This was really cool!!!! I enjoyed doing it. Wow, I added quite a few words, but I can see making one huge very quickly with all of the primary words from a blog!
Saturday, April 25, 2015
Friday, April 24, 2015
Not the "usual" in my blog - but this is just NOT Right, no Matter How you slice it!
I'm not one to get into the "political" issues around just anything. When it comes to illnesses, and our governmental ways, I've learned that I MUST get involved and speak my mind. It is up to me to have my say. The only way I can do that, is not hide my head in the sand, but to speak up, speak out, give my opinion, and when it comes to "morals" then I feel it is even more ridiculous for me not to stand up for what I feel is right.
I have read this story about these two guys, who are "gay". However you want to say it, they are together as a couple, and even moreover they have "twin sons" they know each one "fathered" one, and the other the other one. They know the Mom, who carried the twins and knows the story also.
I guess even though I had read about it, I had not realized until very recently this is in Texas! Which is neither here nor there, expect it makes me want to even speak up MORE for these men. How ridiculous is it to "take away" biological "parents" from two loving, upstanding, "fathers", who above all HAD THESE BOYS BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO! It took a great deal of courage to go through this knowing how "homophobic" others can be. It is certainly not as bad as it used to be, but here in TX, I would assume to say, more people than in many other states, probably are more to leaning to be "homophobic" than others.
So, here these proud young Father's are, to be loving and caring for precious little sons, and some stupid Judge say they cannot be on their birth certificates, and further more are not acknowledged at all as far as being "biological" to the twins. Talk about one stuck up, ridiculous, homophobic, stick in the mud, head in the sand, and "non moral" people... this judge has to be heartless and headless it sounds like.
I was looking to see if there is a petition or somewhere we can "sign" on stating that we as others in this nation stand up and give these Dad's the legal rights as parents should have. Being "gay" straight, or whatever does not a parent make for sure!! but, wanting, loving, raising, providing for their needs, keeping food in their mouths, and a roof over their head, saving for school, college and watching them grow and have dreams of their own is what these men should be able to do... WITHOUT SOME OLD FART judge stepping in the way....
There should be NO argument whatsoever... these are their sons... period....
I hope others will also stand up and speak their peace on this. These guys deserve a happy life as parents, just as any male/female couple does.
I have read this story about these two guys, who are "gay". However you want to say it, they are together as a couple, and even moreover they have "twin sons" they know each one "fathered" one, and the other the other one. They know the Mom, who carried the twins and knows the story also.
I guess even though I had read about it, I had not realized until very recently this is in Texas! Which is neither here nor there, expect it makes me want to even speak up MORE for these men. How ridiculous is it to "take away" biological "parents" from two loving, upstanding, "fathers", who above all HAD THESE BOYS BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO! It took a great deal of courage to go through this knowing how "homophobic" others can be. It is certainly not as bad as it used to be, but here in TX, I would assume to say, more people than in many other states, probably are more to leaning to be "homophobic" than others.
So, here these proud young Father's are, to be loving and caring for precious little sons, and some stupid Judge say they cannot be on their birth certificates, and further more are not acknowledged at all as far as being "biological" to the twins. Talk about one stuck up, ridiculous, homophobic, stick in the mud, head in the sand, and "non moral" people... this judge has to be heartless and headless it sounds like.
I was looking to see if there is a petition or somewhere we can "sign" on stating that we as others in this nation stand up and give these Dad's the legal rights as parents should have. Being "gay" straight, or whatever does not a parent make for sure!! but, wanting, loving, raising, providing for their needs, keeping food in their mouths, and a roof over their head, saving for school, college and watching them grow and have dreams of their own is what these men should be able to do... WITHOUT SOME OLD FART judge stepping in the way....
There should be NO argument whatsoever... these are their sons... period....
I hope others will also stand up and speak their peace on this. These guys deserve a happy life as parents, just as any male/female couple does.
http://www.thegailygrind.com/2014/06/18/texas-judge-denies-two-gay-dads-parental-rights-biological-twin-sons/
When the Physicians Allow You to Hurt Like Hell - and play this "hurry up and wait" Ordeal - Intractable Pain....
