Monday, February 6, 2017

"Information" I heard from a friend, that I thought I would "share" BUT I am NOT saying this is true... about our Governor of Texas.

I found out an interesting fact about our Texas Governor. I guess I've been so busy and really not into much of what is happening here, there and yonder, that I also know why I didn't know that he is in a wheelchair, and has been after a tree fell on him years and years ago. After a friend of mine telling me about it, I went to his website, and to his Facebook page and noticed they never show many of his photo's where he would have to be "standing" and even the ones sitting down, usually you can't tell he is in a wheelchair. 

Now, I have not found out about this for sure, but I do know of course for a long while after the accident, of course he was on pain medications. I will not say for sure, but I gathered he probably still suffers pain from that injury due to arthritis, and of course something such as that, the older you get it tends to give you issues with stiffness, pain, and as I said arthritic issues. 

I say this because as I said I have not read it with my own eyes, but he has in his own way "taken up" for those of us with chronic pain that must take prescription medications. Us that truly are under a legitimate physician's care, and taking our meds as we should. Anyway, I waited a couple of days before putting this here, as I surely DO NOT want anyone to think I am saying it for sure. As I said, this came from a friend, and as far as reading he "said" anything for sure, I have not came across it, BUT we also know for the most part WE CANNOT TRUST OUR NEWS anymore. They will "say" and "tell us" what THEY can get headlines, and "sensationalize" stories for their own monetary and ratings gain. Thus with all of the "negative" crap about pain medications on the news everywhere now, they probably would NOT come out and say something knowing how they are. It may "hurt" their ratings or piss some of their "ties" to who know what off.... Rhia

The things I shared about the tree falling on him etc. is true. You can read about that online and the story about how it all came about.

But, as far as this about pain medications, I am NOT stating that I saw it, read it, etc... I have tried to look a bit, but not that it really matters, although having "someone" on our side, that KNOWS what we deal with as far as chronic pain, would be a nice change, other than being put down for "being dope heads" or "addicts" or that we are a bunch of "liars" and so forth.

As I said I am NOT happy with the news, any of it.. I don't believe half of what I read or see, because they want those ratings, and those millions of viewers, and all of the revenue from commercials etc. 

I just thought it was a bit interesting, and IF someone does KNOW of where there is an article or something that Governor Abbott did say, I would like to know about it. 

Friday, February 3, 2017

MORE BULL FROM OUR HEALTH INSURANCE COMPANIES (managed care bull) & spending OUR money on something silly rather than pay CLAIMS BETTER!

I've just about had it with Humana... they called my house at least 15 times while I was in the hospital. they can find MORE WAYS to spend our premiums and waste the money rather than pay our bills better. Now they have this "stupid program" for some of us. where they want to have a so-called "nurse" come into your home, and try and tell you how to run your life basically. After I came home, it was only a few days, and I got a call from them. Telling me this "nurse" would call and set up an appt. to see me.


Well, in the 1st place I DO NOT NEED any of their so-called snooping people coming to my house. I understand for those who may not take medications properly, or elderly and may not go to their doctors right, or not eat properly and so forth. For those, it may be a good thing. But, as for myself, I've just gotten home, my house is a "wreck" because I was right in the middle of taking out a couple of my older large area rugs from my living room and office, and ordered new ones. Then I had ordered a "new sofa" which was here before I fell, it is still sitting in the box, in my hallway.

But, I needed to get the old rugs out, get the floors and stuff cleaned, put in the new rugs, and then put in the new sofa-like type of futon I bought. BUT, I TOLD THEM DO NOT TRY AND HAVE SOMEONE COME BY FOR AT LEAST A MONTH!! I EXPLAINED I JUST cam home, my house was a mess of course with me being out for almost 6 weeks or so. I needed to get myself and my home in order so I would feel much better, and knew I would have follow up doctors appts, and now PT on my foot etc... BUT, THIS WITCH began calling me almost immediately. And she CANNOT get it through her THICK SKULL FIRST OF ALL, I DO NOT need them in my home. It is upsetting for me, especially with my house not in order yet, AMAZON LOST MY RUG FOR THE OFFICE! It should have been here ON MONDAY! THEY TRIED TO SHIP A DANGED 8 1/2 FOOT x 10 FOOT RUG through the POST OFFICE! So, I KNEW it would not get here. SURE ENOUGH, 1ST IT WAS DELAYED. I GOT so upset that I sent them an email chewing them out, because I just DECIDED TO TAKE THEIR PRIME SHIPPING FOR A MONTH, AND the 2nd thing I order THEY LOSE!

