, and where I want to go forward.... so I may not be able to do as much as I want on it, until I have the cervical neck surgery... I can't sit very long at the computer typing right now because of that disc... when it presses down on the nerves, and I have pain in my shoulders and down my arms into my thumbs... it makes it very difficult to "find my voice" to write...

It is different with my blog... I can write a bit, get up, do a few things, and come back to "finish" the post...

But, the "tone" for my 2016 is to try my best to get as far on the 3rd book as I can to prepare for it to be published. I also need to get myself back into "physical shape" and I mean back to walking when it warms up, taking the dogs out walking, and getting out of the house... but I also face at least the one surgery... and maybe two this year... my lower lumbar and sacral spine gives me hell when I try and sit for very long also... and after Friday's ordeal of driving and doctors in Dallas all day long, I have suffered with a great deal of back and side pain... hell I've wondered if I have another kidney stone, the pain has been so bad off and on...

So, the "tone" again is to do as much as I can personally to my home, bless it's heart it needs so much work, and myself... and try to "enjoy" each day whether ill on the sofa, sitting here at the computer writing, or online...walking my pups... walking myself... and hopefully spending several times this year for a day or overnight stay at Winstar! Gosh how I miss that Casino! I walk in and the world melts away, at least for that time you are there...

So, take time to "set your tone" for 2016.... make yourself a "good moments" jar... and in 2017 (when I get to trade in my Prius for a New Model) see how many of those truly make you smile.....

Thursday, May 28, 2015

When it finally "dawns on you" why you seem so totally living in "chaos" even above the drama of Chronic Pain and Chronic Illnesses

I have spent moments, hours, days, weeks, even I am sure YEARS trying to figure out exactly "why" my life seems to be in a "chaotic" whirlwind almost daily.

Yes, having autoimmune and/or any type of "chronic illnesses" along with "chronic pain" puts your life in turmoil more often it seems than not.


Yet, that still does not explain why, with only 2 adults, 2 pups, in a tiny two bedroom, barely over a 1,000 sq foot home, and a back and front lawn that are definitely average in size, along with a "back forty" a small bit of land that up until this fall had the neighbors sheep and goats on it, so we never had to be concerned on it. Why it seems that EVERY DAY of my life I look around, and I am constantly dusting, vacuuming, mopping, sweeping, picking up things, doing laundry, taking out trash, scrubbing tub and toilet. Yet both inside and out, I feel like it appears that this house is dirty, and it is just falling down around me every day a bit more.

When I bought it, I put a LOT of money into it, there was still SO MUCH "restoration" that needed to be done, yet the money ran out. So, even though there was at least 10,000.00 or more put into it, for painting, redoing floors, carpets, furniture, redoing plumbing, a lot of the electrical rewiring, lots of new plumbing, a brand new shower/tub, a new toliet, taking in a wall, knocking one out to have a bit of closet space and to make the bathroom larger. Yet, when it came to redoing flooring in the bath, kitchen, doing the finishing work i the laundry room, a carport had to be put up, and now the list is still endless.

We had some storm windows put in, and had a great deal of insulation put in the walls and attic. Yet, one bedroom did not get the new windows, and the windows are so old, the glass brittle, they lack most of the correct Pins and "glazing" that should be around them. That entire room has really never had been redone, so it needs paint, the windows repaired, a new ceiling fan, carpeting laid, and along with now the outside of the house needs a complete paint job, and some rotten board repaired.

So, I see one of my "mistakes" was not considering just how much MORE I needed in finances to really PUT this home back to its original state. I lacked about 5,000.00 back then, and now with other things going on, it is more like 10,000.00  more that needs to be put in... a new roof, the ceiling in many of the rooms really need to be either repainted or redone. The floors in the kitchen, bath and laundry room laid in. The walls that are in the bath need to be some still put in, and/or "mudded" and textured for paint. So, I should have known that without ALL of those funds, trying to "make" this house "look" neat and clean is very difficult, if you still have "portions" that are not yet up.

So, I look around, and even though SO MUCH work was done, and ALL for the most part myself and my husband did it all. From redoing hardwood flooring to painting, texturing, putting in a larger shower/tub, all of the plumbing, still the house no matter HOW MUCH I clean it, to me it looks dirty. I can dust, mop,sweep, do laundry, and almost every day it could be done again. Nothing ever looks "clean". Even though I KNOW it is, when it is "old" stained, and needs replacing, it just never appears to be clean.

Of course, then there were a stove/oven, the refrigerator, the washer and dryer, bed, furniture for the living room, and the list of all of those things, from the "renovation" work, to all of the other items needed to run a home, lawn mower, weedeater, tools... we had to buy a huge array of tools, saws, screwdrivers, wrenches, tree trimmers, you name it, of course if you do lawn work, and work around your home, you know just how many tools that can take. Blinds, curtains, sheets, towels... yes, we had "some" of these after being together for a pretty good length of time, but even those were beginning to show their own signs of "wear and tear".

