Friday, April 21, 2023

MORE BULLSH$%!!! AND DRAMA ON MYSELF AND CHRONIC PAIN ISSUES..ALONG WITH MY HOME ETC..

 I AM BATSHI! CRAZY!! I HAVE JUST ABOUT LOST MY MIND, PHYSICALLY MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY!!! BETWEEN ALL THE MESS WITH MY HEALTH, HAVING TO PUT OFF SURGERIES, NOW TRYING TO STAY WELL SO CAN GET THE PAIN PUMP REPLACE (BEEN TRYING SINCE IT WENT OUT ON DEC 20TH, 2022)... BROKEN COLLR BONE NEEDS SURGERY, THART RIGHT SHOULDER IS A FLIPPIN' GRAND HOT MESS!! AND MY LEFT THUMB, THE LUMP ON IT BETWEEN IT AND MY WRIST, BOTH HANDS ARE KILLNG ME! I am probably SURGERY ON IT!!!! PLUS I DID NOT HAVE A UTI THANK GOODNESS BUT I HAVE CRYSTALS SO THE SEVERE PAIN IN MY LOW BACK, FLANK AREA, AND DOWN THROUGH MY HIPS OFF AND ON.... COULD BE KIDNEY STONES OR MY LOWER BACK I MUCH WORSE!! I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE LOWER BACK SURGERY AND COVID HIT!!!!! WE WERE GOIN TO DO THAT AND REPLACE MY ALREADY REVERSE REPLACED RIGHT SHOULDER AND COVID HIT AGAIN, THEN LUPUS COLITIS HIT, THEN ALL THE ULCERS THAT WERE INFECTED WTH STAPH, & PNEUMONAS. took 8 weeks or more to get those well, MY HOUSE IS A FLIPPIN' DISASTER. I NEED A ROOF, A WALK IN SHOWER, MY FLOORS REDONE IN MY KITCHEN THE NEW LAUNDRY ROOM NEVER GOT DONE NOW MY CARPORT IS LEAKING AND MY DRIVEWAY DUE TO THE WAY THE CITY HAS THE ROAD IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE DONE, IT RAINS AND WATERS RUNS ALL THE WAY UNDER MY CARPORT!!! FOR THE 1ST TIME IN 4 MONTHS OR MORE I WENTTO THE MARKET MYSELF, OUT IT ALL IN THE BASKET, CHECKED IT OUT WITH SELF CHECK, TOOK T TO THE CAR, PUT IT IN THE CAR ... GOT HOME, UNLOADED IT AND PUT IT UP... THEN SUFFERED WITH MY DAMNED SHOULDERS AND BACK...BUT I CAN'T AFFORD TO CONTINUE TO PAY THE DELIVERY FEES..... NOT WTH THE PRICE OF GROCERIES UP AGAIN, YEAH I AM A FLIPPIN' AZZ3D HOT MESS!!! SORRY I HAVE GOT TO WRITE IT SAY IT OR SOMETHING.... AND A LUPUS FLARE LAST WEEK... I TRY MY BEST TO BE POSITIVE AND NOT BIATCH., BUT AM MORE THEN FED THE HECK UP AND ON MY LAST NERVE!! PLUS YOU NEED A PHD TO WORK A CAR NOW DAYS, DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT!! PLUS MY YARD WAS A MESS...I HAVE LIMBS THAT NEED TO BE PICKED UP AND CLEANED UP FROM THE WINDS IN THE WINTER....JUST EVERY DAY SEEMS LIKE IT NEVER ENDS!!! LIKE THE SONG, I NEED LESS HEARTACHE AND MORE PEACE OF MIND!!!! JUST WANT TO GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS HOUSE AND IT NOT BE FOR A DOCTOR, TEST ETC....


IF I SURVIVE THE 9 PLUS PAIN I AM IN WITHOUT HAVING TO GO TO ER THIS WEEKEND IT WILL BE A MIRACLE... THIS IS GOTTEN TO WHERE I DON'TKNOW WHO TO TRUST, WHO TO GO TO..... & i need to try and hold out till Tuesday at 2pm for the pump surgery.... it is BAD!! and i had to move to move my collarbone surgery to May 30th due to the pump being delayed another 2 weeks!!!😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑

Wednesday, April 19, 2023

FED THE HECK UP WITH EVERYTHING!!!!

