Monday, February 18, 2019

Keith Urban - You'll Think of Me (Best Live Performance)



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jk1nw4Uoxig&feature=share
How can you not be totally moved in emotion by each and every song Keith Urban sings..... it's like pulling on your own heart strings, and each word is like those that come from your own memories, where the deepest of thought fall, spill, and the glass shatters.... and all that you ever wanted to say, all you ever wanted to have pour from your soul... his voice, his lyrics, his harmony tells it all..




You'll Think of Me
I woke up early this morning around four a.m.
With the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
But thoughts of us kept keeping me awake
Ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms
I've been tryin' my best to get along
But that's okay
There's nothing left to say, but
Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me

It seems the only blessing I have left to my name
Is not knowing what we could have been
What we should have been
So
Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me
I went out driving trying to clear my head
I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left
I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this
And all the baggage that seems to still exist
It seems the only blessing I have left to my name
Is not knowing what we could have been
What we should have bee
Someday I'm gonna run across your mind
Don't worry, I'll be fine
I'm gonna be alright
While you're sleeping with your pride
Wishin' I could hold you tight
I'll be over you
And on with my life
So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me
So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
Take your space and all your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we got nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me, yeah
And you're gonna think of me
Oh someday baby, someday
Songwriters: Darell R Brown / Dennis Joseph Matkowski / Ty Kelly Lacy
You'll Think of Me lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group, BMG Rights Management

Keith Urban - Break On Me (Lyric Video)

Saturday, February 16, 2019

Saturday's Copy of My News Paper! "Life Chronic Pain & Autoimmune Systemic Diseases & Dementia®"

http://news.autoimmunearthriticsystemiclife.com/#/



"Life Chronic Pain & Autoimmune Systemic Diseases & Dementia®"


All aspects of autoimmune/chronic pain illnesses, fighting to survive & grow past them, as I now stand alone to disallow these to get me down.


The latest in health news from pain, RA, Lupus, Heart disease, and all types of other Autoimmune Illnesses... along with other diseases, syndrome's and more. Sign UP on the link to get your copy online daily!

Monday, January 28, 2019

PPMS (Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis) versus MS

Has anyone heard of "PPMS"? (Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis)... I was looking into some issues about a right foot, that tends to "hang" at times walking, no matter what shoes or where I am walking, and it's not like "foot drop"... plus I've noticed I "feel" more "clumsy... which I've always been a bit "off" but I am over the past month or so, feeling like I have this "very slight stagger" not like a "drunk can't walk" thing, but just like I will be walking jut fine and suddenly find myself off balance, or like I am stumbling, but not like someone else may notice it... it has not gotten to the point I would assume, anyone else would see it, but I know it's there... I've always kidded myself about "walk much"?

LOL, because I sometimes feel as if I walk off step to one side for a step or two... but this is more of that, and it's different from anything else I've experienced. I thought at first "it's all in my head" or I've just been so stressed between doctor's the danged shower drain mess, the cold weather tends to make me "stiff" which causes you to kind of feel off balance at times, and that I just have too many "irons in the fire"... and I really wanted to get back to oil painting (I found out that the guy Bob Ross that taught a couple of decades ago on television, all of his series and episodes are on U-Tube, from the very first one.. and I recall Dad used to watch him... he was fascinated how anyone could do that, yet I found out I was quite good at oil painting and want now with these online video's I could do them right here at home... but I also know I need to be working on getting that back room worked on and other things around here, so between putting myself in a place of "what I "NEED" to do versus what I would LIKE TO DO... I just felt I've been in too big of a hurry lately, causing me to be a bit clumsy at times... Anyway, I found several UR's and information on PPMS but I had not heard of it until I found it today... so I thought I would ask any of you if you knew about it....



https://www.verywellhealth.com/symptoms-of-primary-progressive-multiple-sclerosis-ppms-2440696



Sunday, January 27, 2019

Cure Click And Several Clinical Trials, Diabetes, Parkinsons, Uterine Fibroids and Endometriosis, Crohn's Disease and more

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Wednesday, January 23, 2019

COLD COLD and REALLY COLD! Joints, Arthritic Illnesses & such DO NOT like the COLD! Holter monitors, endoscopies & run, run, run...

