Wednesday, April 13, 2016

A Letter to children (mine included) if something happens such as Alzheimer's or Dementia to me....

Here is a wonderful but hard to think about article with a "letter" to their Children from someone who thinks about Alzheimer's and what they want to share with their children....


And after witnessing what this horrid disease did to my Granny, my Papa and some with my Dad, and now what it is doing to my Mom at such a rpaid rate... a woman that just 7 months ago was just waiting for my two abscesses to get well enough so we could go to Winstar for a night, that now cannot turn her washer, dryer, microwave, TV, or just about anything "on" or use it... has no clue how to "drive" her car, & cannot recall how to take her medications, but also I have watched her go down in physical appearance, she is shriveling up to nothing, she barely eats, but will right now drink the Ensure's and drink Diet Drinks, and she NEVER used to like any type of soda that much, she has not put on "street" clothes in months, she "cut up" her card to the Casino, lost her SS card, her Medicare card, 3 credit cards within 2 weeks, can't pay a bill, or make out a check, has no clue what any of her bills mean, and even though I have just about all of them on auto pay, two of them I am going to have to put on just emailing them to me, she was almost late on one this past week. I did not know she got it in the mail, and finally she happened to show it to me, many days she is almost bedridden, thank goodness yesterday was BETTER, for a change... she was up and out of the bed yesterday, and was "more alert' and understood more, although again, I had to start her washer, then put the clothes in the dryer.... she thought her money was "running low" and I told her Mom, you are NOT spending any money, other than your regular bills, so nothing is wrong with your finances... she cannot recall the day, month, or day of the week most of the time...
 I have never seen her home as in a disarray as it is now... and even her, she no longer barely cares for herself in appearance, and I feel does not care to.... anyway that is just a few things that Lisa Lisman Walker, you totally understand and more, and you helped me so much... I am now more aware of why or why not on some of the things she is doing... plus Mom is also in chronic pain too... I feel it is her lower lumbar spine, plus arthritis in other places also... she had it already in her hands and so forth, but with her back, and she has some stenosis, some discs that are not good, and bone spurs etc... but the only thing they can do is give her medication... they did one round of injections, but unless she gets a bit better mentally, I do not think she would even think about going back for those... and she cannot take NSAIDS due to kidney functions... so she will be on medications the rest of her life... and if she does not take them as she should, then it puts her in bed worse due to the pain.... 
SO, THE MESSAGE HERE IS... this "letter" is also to my two children Amanda Batson- Matheny and Jason Harber - I will write you both to tell you many of the things this woman says in hers... IF I EVER GET THIS HORRID DISEASE... just put me in a special "home" for these types of patients, especially when I am getting this bad... because I NEVER would want either of you to have to deal with me in this capacity... I am trying my best to keep Mom at her home, and feel it is "too late" to try and "build on" to put her here with me... plus I feel she would not be happy, if we did... if I can keep her in her home as long as possible, with the help of Home Health Care, Meals on Wheels, and myself, then I shall do that... but I want you both to be able to always LIVE YOUR LIVES...Mandi, with your family, and Jason, you also... you have a life ahead of you, and you may too have a wife, and someday kids if you chose that route, and I do not want either of you to have to deal with what I see and hear daily. I want you both to remember that I love you both too the "moon and back" twice, and that if it came to me being like this, I still love you and I would understand if you could not yourselves take care of me... do how I am doing Granny, and let me stay with my own home and puppies, as long as I can... and if with help from Home Health care, and so forth, I still cannot be "alone" then I want you to put me where I can be cared for, but not have to be a "burden" in your lives.... I love you both and miss us not being close, "physically" as to where we live, but that does not change the fact that I love the both of you more than life itself.... Mom Rhia Steele "All things Autoimmune"

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