So, then come along, and I became "chronically ill" - with autoimmune illnesses, that led into many surgeries, doctors, tests, you name it, I went through it. It seemed endless. Then, many of the things I could do, no longer was I able to do, when it came to the DIY around the house. I had both knees replaced, a shoulder replaced, surgeries on other joints, my neck had to have surgery, then I had "double hernia" surgery, not that long ago... thus me being able to even, "mow", do things in the yard as I once did, many things in the house, either I cannot do them anymore, or it takes me 5 TIMES as long as it used to.

My energy level is constantly up and down. The fatigue at times is just horrid. The brain fog, now has "captured" my mind so much, that even trying to write some days seems like it might be impossible.

So, now after being in this home, that we loved, we wanted, we wanted something we could "FIX UP" ourselves... yet, now it needs a new roof, we need gravel under the carport, windows finished in that back room, carpet laid in there, the house needs a painting all over... and again the list is endless .... and again it seems no matter how much I clean, how much I sweep, it seems nothing is ever "finished" or clean.

Texas is known for its "dust" that seems to come from no where. But, there is a constant battle with a grey dust that seems to settle daily on everything. As I said in the beginning, it just seems endless.\

What makes it even worse, I would much rather be here, at the computer, writing my book, so I can get it published. Yet, that always seems to be the "last" thing on the bottom of an endless to do list. So, by the time I reach down and pull up more things to be done, I am too worn out, physically, mentally and emotionally to really put myself into the writing as I want to.

So, now I sit here, daily, wanting so badly for things to just STOP for a few days, stay clean, not have endless errands to run, or things to do like shopping, mail, laundry, cooking, mopping, paying bills... all of that could just be put on hold for a few weeks so I can have some quality time to write...

Right now, it is almost 1 PM. I am on "empty" as far as energy, with sheets to be put back on the bed, and other clothes to be hung up or put away. I need a shower, and I'm drenched in sweat from the humidity. I have already swept, done laundry, mopped, dusted, including under the bed, behind it, and so on, it id trash day and after a holiday and a massive amount of bad weather I had 3 can FULL of not just trash, but limbs, and 4 other huge limbs too large to cut up. In between, I've done some things on line, but I am worn out from these past few weeks of energy.... and it seems there is never a break. I began trying to work on the inside windows in the back spare room. Well, that is going to take time to sand down, fill in so many places with wood putty and then get them ready to paint. After that, they have to be fixed from the outside with the pins and glazing which is very time consuming. I have a total of 5 windows, all of which need that work on them. I actually still have a broken windows from the hail storm last year. I had hail break a window when I was ill with pneumonia, so it is taped up and sealed up the best I can until I can get it measured and have someone to help me put it in. I can, but I need another person to hold it in place, as I can't hold it and pin it at the same time..


So, hind sight is "20/20".... there are so many things I look back on now, and so wished I would have done differently. I can't tell it all here in one post, but from some of my "relationships", to homes, to where I am living in the nation, to health problems, jobs... and TIME to write my book! That is probably THE MOST important thing to me, is to FINISH THAT BOOK AND GET IT PUBLISHED! But, how does ONE person do it all? And then have enough "time and energy" to feel like doing it all, and then spending time on my book daily.


By the time I've been up since sometimes 5AM, and 4 PM rolls around, I am totally exhausted. I wished I had an easy answer... I wished I had any answer.....



Wednesday, April 15, 2015

#HAWMC WEGO Health Writer's Challenge April 16th 2015 - "Life Goal" - Can you Achieve it ot possibly more than one -

The one goal that I've been working on now since I was about 15 years old, is to be an "author and writer" and have my books published.

That had been a goal that I had committed myself to, back then even as a teenager. I guess I really never gave myself a "time frame", but of course it is something that I want to do, and be able to see if what I write helps to make a difference in someones life.

Of course a "portion" of that goal I have already achieved. I had the honor to have not just one, but two of my books published in 2013. They came out about months from one another. Those were poetry and prose. And each time I hold one in my hand, I am so thrilled at the accomplishment I achieved.

Yet, the #1 goal even in the author and writers achievements, is to finally put all of my "life's journey" through the many things I have done, endured, and certainly will have a up close and personal look into my chronic illnesses and pain. I am working on that book, already have "named" it and got a "cover" for it done. I've gotten many of the chapters already completed, so I am on my way to hopefully completing this goal at the end of 2015 or early 2016. I just feel between my blogging, my activist, and advocacy role, and being an Ambassador, I am "giving of myself" exactly what I am supposed to be accomplishing. But, this book is what I hope to truly make others know for sure, they are not alone, they are not crazy, and all they experience it truly not "acceptable" as far as health goes, and we must try to move forward, to achieve victory over Chronic illnesses, such as "autoimmune diseases and others" and chronic pain.

I never fulfilled my greatest "desire" or goal that I had thought might happen very early in my life. That was to be a nurse. I also dreamed of being able to write my own songs, the lyrics, music, and sing them too. I knew a long time ago, I would never be the next "bright and shining" star of the music world, but I can dream about it.

