Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts

Monday, February 18, 2019

Luke Bryan - Roller Coaster (Lyric Video)


Another one of those touching songs that can bring back so many memories, feelings, emotions, and wondering where either things were so "right" or where they went SO WRONG! Since I met my now "ex" in Seattle WA, this song really hits me about the beach... I lived right at the "Sound" the inlet that you could see from just about anywhere in Seattle if you were high enough, and it was always beautiful. We met there after first meeting online, talking on the phone, and then Memorial Day 2003 we met there on Alki Beach. At first honestly, I thought "he" was not "right" for me... and within a few dates over a couple of weeks,  it hit me just how "right" it did feel being with him. I couldn't imagine him "not" in my life... thus our journey began...romance, dating, and doing so many awesome things in and near Seattle. When my lease was up on my apartment that September, I decided to "move in" with him and his friend, and they lived right over the water down in South Seattle... in Renton... 4th of July had been a blast at their house, and the holidays were wonderful... he loved to cook, and I course love to bake, so we had an incredible time cooking during the holidays... after his company closed the doors where he had been working, and we thought they would "move him" with the rest of the company to Florida. We got to go for a week, and I fell in love with Hollywood FL! I never wanted to leave...

Later due to jobs, my Dad passing away... we moved to San Pedro CA, again with the best weather, wearing shorts in October, and right at the ocean front not even 8 blocks away.... So, you see why "beaches, sand, and oceans" all have a place in my heart....

This song just stirs up all of the feelings that I "thought" I had gotten over, I had healed, since to this day, I have no real clue why he left... lots of things in between those 10 years... but nothing I thought would ever break up apart... we were "sewn together" at the hip.... 

Alas things changed, and I have too. I lost my Mom now, and most of the family are gone, other than cousins... and my two grown kids... 

Love has made me soar, and it's shattered me to pieces, like shards of crystal from a wine glass ... and I keep wondering.. my thoughts are that I have "had my chance(s) at true love" and for some reason I just can't get it right... So as my heart bleeds, and my body aches... my mind is reckless, and tossed around.. each day I try and "find a reason" to pick myself up and find something to do....


Keith Urban - You'll Think of Me (Best Live Performance)



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jk1nw4Uoxig&feature=share
How can you not be totally moved in emotion by each and every song Keith Urban sings..... it's like pulling on your own heart strings, and each word is like those that come from your own memories, where the deepest of thought fall, spill, and the glass shatters.... and all that you ever wanted to say, all you ever wanted to have pour from your soul... his voice, his lyrics, his harmony tells it all..




You'll Think of Me
I woke up early this morning around four a.m.
With the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
But thoughts of us kept keeping me awake
Ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms
I've been tryin' my best to get along
But that's okay
There's nothing left to say, but
Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me

It seems the only blessing I have left to my name
Is not knowing what we could have been
What we should have been
So
Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me
I went out driving trying to clear my head
I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left
I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this
And all the baggage that seems to still exist
It seems the only blessing I have left to my name
Is not knowing what we could have been
What we should have bee
Someday I'm gonna run across your mind
Don't worry, I'll be fine
I'm gonna be alright
While you're sleeping with your pride
Wishin' I could hold you tight
I'll be over you
And on with my life
So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me
So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
Take your space and all your reasons
But you'll think of me
And take your cap and leave my sweater
'Cause we got nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me, yeah
And you're gonna think of me
Oh someday baby, someday
Songwriters: Darell R Brown / Dennis Joseph Matkowski / Ty Kelly Lacy
You'll Think of Me lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group, BMG Rights Management

Friday, December 29, 2017

May The New Year of 2018, bring a renewed peace, better health, less stress, added hope, and a feeling of "life worth living" to all....

My hopes are that everyone had a wonderful Christmas holiday, and everyone got to where they needed to be both going and coming, without delays from weather, illness or anything else...
I also bid you a very Precious and Special 2018! My heart has hope, that we find Tranquility, A Faith to withstand and to triumph over evil and those who wish harm upon others. May there be a LIGHT that adds warmth to your soul, and may we all find the beauty in all things....