 I AM BATSHI! CRAZY!! I HAVE JUST ABUT LOST MY MIND, PHYSICALLY MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY!!! BETWEEN ALL THE MESS WITH MY HEALTH, HAVING TO PUT OFF SURGERIES, NOW TRYING TO STY WELL SO CAN GET THE PAIN PUMP REPLACE (BEEN TRYING SINCE IT WENT OUT ON DEC 20TH, 2022)... BROKEN COLLR BONE NEEDS SURGERY, THART RIGHT SHOULDER IS A FLIPPIN' GRAND HOT MESS!! AND MY LEFT THUMB, THE LUMP ON IT BETWEEN IT AND MY WRIST, BOTH HANDS ARE KILLNG ME! I am probably SURGERY ON IT!!!! PLUS I DID NOT HAVE A UTI THANK GOODNESS BUT I HAVE CRYSTALS SO THE SEVERE PAIN IN MY LOW BACK, FLANK AREA, AND DOWN THROUGH MY HIPS OFF AND ON.... COULD BE KIDNEY STONES OR MY LOWER BACK I MUCH WORSE!! I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE LOWER BACK SURGERY AND COVID HIT!!!!! WE WERE GOIN TO DO THAT AND REPLACE MY ALREADY REVERSE REPLACED RIGHT SHOULDER AND COVID HIT AGAIN, THEN LUPUS COLITIS HIT, THEN ALL THE ULCERS THAT WERE INFECTED WTH STAPH, & PNEUMONAS. took 8 weeks or more to get those well, MY HOUSE IS A FLIPPIN' DISASTER. I NEED A ROOF, A WALK N SHOWER, MY FLOORS REDONE IN MY KITCHEN THE NEW LAUNDRY ROOM NEVER GOT DONE NOW MY CARPORT IS LEAKING AND MY DRIVEWAY DUE TO THE WAY THE COTY HAS THE ROAD IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE DONE, IT RAINS AND WATERS RUNS ALL THE WAY UNDER MY CARPORT!!!! FOR THE 1ST TIME IN4 MONTHS OR MORE I WENTTO THE MARKET MYSELF, UT IT ALL N THE BASKET, CHECKED IT OUT WITH SELF CHECK, TOOK THE TO THE CAR, PUT IT IN THE CAR ... GOT HOME, UNLOADED IT AND PUT IT UP... THEN SUFFERED WITH MY DAMNED SHOULDERS AND BACK...BUT I CAN'T AFFORD TO CONTINUE TO PAY THE DELIVERY FEES..... NOT WTH THE PRICE OF GROCERIES UP AGAIN, YEAH I AM A FLIPPIN' AZZ3D HOT MESS!!! SORRY I HAVE GOT TO WRITE IT SAY IT OR SOMETHING.... AND A LUPUS FLARE LAST WEEK... I TRY MY BEST TO BE POSITIVE AND NOT BIATCH., BUT AM MORE THEN FED THE HECK UP AND ON MY LAST NERVE!! PLUS YOU NEED A PHD TO WORK A CAR NOW DAYS, DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THAT!! PLUS MY YARD WAS A MESS...D I HAVE LMBS THAT NEED TO BE PICKED UP AND CLEANED UP FROM THE WINDS IN THE WINTER....JUST EVERY DAY SEEMS LIKE IT NEVER ENDS!!! LIKE THE SONG, I NEED LESS HEARTACHE AND MORE PEACE OF MIND!!!! JUST WANT TO GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS HOUSE AND IT NOT BE FOR A DOCTOR, TEST ETC....

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Saturday, April 8, 2023

Due to Governmental Bull/DEA etc giving grief to pain doctors we legitimate Chronic Pain patients are suffering needlessly!

 This is how severe the osteoarthritis/RA has developed over the past 6 weeks L. hand and now r. thumb has a lump beginning DUE TO THE PAIN DOCTOR MESSING AROUND AND NOT GETTING THE PAIN PUMP SURGERY DONE AT LEAST 5 TO 6 WEEKS AGO, SO I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO TAKE MY LUPUS/RA MEDS WAITING ON SURGERY. I already had been without my Kevzara (biologic for RA) for months due to the antibiotics and bacterial infection on my L. leg... he could have done that surgery weeks ago I was released and clear of infection on Feb 20th.. now he has waited around and I am having a severe Lupus flare been ill all week, & may not be able to have the surgery next Tuesday...BETWEEN THE GOVERNMENT BULL WITH PAIN MEDS...AND THE GRIEF THE DOCTORS ARE GETTING AND HAVING TO GIVE PATIENTS ABOUT MEDS... MANY OF US ARE SUFFERING NEEDLESSLY...I HAVE HAD ENOUGH...MORE THAN ENOUGH AND I WANT TO GET TOGETHER AND GET SOMETHING DONE ABOUT THE CRAP ON CAPITOL HILL, DEA ETC KEEPING US LEGITIMATE PAIN CHRONIC PATIENTS FROM GETTING OUR PROPER AND NEEDED TREATMENT. SEND ME A MESSAGE IF YOU WANT TO GET A PETITION OR SOMETHING DONE ABOUT THIS HORRIBLE MESS WE ARE HAVING TO GO THROUGH!









