At this moment my Mother does not know just how upset I am with her. 
But, I totally intend to tell her today! After she had the issues with 
her stomach, and some intestinal issues, she lost some weight, because 
she just would NOT eat! I mean she went for DAYS and would barely eat or
 drink anything! I took Ensure over there, took everything I could think
 of, suggested everything I could possibly suggest, and finally took her
 to our PCP who put her on medication to "increase" her appetite, and 
some new medication they are using for chronic constipation, especially 
from certain medications. She has a lumbar spine issue, and had been on 
NSAID's. That has been going on for months, and the pain specialist even
 gave her Norco to take every 6 hours when needed. Which at first she 
refused to take, until the NSAID"S caused kidney output issues, that 
sent her to a Nephrologist, who took her off NSAID's (which our PCP has 
already done) and cut back her Lasix some temporarily until she had a 
kidney sonogram, which has been done last week, and more blood work on 
Monday next week. Then she follows up with him the first week in 
December. I feel things will return to normal. I feel it was the generic
 Celebrex that caused the issues, and now her kidney functions should be
 fine. But, he made the mistake of coming out and telling her she maybe 
facing Level 4 "kidney output" which means one step away from 
dialysis... I had told this before, and how I reprimanded him for even 
mentioning that word to her before he even knew WHAT was causing the 
problem, and before he even read the chart from our PCP etc... I was so 
mad at him... but MOM will NOT ask questions, she will not speak, she 
just sits there, listens, and then leaves not understanding a word... 
and having 15 questions, she never asked, and expects ME to figure it 
out, explain it, and then even at that she is so totally confused, she 
does not even know "if" she takes her meds now, or "if" she is taking 
the proper meds at the right dose. I cannot say enough that I have 
explained, I have a typed out list, of what she takes, when, how much, 
what it is for, and which doc prescribed it, and she still cannot get it
 right... she blames the pharmacy but she goes in, takes her "bottles" 
rather than calling them in BEFORE SHE GOES... and expects them to have 
them ready immediately even if she has NO REFILLS! Then she gets mad 
when they cannot get them okayed by the doc right then! I have talked 
till I am blue in the face, and nothing goes into her thick skull. I 
spend more time going over there to explain medications, that she cannot
 get straight... and she will do NOTHING for herself anymore. She won't 
leave the house for days and days and days, because it's cold, well it 
is winter! And mu body hates cold weather, and I hurt, am stiff, without
 my pain pump, with two HOLES in my legs, and I have to MAKE myself, but
 I get up and move, rather than lay in bed and mope! I even had the 
doctor put her on antidepressants, she is so totally depressed, and she 
decided her "breathing" was not right. So, she went in to her 
cardiologist, that told her the leaky valve was in such good shape now, 
that she can't even "hear" the leak! She also told her the shortness of 
breath, the weakness, the stiffness and pain is from having stomach 
issues, losing weight and muscle too quickly, not eating, and then now 
not exercising, walking, or something to improve her muscle tone, 
especially in her thighs... that is why she stays cold all the time, why
 she feels weak, and walks "slumped over forward"... and she just walks 
now "shuffling her feet" like she is almost what I see in people with 
very bad Alzheimer's.... So, Wednesday around noon or so, and had just 
gotten out of the shower, and my phone rings... my hair was not even dry
 yet, and she is "mad" again... she let the car sit there for well over a
 week, and did not even start it and let it run, so the battery was down
 AGAIN! And she was "out of everything to eat in the house"... so I told
 her I would finish getting ready, bring the battery charger over, put 
it on trickle charge and let it sit for a day or so, and I would take 
her to the store. Well, we get in there, and all she bought was paper 
towels, toliet paper and facial tissues! Barely anything to eat, but 3 
pieces of "salami" she has sliced, and a small loaf of bread... and some
 already made bisquits and sausage to microwave! I was the one that 
really did not need much, mainly stuff to clean my dentures, BC powders,
 more large bandaid's... but I bought more groceries than she did... I 
bought a ham to put in the freezer, and several other food items... and 
we got to the front to check out, I looked at her and said, are you now 
eating paper towels? I thought you said you had nothing in the house to 
eat? Well, I know what she did... she decided NOT to buy what she really
 needed, because she was upset over the car not starting, and decided 
she would not buy all of what she needed at the time... which was 
totally stupid... here she was, did not even have to carry any of it 
in... I could help her, and griped the entire time about how heavy a 2 
liter coke was, and how everything is too heavy to carry in... it took 
me only 5 years to finally convince her to use the reusable grocery 
bags... that are so much easier, hold stuff better, with handles, and 
you don't have 50 tiny plastic bags that hold nothing to try and deal 
with... anyway, I had already TOLD her at least FIVE TIMES that I had 
the appointment yesterday, in Duncanville, with the wound care 
specialist... and even though I had some idea what they would do, as far
 as debriding the abscesses... I was not totally sure, and had no clue 
how long I would be there etc... I never "asked" her to go, but she knew
 it was a new doctor, something I had never been through before, up in 
the Dallas area... etc... so even when I left her house Wed. afternoon 
again I reminded her of the appt the next day at 1PM in Duncanville... I
 could tell she was NOT going to offer to go... hell she did not even 
want to go to the grocery store, so I knew her not saying anything was 
her way of saying I don't want to go with you... but I called her about 
11:30 yesterday morning. I was leaving at noon... to tell her I was 
leaving, and it maybe later that evening before I could take the charger
 off the car, or even today, Friday before I would get over... well, 
when I called SHE WAS STILL IN BED!!!! Again for over a week, she stays 
in bed until almost NOON! She never did that before! She was always up 
fairly early, may lay back down for a bit if it was too early, but she 
would get up, bake, do things around the house, and so forth.. she may 
sit for a time, but she was usually up and about for at least part of 
the day... now all she does it stay in bed and gripe because her back 
hurts so bad.. but will not take the pain meds as she can to help with 
the pain, and then will admit if she "gets up and stirs" around the pain
 is "better".... but yet, she was still in the bed after 11:30 in the 
morning... and then had the nerve to tell me, SHE DID NOT KNOW ABOUT THE
 APPT. she "thought" I was going back to the "surgeon" in Waxahachie!!!!