I realize that MANY of us had yet again, a "terrible" 2017, whether it be family, loss, health, jobs, finances, or "harm" from others, most of us will try and find that renewal of faith come midnight 2017/2018...


Wishing each and every one of you a SAFE, HAPPY, and GRAND New Year! My hopes and prayers are that WE as a person, as families, as friends, as workers, and as a state and nation find more hope, more peace, less stress, and a brand new outlook on our lives. 


I "try" to always find "hope" deep down inside this time of year. I am not "one" to have a "New Years Resolution" list, but a I usually have a "few things" down that I might like to "try" if I haven't done it before, "OR" change an old habit, find a new friend, or a new hobby, pray that my health gets no worse, and wish for peace most of all, in these times of trials, tribulations and suffering we see or hear about almost daily... May we be blessed with a New Outlook...


Wishing you much in blessings, hope, strength, better health, family, friends, jobs and so much more....


Saturday, May 13, 2017

Wishing ALL of the Mom's Grandmothers, Step Mom's, & Each and every Lady that has"been, felt and feels like a "Mom" - Happy Mother's Day!



Wishing Each and Everyone of the Mom's Out there a Very Happy, Joyful and Wonderful Mother's Day!!! All MOM"S are truly SPECIAL!!!!

Know You have blessed so many with your kindness, love, caring, and all that you give every day unconditionally!!!

 

A Mom's "job" is never done. Once we are "Mom's" that is our lifetime commitment. No matter how old or young our kids or we are, it is truly a lifetime of love....

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

A Letter to children (mine included) if something happens such as Alzheimer's or Dementia to me....

Here is a wonderful but hard to think about article with a "letter" to their Children from someone who thinks about Alzheimer's and what they want to share with their children....


And after witnessing what this horrid disease did to my Granny, my Papa and some with my Dad, and now what it is doing to my Mom at such a rpaid rate... a woman that just 7 months ago was just waiting for my two abscesses to get well enough so we could go to Winstar for a night, that now cannot turn her washer, dryer, microwave, TV, or just about anything "on" or use it... has no clue how to "drive" her car, & cannot recall how to take her medications, but also I have watched her go down in physical appearance, she is shriveling up to nothing, she barely eats, but will right now drink the Ensure's and drink Diet Drinks, and she NEVER used to like any type of soda that much, she has not put on "street" clothes in months, she "cut up" her card to the Casino, lost her SS card, her Medicare card, 3 credit cards within 2 weeks, can't pay a bill, or make out a check, has no clue what any of her bills mean, and even though I have just about all of them on auto pay, two of them I am going to have to put on just emailing them to me, she was almost late on one this past week. I did not know she got it in the mail, and finally she happened to show it to me, many days she is almost bedridden, thank goodness yesterday was BETTER, for a change... she was up and out of the bed yesterday, and was "more alert' and understood more, although again, I had to start her washer, then put the clothes in the dryer.... she thought her money was "running low" and I told her Mom, you are NOT spending any money, other than your regular bills, so nothing is wrong with your finances... she cannot recall the day, month, or day of the week most of the time...
 I have never seen her home as in a disarray as it is now... and even her, she no longer barely cares for herself in appearance, and I feel does not care to.... anyway that is just a few things that Lisa Lisman Walker, you totally understand and more, and you helped me so much... I am now more aware of why or why not on some of the things she is doing... plus Mom is also in chronic pain too... I feel it is her lower lumbar spine, plus arthritis in other places also... she had it already in her hands and so forth, but with her back, and she has some stenosis, some discs that are not good, and bone spurs etc... but the only thing they can do is give her medication... they did one round of injections, but unless she gets a bit better mentally, I do not think she would even think about going back for those... and she cannot take NSAIDS due to kidney functions... so she will be on medications the rest of her life... and if she does not take them as she should, then it puts her in bed worse due to the pain.... 
SO, THE MESSAGE HERE IS... this "letter" is also to my two children Amanda Batson- Matheny and Jason Harber - I will write you both to tell you many of the things this woman says in hers... IF I EVER GET THIS HORRID DISEASE... just put me in a special "home" for these types of patients, especially when I am getting this bad... because I NEVER would want either of you to have to deal with me in this capacity... I am trying my best to keep Mom at her home, and feel it is "too late" to try and "build on" to put her here with me... plus I feel she would not be happy, if we did... if I can keep her in her home as long as possible, with the help of Home Health Care, Meals on Wheels, and myself, then I shall do that... but I want you both to be able to always LIVE YOUR LIVES...Mandi, with your family, and Jason, you also... you have a life ahead of you, and you may too have a wife, and someday kids if you chose that route, and I do not want either of you to have to deal with what I see and hear daily. I want you both to remember that I love you both too the "moon and back" twice, and that if it came to me being like this, I still love you and I would understand if you could not yourselves take care of me... do how I am doing Granny, and let me stay with my own home and puppies, as long as I can... and if with help from Home Health care, and so forth, I still cannot be "alone" then I want you to put me where I can be cared for, but not have to be a "burden" in your lives.... I love you both and miss us not being close, "physically" as to where we live, but that does not change the fact that I love the both of you more than life itself.... Mom Rhia Steele "All things Autoimmune"

