Showing posts with label Chronic Fatigue. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chronic Fatigue. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

"National Pain Report and a New Book about FM and CFS....


 

FIBROMYALGIA and New Book You maybe interested in.....


http://nationalpainreport.com/new-book-gets-to-the-underlying-cause-of-fibromyalgia-8834612.html


Since I really LIKE what National Pain Report says, here is a new book they are talking about, and it's in regard to FM, (Fibromyalgia) which I know MANY of you have, have been diagnosed with it, or told you "may" have it or what they also referred it as, "Chronic Fatigue Syndrome"... I know MANY years back when I was trying to find answers to my "nightmare of several times a month migraines" I had several physicians tell me they thought I "may have" Fibromyalgia, or then also they referred to it as, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome... 

back then it was so NEW, they really had NO CLUE about it at all what it was, what caused it, or EVEN IF IT WAS A REAL DIAGNOSIS... I know MANY women continued to "hear" it as a diagnosis, when doctor's did not KNOW what was wrong, with WOMEN especially so it was either you have FM, CFS, or you are "stressed" or "depressed".... which aren't we ALL those things, whether we are "chronically ill" or NOT... plus being stressed or depressed it NOT just for women, but MANY men now days also... but since I realize that IMOP (which my opinion is not really a matter here) but I THINK that FM is an "autoimmune illness" just as any other like Lupus, RA, Sjogren's, JRA, and the

Sunday, February 22, 2015

WEGO Health Awards Judging, Chronic Illnesses, Pain & The Brave People That Find the Strength and Courage to Talk, Blog & Write about it

As I worked on my WEGO Judging over the past couple of weeks, I've found that there are some incredibly strong women (and men) out there living their lives everyday, with one, two, three and more chronic illnesses, syndrome, and pain. They have also been through the HELL of hospitalizations that lasted for months, endless surgeries, transfusions, being not even able to eat and being fed through an IV (as I did in 2010), and some of them like myself, at that time the doctors really DID NOT KNOW what was wrong with me. My own PCP has made the statement since then on several occasions that he was extremely concerned back then I was going to die. Endless numbers of specialists came to see me... most of them were of a foreign decent, and frankly I could not understand what they were saying to me. Many of them at the time, didn't really know what the hell "Lupus" was. They blamed some of my illness on the Lupus, yet, they also were treating me for what they told us later was a "collapsed" bile duct. It was literally leaking poison into my abdominal cavity, rather than it going out of my system and being filtered out by my intestines, and out as it should. I had several "tubes" running outside of my right side. Later I had to even come home with them still in place, and we had to watch the fluid that came out into the bag, to make sure it was becoming more "clear" and not bloody etc. I went through that for several weeks. For at least 6 weeks I never put a drop of food or anything to drink in my mouth. There was a huge bag of "nutrients" that was white, and I was told it was a certain concoction mixed up by the pharmacy for me. I went through nights that I barely knew where I was. In fact, I spent mt 50th birthday having yet another surgery. Jim, my son, and my Mom were there because they had told me to "call my family" in, "just in case".... "Just in Case"???? I had at least 8 or 9 other IV bags hanging and pouring into me, pain medications that I watched the clock for and begged each moment I knew I could have more.... I really have never "told" this entire story, from start to finish, here or on my blog. I have put bits and pieces about it over the years on both, as well as it will be in my book. It took my system weeks to even be able to withstand a regular sip of "Coca-Cola in it. It would put my entire stomach and intestines into a "tailspin" and the next thing I knew nurses had to come in and change my entire bed, put me into the shower (dammit they never warmed it up enough and this was the middle of February and one of the coldest Winters in TX since I had been back).... any thing that was "food" "stunk" to me. Jim would go and try to find something I could stand to even remotely put into my stomach, and even certain kinds of bread smelled so bad to me there was no way I could take even a bite. Why I am telling this now here, I am not sure. Probably due to one of the blogs I read over the past few days, and her own battle with what later was diagnosed properly as Crohn's. But, more than that, it seems each year that February rolls around, which my Dad's birthday was on the 2nd, Ground hogs day, and mine of course just passed on the 15th, almost a Valentine Baby.. and it brings all of those weeks and weeks, and honestly months back into my memory. How ill I really was, and how it truly it is a miracle I am here today to type about this.... so ALL of you... everyone of you that have the stamina, bravery, the "guts" (no pun intended), the wear with all, strength... and many more descriptive words to say how incredible you are to tell "your" story. Whether it be autoimmune in nature, arthritic, FM, MS, and all of the other Chronic Illness and Pain so many of us endure... so WE can go out and tell others "it is okay"... you are still you.... you are not "less than", that life can be full, and fun... you just have to sometimes decide upon a "new kind of normal"... that is what I have to do, and even now... "normal" can change at any given time... I am THANKFUL, to be here this morning and able to tell a portion of my story... and I am thankful for my family, my spouse, kids and Mom, that support and love me, even though I feel like I disappoint them at times... and my true friends here that also love me for me... sick, well, mad, depressed, happy, or whatever I maybe at that moment, those out there know I mean you... that support and love me unconditionally, with Lupus, with Sjogren's, now with dentures and not my teeth, with the joints replaced, and the pain pump hanging from my right side... I am still "me"... and I feel blessed.... thank all of you for accepting me no matter whether brain fog hits, or I find myself on the sofa for the day, or I am up cleaning and doing "normal" things.... I am blessed.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Missing Many of Life's Amazing Things ... through the Eyes of an Autoimmune Patient