 She knew that was NOT true! I had told her when my PCP wanted me to go,
 what I was going to do and see, a wound care specialist, and she had 
been told numerous times it meant going to Dallas... so then I don't get
 home until after 4 yesterday afternoon... so I change, say hello to 
Bub's, and get things back in order and then call her to tell her, I was
 not going to mess with the battery thing until today... it was late, I 
was totally exhausted, and she did not need the car yesterday afternoon 
anyway... and again, she said, I think I have been "out of it"... I did 
not know you were going to Dallas, to this specialist... and I said YES,
 you are out of it, and YOU DID KNOW, because I told you a half dozen 
times, including Wednesday afternoon, again... that I had to go the next
 day and be there at 1PM.. and it was in Duncanville... and then she 
said something about sleeping so much, and again I told her that she is 
suffering from "disuse syndrome" and that staying in the bed and NOT 
DOING as her doctors have told her only makes her more weak, feel more 
pain, and worse health wise and mental wise... and then she said, "well I
 have nothing to do"... BULL, she is always able to find something to do
 around the house, she could have been up, dressed and went with me, and
 at least got out of the house, rather than sleep till noon, and then 
gripe because she is cooped up, cold, and weak, and in pain.... anyway, I
 just bit my tongue on the phone, but I totally intend on giving her a 
good talking to today when I go over... this is totally stupid... to all
 of a sudden lay down and decide to just give up and wallow around in 
your own self pity... anyway, I guess I should not post this here, but I
 am sick of her playing me and I spend more time messing with her stuff,
 and don't think I resent it, I moved back here to "help her".., BUT not
 everything... not all that she suddenly has decided she can't do... I 
already do enough almost daily for her, and the rest (she even decided 
it is too much trouble to go to church)... my Grandmother went to church
 everyday, without fail with her sister... so going to Mass on Sunday 
morning, certainly is not something she can't do anymore... that is just
 an excuse... okay... well enough griping and being disgusted with her 
attitude... I have my own stuff to do... I still have to try and see 
about this bracket on the ceiling fan, along with a billion other things
 I need to do... more later guys and gals....
More on Mom, pain, and wondering if I am LOSING MY MIND! 
I saw it again yesterday... I "told her" 3 times about 
blood work she needs to have done "Monday"... and when I got up to 
leave, she said, I can go by myself "tomorrow" to have the blood work
 done... and we had JUST discussed it was "Friday"! I turned to her ad 
said, well if you think they are open on Saturday, I guess that would be
 fine.. and then I said "Mom, you can't even keep up with the days of 
the week, or what time it is, I am not sure you can go to have lab work 
done yourself... besides I had JUST ALSO TOLD HER that I had the ORDERS 
for it! Sometimes it is so frustrating also... because I just feel like I
 repeat and repeat and remind, and she still just does NOT get it. I 
walked in yesterday, and she was "looking" for something. I asked her 
what she was looking for, and she said you know the "stuff" for... and 
began to make a "circle" with her fingers... I said the "Meclazine" for 
vertigo... and she said yes, and I thought I had a whole new bottle.. I 
looked up and it was sitting on the kitchen cabinet... and I pointed and
 said hey, there it is right there... and she said I don't recall 
putting it there.... I did not know whether to feel badly, or be just 
plain mad... honestly... it gets very old... very quickly, and with my 
own health issues at this moment, and honestly my PAIN LEVEL EXCEEDS 
"10" at this time, and it about 80!!! if that was on the chart... 
everything on me hurts today... everything. and my pain meds did not 
come in yesterday, which concerns me, because the nurse at my docs 
office called Thursday afternoon and said she got them to the 
pharmacy... and they usually get those mailed out that same day, unless 
she did it very LATE in the day, as she does sometimes I think just to 
be an "arse" to put it bluntly.... so hopefully they will be here today,
 I will be out of the strongest ones by Monday morning, really Sunday 
night.. she always does that too, knowing that they come to me from a 
pharmacy in Dallas, she will cut it to the very last moment, and you 
pray you don't run out before your new script arrives... it is sometimes
 just frustrating... LOL... I guess I am a bit upset over everything 
today.... I have SO MUCH to do, and I hurt so badly, everything I try to
 do is just so difficult to contend with... my pain level has not been 
this bad in a long time, but it is surely making up for it right now... 
Through my heart's work of writing, I share with you my complex journey atop the mountain, sliding down, crawling up, & living through the realms of Autoimmune Arthritic Illnesses. Taming & " The Wolf; Thru each Day... One Step at a Time Together We Are Learning to Survive. Please follow along, to New Beginnings - looking through the Window Pane of Pain in life, where we shall find our journey leading us to - New Perspectives.
Showing posts with label "Prisma". Show all posts
Showing posts with label "Prisma". Show all posts
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