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Happy Valentine's Day! to All! I wish everyone a Day of Reflection, of Love of Yourself, and of someone else, if there is another love in your life...

As the "day of Valentine's comes Around, no matter Well, Sick, or Somewhere in the Middle, we either have a Love of Our Life, Or Maybe wishing for that love or find ourselves in a place of not being sure. 

Whether anyone is "separate" from you and you find love there, "ALWAYS REMEMBER TO LOVE YOURSELF FIRST"!


We all too often especially those of us with Chronic Illnesses and Pain think we are "not lovable", but that is just not true. Love can come in so many, many different ways... yet to find you love yourself, shall bring love to your life, whether friends, family, or that special someone, you are truly Special.

I wish each of you a very special Valentine's Day! 

And thank each of you for coming to my blog and "supporting" me by reading my blog, and hopefully learning something at times also....

Rhia

Sunday, January 3, 2016

Starting 2016 The New Year Off Right! Lupus, Joint problems, Surgeries, Pain Pump Replacments, Cervical Disc Surgeries, & Seeing the "Positive" Side of a New Year.

Morning Everyone! Well, I must say, I know there are MANY, MANY of us that are GLAD to see 2015 come to a close. Gosh, the number of people that I've came in contact with both on Facebook, and here in my hometown, that have either endured so much loss, or have been extremely ill, in the hospitals, had surgeries, have had major issues with Lupus, RA, Heart problems.... Sjogren's and the list just continues.

I know I face, (now the the 1st one the pain pump replacement surgery is done) at least one surgery. I have to have that cervical disc above where my doctor repaired the others (he is kind of wishy, washy but I think it's probably C-2-C-3.. not sure but am going to look it up. He did an X-ray and saw that I have a disc, at least one, that is 80% "collapsed" which is causing all of the severe neck, shoulder blade, and down my shoulders, into my arms, wrists and even thumbs... pain... at times it is almost unbearable... if I drive even to Dallas about 40 miles or so, it hurts so badly... so I know that has to be dealt with.

Also, the lumbar/sacral disc at L-5 (I think) and S-1, anyway, right at the bottom of my lumbar spine where it begins my sacral spine is also a mess... plus I have some issues with the "opposite" of scoliosis, where my spine tilts "inward" rather than outward... and I've had a "sway back" all my life... so that is certainly not helping but I don't think there is anything they can do about that, but he can fix the disc down there.

Once those things are done, and then I can go to my Rheumatologist, and we re-evaluate all of my medication for RA/Lupus etc... and possibly make some changes then I may begin to see some positive changes for me as far as function of what I can do, and lesser pain, hopefully.

