New Clinical Trial on Cure Click for Radiation for Cancer

Contribute to #Cancer Research from home!

National Cancer Institute supports this study for #testicular, #ovarian, and #cervical cancer #ad. See if you qualify. http://curec.lk/2vCjOxQ

Research to Better Understand the Impact of Radiation Therapy
The researchers behind the RADIANT study would like to make radiotherapy safer and more effective by developing a blood test that helps doctors predict a patient’s response to radiation treatment based on a patient’s genetics. By identifying patients ahead of time who will or will not benefit from radiotherapy, doctors can use the best treatment possible in fighting the cancer. The National Cancer Institute awarded DxTerity, the study sponsor, a grant to validate this blood test in a larger population of cancer patients.

 

Visit with follow up on my Cervical Neck surgery, and facing Lumbar Sacral Surgery in the near future...

I saw my Neck surgeon yesterday, and I told him that I thought I had "bursitis" in my hips, they both hurt so badly, no matter If I walk, don't walk etc... but he says it is my lumbar/sacral spine, as it has been, just getting worse. 

So, I may try to have my pain meds "upped" just a bit, until at least another 6 weeks. He said my neck is "okay" as far as he sees for now. He said of course he can't tell how "fused" the fusions are, but so far, he told me "I am doing everything right" and to keep doing what I am - 

he told me I could drive with either of the neck braces, and that when I am out in public that I really need to wear one or the other, and to continue to use the bone stimulator, and "hopefully" my neck will fuse, then we MUST take action on my lower back. I've had problems for years, and it is really progressing... the pain is horrible and effects my hips more than anything... they have hurt so badly for the past 4 weeks almost that I just want to scream.... plus I am having other issues that are caused from the lumbar spine issues.... 

So, I know I face that.... but I heard a "little bit" of "hope" yesterday about my neck, yet he is still extra cautious wanting to give it all the time we can to heal properly.

How does one find "hope" when your life feels like the meaning is gone... Chronic Illness, and Chronic Pain how it takes its "toll" on your mind, body, life and soul.

Lots on my mind... I miss "life", I miss what I loved so much, that I feel was lost in "translation" somewhere along the way. I've not had much to say, because I cannot stop the tears from falling. I've been trying to pull myself out of this "funk" but honestly, I cannot find motivation to do much of anything.

Living from surgery to surgery, not knowing from one day to the next what will happen as far as my stupid Lupus, RA and such, not having the love in my life that I had, I feel so adrift, so lost... There is so much to say, but I am so choked up that I cannot even find enough words to type, write, and I feel "useless"... I always had something to look forward to each morning, I always had "plans" dreams, had faith, and all of that has just faded into memories... 

I told a friend this morning that now I know why as much as I love music, I find myself almost unable to listen to it... used to I had the radio on, everywhere, all the time, or the I-pod on walking, and now it's too hurtful to listen to what hurts so deeply in my soul... too many of the very songs I loved, bring back too many memories, and I've lost just about everything that I've ever loved, and held so precious. I used to be able to find a way to pull others out of this kind of horrid emotion, yet I cannot find a way to pull myself out of it... I feel so "forgotten".... and I think that is because I made the mistakes, that made others "forget".... I blame me, for much of that....

All that I "lived for", hoped for, had faith in, over the years the constant concern, over my own health, and my loved ones health... then the surgeries, many, and the severity of pain, sometimes even with medications, it seems it is relentless... and then to think that you may "lose" how far your life has come, fighting to find relief, find great physicians, that understand, and try to help make you more comfortable so you can find greatness in life and love again, could be thrown out by the governmental bodies, that have not one clue what we endure on a daily basis.

If someone would have told me in 2004, that I would lose the love of my life, that I would have to endure so much chronic illness and pain, that I would find myself so lost, and feel as if anything that I was ever "worth" or worthy of, no longer am I worthy or worth anything.... not worthy of being loved, not "worth" the paper either of my published books are on, and that all I hoped to do in the future, to help others, I find I am drowning in so much heartache, that I feel nothing, but pain, loss, and see no way I could help anyone, when I no longer can help myself.