I did not finish this BEFORE leaving the page yesterday, so everything I wrote after this initial post was lost. I had asked if anyone had one of these "discograms".... and if so was it as bad as what I am reading? It just seems like this is not a test to take lightly. Plus you may end up in worse pain than you already are. I went to my Orthopedic surgeon this week. He was the one that actually put my new right shoulder in and then done my 4 level neck surgery about two years ago. As awesome of a SURGEON AND DOCTOR as he is, he "patient repoire" SUCKS!! He "hates" an educated patient. I had written before that him and I have gotten into it, before he did my neck surgery. I had given him my own thoughts after doing a great deal of research, even on the "reverse shoulder replacement" and he just didn't appreciate "me" a layman, even attempting to let him know my thoughts on the situation. He basically told me I was "stupid".... and later on, after the surgeries were done and MOST OF WHAT I SAID, was TRUE about my situation, he had in his own weird way had to 'APOLOGIZE" for making it sound like I was stupid. I never got a total I am sorry, or apology, but in his own way, he kind of smoothed everything over. Anyway now I've found more information on "sacroiliitis.... that sounds also more like what is going on with me and my very lower back, almost at my tailbone, and then into both hips and traveling at times down to my knees.... I just did some research on it, after a doctor in CA had "tweeted" me about what I posted about my lower back and hip pain... I found out this issue often is looked over, and the doctors "miss" that this is the issue, and blame it on a lumbar spine thing instead. Well, as I've told both doctors now, I feel I have two issues.... maybe my very lowest lumbar vertebra and my S-1 -S-2 have issues.... BUT there is something going on with my hips themselves, or another issue causing the severe hip pain. He had the audacity to tell me that the severe pain I was having in my hips, no way could be caused by bursitis... or the like... which is bull... I KNOW I've had hip bursitis several times and it hurts like hell!!! Now here I sit, in fact I just tried the very "test" this doctor said to try in order to see if this is possibly this sacroiliitis or not. And both sides put me almost in a scream to try and "test" to see if that is the cause. So, now here I am NOT gotten any relief and in fact, I am WORSE TODAY!!! And I don't see my pain doctor until next Thursday. I am in tears with severe pain. It matters not if I sit, stand, walk... right now the sitting is the worst. But, if I go out and walk a bit, then it also hits me like a razor sharp ball of fire into my very low buttocks, and hips, then down the sides of both legs.... I cannot take much more of this crap.... I am almost to the place of intractable pain again..... Why is it, no matter how badly we hurt, it is always this "hurry up and wait" game with physicians????
I've done enough research through out all of my chronic illness and pain issues now for so many years, I could almost be a doctor myself... or a pretty good researcher....
Yet, this is beginning to be the end of how much I can take. I realize ANY of us are in all types of pain. Often we are in such an overload of it, we would do just about any and everything to stop it.
What do you do? We know that going to an ER with "chronic pain' is just about like peeing out of the back of a moving truck bed. We know that most of our physicians, want to do a billion dollars worth of tests, scans, injections, treatments, and all or none may work or not work. I have said over and over again, that no matter where they have ever done "CT Scans", or MRi's, EMG's, EEG's.... all types of nerve tests... blood work. and yes there is some thing that show up. Yet, only when a surgeon FINALLY GOES IN - that is when they see JUST HOW BADLY MY JOINTS ARE SCREWED UP!
I've been told that by several of my physicians over the years. So, again, I will repeat, since it is worth repeating, TESTS DO NOT ALWAYS mean they are TRUE AND CORRECT! Tests are usually as good as the person doing them, and then whomever does the reading of them...
A very good example just happened to me this week. I had a CT can about 4 weeks ago, on my lumbar spine. It did show some problems in my lumbar spine, and although not just HUGE issues, my pain doctor said it could be enough to cause the pain I am having.