HOW THE BODY "FIGHTS BACK" WITH Chronic Illnesses, against cold weather, too many errands and on the go too much, feeling lousy, sinus infection, too many "doctor's appts" and life with RA, Lupus, Sjogren's and all the others that follow....


Too much this week again and it's only Wednesday! TWO doctor's appts yesterday, labs, market, the post office (by the way stamps are going up I don't recall when she said but I think to 57 cents a piece).... then to the pharmacy... found out I have a darned sinus infection... so I went to get other meds HOPING that after several hours antibiotics would be ready and they were NOT... so now I have to go out into the COLDER WEATHER TODAY, and pick those up.....


then my cardiologist thinks that since I am having issues over the past couple of months of feeling"blah"... just not wanting to do things and having to "force" myself to cook and clean etc... and it's not like me to not be LOOKING for something to do, BUT this COLD weather, I cannot handle it, it just makes me want to hibernate like our friendly friends Mr. and Mrs. Bear....


so after I "finish" with catch up on two more doctors appts then we will do the 24 holter monitor... my heart rate was 48 BPM in the morning and only 50BPM when I saw her at 4:00 yesterday, so she is now concerned that the lower heart rate "could be" contributing to me feeling just "lousy".... anyway, I have to now reschedule the appt to see the general surgeon to do the endoscopy and talk to him about trying the new "Colo Guard test" and see what it says.


And then I see my Rheumy on Feb 6th, which I think I posted yesterday.... and I was in a hurry so of course I did not recall and get a couple of things on my list... so I have to get out today and get those antibiotics anyway... so I may try to run by the market and pick up the couple of things I forgot... later in the day when it it a "balmy 48 degrees",,, LOL and I STILL am trying to decide about the shower partial clog... actually both were better yesterday, so if I keep on with the dish soap, baking soda and vinegar.. I "MAY" get 'er done myself!"


THIS WAS MY FORECAST YESTERDAY!!! I am giving my "weather forecast" for the next 5 days or so... COLD, RAINING, COLD, COLDER, RAINING AND MORE COLD!!!! OR at LEAST THAT IS WHAT MANY OF MY JOINTS, ESPECIALLY MY HIP THAT WAS FRACTURED IS TELLING ME!



Tuesday, January 15, 2019

Markets' Responsbilities to their PAYING CUSTOMERS! They do NOT care anymore "what or how they sell products"

Asking for "Your Opinions".... If this had or "did happen" to you in your market, how would you feel about it?


I realize there are other subjects, like many of us that are "disabled" and although we go with a disability placard, we may not "look like" something is wrong, oh some days and others we may appear like we feel, and can barely walk. And people are peering at us, or if you have food stamps, and the checkers give us that "look like we are "trash"... or any number of things that as those with "invisible illnesses" may not "go out everyday" appearing as if we are on our "last legs".

As I had explained on a teleconference the other day, we still get those "looks".. like we are "faking" . Yet, below is just as bad, although it's not really about illness or disability, it does effect our "health" or could... if you buy a certain products that are "expired" or contain something "odd" that they should not... those very things can hospitalize or even cause someone to lose their life.


I talk often about the "stress" of life these days. NOTHING is "simple" anymore. Not one day for most people seems "easy" or "without some type of stress. I realize we are our own "worst enemy" when it comes to causing our lives to be entangled in a mess of bills, jobs, technology... so much that was made to make life and stress less, and jobs better, as we "work ourselves" right out of jobs, or the computer gives us "more trouble" than making something quicker.


We have taken away the "human contact" that used to be something we enjoyed. And the "automated" phone calls have just about gotten to where it's impossible to "talk to a "human" on the phone. After 45 minutes of the run a round, from one "voice", music", another voice, another hold, and then they either "hand up" or say "leave a message and they will return your call in 24 hours."