I cannot sleep, I live with severe cold night sweats, and night terrors, ever since my husband left me, just walked out after 13 years, and then my Mom passing away in 2016... I've lost all will to "walk on"... to "look forward"... I stand stagnant, I cannot find the words to express the severity of gloom that deems to cover my heart, my soul with a darkness, that I am not sure I will ever get out of... not a "hole" but just an ever surrounding era of darkness, and each day, I used to think it would get better, things would change, I would find the "light" again. Yet, light only makes it hurt worse.

When i look in the mirror, at myself now... I don't see the "young at heart" 50 plus year old I was... I see the older, lonely broken-hearted woman, that who would want to have any longer? The Sjogren's took all of my teeth nearly 4 years ago... that was one of the things in my life, I never wanted to have to go through... it is a "loss" that makes your reflection in the mirror so different... you feel "older", your feel any "beauty" you had has been suddenly taken away... I used to be overly obsessive because my teeth were pretty crooked, but then when you lose ALL of them... and have to try and endure total dentures, at a young age, they never are "like" anyone says that they are... they are just a total pain, in the mouth, in having to deal with them, in you not wanting anyone to see you without them...


I'm also dealing with a different "medical issue" that I have brought up to my doctors several times, but I've still not really gotten an answer, or what to do about it...


I've been having heck with "nighttime cold clammy sweats"...NOT a "hot flash" but I wake up shivering, my clothes, pillow, and bed sheets completely soaked in sweat. I've also had night mares horribly and have an issue about waking up around 3 to 4 am each morning, and not able to go back to sleep. I had quit drinking coffee because of my GERD, and didn't drink any for about 2 years or more. 

But, recently, even with the heat, I've almost "craved" coffee but only early in the morning. I have mentioned these cold shivering mainly happening night sweats to my doctor several times and really expressing that it concerns me. I don't think it is "hormonal related" because as I said above, it's not like a "hot flash" and 99% of the time they come on in the middle of the night almost at the same time. In fact, the past two nights it's been really bad. I had to get up, get my thick robe last night, and as "warm" as it is, I had to put that robe on and sleep in it, because I was shivering I am so cold. About 2 weeks ago, I had one before I went to bed. I felt it coming on, and it usually starts on the back of my neck or my head becomes suddenly soaked, then the rest of my body follows... so I've done some research and it sounds like "hypoglycemia" but a specific one that usually only happens at night, like this causing a cold clammy sweat that soaks your clothes, sheets blankets and all. Plus the waking up at 3AM is another sign of it, and the night terrors I have can be a symptom. I am a huge fresh fruit eater.

 I try and stay away from high calorie foods, I eat whole grains, and try to stay away from white flour products, but I do love sweets. Yet, I bake my own often using whole wheat flour, canola or coconut oil, Splenda, I've not used very much "sugar" for many years. I've done a great deal of research on different types of flour, and as I said most everything I bake I use whole wheat flour, recently I've tried adding some Coconut flour to a few things, but it is really hard to "adjust" to. You don't have to use very much at all, like a 1/4 of a cup, can take the place of over a cup or more of white flour, or even wheat flour. It gets "thick" very quickly, and I use "egg beaters" mainly. I am not a huge beef or pork eater, but mainly chicken, turkey, fish, beans, peanut butter and even though I love cereal of just about any kind, I usually stick to something like plain cheerios, or some such as that, then add just a tiny bit of some other one that is a bit sweet.... 

What I didn't realize is that "hypoglycemia" can be a precursor to diabetes. With my RA and Lupus, I do have a higher chance of having diabetes, thus I watch the sugar intake, etc... try and walk, exercise daily, of course lately with the neck surgery, it's been rather difficult to do other exercise other than walking, plus I've had so many problems with at first my right hip and thigh the one that was fractured causing pain, and sometimes walking makes it worse, but now both of my hips hurt, and I have to wonder if I have bursitis in both of them. 