I go to my Orthopedic Surgeon this week. He was "supposed" to have a copy of the CT Scan. Somehow, between me going into that building, and seeing him in his office, my CT Scan results suddenly disappeared. I KNOW it was there with the paperwork I brought in. I saw it, and I said it twice or three times... his office somewhere lost it, put it in another chart or something. BUT, He did DO regular X-Rays on my lower lumbar spine and hips. He could tell me MORE by regular X-rays about my lumbar spine, and so forth THAN THE CT SCAN EVEN WAS SHOWING... and He had NOT even seen the scan. So, that just goes to show, with a simple couple of X-rays, a physician that KNOWS what he is looking for, can sometimes find something before ordering other very expensive, more invasive tests! I thought he had been reading the CT Scan. Then he mentioned about possibly having one done. I said well I just had one 4 weeks ago and I brought it in with the rest of that paperwork. Of course NO he had not seen it, but it did see the problems. He began to tell me that due to the extreme amount of pain I was in, there was no way that my hips could cause the pain. I say BULL! When I was this bad before, my hips were injected into the bursa with corticosteroid and it worked, two times at least.
Anyway, it went on to prove to me, in all honesty, when a proper physician sees some tests such as this plain X-Ray.... they can go by that and what the patient says, rather than order $1,000.00's of dollars worth of tests, that if not read correctly would not show how bad it really was.
So, I have tried just about any and everything to "keep my mind" off the pain... between baking, writing, doing emails, reading and so on... nothing is helping. Here it is Friday afternoon, and I have another week to put up with this mess.....
I've done enough research through out all of my chronic illness and pain issues now for so many years, I could almost be a doctor myself... or a pretty good researcher....
Yet, this is beginning to be the end of how much I can take. I realize ANY of us are in all types of pain. Often we are in such an overload of it, we would do just about any and everything to stop it.
What do you do? We know that going to an ER with "chronic pain' is just about like peeing out of the back of a moving truck bed. We know that most of our physicians, want to do a billion dollars worth of tests, scans, injections, treatments, and all or none may work or not work. I have said over and over again, that no matter where they have ever done "CT Scans", or MRi's, EMG's, EEG's.... all types of nerve tests... blood work. and yes there is some thing that show up. Yet, only when a surgeon FINALLY GOES IN - that is when they see JUST HOW BADLY MY JOINTS ARE SCREWED UP!
I've been told that by several of my physicians over the years. So, again, I will repeat, since it is worth repeating, TESTS DO NOT ALWAYS mean they are TRUE AND CORRECT! Tests are usually as good as the person doing them, and then whomever does the reading of them...
A very good example just happened to me this week. I had a CT can about 4 weeks ago, on my lumbar spine. It did show some problems in my lumbar spine, and although not just HUGE issues, my pain doctor said it could be enough to cause the pain I am having.
I go to my Orthopedic Surgeon this week. He was "supposed" to have a copy of the CT Scan. Somehow, between me going into that building, and seeing him in his office, my CT Scan results suddenly disappeared. I KNOW it was there with the paperwork I brought in. I saw it, and I said it twice or three times... his office somewhere lost it, put it in another chart or something. BUT, He did DO regular X-Rays on my lower lumbar spine and hips. He could tell me MORE by regular X-rays about my lumbar spine, and so forth THAN THE CT SCAN EVEN WAS SHOWING... and He had NOT even seen the scan. So, that just goes to show, with a simple couple of X-rays, a physician that KNOWS what he is looking for, can sometimes find something before ordering other very expensive, more invasive tests! I thought he had been reading the CT Scan. Then he mentioned about possibly having one done. I said well I just had one 4 weeks ago and I brought it in with the rest of that paperwork. Of course NO he had not seen it, but it did see the problems. He began to tell me that due to the extreme amount of pain I was in, there was no way that my hips could cause the pain. I say BULL! When I was this bad before, my hips were injected into the bursa with corticosteroid and it worked, two times at least.
Anyway, it went on to prove to me, in all honesty, when a proper physician sees some tests such as this plain X-Ray.... they can go by that and what the patient says, rather than order $1,000.00's of dollars worth of tests, that if not read correctly would not show how bad it really was.
So, I have tried just about any and everything to "keep my mind" off the pain... between baking, writing, doing emails, reading and so on... nothing is helping. Here it is Friday afternoon, and I have another week to put up with this mess.....
Could I scream????!!!!! YOU BET I COULD!!!!!!!!!