I had posted below on my Facebook page, but it reminded me of another conversation I just had over the weekend, and just how it effects those who are "chronically ill" and all of us.... so I wanted to add it in.



Well ALL of you are in agreement with my thoughts. IF I was a manager or owner of a market, and NO MATTER who the "vendor" was, if my employees saw a product "expired" on the shelves, they would be instructed to bring it to me, or the management, and let the manager handle it when the vendors came in and yes, I agree those vendors must have an "inventory" of stores, what products they leave, what dates those products expire, and it is of course their responsibility to pick those up and replace them. BUT, what irked me yesterday and my problem is this is AN ONGOING VERY FREQUENT ISSUE WITH THE STORE... it is NOT just "one product" it's their "vendors", it is "their own STORE BRAND" and she would not even "listen" to me.... when I was trying to explain, (I had bought two "Mrs. Baird's" pies one cherry and one peach on the 9th. The same day I bought some candles marked down that were marked to 3.88 and had been 7.99 "Frebreeze" brand... which I usually don't buy those, but they were a good price for that, so I bought two of them. I got home, and as soon as I took the little plastic top off of one, a piece of the glass was "chipped" and fell off into the candle. Well, some people may not use those glasses left, but I use the "candle containers" especially the large glass ones with lids for everything.


I have LOTS of them, and they are good for so many things that I put in them... so first of all that chip was where you could cut your finger, or it might "crack" when the candle was burning, plus although this one did not have a "lid" I knew I would find some use for it, so I took it back the very next day on the 10th... to exchange it, and I was going to buy a 3rd one because I did like the way the one I had burned smelled and it burns down "correctly" and it didn't burn up within a few hours... I took my receipt and the chipped one to customer service, and the one lady took it with the receipt and I went to get one to replace it and another one to buy. Well when I got back, another girl, who happened to be the girl that was sacking my stuff the day before with the candles because she even wrapped them in paper sacks so they would not get broken.... and the candle and my RECEIPT and the other woman had "disappeared".... well for the moment, the girl knew about the ordeal, since she was the one that sacked my stuff the day before, so she did an exchange (and by the way when I was back picking out those 2) I picked up about 7 or 8 OF THEM AND EVERY GLASS WAS CHIPPED OFF IN THE EXACT SAME PLACE!


And I even told her, that those were marked down BUT really with those chips in them they should mark them down more... anyway, I get home, and I had NOT opened those two Mrs. Baird's pies yet... so on the 10th in the evening, I did open the cherry one just to take a small bite... I was starving, I had not eaten since breakfast and just wanted a bite until dinner... well as soon as I pulled it out of the box, the "little bit of glazing" usually on them was "gone" as if it soaked into the pie and the crust was almost mushy... so I looked at the expiration date and it was dated JANUARY 7TH, 2019!!! I had bought it on JANUARY 9TH!!! So then I "look at the date on the peach one" and it was dated for a couple of weeks ahead BUT I open it up and took a small bite and it had 'NEON LIKE PINK STUFF" right inside the crust in places...!!!


I even looked to make sure I had not touched something and did it myself, but no I had just washed my hands and there was NOTHING like that to get on that pie! So, I boxed both of them up and took them back on the 11th!!!! Well the woman that waited on me has worked their since "grass" started to grow LOL... forever... and RATHER THAN LISTEN TO ME because I was going to mention the expired yogurt, the fruit with gnats all over it, fruit with mold on it, expired bread, and other things, cheese I had bought shredded that should have been good until Mid Feb. and got mold on it by the 3rd 2nd week in January, and just a number of things they either DO NOT STOCK ANYMORE, OR NEVER STOCK ENOUGH, or it's expired AND NOT JUST ONE BRAND, IT'S THE STORE BRANDS STUFF, ALONG WITH VENDORS STUFF ALSO... and she kept saying "do you want two pies" or what" I finally said NO, I WANT MY MONEY BACK! She did NOT want to even hear a word, blamed it ON STRICTLY THE VENDORS AND SAID IT WAS NOT THEIR JOB, and the people behind me I am sure heard it all, and she did not LIKE the fact, I was griping about their stuff. I took my 2.00 and left to pick up something I needed...