Memories of What The Past Life meant back then, and How to “begin” Anew Once Your Life has been totally turned upside down and pulled inside out…

I started writing this yesterday evening. Then I worked on it some this morning. I have a great deal to add. But, I am in the middle of having the Flu. I woke up yesterday morning with the worst headache, even worse than any migraine... and my entire body from head to toe hurt and ached. I knew I had to been running a fever, thus I was. It started at 99 degrees, and quickly began to rise even after aspirin, Tylenol.... it was already up to almost 101 by the time I decided what to do. First I called my PCP. But was on hold at least 20 minutes with them. Thus even though I did get to leave a message for my doctor, I knew he would probably need to see me. The last thing already figuring I have the Flu, and then my Autoimmune system compromised.... I decided as badly as I felt to go to our local Urgent Care Center. So, I did. Thankfully when I arrived hardly no one was there and I got into see the doctor quickly. He did verify I have the flu. I got the Tamiflu script and he told me to be prepared for a horrible cough to come. So, he gave me cough medication to be prepared for that. Anyway, I wanted to at least get this much posted... and I promise when I am feeling better to finish it.... but here is the beginning of just how much your life changes when an autoimmune or chronic pain or illness comes along...


I had this come to mind yesterday afternoon. I was doing something in the kitchen and I got to thinking about just HOW MUCH life has changed within the past 20 years. Some of those things are okay to gone and blown into the 4 winds. Some although, have created turmoil in our lives, and honestly it scares the hell out of me.


When I think back just 10 years ago, Jim and I had first met, in 2003, on a Memorial Day Weekend. I was searching at that time for the “one” special person in my life that I could share everything with. I actually went to Seattle thinking I had found him. Yet, that relationship was never meant to last. As I’ve seen and felt now, I realized that relationship was never really meant to be. It was more of a stepping stone to get me out of Texas, out of the horror of Domestic Violence that had been dragging me into the black hole of no where. I needed a drastic change in order to get my own life back, to get a new perspective on life, and a new, The ”odd”  part of it all, is I went not truly prepared as far as my clothing, my attire was more for a lighter cold, and not a heavier cold weather. Fortunately, the weather was fairly nice at that time of the year (I had arrived in Seattle at 8:00 pm Halloween Night 2001).

I think back on the times even before Seattle, before the Autoimmune Illnesses began to rear their ugly heads. Those days are for the most part all gone. The years I could decorate my entire home for Christmas. From the kitchen, bedroom, to the living room, kids rooms, bathrooms and even outside the house. Everything was in a “Kris Kringle” theme. I was always so Christmas oriented, and I never wanted it any other way. That was just one piece o the puzzle of life, that always seemed to make sense. 

Never back then did I ever give a thought that life would be “different” and that I would not be in a situation that I could no longer do so many of my daily living activities that I had become accustomed to over the years. I had a few instances that due to Migraines I was to bow out and not attend a few things. Yet, never would I have dreamed within 10 short years, I would never be able to do so many of the things I loved to do again. But, it had and had happened.