"Fitness Friday" - WEGO Health Writer's Challenge for April 24th, 2015
Oddly enough here I sit writing when I actually am supposed to be out walking with my spouse! Due to all of his health issues, pain and so forth from the severe accident a year ago last month, it has taken him a very long time, well a year, to get to the place he feels he CAN somewhat take a walk. And the thing is before his accident I walked daily, 7 days a week, at least a mile. I walked my drive way back and forth every morning, rain, shine, just not in the cold... joints and bones HATE the cold weather.
Now, I had for various reasons almost stopped my "daily routine" of exercise, walking, and riding an elliptical when the weather does not allow me outside... Between all of my own heath issues, the long drawn out process (a year also, really more) to FINALLY have MY DENTURES and THE LOWER ONES ARE REALLY ANCHORED down NOW!!! What a miracle. I thought that day may never come. In fact, I was just in my dentists office today. I had some issues with some of the material he had used when making the little places in the denture fit over the little mini implanted posts. So, I went in and he fixed that for me...
He did say all looks very well. That he could see I was taking care of the posts inside my jawbone, along with the dentures. So, he was so pleased with that. Gosh, I should be ELATED! After over $12,000.00 worth of work, plus blood, sweat and some tears They should be make out of gold, platinum and "precious stones"... LOL! I guess that would weigh me down so much, I would not be able to open my mouth, OR worse I would NEVER be able to shut it!!! As if I don't talk enough to drive a preacher to drink, Lord knows I don't need anything to make me keep my mouth open anymore than it already is.
So, my own exercise routine kind of went astray for a bit. I say that but in a way, I have been almost getting MORE exercise daily between shopping, cleaning, cooking, laundry, vacuuming, sweeping, dusting, and as that list continues on and on.... Days like when I vacuum then "shampoo" my carpets. They are not wall to wall, we have hardwood floors, but our huge area rugs in three of our rooms take a great deal of elbow grease to clean them. Well, I like to go over them twice, if possible. But, the last two times I confess I only made it once on them.
Anyway, I consider things like laundry, making the bed, chasing after our dogs, and cleaning up after them every day, all of my pulling weeds, tending to about 80 houseplants, that now need even more care because they are outside for the Spring and Summer. Still that means everyday watering... thus that is a workout in itself.
I will say since my husband began his regime of daily walking. He goes out about 4 to 5 times daily, and makes several laps around the driveway. I usually go out and do the same with him. Plus, I am beginning my own walking habit daily again since this weather is beginning to be warmer, yet not too warm.
I do some stretching exercises, and wished there were many more things I could do, like I used to be able to. As with many types of chronic illnesses, especially autoimmune illnesses that tend to strike you in the joints pretty often, there are many things I could do, yet no longer are feasible. I was never very "Athletic". But, about the time I turned 21, I wanted to be in better health, look better, and be able to wear "cute" clothes back then. I had a tiny bit of an issue with my weight as a teenager. I was never "obese", but I had about 20 pounds on me, right after my son was born. I was determined to shed ALL of the weight (which was about 20 pounds) that I had gained in the pregnancy. Then I also wanted to drop another 10 pounds or a bit more, in order to just look good. Not too thin, but to get to where I felt "good" about my own self, when I looked in the mirror. And that became a way of life for me. I walked at least 5 miles a day, took aerobics classes a couple times a week. Back then I did all of the lawn work, mowing, and everything in between. That was in addition to a full time job, two kids, and I at that time was going to college at night to hope to have at least an Associates Degree. Anyway, up until 2007 when my joints that were already giving me problems began to get so worn and I was in so much pain, I finally had to have both knees replaces, along with shoulder,
and other joint issues, that kept me from snow skiing, now I am really not supposed to mow, but I sure have been thinking about trying lately. Also at the time I was walking so much, and watched every bite of food that went into body. They used to tell the waiter or waitress in restaurant, to bring me a "head of lettuce" and a bottle of fat free Ranch Dressing and all would be fine!
So, my main exercise program now is to do my walking daily. Then I also take my chores and errands, and when possible I spread them out, so that every day I have something I could be doing that requires a bit more work. Whether that be the laundry, or vacuuming, shampooing carpets. I have LOTS of weed pulling outside to do now. Along with caring for all of my other plants and flowers I also try to make my way around the market, or a big store like "Wally world" almost a "workout". By making sure I hit many isles, and try to make the most out of all of those steps too.