So, NOW my office is torn apart, stuff sitting everywhere, because until the rug comes in I cannot put stuff back and get it on my desk, and weigh it down, then I would never get the rug in how it needs to be. It's been this way now all week long, and supposedly the rug is coming in tomorrow on Saturday via UPS! HOW it should have been sent in the FIRST PLACE!! ANYWAY, this woman will not listen. I asked her to leave me alone, until after the 1st of March, so I can get my home in order, I am going to have to go to outpt PT on my foot a couple of times a week, and I am trying to get things all in order for the new puppy, before I bring him home. BUT oh hell no!

She is just insistent that by golly she needs to come NOW! So, I told her to leave me alone and again she insists on coming THIS MORNING, MY DAY I PAY BILLS, at 10AM! I swear I feel like not even answering the door! this is ridiculous! I went through this with them a couple of years ago, and told them off then. They wanted my pharmacist who had been filling my medications the same person for years to have me COME IN and "check my" medications! Well hell, for what??? He checks everything out each time he fills them!!! BECAUSE THESE PEOPLE GET MONEY FROM HUMANA FOR BUGGING US ABOUT CRAP THEY SHOULD KEEP THEIR NOSES OUT OF! LOL!!! I told my son that I may go to jail today, because I may push the witch off my front porch... of course I am kidding, but damned why drive people nuts SO THEY CAN MAKE MONEY, JUST LIKE SALES PEOPLE OFF OF US RATHER THAN PAY MORE ON OUR CLAIMS!!!

Thursday, February 2, 2017

The TRUTH on Pain Medications, Legitimate Pain Patients and their doctors, and the horrid accusations that others sensationalize that harm true chronic pain patients.

MAD IN AMERICA 

SCIENCE,PSYCHIATRY AND SOCIAL JUSTICE*

 AN ARTICLE ONLINE BY THE ABOVE!


This article RINGS SO TRUE! It is NOT Pain Patients who are legitimate and see their doctors, take their meds as prescribed and do all of the other things our doctors request. BUT, we NEED to be vigilant! 

 l locked away, just in case. I KNOW that ALL OF US who are truly CHRONIC PAIN PATIENTS, that DO need our medications, or we would be stuck at home, on the sofa, unable to do many things that with our proper doses and doing what our legitimate physicians tell us, we can have a "quality of life"... as I have said, if I had no pain, or it was manageable WITHOUT the medications, 

I would gladly get rid of them. But, I have way too many chronically pain illnesses and problems, that I have even had surgery on, yet that does not "fix" everything. Even with a broken hip, I was off the stronger meds in about 3 days and back to my "regular" doses once the hip was repaired, the hematoma taken out, and now I face what probably "caused" or at least had a probable reason for my fall. 

My right foot and ankle have been badly sprained. So, bad that I've had it X-Rayed 3 times because I could not even put it on the ground at first. I have some issues after 3 severe sprains, and being extremely flat-footed, and as we age, we become more flat-footed, that and the loose tendons and ligaments and probably torn are causing that foot to be extremely "unstable" as the foot specialist told me on Tuesday. My hip is actually quite stable, but that foot wants to "roll" with me, it hurts and swells like a grapefruit if I walk on it for too long or stand. So, I've gotten a corticosteroid injection in it, which hopefully will help some starting today, it takes about 3 days for those injections to begin to work, I start PT on it next week, and I now have special inserts in my shoes to help to stabilize that foot and ankle. It could be all of these fail and if so I may face yet another surgery to repair those torn tendons and ligaments in order to help stop the problems. But, IT HURTS! Just another reason my medications are crucial to my daily abilities to take care of my home, myself, and the things we "normally" do in our daily lives to have that "quality of life" as much as possible. 