I can’t blame it on anyone or anything, I’ve just fallen into a realm of life, that has robbed me of the beautiful things I used to be able do. This is an insight as to just how much my life, as well as many others lives, have changed from the bottom to the top in so many different ways. We don’t even realize how many things are never the same. I think we become so complacent in some ways, while our concentration then goes to other places where we never had to go. For instance, new doctors, all of the different diagnosis, medications, what we can do with diet, exercise, different and alternative ways to help ourselves feel better. I think for me I went into the “untrue” mode. I refused to believe I had a chronic illness or illnesses that would take my life and flip it all around. Then for many, we go from doctor to doctor, fighting insurance companies to pay, finding out some doctors that we think “should know” about our illnesses do not. Physicians had so “specialized” themselves to the point that one Rheumatologist may deal with RA, but not really treat Lupus. Another may deal with Lupus, but not really deal with MS. Multiple Sclerosis in itself a strange disorder. It is more of an “autoimmune illnesses that harms the nerve endings” thus often time a certain type of Neurologist maybe the doctor to see. Yet again some Neurologists know little or do not really treat MS. So, it can be an extremely frustrating, trying, wanting to give up time that will actually take YEARS in many cases to get the “right” physician, who knows the correct information, and can properly give you a diagnosis, that ultimately can then be addressed and treated.

So, a couple of days ago, I got to thinking about the “little everyday things” I no longer do. The list continues to get longer and longer. I no longer cook as much from “scratch” as I used to. Baking has always been one of my favorite things to do. An example is just about every year since we moved here in this house, I have made home made pumpkin, date, banana breads and more. Then one year I actually made “mini-loaves” of fresh home made baked bread right out of the oven. It turned out so beautifully. I also make sugar cookies, cut out and decorated, fruitcake from my own “family” recipe, fudge, sometimes peanut brittle, cookies with the kisses in the middle, and more. We always wrapped it all up individually in decorated plastic wrap, then made a “Christmas Sack” for each of our 5 closest neighbors. I was a highlight of our holiday. I spent weeks and weeks baking and cooking hand and home made everything.

This year things are so just under the radar of holidays, that we probably not give anything to the neighbors, if so it will be only a few slices of fruitcake. I’ve not made any of the breads, the cookies I am not sure if I will feel like it, especially now since I have the flu! I don’t do as much baking from scratch at all, but have had to go to boxed cake mixes and store bought frosting. Cookie mixes rather than me put them together myself, and same way with pies. I often buy the “canned” fruit, or creme - like key lime or lemon, then I do make a crumb topping for them. So, that is just one of the many things, I no longer am really able to do. Either fatigue, or being so slow at everything, or being in pain, or feeling ill… even my own “daily home” cooking has fallen below “home made” which is NOT good because everything is full of salt, sugar, even the “light”, “low fat”   or low carb stuff tends to be not that healthy at all,

I used to mow my lawn, and do all of the yard work. From planting, to gardening, to flower beds, and house plants, I did it all. Now I do well to half way rake up leaves, a couple cans at a time, and forget the mowing, weed eating, and even trying to hoe is very difficult for me.

I can no longer wear my 5, 6, and 7 inch platforms heels. I have loved those so much even before they became all the rage again in the last couple of years. I have 3 pairs of very high heeled platforms that I totally dream of wearing again. When i go into the shoe store it almost makes me sick to see all of the incredible high heels and platforms. yet I cannot even attempt
to think about wearing them out in the public. I would certainly now fall, due to my artificial knees, and taking a chance of a fall, just is not appealing when I have “severe osteoporosis”.    

Of course no snow skiing which was my biggest thrill. I can still somewhat play the keyboard, piano, and I can still band around a short while on the drums but not for long.

Some things I can do, but it takes me 20 times longer than it used to. If I am getting dressed to go out somewhere special I must start at least 4 hours early if not more. I am then lucky if I am ready on time, Even typing this, of course I also have the flu at this point, but my wrists, thumbs, hands and fingers are beginning to hurt and become too stiff to type. The brain fog hinders what used to be a mind that could spin around in 15 directions all at once, and I could multi-task and get them all done and feel wonderful as I did them. I miss college classes. I miss being able to walk 5 or even 10 miles a day. I miss traveling, vacationing, heading out for a weekend  get away.

I get sick of planning a day around being sick. I hate getting up and never knowing if I will feel “okay” or horrible that day. I am pissed that I can’t do things like put up my light fixtures, finish mudding the bathroom walls, painting the outside of the house, laying my flooring in my bathroom and kitchen and all of the DIY things I used to do on a daily basis, never giving a thought that I may not be able to do the little things, like get flowers for Christmas out to Dad’s and my Grandparents Graves. By now I would have Dad’s Tree out there all decorated… and Poinsetta’s for my Grandparents.