One of the "largest" work outs I get, unfortunately, I don't get to go that much is walking around the biggest Casino's in the world - the Winstar, in Oklahoma. Talk about getting your miles in. If I lived closer, I would just go there several times a week, just to walk and get so much exercise. I wouldn't even gamble, it would be just the walking all over that probably estimating 5 miles from one end all the way to the other.
I wished I could say I had this fabulous gym that I went to, and done Pilates each week and so forth. But, I must stick with my "fast paced walking" along with all of my daily chores and errands as my "exercise" to stay fit.
As it stands, between my same old walking, and housework, yard work errands, this is my "method of madness" when it comes to exercise
Now, I had for various reasons almost stopped my "daily routine" of exercise, walking, and riding an elliptical when the weather does not allow me outside... Between all of my own heath issues, the long drawn out process (a year also, really more) to FINALLY have MY DENTURES and THE LOWER ONES ARE REALLY ANCHORED down NOW!!! What a miracle. I thought that day may never come. In fact, I was just in my dentists office today. I had some issues with some of the material he had used when making the little places in the denture fit over the little mini implanted posts. So, I went in and he fixed that for me...
He did say all looks very well. That he could see I was taking care of the posts inside my jawbone, along with the dentures. So, he was so pleased with that. Gosh, I should be ELATED! After over $12,000.00 worth of work, plus blood, sweat and some tears They should be make out of gold, platinum and "precious stones"... LOL! I guess that would weigh me down so much, I would not be able to open my mouth, OR worse I would NEVER be able to shut it!!! As if I don't talk enough to drive a preacher to drink, Lord knows I don't need anything to make me keep my mouth open anymore than it already is.
So, my own exercise routine kind of went astray for a bit. I say that but in a way, I have been almost getting MORE exercise daily between shopping, cleaning, cooking, laundry, vacuuming, sweeping, dusting, and as that list continues on and on.... Days like when I vacuum then "shampoo" my carpets. They are not wall to wall, we have hardwood floors, but our huge area rugs in three of our rooms take a great deal of elbow grease to clean them. Well, I like to go over them twice, if possible. But, the last two times I confess I only made it once on them.
Anyway, I consider things like laundry, making the bed, chasing after our dogs, and cleaning up after them every day, all of my pulling weeds, tending to about 80 houseplants, that now need even more care because they are outside for the Spring and Summer. Still that means everyday watering... thus that is a workout in itself.
I will say since my husband began his regime of daily walking. He goes out about 4 to 5 times daily, and makes several laps around the driveway. I usually go out and do the same with him. Plus, I am beginning my own walking habit daily again since this weather is beginning to be warmer, yet not too warm.
I do some stretching exercises, and wished there were many more things I could do, like I used to be able to. As with many types of chronic illnesses, especially autoimmune illnesses that tend to strike you in the joints pretty often, there are many things I could do, yet no longer are feasible. I was never very "Athletic". But, about the time I turned 21, I wanted to be in better health, look better, and be able to wear "cute" clothes back then. I had a tiny bit of an issue with my weight as a teenager. I was never "obese", but I had about 20 pounds on me, right after my son was born. I was determined to shed ALL of the weight (which was about 20 pounds) that I had gained in the pregnancy. Then I also wanted to drop another 10 pounds or a bit more, in order to just look good. Not too thin, but to get to where I felt "good" about my own self, when I looked in the mirror. And that became a way of life for me. I walked at least 5 miles a day, took aerobics classes a couple times a week. Back then I did all of the lawn work, mowing, and everything in between. That was in addition to a full time job, two kids, and I at that time was going to college at night to hope to have at least an Associates Degree. Anyway, up until 2007 when my joints that were already giving me problems began to get so worn and I was in so much pain, I finally had to have both knees replaces, along with shoulder,
and other joint issues, that kept me from snow skiing, now I am really not supposed to mow, but I sure have been thinking about trying lately. Also at the time I was walking so much, and watched every bite of food that went into body. They used to tell the waiter or waitress in restaurant, to bring me a "head of lettuce" and a bottle of fat free Ranch Dressing and all would be fine!
