I debated as to whether to "share" this with everyone here or not... but I feel I truly need to share "my own family, trials, tribulations, and hope that through my own "life's eyes" you can find your own "spirit" to write, email or tell your family, and extended family that "life" can sometimes be not so great, yet the "hope, faith, peace and spirit" can exist in spite of all that life decides to throw our way..... so here it is....
********** And Here’s A Merry Christmas Straight to You From Texas!*********
I feel as if i just completed my “Annual Christmas Letter” and once again, another year is flying by quickly. It is like with each year that passes, they seem to be shorter in length. Yet, it seems it takes me 3 times as long to accomplish anything!
Age, a subject most of us prefer not to talk about in length. Another thing is that with each birthday celebration, I feel like they come around twice a year rather than once. As I have told my son and daughter, Jason (who is 37), and Amanda (who is now 31), enjoy each moment, and savor all of the memories you can soak in, because as it used to feel when we are young, time seems to “drag” by,
Then we become adults with jobs, families, spouses, and the hectic times we live in, and time just flies by, and sometimes our memories of the good things we have seen, done, accomplished, been through, all tend to fade…
The holiday seasons always tend to bring back so many wonderful memories, of those Christmas’ when the kids were little, all of the decorating, baking, cooking, and parties that I had and went to, and how life gives us a great deal of good times, yet we tend to take them for granted. I know I have at times for sure.
Then with age, definitely comes some wisdom, and as I look back, I have had many “fulfilling” adventures, even though at the time I may not have realized it. Yet, when I think about my trips, whether vacations, with my parents, or with my own kids, or the times I took off on my own, and kind of let the wind carry me away… I always knew my “destination”… but it was always the journey to get there that made it exciting, and finally allowed to me look back and see just how “strong” (emotionally and mentally) I’ve been for the most part in my life.
So, as I try my best to “tap out” another Holiday Letter, I find myself almost as a loss for “words of true spirit” and good things from 2015. There is so much that has happened over the course of 20 plus months to my family and myself, that it will take another small “novelette” to give all of you the details of what has gone on.
The accident in 2014, that Jim, my husband was in, and the lawsuit that followed, finally came to a close the first week in November. Much to all of our surprise, it did NOT end on a “good note” for us. Basically, the jury decided it was NOT the truck driver’s fault (even though he completely ran over the back of our car and never slowed down etc.) and even though the other side tried to say our “car” was not in good shape, (they had someone say that the hood flew up while Jim was driving the car”, which I know and all of us know that did NOT happen, and never would have. My car, was in perfect condition to be on the road, and that hood was completely latched down, and did not just “suddenly” fly up. We have no way to “prove” it, but even our own lawyers tend to believe there was some “hush money”, and these “so-called” witnesses, that happened to have been outside in their yard, on a very busy I-45 coming into Dallas, and at that moment “saw” the hood open… that chances of that, you could win the lottery before that would happen. Yet, we have no way to prove that people lied on the witness stand, and I also feel there was something odd about the “jury”… I felt again, someone had been “paid” to keep their mouths shut, OR rule “no one at fault”… anyway, it left all of us devastated, more than you can even know. That accident has “wrecked” Jim’s life, especially physically, but mentally and emotionally. It totally wrecked my life, harmed my own health, and upset of course Mom, and my two children Jason and Amanda. So, due to a “truck driver” who was “on a cell phone with his brother”, and ran over the back of our car, we still basically “lost” any and all help with Jim’s medical bills, his future needs medically, he is unable to work full time due to what they now feel was more of a concussion than they first realized, he is partially paraplegic, and can walk on a cane some, but needs a wheelchair if it is a longer distance… and more than that, he moved back to Seattle 6 months ago. I am still not even sure why, other than he felt he was a “burden” on me… and that my health was suffering, and I was having to do everything, he could not cook, drive, even get down the steps by himself, and then I had Mom’s things I am doing also… thus we are still friends, and talking, keeping in touch… but whether we will ever “regain” our 13 YEARS together, 10 of those married this year in April, is still yet to be seen.
That is why partially I almost decided “not” to write this Annual Christmas Letter this year. I feel there is not a great deal of “good” that has happened to any of us over the course of 2015. In fact, Mom has not been well, and she has issues with her lumbar spine, and is getting ready to have lumbar injections in the next week or so. My internal “pain pump” also “stalled”, & I need surgery to replace it. But. 4 months ago I came down with two “lumps” one on each upper thigh, originally thought to be cellulitis. After 4 or 5 weeks of antibiotics, I was sent to a surgeon, to “incise” them, and he was NOT the doctor who should have done those procedures. I now have been going to a wound care specialist for 4 weeks in Dallas every week, so they will get well enough I can even have surgery. I also have lumbar/sacral back problems that need surgery, and without my Rheumatoid Arthritis medications, (they took me off them when I had the increase of infections with the cellulitis), so my pain level, without the pain pump, and even on oral medications do not even “touch” the horrid pain I’ve been in now for 3 or 4 months.
Mom also had some issues due to medications, and had some kidney functions problems, that they feel have been cleared up. But, she is also in pain, with her back, and the sciatic pain, but also she at 80 this year is suffering from arthritis pain several places. She had been on Celebrex, but it is the NSAIDS that caused the kidney function problems, so she cannot take any NSAIDS to help with arthritis pain. She is also on some pain medication, and we hope the epidural injections give her some relief from the back and sciatic pain.
Amanda, Jimbo, Heather, James, and Logan are doing well. I finally got to visit with them during Thanksgiving. It had been a long time since we had seen one another, so I was so thrilled that they got to come up, even though it was not long enough. Heather, their daughter will graduate this year, and already has decided to go into the Marines. She wants to be in the medical field, and feels enlisting will give her the education, the discipline and all she needs to succeed in the medical field. I am so proud of all of them. They are a wonderful wife and husband, Mom and Dad, and Amanda is an awesome daughter!
Jason has a new job, working with some electrical devices that he enjoys. So, he is doing okay. He would like to get a bit more established, and get an apartment up in the area where he is working. So, he is busy working to fulfill his goals, and he also plays guitar and sings with some of the local bands in the Dallas area. He really loves the guitar and playing. He has always been so great at that. I love music, dancing, and singing… and wished I had the talent many years ago, to do something in the music field.
But, I do write lyrics, and still practice my singing and playing the drums sometimes. I just bought a pair of boots and jeans (well waiting on the jeans to come in, I ordered them too large, so waiting on the smaller pair to come in), so I can go out and see if I can still “scoot a boot”. It has been a long time, and have not tried since both knee were replaced. So, I hope I can still love across that dance floor.
From all of us, myself, Mom, Amanda, Jason, and family… we wish you a very Happy and Merry Christmas! May the New Year 2016, bring you peace, good health, happiness, and hope. May you be blessed and overflowing with all things good!
Love you…. Pam (Rhia)
"Through my heart's work of writing, I share with you my complex journey a top the mountain, sliding down, crawling up, & living through the realms of Autoimmune Arthritic Illnesses. Taming "The Wolf" Thru each Day... One Step at a Time … Together We Are Learning to Survive. Please follow along, to New Beginnings - looking Thru the Window Pane of Pain in life where we shall find our journey leading us to - New Perspectives
Friday, December 11, 2015
"Sharing" My Annual Christmas Letter with Each of You! - And Wishing you a Wondrous Holiday Season Despite Chronic Illness/Pain,RA,Lupus,FM, Sjogren's and More
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