Wednesday, March 22, 2023

Pain Pump Surgery April 11th & Clavicle May 16th

 So far my left leg looks completely well.. no infection, nothing to indicate the places are not healing... they still are tender but the top skin is taking a while to cover over completely.


So they have cleared me for both surgeries, the pain pump n April 11th and 6 weeks later the clavicle repair on May 16th.


I will be THRILLED TO HOPEFULLY GET OVER ALL OF THIS AND HAVE SOME KIND OF LIFE!!

I DO HAVE SEVERE OSTEOARTHRITIS IN THE BASA PART OF MY LEFT THUMB, SO BAD THE OSTEOPHYTES AND ALL OF THE ARTHRITIS SHOWS CLEARLY ON AN X-RAY... SO IT COULD BE IF WE CAN'T CONTROL THE SEVERE PAIN AND SWELLING WITH CORTICOSTEROID INJECTIONS, I MAY FACE BASAL THUMB SURGERY DOWN THE ROAD!

Wednesday, February 1, 2023

Nightmare At Pain Doctor's Office!

 For those who go to "Pain" Clinics" or Pain Doctors, the government REALLY SCREWED "real chronic pain patients". I went into Wednesday a week ago, so I could get more oral meds tillI a well enough from the infections to have the pain pump surgery to replace it. Well, my doctor was NOT there. He was out of the office for 2 WEEKS is what the nurse told me. So, this "woman" who I did not know; I had never seen in the office at all (and this is after the nurse even acted strange). She quickly said her name which I didn't even get and never told me exactly "what she was". Now this woman i holding my file, with all the info. plus what update I had just told the nurse.She would not allow me to speak, she spoke "over me", and asked why I needed the oral pain meds. I explained Dr. C. knows all about & she said well, yeah I see here som situation going on and I want to now why you take "diazepam"? I looked at hr & said I've been on it for at least 25 years due to trauma in my life, more recent trauma, a husband who left me & then killed himself FEW MONTHS LATER BUT it has always been to also help with the severity of my chronicI said I was l told to come into the office to get my new script for pain meds, for a quick update. Not to be interrogated about meds the doctor already knows I take. pain. Then she asks if I had ever had a "sleep study"???? So, she walked out for a moment came in, mumbled FEW WORDS, AND told ME THE SCRIPT HAD BEEN SENT THROUGH FOR 1 MONTHS WORTH. So I l was by this woman who barely told me who she wast teated me like some street drug addict, SO I WAS PEEVED FOR SURE! I went by my pharmacy about an hour later THEY HD NO SCRIPT, so they said sometimes it takes a few hour (BULL MY DR HERE CAN SEND ONE OVER , I CAN WALK OUT OF THE OFFICE GO TO THE PHARMACY AND THEY HAVE IT & SOMETIMES ALREADY FILLED! So I call & get some idiot who could barely English & he calls some where over to the nurse clinic & the give him som bull that DR..C. has t okay it which he already had it was in the womans' hand when I was there! So, I hung up and called about noon the next day (I went n Wednesday) & I get told the doctor has to send it himself & he will from "wherever he is at".??? NO script, same thing Friday, Monday the same, then TUESDAY AFTER BEING OUT OF MEDS INCE THE THURSDAY BEFORE..I get a call from the nurse at the clinic my med were sent in. I figured it out that ignorant(found out later she was an NP, she called this "Lucid Lane" Place & they called m e to set up an appt over the internet to go over my meds so nothing is wrong!!!!????? Then when the witch (NP) found out I made an appt she had the medication sent in by another doctor the helps mine when he is gone !!! This was none of her business, BUT I KNOW WY THE GOVERNMENT JUST PUT NEW LWS OUT AND MADE IT EVEN WORSE THAN IT WAS ON REAL PAIN PATIENTS AND REA; GOOD PAIN DOCTORS, SO THEY HAVE TO JUMP THROUGH HOOPS TO EVEN GET THEIR MEDS!!! So I went ahead with this "interview assessment to shit her up. The woman that did this was awesome. About 5 minutes after talking with me she said you really i not need to be put through this BUT due to "new" rules & I said let me guess the government mess that just happened the 1st of January! Her name is Michelle & she could not "say" it n those words BUT she basically said what I did Doctors who help give chronic pain meds are COVERING THIER "BUTTS" Due to government crap. She said just in case the "authorities" probably DEA comes in & checks files that info is in yours is all is well. RIGHT Now IF I WERE WELL, I WOULD BUY A TICKET TO D.C. & GO TO CONGRESS & GIVE EVERYONE I COULD FIND A PIECE OF MY MIND!!! WE HAVE GOT TO GET TOGETHER & FIGHT THIS!!! IF WE DON'T DO SOMETHING, WE ARE GOING TO SEE IT GET WORSE, THEN WHAT???