Even with the RA medications, my wrists and hands, fingers are in terrible shape, and it hurts like hell to even sit very long and type.... so you NEVER get OUT OF PAIN totally... but the medications are designed to make the pain tolerable where you can do the things you need and want to do in your life.

https://www.madinamerica.com/2016/05/stop-the-war-on-chronic-pain-patients/

Extremely Important Announcment from the NIH in regard to aiding to put (MS) Multiple Sclerosis in Long Term Remission

Although I put in this on the top of my newspaper this morning, I felt this is a VERY Important announcement for ALL with MS (Multiple Sclerosis) !! by the NIH (National Institutes of Health)....



https://www.nih.gov/news-events/news-releases/stem-cell-transplants-may-induce-long-term-remission-multiple-sclerosis



 

 

These types of ground breaking events could also lead to putting other types of (AI) autoimmune illnesses in Long Term Remission!!!

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Right Foot "diagnoses" and causing much of my stability issues on the right side, answers & hoping I continue to improve... Foot issues, Want the Neck Surgery done) and wanting to get some new RA medication

I went out for a 3rd time myself yesterday, and went to run a couple of errands, then went by Legend Oaks to visit the lady who was in the room with me a part of the time. Bless her heart, she had been in the hospital a couple of times before Christmas with pneumonia, and she has had Diabetes 1 since she was a teenager. 

They were not really keeping it under control, and she was on several different types of insulin shots... and she was in there for a broken pelvis which COULD not be repaired by surgery. So, it takes much longer to heal on its own, when you have nothing there to try and help hold it in place and heal it. So, when I left I knew she would be in a couple more weeks at least. But, she has pneumonia NOW again, and it was bad yesterday when I went to see her. What makes it worse, is the woman they have in there now, I guess had a fractured hip etc... but she was a "chatter box"... had company running in and out, kept interrupting me as I tried to talk with Mary, and Mary looks really bad, she needs IV antibiotics with all she has going on.... I felt so badly for her, so I am going to see if there is anything I could take her with her having Diabetes 1 (and THEY DO NOT have a "diabetic" diet there, I thought that was stupid, with many patients having Diabetes) Anyway, everyone there could not believe how well I was doing... they were so pleased to see that I was back in my jeans, and clothing for town, and without a walker, and in fact, I carry the cane, especially in the stores, but I don't use it much here in the house.

 The main thing making me UNSTABLE is my FOOT AND ANKLE. I was correct, I kept feeling like my hip was very stable but that right foot felt terribly unstable and I was having to watch it almost more than the hip. So, sure enough, I went to a foot and ankle specialist that is in the same office of my orthopedic surgeon that fixed my hip, and I was correct. Due to the severity of the sprain in June on that right ankle, and then I did catch and twist it the morning I fell. That is what made me fall. I've been thinking over that morning, and now I recall that foot "hanging" and when it twisted, that is when I fell so hard to the floor. So, that means torn ligaments/tendons and I am extremely flat-footed. 

I had known that since I was very young. So, between the two, I have that type of "injury" (Posterior Tibial Tendon Dysfunction) or even a "Lisfranc) issue, but without a break so far they do not see any break, but of course my RA/Arthritis I know has a great deal to do with it, because the very 1st Rheumatologist I saw, X-rayed my feet and toes, and my toes "roll under" and are kind of crooked due to the RA. So, he put an "orthotic" in my shoes, to help with the flat feet, then put a steroid injection (WHICH HURT LIKE HELL) into that ankle and foot, and I am going to PT outpatient for a couple of weeks, 2 times a week, to let them teach me some exercises to try and strengthen those tendons and ligaments. I know that ankle has endured two very severe sprains, one when I was 40, then again last year, and before and in between it has always been very "unstable"... and that is exactly what he said, because I told him my hip feels stable, but the foot is what wants to "roll" or not be stable when I walk, which can be another cause for a fall. 

Thus it has to be dealt with... so I am hoping between all of this I see some improvement. I know from others that foot surgery takes weeks and weeks to get over, especially the tendons and ligaments, and you wind up in a "boot" sometimes for months.. last thing I need. I need to see my Rheumy and have my neck surgery first... and pray the foot gets better with this other stuff. 

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

More Post-Op Hip Pinning results, seeing a Foot & Ankle Specialist today & TELLING YOU, MY READER ABOUT MY BLOG!! By the way talk about one expensive accident!

If you have followed my blog, Facebook pages, or my Newspaper, you are probably aware of my fall on December 13th, that led to a fractured hip in two places, and the surgery, then PT Rehab that followed.