So, my main exercise program now is to do my walking daily. Then I also take my chores and errands, and when possible I spread them out, so that every day I have something I could be doing that requires a bit more work. Whether that be the laundry, or vacuuming, shampooing carpets. I have LOTS of weed pulling outside to do now. Along with caring for all of my other plants and flowers I also try to make my way around the market, or a big store like "Wally world" almost a "workout". By making sure I hit many isles, and try to make the most out of all of those steps too.
One of the "largest" work outs I get, unfortunately, I don't get to go that much is walking around the biggest Casino's in the world - the Winstar, in Oklahoma. Talk about getting your miles in. If I lived closer, I would just go there several times a week, just to walk and get so much exercise. I wouldn't even gamble, it would be just the walking all over that probably estimating 5 miles from one end all the way to the other.
I wished I could say I had this fabulous gym that I went to, and done Pilates each week and so forth. But, I must stick with my "fast paced walking" along with all of my daily chores and errands as my "exercise" to stay fit.
As it stands, between my same old walking, and housework, yard work errands, this is my "method of madness" when it comes to exercise
Thursday, April 23, 2015
WEGO Writer's Challenge Month April 23, 2015 - "Our Choice" of what to Write About
I have a smile as I start this. With WEGO allowing us a "write about what you you choose today" could possibly be a very lengthy readers challenge!
As I always warn people, I don't think I am even capable of writing anything "short". Even my emails can consist of enough words to be a "Novella" at times. That is the "writer" in me. Some people have "bugs" in them... I have "writer" and "voice" within my nature. The "bug" thing was to be a "ding" from that show that was on about all of the different "creatures" people had picked up, and then got very ill due to them. From fleas, deer ticks, to all kinds of worms, and so forth. That show was eery, but also interesting.
Anyway, as I mull it around in my mind what subject I may like to talk about, one item that tends to comes up in my everyday life is, "loyalty". When I say loyalty that could mean anything from being a "loyal" customer to a department store, to a loyal friend.
I was raised "old school" I guess you may call it. My Dad taught me (he was born in 1923 and lived a bit of what he remembered through the Great Depression), although he was very young; that everyone gets their commendations for being truthful, honest, loyal, committed, and to keep their word. On jobs, my Dad first of all was not all that thrilled about me having to work when I was young and my kids small. He was so totally raised in such a different time frame, that women did for the most part stay at home, and did all of those things, and men earned the paycheck and took care of bills.
Well, we all know that as "great" and fantastic is that may sound, for the most part, if you have a family, it takes two and sometimes MORE than to put kids through school, feed everyone, make mortgage payments, car payments, and unless you are fortunate enough, you never have "cash" to buy a car outright. You usually don't have "cash" to do many things for your home, your kids, and family outright, because everywhere we turn, things are so much more expensive. Cars (new) are no longer $2,000.00 cash. Heck you can barely use that for a down payment. If you are lucky, it will be that, but if not, you can expect more.
Same way with homes. My parents paid $50.00 a MONTH for their tiny 2 bedroom home, that included taxes and insurance for 30 YEARS. I am talking about a home that is barely 1,000 square feet. OF course they paid that off many, many years ago. My Mom still lives in that home also.
So, the idea of a "small town" everyone knows everyone, and used to provide a running tab at a local store that you paid at the end of the week. Or the small town, you got an awesome deal on local items due to the "Mom and Pop" stores that did line our city streets. Shamefully most of those are gone. Unless they have really worked to KEEP up a "self-owned" store; they have been overtaken by the HUGE "one stop shops" of these last several decades.
So, onto what I feel my post today is all about. Not long ago I had a situation where I felt that I needed to "honor" a particular group and my own "loyalty" to me, was to make sure I did all I could to promote things for these people. Well, I was asked some questions, and due to my background of feeling like I needed to remain loyal to one, the questions asked from another seemed to be "fishing for me" to use the first event to also "help promote" the 2nd event.