Sometimes it is difficult for me to type, to write, and to clip coupons. My hands don’t seem to work as well, and neither does my brain. I FEAR that if I don’t write my books (the next 2) very soon, I may lose the “brain power” wording, spelling, and aptitude it takes to write a book and get it published.

There are days that even the simplest words seem impossible to spell. Maybe the simplest sentence I have problems with finishing properly. I am one to NOT use the same word over and over again. But, without the Thesaurus, I would never have the brain as I used to have that remembered everything, no matter how large or small it was. Days I lose that ability to find them within my own thinking.  I used to be a grand speller. I had 100’s on every spelling test and then I won many spelling contests because I was so great as a speller. People cam and asked me how to spell a certain word, and used to I could rattle it off without hesitating.

Being able to learn new things. That was my forte’. Any and everything I didn’t know something about, and was interested, I wanted to learn. And, I did. Whether it was flying a plane, or knowing how one flies was remarkable to me. Even my “Annual Christmas Letter” that was usually all decorated with a border and colors for the typing, got left with me printing the letter on regular paper, in black and white, with no border. It was too much this year for me to deal with and I knew I needed to get the cards out before it was too late!                                                                                                     




More to come......

And thus it continues... the brain fog is so bad, I forgot I had already posted part of this... so here is more.....

Even at this, I am almost feeling like I got "off topic" of what I wanted to say... but I shall post this next installment....

It continues to be the “little” things I had enjoyed so much in my years before I became chronically ill. I was able to do just about everything from going to college full time at night, working full time, taking care of my two kids, a home, a mortgage, car payments, and everything that goes along with those things.

The day that I knew for certain I would no longer be able to hold down a full time job anymore, was on of the most depressing, the saddest, the fearful, time of my life. I had no idea how I would make it in Seattle. Jim and I had already met, but he was living with a friend over by Lake Washington, he had a full time job, that actually was knocked to part time, so he had his own portion of rent and bills to pay. I was very leery of anything at that time…. from even thinking about Jim and I, we had just really met, to finding another at least part time job. I had rent monthly, and a car payment monthly, plus my bills which were not that bad with just me. So, I looked actively for a job daily, from the paper, online, asking around, and even went for a couple of interviews both at banks. Both seemed like great positions, but they also seemed very stressful, and it would mean me working MORE hours that I already had been working, which was one reason I got ill in the first place. So, I was offered both, but turned them down graciously. This was about time my lease for my apartment would be coming up. I knew that the woman above us was not thrilled with our TV (which was a 16 inch tiny TV with an antenna inside, or she would gripe if we smoked outside on the deck… said she could smell it… well there were lots of wooded areas, and honestly I think she was just jealous that I had found someone that was coming over fairly often. Anyway, the problem was my own next door neighbor. He was the one with the very loud music and television. But I knew I needed to go and not sign into another year’s lease. So, when it came time to make a decision, I decided to take my stuff, and move in with Jim and his room mate. It seemed “smart” and cheaper at the time. We did have some beautiful memories of Lake Washington, and it was an incredible several months we spent there before we decided it was more than time to move out and find our own place. We did just that. We moved just North of Seattle into Everett. Smart move, loved our apartments and the manager was such a sweetheart….

 It seems from there things began to look brighter… and then in 2005 March, Easter Sunday, I lost my Dad to a brain infection from a knee surgery that just never turned out right. He had that surgery on Feb 15th 2005 my birthday. So, there is always mixed emotions when I try to celebrate.

We found ourselves going ahead with our marriage plans in Vegas about 10 days after going back to Seattle, for I knew Dad would have wanted it that way. Then we also knew it was only a matter of time, and I would need to be back in Texas, close to my Mom. Being an only child, and my Dad took care of everything, Mom was not even able to put gas in her car.

At the time, I had already hired an attorney, and was in the process of my 2nd appeal for my Disability, Social Security benefits. After a short time in California, for a job Jim got that was not working out, we loaded up the U-Haul once again, and headed for Texas. We had no clue what we were going to do when we got there, but we knew we had to come back. So on December 19th, 2005 we arrived in Ennis Texas. I had already checked on apartments, so luckily we got into one just a couple of days after arriving. They were so nice and hurried to clean it, touch it up and laid new carpet. So, we celebrated that Christmas in Ennis. Actually both of my kids, and my two Grand children got to come up and we had Christmas at our apartment. We had bought the very last “real” Christmas tree in town, and it was scrawny but we decorated it, and it turned out beautiful.