Well, I walk back to where there are some "Bimbo baked goods... and I picked up a couple of different ones because they had them marked 3 for 3.00 IF you BUY 3! Well, EVERY ONE WAS EITHER OUT OF DATE BY 2 OR 3 DAYS, OR WAS GOING OUT OF DATE THAT DAY OR THE NEXT!!!!! I sat right there and I am sure anyone close heard me say, YEAH AND I GUESS IT'S NOT THESE EMPLOYEES OR MANAGERS RESPONSIBILITY TO SELL OUT OF DATE MERCHANDISE THAT COULD MAKE SOMEONE SICK! I was so pissed... there fortunately was only 3 things I needed and it took me 15 minutes to FIND THE DAMNED DATES ON THEM! THAT IS ANOTHER GRIPE OF MINE... THE manufacturer's either put those expiration dates OVER THE OTHER WRITING, OR SO SMALL YOU CAN'T FIND IT, OR IN THE SAME COLOR OF A COLOR ON THE LABEL, anything to "HIDE the damned date stuff expires" because they do not WANT US TO FIND THOSE DATES!!!!

Friday, January 11, 2019

Autoimmune Illnesses(& Other Diseases) & the Worry over whether you pass down the "genetic" makeup to your Children


After ME getting through the Christmas holidays and New Years starting without some type of "accident", being ill, or having a major disaster as has been the past sEVERAL holidays for me.


...my washer and dryer going out last year, year before fell and broke my hip in two places two weeks before Christmas, before that my Pain Pump went out and I had to have surgery to get it replaced between the New Year and Christmas Holidays, and the LIST of what seem to be "mishaps" go on and on around the holidays.


So, once January 1st, 2019 rang by and the 2nd came, I took a "small breath of relief" thinking just "maybe" I made it through. Then the phone rings about 5PM on New Years Day. I saw it was my daughter. Which immediately concerned me because they had gone to their deer lease for the weekend. So, either they were calling to "brag" about a big buck one of the Grandsons got OR something was WRONG! they barely have cell service out there so I knew things were causing them to be closer to town.


It was my daughter, and her first words were, "Mom, don't get freaked out", and of course I thought OH MY, what has happened, My daughter had turned in their travel trailer that morning to hand over some plates of food to the kids, and somehow tripped and landed right on the top of her left arm and shoulder! She had already been to the ER (so I knew it was not good), and I ask her good gosh, you are not having surgery? She told me the shoulder was "shattered" into several pieces, they had sent her to the larger hospital in Corpus Christi, and it was overflowing due to a massive pileup of a wreck, and all of the nurses, surgeons, doctor's were tied up with extremely critical patients (of course my daughter's was also crucial), but they did a CT scan, and sure enough it was "shattered" into about 4 pieces, broke off" the "ball" of the shoulder, then it was in pieces basically. But, no Orthopedic surgeons were available, for one the major holidays, for two the car accidents and other things that arise during the holiday season, so they put a sling on it, told her NOT to move it if at all possible, and they would get hold of a surgeon the following day to see her. Well, I went ahead and looked for the BEST Orthopedic surgeon, who SPECIALIZED IN SHOULDERS, because after my ordeal with the shoulder replacement, and finding out there is a "shortage" of shoulder specialists, I wanted to make sure she got into the right type of physician.


Sure enough I found one that even did "reverse shoulder replacements" like the one I had, that I thought I would NEVER FIND A SURGEON who could do one... so I knew from his ratings, his schooling, he was a bit younger, so he knew the latest types of things, and she went to him. BUT, she could not even get in to see anyone till that Friday!