Saturday, January 28, 2023

A New Writer That has Truly Spoken almost as if they were speaking about my life, heart and soul...Ravenwolf

 I recently found a few partial writing from a writer called "Ravenwolf" (not to be confused with "Silver Ravenwolf")...


Truly from the 1st few sentences in the very 1st one I read I was in the realms of my own feelings, like my own poetry & prose... as if they knew my life's story.... Speaking to me like the Full Moon, the Oceans ebb & flow, the highest mountain and silver waterfalls from them... 

Not only did it give me so many inner feelings, from the depths of my soul, but gave me a voice again, giving me my own words that I had wrote for so many years...


I will Share this link.. and I am NOT selling this... I just felt I wanted to share what has touched my soul so much...



Hi, I know you think you know me, but the truth is, you know the old version of me.
The broken, sad and weaker me is the person you you’re familiar with..
But that’s not who I am anymore.
I couldn’t stay in that place and ever be happy, so I made a choice.
I chose to pick up my broken pieces, figure out who I was and slowly put back together a better, wiser and stronger me.
So, yes, I’m a vastly changed person.
Where I was and who I used to be doesn’t define who I’ve become nor where I am going.
Sure, there are little cracks where the jagged pieces of my soul fit together, but that’s how the light gets in.
The person you thought you knew isn’t me anymore.
In the place of a weaker, hurting person stands a stronger and bolder me.
I won’t let people treat me poorly any longer and I will never settle for anything less than the best again.
This is my life and I’m standing up and taking back my pride, dignity and self respect.
And for those who can’t accept the new and improved me?
Well, let’s shake hands and part as friends, because the people I want in my life are the ones who will be supportive and in my corner, no matter what goes down.
I’m headed in a new direction and I’m learning how to finally fly.
It’s taken me a long time to get here and there’s been a lot of failure, disappointment and struggle along the way.
But I’m still standing and now, I’m growing.
No matter what life throws at me, I refuse to give up, stand aside or be disregarded.
I did that for too long and let myself be taken advantage of by too many people.
That ends here.
Because I learned something as I climbed out of rock bottom:
I’m worthy of love, I’m always going to be good enough and I’ll never have to remind the right people of that.
So, as I stretch out my arms and welcome a new day,
I can feel the sun shining on my face and the light in my heart glowing.
It’s a new chapter, a new me and there’s nothing I can’t do.
For all those that doubt me, I’ll only say one thing:
Just watch me.
Life is about to get really, really good.
And I can’t wait.
I’ve waited all my life for these days, and I know that I deserve every bit of this happiness.
|ravenwolf
For exclusive content, follow me on TikTok @theravenwolf
May be a black-and-white image of 1 person and text that says 'You don't know the new me. I put Palksnof Beavo,noaho not echo my broken pieces back together-I'm better, stronger and different than the person you once knew.'


All rea

Saturday, January 21, 2023

SO totally thrilled with my Oldest Grandson & his Amazing job he did on his FFA Project!

 I have to post this! I was so totally amazed at my Grandson who is 17 & is just an awesome young man in every way!This was his FFA Project they will be showing for "auction" which he already has a couple of buyers before he has even shown it for the upcoming auction!! He placed 3rd BUT even his Leader over the FFA said he was really he that should have placed higher! Here are some pics of the deer blind he made...








He had some help from his Dad which was allowed but James did most of the work.... James is also parliamentarian of is FFA group.