Well, I guess that is where I see things a bit differently than what happens in this time of life. I was told that it was not that I was being "not loyal" to first first event, if I used it to gain information, and "promote" at the same time another event. I felt uncomfortable with this, because to me, I was "using" one to help the other.
I was then told, that is was all a part of "networking". In other words, using "resources" from one place, whether a job, an event, a group or whatever, using your information from one to help the 2nd was "okay" and not "cheating" your original group you were doing things for.
I guess my "idea" is that for instance, I was working at a women's clothing store. I had been an employee for a few years, and I was "loyal" to them. I felt that was the proper thing to do. But, later down the line, I was approached by another women's clothing store, that would be a "rival" to where I worked. They asked me to send some clients there way by telling those who come into where I work, that they could go over to the "other" store and pay less, or get a discount, or something of the sort. Or say I was "moonlighting" at a competitors store, while I was supposed to be supporting who I worked for.
Those are kind of what I am talking about. I consider "networking" a tool used let's say by several organizations that do similar things. Maybe they are both in the place of "research" when it comes to a new stomach bug, or a new medication. If "they" as companies decide to "combine their efforts", then to me that is fine. It is on the "up and up", the Boards of both will determine all of what will happen, thus that is great and dandy.
But, if one or two employees from one place, go over to a competitor, and give out vital information about themselves to the rival, or in any way try and "get their foot in the door" by having someone who works there do it for them, to me that is NOT networking. It is just not correct. I feel it is something that if you cannot be "loyal" as a representative, then you should not be there at all. No one should "feel" even say best friends.... there are 3 of them. One tells the middle one about a certain free item, or better buy, or tells them that the "3rd" friends information could be used to help the other... to me that is just poor character, and no one should ever be asked in any shape or form, whether you volunteer, whether you work somewhere, any thing where it involves something helping the "rival" then to me that is just not how I was brought up. You GET MERIT for a job well done! You get where you are destined by being loyal, upfront, trustworthy, and not "back stabbing" someone else per'se.
Now I realize with this nation and our world in such a horrid mess all around, that these types of activities go on daily. Whether it be a "news" station trying to one up another, or a clothing retailer trying to gather inside information about a rival by asking someone to do the "snooping" around etc.
There are usually at least "two" sides to every story, and usually more than two. So, what one person deems, "networking" even though they may not have really used the entire truthful way to obtain a "foot in the door" or not, everyone sees things in a different light.
This is NOT about any one situation that has involved myself, but my daughter has ran into in even on a "school level" as far as her kids go. She sees it all the time, those who sometimes "get their way" and they are not as qualified as another child, then hard feelings develop.
If this does not make sense, blame it on my Lupus/RA/Sjogrens Brain fog!!! This has came to mind to me on several occasions and I really have never written my opinion on the subject..
There is no "right or wrong" here... just different beliefs, and often times it totally has to do with the "time frame" in life, how you were raised, and so on....
As I always warn people, I don't think I am even capable of writing anything "short". Even my emails can consist of enough words to be a "Novella" at times. That is the "writer" in me. Some people have "bugs" in them... I have "writer" and "voice" within my nature. The "bug" thing was to be a "ding" from that show that was on about all of the different "creatures" people had picked up, and then got very ill due to them. From fleas, deer ticks, to all kinds of worms, and so forth. That show was eery, but also interesting.
Anyway, as I mull it around in my mind what subject I may like to talk about, one item that tends to comes up in my everyday life is, "loyalty". When I say loyalty that could mean anything from being a "loyal" customer to a department store, to a loyal friend.
I was raised "old school" I guess you may call it. My Dad taught me (he was born in 1923 and lived a bit of what he remembered through the Great Depression), although he was very young; that everyone gets their commendations for being truthful, honest, loyal, committed, and to keep their word. On jobs, my Dad first of all was not all that thrilled about me having to work when I was young and my kids small. He was so totally raised in such a different time frame, that women did for the most part stay at home, and did all of those things, and men earned the paycheck and took care of bills.