She and my son in law really liked him, other than his price for a visit. Because since it was "shattered' BUT NONE OF THE PIECES had "moved out of place" they were just as they should be just broken away from one another, he decided it would be better possibly to "wait" for a couple of weeks, and see if it would begin to heal on it's on. My daughter is 35 years old, so if she could avoid surgery, she may not have as many issues with another surgery to take out plates and screws, and then scarring down the line, and I am sure as time goes on she may have issues with pain, range of motion, arthritis etc, BUT hopefully later when she is older.


At first I was upset that he did not do surgery. Then when I thought about it, I felt it made sense, Plus this meant he is not some "cutting" surgeon, who wants to do surgery first thing rather than trying something else to "avoid" surgery.


BUT, what CONCERNS ME..... IS THAT SHE IS ONLY 35 YEARS OLD, SHE DID NOT TAKE THAT HARD OF A FALL, OR HIT ANYTHING, ETC, SO WHY DID THAT SHOULDER BREAK, AND ESPECIALLY SHATTER LIKE THAT????


My st thought IS THAT OSTEOPOROSIS, RUNS ON MY SIDE OF THE FAMILY, ON MY MOM'S SIDE. I have had it for a LONG TIME, WAY BEFORE THEY CHECKED FOR IT, FOR YEARS, Which may have led to all of my joint problems, etc. so early in life,  I HOPE he thought the same thing also or SHE TOLD HIM, like I asked her to do. My FEAR IS THAT ARE MY SON AND DAUGHTER GOING TO POSSIBLY "SUFFER" FROM SOME OF MY OWN HARD ILLNESSES DUE TO GENETICS?????


I went for years and years like many, with "arthritis" at the age of 30 or younger, no one bothered to "check" or see what could be going on... they just did surgeries, and "fixed" what tore all to heck, and just said I had "bad joints"..... Never found the Lupus, RA, Sjogren's, Osteoarthritis, and so on... that I may have "hereditarily" received from possibly BOTH sides of the family.


Of course back in my 20's, 30's and even 40's doctors tended to think "women" were "cry babies" and we just "made things up" and could not handle a little pain (WHAT ABOUT HAVING 2 CHILDREN NATURALLY WITH NO PAIN MEDS)... AND THAT IT WAS "all in our heads" etc. Lupus was "barely" heard of, or RA, etc. I am sure the information was out there, BUT they had no "specific" way to check for it... which still today, it's not really all that easy to "find from blood tests" etc.


So, now I am so concerned my daughter may have "osteoporosis" or the start of it. I asked her to please mention it to the doctor when she was there. From what I have seen and researched, since she is that young and she did not take a very severe fall or MVA, etc... this is an unusual type of fracture, it's in "4 pieces" the proximal humeral fracture" with the 4 part type...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZO-fWOlFGE




Friday, December 28, 2018

May you Be Blessed with a Precious, Happy, Healthy, and Wondrous New Year of 2019!



Happy Happy 2019



Wishing for YOURS to be one of good health, wonderful memories, new memories, family, friends, and full of "great surprises"... and not as the end of mine of 2018 has been....



Well, hope 2019 GETS BETTER! The "end" of 2018 has been yet another one for the records, my shower drain has been clogged now for 5 or 6 days, and I've tried everything. I could not find an "old fashioned" type of plunger, so i had to run to 3 places in town till I remembered a hardware store right downtown who keeps EVERYTHING!!! They have been there forever, and keep any and everything especially for the older homes here in town, so I got that, I tried salt, baking soda, vinegar, Dawn dish soap, hot water, bleach, (not all at once of course) and it is not completely stopped up, and it's strange because never have I had issues with my drain on my shower.... it's just odd... well, so it has to be just where my toliet pipe and the drain for the shower pipes meet...because if the shower clogs, I can "plunge" the toliet and then the shower will finally drain... but if I don't let it go down for a bit, then it does not "flood" the toliet, but will back water up in it and "gurgle" and I can plunge that, and it all goes down... so that is ONE issue.... 