It seems it is never ending, and I had severely sprained that right ankle in June, in fact the weekend of my Mom's funeral. I accidentally slipped off the porch on wet grass, and sprained both, but the right one was very bad. It was black, blue, and extremely swollen for weeks and weeks. And still, if I am up on it for a long period of time, it tends to swell again.

But, after the fall and it being on that right side, I think it was my foot that actually got caught in what little device I had across the doorway to keep my pups out of the bedroom. So, I was in so much pain with my hip, it was not until after the hip was pinned and a couple of days after I noticed my foot hurt worse than my hip, and I could barely stand to touch it to the floor. They X-Rayed it twice, and there seemed to be nothing broken, but more probably torn tendons or ligaments, that the X-ray would not show. It got a bit better, but even after 8 weeks or so post-hip surgery, the foot swells and turns purple if I walk or stand on it for any period of time.

SO, I go to a foot and ankle specialist today, who is located in the same place my orthopedic surgeon that did my hip surgery is in. Which makes things easier, since they already have all of my information.

I have no clue what he will find, or not find. I just know I would like to have it looked at, so I will know whether it is going to just take time to heal itself, or what. It sometimes hurts so it causes me to want to limp on that side, which is not good for my pinned hip. I don't want to start limping, and make it a permanent thing. Also, last night for the 1st time, I had pain in my calves during the night. It woke me up in fact, and I thought it odd that the back of my calves were aching, so I got up took some medication, but I have not been sleeping very well anyway, thus I did not get much sleep last night, nor several nights before.

I tend to be "full of energy" one moment, and the next, just feel drained, and really just want to prop up my foot, and sit to watch a movie. Of course, I still face surgery, on my neck, which is giving me mortal hell, and the Rheumatoid Arthritis is bothering my thumbs and hands so much, but I need to get well enough to go to my Rheumatologist to get on some new medication.

The pain from both thumbs, and wrists now run up my arms, to my elbows, especially when typing or doing something tedious with my hands and fingers. So, it makes it difficult to sit here and type, when both arms hurt from the RA in my thumbs and fingers.

I know we have had this conversation now on several occasions, about life and how some of us wind up with all types of suffering, medical, financial, emotional, and it every realm, it seems to never end. I certainly feel that way, and I am so frustrated with it all. I have many mornings that I wake up with my stomach upset and nauseated so badly I have to take medication for it. I know I have GERD, and take meds for that, but this does not act like GERD. I am just plain nauseated, and not sure why. I have a great deal of head and neck aches, probably from where I need neck surgery, so that in itself will make me feel sick to my stomach. I also am trying to do the same eating routine that I did at the hospital, rather than eating breakfast late morning, I now try to eat around 8 to 8:30AM, then have some of that "muscle milk" or protein drink in between during the day. Maybe snack on a few crackers, or something in between, then eat dinner as usual about 5 to 5:30PM. I thought that may help.

Also, FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DO NOT KNOW ABOUT MY BLOG, WELL HERE IS THE URL TO IT: 

http://www.autoimmunearthriticsystemiclife.com/


I feel that I may have many out there who don't know about my blog, so they never see it.. So, for awhile, I am going to try and get the information out there about my blog, because it has lots of information, not just on myself, but RA, Lupus, Clinical Trials, different Organizations, such as the Arthritis Foundation, WEGO Health, the Lupus Foundation, the Alzheimer's Foundation, The Foundation for Autoimmune Arthritis, and much more.. medications, my experiences, events happening and my newspaper also keeps up with the latest stories and so forth at:

http://news.autoimmunearthriticsystemiclife.com/#

Life Chronic Pain, Autoimmune Illnesses, Arthritis and Dementia

PLEASE read when you can and I would love to hear from you!n IF there is a subject I should do more on, or something you may want to contribute, then please let me know and I will put more up, or consider some of your thoughts and your life stories....

and to top it all off, the EXPENSE OF WHAT THIS ACCIDENT IS COSTING ME, WILL HAVE ME PAYING FOR YEARS! It is totally ridiculous the COST of that surgery, stay for 5 days in the hospital and another 28 days in the REHAB!














Friday, January 27, 2017

After Surviving Two More SURGERIES, fractured hip 2 places, a Hematoma Softball Sized, and my 1ST TRIP out by myself in over 6 weeks!! And Mourning The Loss of By Precious Fur-Baby!