Well, we all know that as "great" and fantastic is that may sound, for the most part, if you have a family, it takes two and sometimes MORE than to put kids through school, feed everyone, make mortgage payments, car payments, and unless you are fortunate enough, you never have "cash" to buy a car outright. You usually don't have "cash" to do many things for your home, your kids, and family outright, because everywhere we turn, things are so much more expensive. Cars (new) are no longer $2,000.00 cash. Heck you can barely use that for a down payment. If you are lucky, it will be that, but if not, you can expect more.
Same way with homes. My parents paid $50.00 a MONTH for their tiny 2 bedroom home, that included taxes and insurance for 30 YEARS. I am talking about a home that is barely 1,000 square feet. OF course they paid that off many, many years ago. My Mom still lives in that home also.
So, the idea of a "small town" everyone knows everyone, and used to provide a running tab at a local store that you paid at the end of the week. Or the small town, you got an awesome deal on local items due to the "Mom and Pop" stores that did line our city streets. Shamefully most of those are gone. Unless they have really worked to KEEP up a "self-owned" store; they have been overtaken by the HUGE "one stop shops" of these last several decades.
So, onto what I feel my post today is all about. Not long ago I had a situation where I felt that I needed to "honor" a particular group and my own "loyalty" to me, was to make sure I did all I could to promote things for these people. Well, I was asked some questions, and due to my background of feeling like I needed to remain loyal to one, the questions asked from another seemed to be "fishing for me" to use the first event to also "help promote" the 2nd event.
Well, I guess that is where I see things a bit differently than what happens in this time of life. I was told that it was not that I was being "not loyal" to first first event, if I used it to gain information, and "promote" at the same time another event. I felt uncomfortable with this, because to me, I was "using" one to help the other.
I was then told, that is was all a part of "networking". In other words, using "resources" from one place, whether a job, an event, a group or whatever, using your information from one to help the 2nd was "okay" and not "cheating" your original group you were doing things for.
I guess my "idea" is that for instance, I was working at a women's clothing store. I had been an employee for a few years, and I was "loyal" to them. I felt that was the proper thing to do. But, later down the line, I was approached by another women's clothing store, that would be a "rival" to where I worked. They asked me to send some clients there way by telling those who come into where I work, that they could go over to the "other" store and pay less, or get a discount, or something of the sort. Or say I was "moonlighting" at a competitors store, while I was supposed to be supporting who I worked for.
Those are kind of what I am talking about. I consider "networking" a tool used let's say by several organizations that do similar things. Maybe they are both in the place of "research" when it comes to a new stomach bug, or a new medication. If "they" as companies decide to "combine their efforts", then to me that is fine. It is on the "up and up", the Boards of both will determine all of what will happen, thus that is great and dandy.
But, if one or two employees from one place, go over to a competitor, and give out vital information about themselves to the rival, or in any way try and "get their foot in the door" by having someone who works there do it for them, to me that is NOT networking. It is just not correct. I feel it is something that if you cannot be "loyal" as a representative, then you should not be there at all. No one should "feel" even say best friends.... there are 3 of them. One tells the middle one about a certain free item, or better buy, or tells them that the "3rd" friends information could be used to help the other... to me that is just poor character, and no one should ever be asked in any shape or form, whether you volunteer, whether you work somewhere, any thing where it involves something helping the "rival" then to me that is just not how I was brought up. You GET MERIT for a job well done! You get where you are destined by being loyal, upfront, trustworthy, and not "back stabbing" someone else per'se.
Now I realize with this nation and our world in such a horrid mess all around, that these types of activities go on daily. Whether it be a "news" station trying to one up another, or a clothing retailer trying to gather inside information about a rival by asking someone to do the "snooping" around etc.
There are usually at least "two" sides to every story, and usually more than two. So, what one person deems, "networking" even though they may not have really used the entire truthful way to obtain a "foot in the door" or not, everyone sees things in a different light.
This is NOT about any one situation that has involved myself, but my daughter has ran into in even on a "school level" as far as her kids go. She sees it all the time, those who sometimes "get their way" and they are not as qualified as another child, then hard feelings develop.
If this does not make sense, blame it on my Lupus/RA/Sjogrens Brain fog!!! This has came to mind to me on several occasions and I really have never written my opinion on the subject..
There is no "right or wrong" here... just different beliefs, and often times it totally has to do with the "time frame" in life, how you were raised, and so on....
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