a few weeks back, I got a letter from the IRS, about taxes I filed in 2016!!!!!! for the 6 months after Mom passed away... there was not much there, because I did not really "take money" but what little I got was "invested" so I just had a bit of interest to file, which I usually don't file at all because I never even come close with my SS to make enough to file.. but due to the passing away and the stuff with her things, I knew I needed to send in and file mine also for that 6 months, well THEY SCREWED UP OR I DID, the company sent me a form showing, some funds that were "not income" and were supposed to be just a bit of interest like 125.00 and due to the way the financial people sent it in to me, stating this was NOT income (the money invested) they did NOT file it "as income" to the IRS, BUT I guess I missed a form, that should have showed that along with the other forms I filed that did show the interest, and the Form B (I believe a Form D) is also what should have went in, SO the iRA tells me I owe almost 500.00!!!!! which I knew was wrong... so I sat down, got all of my 1099's, all of my other forms from everyone, wrote a letter, sent in the Form D partially done, and asked them to "re-figure" from the forms from the investment company... 


well that has been 8 weeks ago, and I got a letter a couple of days ago stating they GOT my paperwork, they are going over it all, that I don't need to do anything at the time, and they will contact me in about 6 weeks... so I think I am correct, BUT it's the IRS.... so who knows.... they my deep freezer (I had a very small chest type one) that I had hell with the lid not being correct, and they came out three times replaced the lid and even put a new one on, where the hinges are on the back of it, they never held tightly enough and ice would build up down from them inside the freezer after a few weeks... anyway, they never did get it right, but I gave up, kept the one they sent me... it worked fine I just had to watch to make sure the ice didn't build up too much, but a couple of weeks ago, I moved it to get ready to redoing, painting that backroom and thought the old carpet back there felt "damp"... at first I thought it was just the cold, but then I knew it was not "soaking" wet but damp... so I defrosted it, which there was not much in it, found a piece of ice in that drain, I read that could have caused the problem, and figured I would plug it in, 


watch it and see what happens, well it still felt "damp" to me... and I put a mat under it, so I could better watch it and see if I was feeling just "humidity" and cold or actually wet... well, I turned it off, and it said there could be a small "hole" causing a leak that is not hitting the pan under it, so I knew that a couple of times, I had let a huge hen, etc "drop" being so heavy and hit the bottom that it could be a pin hole somewhere, so I "sealed" off any and every place that could have been either a tiny dent, or where maybe the aluminum appeared to maybe have came loose a bit just with age... plugged it in, and I "think" it's okay... it is fine and been freezing, I am not worried about that, but I don't want it seeping water slowly on the carpet, so I did put a mat that keeps it from doing that under it, and am going to watch it for a few days, then put a couple of things in it to see what happens... okay, so then my big light in the back that has a sensor on it for movement suddenly began coming on and off, or staying on for hours etc, and then even came on during the day, so I even turned off the breaker, got up there and made sure everything was pointed correctly, etc... and read sometimes just turning off the breaker and resetting it will remedy the problem, well it did for a few days then it went to doing the same damned thing... 


SO I've had a new one here for a long while, I planned to put on the other end of my house, and I had not gotten around to doing that, so I've been trying to get between the weather, being stupid, raining too cold, or HOT ENOUGH THAT YELLOW JACKETS, BEES AND RED WASPS come out if the weather gets a bit too warm, so either I don't want to fight them, or it's too cold, or too rainy, I finally took out the big halogen bulbs and put in small CFL's for now, so I am not using up a whole wad of electricity on those huge bulbs until I can get that new one up....I had 4 dr's appts from about the 2nd to the 4th week of THIS MONTH, which I went and had my pain pump refilled and called and rescheduled the others until after New Year's, it was too much and especially with the weather and traveling people during the holidays to go to Dallas for a couple of them, so I postponed those...then due to the issues I had with the "prep" for the colonoscopy, I cancelled it, long story, but I cannot do the "prep" the way they want me to, they now want you to drinks 2 32 ounce Gatorade's with 7 DAYS OF MIRALAX IN THEM EACH WITHIN 6 HOURS OF ONE ANOTHER, plus fast which is fine, and then take another pill with it, well I won't go into what happened, but I cannot do that and I won't.... I had a colonoscopy 10 years ago, and did a prep for it. I now they used to use "Go-Lightly" etc but this thing with 14 DAYS OF MIRALAX WITHIN LESS THAN 24 HOURS IS CRAZY!!! 