I've had it before and had both injected, once or twice at the same time. Since I did not have a "complete hip replacement" after the fractures, but a "gamma nail" and screws i found out I could still have "bursitis" in that hip. I've also noticed especially since the hotter weather arrived, I have a very hard time with my "body temperature" inside. I'm either too "cold" with the A/C on, OR I turn it where it comes on less, then I am too warm... like my body just cannot adjust its temperature.... Has anyone experienced this type of problem with the cold clammy sweats, I mean soaked clothes, sheets, blankets and all... and get up and often my clothes are still damp, even if I got up and changed during the night.... and if so, did you get a diagnosis, or what have you done to try and help it?

The CDC, and others in GOVERNMENT do not KNOW WHAT TRUE SEVERE DAILY CHRONIC PAIN IS LIKE FOR MANY OF US WHO ARE TRUE PATIENTS!!!!!

I am so INFURIATED at the NEWS as well as the CDC, government, and THOSE WHO SO STRONGLY OPPOSE ANYONE NEEDING PRESCRIPTION PAIN MEDICATIONS, that I HAD to get up and turn the channel a bit ago!!! I had turned my computer off earlier in the day due to severe "dry lightening and thunderstorms" BUT AFTER DINNER, I came to turn it back on and state my MIND ABOUT THIS BULL!!! I would LOVE to take ANY ONE of the people from the CDC, from the GOVERNMENT, FROM JUST PLAIN OLD OFF THE STREET folks, AND ALLOW THEM TO HAVE ALL OF MY OWN PAIN, PLUS MANY others PAIN for just ONE WEEK, WITHOUT MEDICATIONS!!!! I don't care how much you "punish" those who need the meds, and there is NOTHING ELSE that helps, THEY WILL FIND SOME WAY, SOME HOW TO GET "HIGH"... whether it is ALCOHOL, OFF THE STREET DRUGS, THAT LORD KNOWS WHAT IS IN THEM, INCLUDING HEROIN, Or anything else they can "use" to get what "WE" the NEED THE MEDS DO NOT GET AND THAT IS SOME KIND OF "HIGH" from them! Other than when I was in my teens and early 20's for sure, AND I COULD NOT GET RELIEF FROM ALMOST 2 OR 3 TIMES A WEEK SEVERE MIGRAINES, that SENT ME TO THE ER MORE TIMES THAN I CARE TO COUNT, and AT THAT TIME, for a while, I felt "something" that was kind of like giving someone an "I don't give a damned" drink, or medication that they may not take very often then YES, you may feel that "high" for a few moments, BUT those LIKE MYSELF, WHO HAVE MULTIPLE ILLNESSES, THAT CAUSE DAILY SOMETIMES SO SEVERE PAIN, THAT MEDICATIONS EVEN DO NOT GET RID OF IT ALL, WE DON'T OR I SHALL SAY I DON'T HAVE A "HIGH" FROM IT! I would GLADLY throw away ALL OF MY MEDS, If somewhere there was a "MIRACULOUS" CURE FOR lupus, RA, DDD, DJD, OSTEOPOROSIS CAUSED BY PREDNISONE, WHICH IS A NECESSARY EVIL, NOT AN OPIOIDS, BUT CAUSES MORE DAMAGE WHICH LED TO MY HIP FRACTURE.... If I could take NSAIDS, or anything else to relieve my pain, I would do it in a "New York minute"... BUT you TAKE AWAY PAIN MEDICATIONS FROM LEGITIMATE PATIENTS, and you will see MORE ALCOHOLISM, THOSE THAT CANNOT WORK, CANNOT TAKE CARE OF THEIR FAMILIES, ARE IN THE ER, HOSPITAL, AND TAKING ILLICIT MEDS THAT LORD KNOWS WHAT THEY CONTAIN... You will see a DRAMATIC RISE IN SUICIDES,, those that LIKE MYSELF, WITH A HEART PROBLEM, IF I WAS IN SO MUCH PAIN, WITHOUT MY MEDS, I WOULD PROBABLY NOT LIVE 6 MONTHS, THE REST OF MY BODY, INCLUDING MY HEART, would NOT be able to take the pain!!! It is a strain not just "where it hurts" but all over, and it effects you mind, the rest of your body and your soul, spirit and takes away all quality of life! One cannot raise their kids, work, or even there would be DAYS, WEEKS, MONTHS SOME WOULD BE COMPLETELY BEDRIDDEN, without RELIEF!!!!! I am SO SICK of BEING PUT IN A STEW POT, AND MIXED IN WITH THOSE WHO "CHOOSE TO ABUSE".... NOT ALL OF US ARE "ADDICTS... I don't take ANY of my medications, NONE FOR SOME KIND OF "ESCAPE OR HIGH" OR WHATEVER those that abuse get... IN FACT, I've NEVER HAD ILLICIT MEDICATIONS, other than at about the age of 23, I smoked a "bit of weed" and I HATED THE FEELING IT GAVE ME, same way with DRINKING ALCOHOL, I don't like the way I feel or that "loss of control" it causes... of course many of us as younger crowds years ago, may have drank too much, or experimented with "not legal things" yet most of my generation did not even know about "illegal drugs" in high school. It was not something MANY OF US HEARD ABOUT OR ESPECIALLY HAD ANYWAY WE WERE AROUND THAT TYPE OF THING".... I fully intend, on when I "SETTLE DOWN" TO GIVE THE CDC, THE GOVERNMENT, BOTH STATE AND FEDERAL, and ANYONE ELSE, a "PIECE OF MY MIND" ABOUT this bull.... you take a couple of states, with doctors who are NOT real doctors, or have "backwards" folks that use everything else also WITH prescriptions, and they with or without those meds would either wind up in the ER overdosed, or would find a way to get what they want, off the internet. or cross borders, IF THEY CHOOSE THAT LIFE, THEN NOTHING ANY ONE ELSE DOES WILL STOP THEM! I AGREE with 'regulation" somewhat, but most CREDIBLE DOCTORS, will NOT cause "harm" to their patients! By any type of medication, etc.... so yes kick out the "bad seeds" but leave those who truly are chronically in daily pain (HELL they were even stating some "SEVERE CANCER PATIENTS" MAY NOT NEED PAIN MEDICATIONS! ... WELL, some may NOT, but I would 'ASSUME" many would never go through chemo, radiation, and continue to want to live if their disease brought them intense, severe, and daily pain!!!!! I am sorry if I OFFEND ANYONE" But I am really perturbed on this subject!

