As I always warn people, I don't think I am even capable of writing anything "short". Even my emails can consist of enough words to be a "Novella" at times. That is the "writer" in me. Some people have "bugs" in them... I have "writer" and "voice" within my nature. The "bug" thing was to be a "ding" from that show that was on about all of the different "creatures" people had picked up, and then got very ill due to them. From fleas, deer ticks, to all kinds of worms, and so forth. That show was eery, but also interesting.
Anyway, as I mull it around in my mind what subject I may like to talk about, one item that tends to comes up in my everyday life is, "loyalty". When I say loyalty that could mean anything from being a "loyal" customer to a department store, to a loyal friend.
I was raised "old school" I guess you may call it. My Dad taught me (he was born in 1923 and lived a bit of what he remembered through the Great Depression), although he was very young; that everyone gets their commendations for being truthful, honest, loyal, committed, and to keep their word. On jobs, my Dad first of all was not all that thrilled about me having to work when I was young and my kids small. He was so totally raised in such a different time frame, that women did for the most part stay at home, and did all of those things, and men earned the paycheck and took care of bills.
Well, we all know that as "great" and fantastic is that may sound, for the most part, if you have a family, it takes two and sometimes MORE than to put kids through school, feed everyone, make mortgage payments, car payments, and unless you are fortunate enough, you never have "cash" to buy a car outright. You usually don't have "cash" to do many things for your home, your kids, and family outright, because everywhere we turn, things are so much more expensive. Cars (new) are no longer $2,000.00 cash. Heck you can barely use that for a down payment. If you are lucky, it will be that, but if not, you can expect more.
Same way with homes. My parents paid $50.00 a MONTH for their tiny 2 bedroom home, that included taxes and insurance for 30 YEARS. I am talking about a home that is barely 1,000 square feet. OF course they paid that off many, many years ago. My Mom still lives in that home also.
So, the idea of a "small town" everyone knows everyone, and used to provide a running tab at a local store that you paid at the end of the week. Or the small town, you got an awesome deal on local items due to the "Mom and Pop" stores that did line our city streets. Shamefully most of those are gone. Unless they have really worked to KEEP up a "self-owned" store; they have been overtaken by the HUGE "one stop shops" of these last several decades.
So, onto what I feel my post today is all about. Not long ago I had a situation where I felt that I needed to "honor" a particular group and my own "loyalty" to me, was to make sure I did all I could to promote things for these people. Well, I was asked some questions, and due to my background of feeling like I needed to remain loyal to one, the questions asked from another seemed to be "fishing for me" to use the first event to also "help promote" the 2nd event.
Well, I guess that is where I see things a bit differently than what happens in this time of life. I was told that it was not that I was being "not loyal" to first first event, if I used it to gain information, and "promote" at the same time another event. I felt uncomfortable with this, because to me, I was "using" one to help the other.
I was then told, that is was all a part of "networking". In other words, using "resources" from one place, whether a job, an event, a group or whatever, using your information from one to help the 2nd was "okay" and not "cheating" your original group you were doing things for.
I guess my "idea" is that for instance, I was working at a women's clothing store. I had been an employee for a few years, and I was "loyal" to them. I felt that was the proper thing to do. But, later down the line, I was approached by another women's clothing store, that would be a "rival" to where I worked. They asked me to send some clients there way by telling those who come into where I work, that they could go over to the "other" store and pay less, or get a discount, or something of the sort. Or say I was "moonlighting" at a competitors store, while I was supposed to be supporting who I worked for.
Those are kind of what I am talking about. I consider "networking" a tool used let's say by several organizations that do similar things. Maybe they are both in the place of "research" when it comes to a new stomach bug, or a new medication. If "they" as companies decide to "combine their efforts", then to me that is fine. It is on the "up and up", the Boards of both will determine all of what will happen, thus that is great and dandy.
But, if one or two employees from one place, go over to a competitor, and give out vital information about themselves to the rival, or in any way try and "get their foot in the door" by having someone who works there do it for them, to me that is NOT networking. It is just not correct. I feel it is something that if you cannot be "loyal" as a representative, then you should not be there at all. No one should "feel" even say best friends.... there are 3 of them. One tells the middle one about a certain free item, or better buy, or tells them that the "3rd" friends information could be used to help the other... to me that is just poor character, and no one should ever be asked in any shape or form, whether you volunteer, whether you work somewhere, any thing where it involves something helping the "rival" then to me that is just not how I was brought up. You GET MERIT for a job well done! You get where you are destined by being loyal, upfront, trustworthy, and not "back stabbing" someone else per'se.
Now I realize with this nation and our world in such a horrid mess all around, that these types of activities go on daily. Whether it be a "news" station trying to one up another, or a clothing retailer trying to gather inside information about a rival by asking someone to do the "snooping" around etc.
There are usually at least "two" sides to every story, and usually more than two. So, what one person deems, "networking" even though they may not have really used the entire truthful way to obtain a "foot in the door" or not, everyone sees things in a different light.
This is NOT about any one situation that has involved myself, but my daughter has ran into in even on a "school level" as far as her kids go. She sees it all the time, those who sometimes "get their way" and they are not as qualified as another child, then hard feelings develop.
If this does not make sense, blame it on my Lupus/RA/Sjogrens Brain fog!!! This has came to mind to me on several occasions and I really have never written my opinion on the subject..
There is no "right or wrong" here... just different beliefs, and often times it totally has to do with the "time frame" in life, how you were raised, and so on....