It made me so sick, I had to cancel both the endoscopy and the colonoscopy... SO I was going to reschedule the endoscopy, which all you do it not each after midnight for that one, and forget that damned colonoscopy for now... well I did one of those "occult cultures" for the colon a few weeks back. I get a phone call from the doctor's office that does the scopes 2 days ago saying that my PCP called and said that the "occult test" came back with "blood showing" in the colon so NOW THEY WANT THAT DAMNED TEST AGAIN!!!! WELL, I TOLD THE nurse I would call AFTER THE NEW YEAR'S HOLIDAY, AND COME IN TO HIS OFFICE AND WE WILL TALK ABOUT THE ENDOSCOPY WHICH I WAS GOING TO DO ANYWAY, BUT we will have to figure out something else on the colonoscopy OR I WILL NOT DO IT!! I refuse to go through what I went through about 8 weeks ago again.. and I know there is probably something else, but between weather, drains, lights, doctors, tests and just bull, 2019 BETTER BE BETTER!!!! I AM so sick and tired of crap.... I feel like my New Year is now even here and I am already cursed!

Saturday, December 15, 2018

2019 - "Doing What YOU LOVE", dishes, laundry can wait, friends passing away, & making sure life does not pass you by...

Great "Lessons" from an awesome writer... I am giving thought to also "rewriting" my two published poetry books.  I want to make them "shorter" and have 4 or 5 "shorter" poetry books. And within those, add some of my Dad's "sayings" that I have here. I had thought I would write a book of his sayings all on its own, but I think it would be more interesting to "add them" into the poetry books.

As I do that, I "hope" to get myself motivated to get up off the sofa at 3 or 4AM every morning and rather than cook, bake, clean, do laundry etc... take that "early" time of quiet and try and put use to it by getting back into where I've just left off with my writing. After all that happened, with Jim's accident, all of my surgeries and illnesses, then Mom becoming ill and passing away so suddenly, then me falling within 6 months fracturing my hip in two places, losing two of my fur-babies in between all of that, and all of the "other crap" of life, I've kind of been "lost" from the things that I loved to do,... the writing, the painting, yet also my "body" at times won't allow me to sit long enough to write (type) and just the 1001 things that tend to interfere... and 'sound like excuses"... and maybe some are, but also, it's very difficult as many of you know to go through "harrowing" issues, and try to do what you love to do... so as the new year is upon us and I've given thought to just how quickly life has flown by. All of the wonderful memories of my own childhood, my Grandparents house with my Aunts and Uncles, cousins... all of that seems like it was just yesterday.


We were in Elementary school, with programs, and the wonderful times that our lives were "simple"... we didn't have to be concerned about getting "harmed" at school, or someone taking us for all kinds of horrible reasons... we could ride our bikes, I rode mine all over town by the time I was about 14 or so, never gave a thought about someone running over us. We could go out to eat, to the Mall, to the movies, out at night to ball games, we didn't have to "worry", things were simpler.... so, now just what seems such a few shorts year later and life is ANYTHING BUT SIMPLE, EVEN FOR OUR OWN KIDS!


So, before I blink again, and I can't see (my eyesight is really getting bad the double vision seems to get worse by the month), or I can't type, or hell half the time I can't keep my thoughts straight now at times... i should "do what I love"... take the time to not worry over the leaves in the back yard, or a tree limb hanging too low... or the roof of my house looking like it "may leak" when for now it's not... so as I enter hopefully a new phase of living, I hope you also find that spot to say, " I'm going to do something I LOVE", and that load of laundry can wait till tomorrow......


https://www.businessinsider.com/stephen-king-on-how-to-write-2014-8?utm_source=copy-link&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=topbar&utm_term=desktop