I came in from my 1st TRIP out ALONE earlier this afternoon..made it to the market, to my pharmacy, & to pick up the Angel that ever's had given out in a celebration of our loved ones who passed away last year. I missed it due to the fall resulting in the fractured hip, then another surgery to remove that softball sized hematoma. One of the women at the market, knew what happened, because she was buying groceries also, and came to me, hugged my neck and told me just how much pain I've been thru, that she said she could not be as strong as I have been. I hugged her back, and told her, that inside, you "find" the strength, and from "above" to help you to try and heal, to try and regain your own life, even though the loss has been tremendous. So, I got home, & Peanut was waiting for me, I let him out of his "carrier" (he love the thing and gets in it all the time himself... as I carefully brought one sack at a time in up my front porch that has only two smaller steps, and began putting them up, 

I went to put up some dog treats, and all of what happened that night with Bubba Gump came rushing over me and through me, and I had to come to my desk, as Peanut knew I was upset so he is sitting beside my deck, on the sofa.... so I opened up Bub's beautiful cedar box, and broke down and sobbed.... it is so hard to believe those few ashes, were once my sweet Bubby's..... 

I will NEVER be able to forgive myself, because I feel Bub's would be here, had I not been gone so long... he mourned himself, sick, and stopped eating and drinking, even though my son and my dog sitter were coming by each day to play with them and make sure they had fresh water, fresh food and clean paper...

 but I will never forget the night I held him so close to me, and talked to him, and kissed him, and he licked my face, laid his head on my chest and took a last breath..... all of these losses, are just about more than I can handle... Anyone that has "fur babies" or any pet they become attached to, and that pet attached to them, it is a loss of a family member if not worse. I just heard on the news last night, that a child will say at times, they love their fur-baby more than their parents at times... a pet loves unconditionally... and I know he is with Tazzy... and someday I will be with them, but right now it plain hurts....

Wednesday, January 25, 2017

WHEN INSURANCE companies try to cram MANAGED CARE BULL DOWN PEOPLE THROATS!!! HUMANA!

FINALLY ALL of the STAPLES are out of my hip!!!!! And I am "released" to do my activities, as I feel that I can, as far as driving, cleaning, and so forth. I see them again in about 8 weeks, and I hope to be able to then start arrangements for my neck surgery. If it is done in March/April it hopefully will be still cool enough to stand the collar being on for a couple of weeks, and then I will be good to go for the Summer and outside stuff. I am PISSED at one thing, and I am just about ready to go OFF on Humana.... we all know this bull about "managed healthcare" that MANY of us are NOT happy about... 

while I was in the hospital, I got home and noticed Humana had called my home phone at least 10 time maybe more. Which is stupid.. So, last week I get this call from some kind of "person" who calls to tell YOU, there will be a "nurse" call and make an appointment to COME to YOUR HOUSE! Well, I had told them last year. and the year before, I do NOT need anyone coming here to "help me" with medications, or "safety" in my home (I did not "trip) over a rug etc... 

 I caught my foot doing something silly, and that is why I fell, not due to some "hazard" in my home. So, I got in the door barely yesterday from having the staples out, and in fact my son was still here and we were talking, and the phone rings, and again it is HUMANA... this time this "nurse" who almost INSISTED she come by TODAY, because she would be in this area. I told her in the 1st place, I just walked in the door, I was having the staples removed and was at my doctor's office, and he released me fully, and including I did NOT NEED any further PT Therapy at home. I was doing it well myself. So, she gets almost pissy, and I told her you CALL me tomorrow, and let me LOOK at my schedule, and then we can talk about a date you can drop by.. 

but I will be damned if some stranger, who is coming to "snoop" around and tell me what I can, cannot. should, should not, and so own do in my own home.... as my son said, they are doing this, trying to find some people who THEY DEEM should be in a "managed living center"... well I am 56 YEARS OLD, and I sure as HELL CAN MANAGE my own living!!!! I AM SO PISSED, because these jackasses think they can tell us, when to eat, sleep, and take a pee, and I will NOT have someone coming in and trying to OVERRIDE, what my own physicians tell me, that I can and cannot do - 

I know there are elderly people who maybe on their own, who cannot manage their medications, or be able to do many things in their homes, and those are the people they should be listening to and speaking to or their families!!! NOT someone who has their daily life under control.......