Of course, I've had to "redo" my "course" several times when it comes to completing this 3rd book. I find myself taking on way too many other things that to me are very important. When I allow that to happen, then I have change my course, and get back on track of what I truly feel is the most important, which of course is this 3rd book. I have already decided there maybe yet another to follow it, and give more insight to things I dealt with in life.

        

WEGO Health Activist Writers Challenge!

 

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

WEGO Health Awards Annual Event!!! Please go by and "Endorse" me!

Things have been hectic with everything going on from the holidays, to my own issues with going for check ups, getting my pain pump refilled, getting Jim to a decent, reputable pain doctor (MINE)... and hopefully getting him the medications he needs in order to be able to get up and function without so much horrid pain.


Jim's pain of course, like mine and many others is a complicated situation. After the car accident, he has lots of damage to nerves, to the spinal cord, to muscles, and so forth. So, it takes a combination of medications, not just the "standard" pain meds, to help him. Things like Baclofen, Zanaflex, Gabapentin, are three of the others he needs in order to get the pain of nerve damage, muscle issues like spasticity, under control. Then some regular pain medication for other pain. So, going to the specialist enabled him to get ALL of the meds needed, rather than just "pain meds".

I am still reeling also from the ridiculously stupid incident in Corsicana that I would NOT TAKE my dog to .... the so-called "Oral Surgeon", more like a money hungry greedy, jack ass, that practically ran out the back door, when he heard the lady in the front asking me for MONEY!!! It was "supposed" to be a "free consultation", or at the very least, NO other costs of Xrays. Oh hell no, of course he had to do his OWN freaking Xray, in which my dentist had just done not 3 weeks ago to show the HOLE between my sinus cavity (Maxillary Sinus Cavity) and my mouth. As I've said that was caused due to a very difficult root in an upper molar that was so close to the "boney part" between the mouth and sinus cavity that it actually pulled a hole in between them. It appears in my mouth to be only about like the thickness of a small toothpick. But in the X-ray, it does show a larger "communication" as they call it in technical terms, maybe a 1/2 inch or possibly longer between them. Well, I went down there prepared to set up a "more aggressive plan to fix it" which would entail probably bone implant. I have already had it "sewn" closed initially, then my own dentist did a less invasive procedure that I wished I would have asked for "gas" like I had been with the rest. He had to literally "cut" a flap of my gum and try and put it over the tiny hole, then suture that into place. Hopes were it would "seal" itself over and we would be done... but IT IS COMPLICATED RHIA!!! So "Rhia's Law" NOThING is "simple" with me... always has to be complicated as hell and stubborn, and cost more... and. and, and .... and ... and then more... but the jackass down there basically as far as I am concerned ripped me off of 130.00 and DID NOTHING for me... in fact he was even "wishy washy" ABOUT ME having it "fixed"!!!! How stupid is that, plus he wanted to do the "same thing" that had already been tried and failed... and charge me $2,400.00!!!!!!!... YES Two Thousand Four Hundred Dollars and was going to do it under a "local" and not even gas!!! He is nuts. I watched on U-Tube what "needs" to be done... and I NEED TO BE KNOCKED OUT to do it!!!! It is insanity now days to get anyone to do their damned job as far as physicians, pharmacists etc...

Yesterday, I went to 3 DIFFERENT PHARMACIES, to get Jim's meds filled... and used to if they did not have it, they could order and have it the next day... NOT ANY MORE.... now like WG's told me they only ORDER MEDICATIONS ON THE WEEKEND!!! Excuse me???? No wonder they never have anything in stock... that is crazy!!! Hell not all that long ago, I could go into my pharmacy in Corsicana, my Pharmacist, would GO OUT OF HIS WAY, AND even call around to other pharmacies if need be to get my meds if they did not have them at the moment!!! And this was not a "small" pharmacy, but it was actually Wal-Marts pharmacy in Corsicana!!! He was amazing.

RARELY DID THEY NOT HAVE MY MEDS... and if they did. 99% of the time, they got them that day, if not the next for sure......

Well, I finally had to just get up, get a few things done around the house, that I REALLY DID NOT feel like doing, but I did them anyway... and now I think I may sit down and watch a movie with my puppies....

I am seriously considering writing yet a 4th book. This one will be "fun" for myself and everyone who loves the "colloquialisms" of different states, even different places within a state... accents, the "sayings" we have heard from our child hoo years and so forth. My husband has been on me to actually put ALL that I have and say all the time together and publish a book of them. Thus, I've been putting down many, many of the sayings as I've went through the years. Now, I am trying to think of a really great name for the book!!!! Then I can "register" the title, start on the cover of it, and then it gives me something very "tangible" I can work with. Wish me luck as a venture on out yet into another realm of my life... many good times wrapped around lots of those "sayings" I've heard since I was a young child... this time I think Dad will be (would have been) proud... :):) It will be dedicated to him, because he is the one that filled my head full of them for so many years... :):) More to come..... 


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