So, even though I "make" A New Years "change things" list... some of it is more those types of things, so I can again have some quality of life...

I also know we must "deal" with my Mom, and all that has been going on with her.... she is much better after the injections into her lumbar spine, which is awesome, but the issues about possibly having "dementia", or worse, ALZ, have to be looked in to...

Other than that, I want to be able to do MORE of my advocacy work, and get back to cross my fingers, eyes and toes, of finishing my book... I've been trying for 2, almost 3 years now, and was on a roll, then between the accident with Jim, the lawsuit, trial, illneses, my teeth and losing those, then Mom being sick, it seems I cannot either find the time, or have enough "energy" to stay and type on it. I have some other things that I had not thought about that I am adding to it. When I was telling one of my high school friends I grew up with about my "home life", when I was young... she told me that I really needed to address those in the book. They in themselves caused me to "think" and do, or not do things throughout my entire life. Nothing that Dad did that was "bad... he was a great Dad, BUT his being over controlling, even when I was in my 30's, and him trying to "help" but he was also trying to place things that he went through during the depression, "on and in my life"... and thus things like me marrying much too young etc... all have had a very prominent effect on how I've lived, and the things I've done, and why I didn't do some of the things I so wanted to do....

I inend on giving YOU, my BLOG READERS much more "facts" and information about "All things Autoimmune"... I hope to really ADD some very important issues, from medications, from how the government effects our lives, about the latest things to get help. hopefully get more people involved in GOOD clinical trials (I know people that have been truly amazed in clinical trials) and work with WEGO, The Arthrhtis Foundation, With the Pain Foundations, plus others such as the Lupus, Sjogren's, RA... and more things that can help YOU as patients, caretaker's. family, friends.... to understand the way these illnesses effect each and every part of a life, from physical, mental, emotional, spiritual... and why "we" do or do not do, things.... due to often "invisible" illnesses and pain....


One for instance, I had "major surgery" last Monday. I had my pain pump that "stalled" replaced. I am really not supposed to be doing much of anything, BUT I am by myself for now, so there are things I must take care of... and can't wait... So, I had not been to the market in a week, and needed a few things... NO, I was NOT feeling the best, but I got dressed, "forwent" the makeup, and went to the market. Well, I was not "moaning" in pain, or even acting as if I had "surgery"... the only things I did do, is ask the guy bagging my stuff to keep my "bags" light this time, because I was not supposed to life anything over 5 pounds, and was not supposed to use my arms over my head... well there are MANY things a person needs to get, reach, etc... and it calls for putting your arms over your head..

Of course I got home, and I was "good" I did bring in one bag at a time, rather than grabbing several, as usual... and tried NOT to do anything he told me NOT to do... yet, people around me in the market, unless I "told" them would have never known I had "surgery" or that I was in pain..... we sometimes "hurt" and it shows.. but we also have learned to "suck it up" at times, and try to not let that type of thing effect our lives... I don't want to think someone feel "sorry" for me... etc....


Okay, well I need to get some other things done, but I wanted to "catch up" as to what 2016 shall mean HERE, and what I plan to try and do to HELP MY READERS!

Wishing YOU and YOURS a blessed, healthy, peaceful, calm, faith filled, renewed hope and love for 2016!

Rhia

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

From My home to Yours May Your Heart be Filled with Hope, Faith, Joy, Comfort, & Overflowing as the "Angels" Surround You....


May the Spirit of this Wondrous Season Bring you Hope, Faith, Joy, and Peace that shall pass all understanding. I wish you a safe journey if you are traveling, much joy with family and friends, and for those, like myself, "celebrating" more or less alone, also know that there are those out there who do love and care... 


May the Angels Surround you and Bring to you the Cup of Faith that shall run over, and give to you all of the Tidings and Mysteries, of Christmas Cheer and Magic...


Love, Rhia