We spent a year there, and in about August 2006, I got word I would need to make a trip to Seattle for my “hearing” for my disability. We flew back, not knowing what to expect, and when we left I did not know for sure if I had “won” my case or not. It might be a month before the judge sent me the letter. But, I could tell from his comments in the hearing that he probably would give me a favorable outcome. Thus about 5 weeks later, I got my letter saying I did get my full disability and they paid me retroactively back from 2004, so I got a fairly good sized check. We looked for a house, small, but something we could work on, yet not too much work, and thus we found our house in December 2006, and got to move in after much DIY renovations, paint, redoing floors, and so forth, at the end of January 2007.

My disability then meant I had Medicare. I took a Medicare Advantage Plan, and then the real fun began. I had 8 surgeries in  2007 alone. Two total knee replacements, a shoulder replacement, wrist surgery, bladder surgery, my other shoulder had been scoped, and my hips injected a couple of times. My left elbow had surgery, and the right one was giving me issues, but I was fortunate enough that my right elbow and so far both hips have been able to stay together enough that the corticosteroid injections have kept me from having surgery.

In 2009, I went to a new PCP (Family doctor) that after a couple of months of seeing me, did a great deal of blood work. I had even mentioned Lupus, RA, or some other type of autoimmune disorder. He thought so also, thus the blood work came back showing I was positive for probably Lupus, RA, and later confirmed I had Sjogren’s and Raynauds.

After those diagnosis, things went nuts from there. Rheumatologists, several that really were not specializing in my type of issues. The pain had already sent me to a pain doctor, who was treating me for the chronic pain, migraines and all of the pain that went along with the AI illnesses. In 2010, he made the decision I needed an “internal pain pump” to try and get my pain more under control. So, October 2010 I underwent yet another surgery, having it put in.

All of that and more are why my heart breaks when I watch someone on Television skiing down a slope full of white powdery snow. Or, when I don’t feel well enough to go out to the store, or to even sit here and type. The brain fog causes me all kind of issues, from having to make list after list …. Even writing this, I did not recall that I had already posted a portion of it on my blog….
                                                                                              



Sunday, November 9, 2014

Some of Life's Little Disappointments - Especially When It Involves People, Promises and Illness

I've been on what some might call a "tear", "Rampage", "soap box", "griping session", or just plain bitchaaaching and griping over the past couple of weeks.

As this age, one would think by now, I would totally understand PEOPLE will let you down, disappoint you, make you feel less than, not as good as, or like you are some 3rd "rate romance", in some "motel rendezvous" - Touche' as some would say. A title to a song by Sammy Kershaw if my memory or what's left of it serves me correctly. Well, someone may have actually recorded it before him, but I do remember liking his version, especially with his voice singing it.

I am NOT "literally" speaking of any "incident" involving some 3rd rate romance or any kind of motel rende-anything... but the "feeling" you must have when you feel like you have some how it "bottom" of the pile of humanity. Those that seem to be sitting on top of you, and not even caring they are smashing your
"innards" onto the floor just beneath you.

I will say, taking totally up for ME, I've in all honesty, sick, not sick, felt like crap or not, kind of like "sickness and in health" have worked my butt off the past two years and honestly more, as a voice, advocate, volunteer, activist and Ambassador for the things I hold near and dear to my "stance" about humanity. I am definitely and maybe even a bit defiantly cut from a "different mold" than some. I would think that from the time I was about 4 years old, I totally became different than many kids, and later on, than many adults I have known or heard of. I have kind of "beat and whistled" my own horn and drum so to speak. I rarely go for the "normal" of anything. I've never felt being "normal" was anything but basically boring. And who in this day and age of almost being able to do anything... the SKY literally is the limit... would want to spend their life normally boring??? I did for years, OR I tried to "think" I was going with the general flow of those around me. Well, hell, I can attest that now I realize where I went, what I did, who or whom I met, saw, spoke to, and how I decided many years ago to live my life... was for many NOT considered anything but normal.