Friday, January 13, 2017

Update on My Going Home, I CAN DRIVE, and drain is out - Lupus & RA Plays a huge role in my getting Well

I got the drain out this morning, and am going home TOMORROW!!!!! Yet, as ready as I am to go, it will be so difficult to leave having to go home, and not have my "family" here in Rehab around me...

you don't realize how "attached" you become to some people so quickly when you are in a situation such as this. But, I have Peanut waiting on me, and once I am settled I will have my new puppy coming home :) So, I am hoping it's not going to bother me as badly going home and Bub's not there...... 

 Plus I have permission to DRIVE!!!!! I have more staples from the hematoma removal, and they come out a week from next Monday. Then if all goes well, I can have my neck surgery in March... so good news, and some hesitation just knowing I am going from several people I've gotten close to... will be difficult for the 1st few days.... 


they have Home Health coming Monday to the house, and come out for therapy but my thought is I know enough to do on my own, and I will be "ready" to just try and get back to my own "normal" rather than someone coming in and out several days a week...

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Saturday is "D" Day for me (Discharge Day) from Rehab - Excited,Thrilled, Terrified, how to "move back" into real life yet knowing the Osteoporosis could cause further issues

Finally I knew that day was coming soon - the "D-Day" of my own life, discharging and going home from Rehab...

I've been asking "how much longer" now for months it seems; although it has been "weeks" and not months... Yet, after being told yesterday, I would be leaving Saturday, I felt a "good panic" and a "bad panic" in my head and gut.

I am thrilled to GET HOME! To my life, my eating, sleeping, and living habits, BUT I am still going to be limited as far as "what I can and can't do" - and that scares me. I am so used to doing my own thing, going to the market when I want, cleaning my house the way I want, messing around in the yard, caring for my plants, doing laundry, and all of the usual stuff, from vacuuming, cooking and cleaning, yet just now I figured out with this walker and going home, that even carrying a cup of coffee is not going to be the easiest thing in the world... trying to push that walker with one hand, and carrying the coffee was kind of "difficult". But, I've got to learn to "make my own ways" around, and hopefully I will be on a cane soon, where one hand will be free to carry some things...

BUT, on the other hand I am totally terrified to go home... since I left lots has changed just within a month tomorrow actually. I fell on the 13th of December and had surgery that night. I got to rehab about the 18th or so, and in the chaos of it all, I lost my precious pup Bub's who I feel grieved himself to death missing me. He was so upset for me to leave for a day, or a few hours, I think he just quit eating, drinking and laid on his favorite spot, and wasted away, waiting for me to come home. He passed away, and he had lost so much weight, I just could not believe it, when he died in my arms a couple of weeks ago. Peanut, is so much younger, so he has gotten used to Jason being there, and he so far seems to be doing okay.

I am going to be getting another puppy soon. But, first I've got to get me at the house and settled in. I need rails built on my front steps, and I need I feel a new set of steps built on the back. The concrete ones back there are so steep, even with rails, I feel they maybe too steep for me to try and bring groceries in, and so forth.

I never thought I would be one to be worried about being alone, but that is not because I fear someone getting in etc...I fear having an accident, and hurting myself again. This hip fracture was a total accident, but I am going to have to try and learn to slow down, not try and take on so many projects at once, and know that "tomorrow" on many thing is another day. After all, I face neck surgery soon, and possibly lower back surgery this year. I have that new car sitting there, and I am so used to doing so much on my own, waiting to have "help" putting on the plates, putting in the sticker and so forth, I am not one to put off something waiting on someone else to do it for me... So, my fear is my own restlessness. I also need to rearrange my kitchen where I can reach things that now are in the top shelves, and I must stand on my little 3 step ladder to reach. But, my kitchen cabinets are not all that great, and trying to arrange them will be difficult. Now I wonder if I should have picked Mom's house, maybe it would be easier to get around in... yet it is what it is and I've got to cope - I also know I am going to owe $$ on this damned fall and hip fracture, plus I'll have to cough up funds on the neck surgery, and lower back surgery also... so those in themselves are enough to worry me. My credit issues I spent 10 years or more getting straightened out from my 2nd marriage and all of the high bills he ran up maxing out credit cards, the last thing I need is to screw it all back up with doctor and hospital bills.

So, YES I am thrilled, and YES I am TERRIFIED to go home at the same time.....