Kratom??? Have YOU heard of it? Used it? Know more about it.

Kratom, it was shown to me by a friend on Facebook, 

 

that swears by it. She said it has totally changed her life, and given her freedom from Chronic Pain, and many of the horrible effects of other medications, she has been able to either cut down on or stop.

There are several "strains" of this "herb"... that is derived from a leaf on plants found in

"Kratom is a plant that takes its origin from several countries belonging to the Southeast Asia. Also, known as Mitragyna speciosa, it is a traditional remedy in Thailand and other nearby countries for several ailments"


The strains are different, and some are used for anxiety, others for pain, stress, to be even a "pep"pill, and give you energy.... each one seems to do something different, and it depends on the type, and how much used for whatever ailment you may deal with...


So, here are a couple of links below and I would LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU!

IF YOU HAVE SEEN THIS PRODUCT, USED IT, KNOW MORE ABOUT IT, PRO'S OR CON'S I REALLY WANTED TO GET INFORMATION FROM THOSE WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED IT!

 THESE ARE just a few links and there are many more, and many about the different "strains" and what they are used for....

KRATOM

http://kratomonline.org/maeng-da-kratom/

http://kratomguides.com/positive-negative-effects-kratom/

 

http://www.phytoextractum.com/buy-maeng-da-thai-kratom-capsules

http://www.mitragyna.com/effects