Sometimes I have to wonder if that is the reason I am "chronically ill".. as silly as that sounds, let me explain further. For those of us that are fortunate enough to have very little issues with our health, then you truly cannot possibly put "your feet in someone's shoes" that are chronically ill and/or in chronic pain. If you have been one of the people that rarely missed a day of school, went on to college, and the same happened, then you went out into the working world, got a job, and you just never miss work because of illness, surgery, and so forth. I have to wonder if that is even the "norm" now days. Maybe it is because I am a fully fledged "chronic illness" survivalist, that knows rarely a day that everything physically feels ALL RIGHT! It is usually one, two, three or more things happening to me physically, that effects my emotional and mental health also. If you awake to pain every morning of your life... you know without a shadow of a doubt (unless some miracle happened in the night) that you WILL awaken with some kind of ache, pain, or something that kind of makes your start of the day, a bit slower than many. For those like myself, that have to run to your desk (well almost more like crawl) take all of the "early morning" medication that you HOPE will give you a reprieve from pain, illness, or whatever maybe happening on any given morning of the week or weekend... so that is in itself is your 1st priority. Then you dive into go and turn on the coffee pot, and probably take a look at the MANY things on your list or lists that you either NEED to, HAVE to... get done... or more like what you can possibly PUT OFF until the next day or later in the day once your joints, bones, hips, shoulders, neck, feet, ankles, thumbs and probably the rest of you are kind of "lubricated", jump started like a small car battery, & then after the brain fog lifts... you maybe able to begin your day.

ADDING THIS FROM TODAY SINCE IT KIND OF GOES ALONG WITH THE ABOVE... NOVEMBER 9TH 2014...

AND HERE I GO AGAIN... STILL ON MY "SOAP BOX"....


As if I were not busy and stressed enough I decided to take the Defensive Driving Test again... just for the 10 percent off my insurance but all and any discounts help for sure. I am doing it all online which is great. But, damned I don't remember it being as long as it is now. It has been a long time I guess since I took it last. So, they have probably added more to it due to cell phones and all of the new technology in cars that can help and also hinder with distractions.... so now I am in the middle of that, along with waiting for Geico to answer a question before I change policies, and then I had paperwork to come in for another thing I am in that has to be done every 7 months, I have three appts next week, the dentist, blood work and my heart doctor, plus my last Arthritis Foundation Ambassador meeting for my year of training is Tuesday afternoon, so I find out it if I've done everything to be an Ambassador, plus possibly did the extra things in order to be a "Platinum Ambassador". I found out the article that I've sent to our newspaper goes in (either it went in yesterday and wouldn't you know I did not get my paper) or it goes in tomorrow. I had an email from the new editor of the paper. I had sent it in about 3 weeks ago, and heard nothing. So, I resent the email, and still did not hear anything. I went down there early last week with a copy of the email and the article. The woman told me then they were having a change of staff, thus the delay. Well, I got a very nice email from the new "editor" who told me he was going to make it a "Highlighted" Article in the "Life Style Page" with my photo on it and everything! So, it is in the works also... but through all of this, then have have a "week" reprieve from APPTS!!! - only to have ONE EVERY DAY OF THANKSGIVING WEEK!! I HAE TO HAVE my pain pump refilled 2 days before Thanksgiving, Mom and I see the PCP the Monday of that week, and then I have to go back to Dallas to see my Rheumatologist the day BEFORE Thanksgiving... when ahe the heck am I supposed to have any time for a holiday... sometime next year I guess!!! It is insanity, and that week will be nuts anyway, due to many being off the entire week, kids out of school, parents possibly taking a few extra days off... I hate to think about Dallas Traffic... especially during the week of a major holiday... nuts, they already can't drive on normal days, much less during holiday time... I dread it... MY problem is also I am not feeling very well at all... I thought a few days ago I might be either coming down with something, or had a flare coming, ... and I just have not had the energy I really need to get over all of these doc visits, taking care of the house, grocery shopping... speaking of... I went Friday for my "stock up" we are OUT OF everything grocery trip... and I knew it would be a load. I took in about 7 or 8 reusable bags knowing I would probably fill them full. Well, I got about 3/4 of the way through my list, and I was hurting so badly in my lower back, my right hip and lower back, and side began to just hurt like hell. My feet were hurting like they do in the mornings when I first get up, and I was just almost not able to push the basket around. I had to LEAVE off part of my list, get in line, check out, get them to carry the bags to the car, and go directly home. I was a total wreck, by the time I drove home, got 7 bags of groceries that I could barely lift into the house, and then had to put it all up... myself... Jim helped by helping me empty the bags and sort stuff out, but he can't bend over, reach up, get on a chair etc... so of course I still had to get everything put away, and was grateful I saved 46.00!!!!!! in coupons... but it took me a couple of hours to print some, cut all of them out and organize them, then get them and me to the store, and get them out and double check them as I bought items to make sure everything was correct and check out....then of course as I said above get them home, put up etc.... I have and continue to discover between the time it takes me to get ready, shower, hair, makeup, then to get everything prepared lists, coupons and so forth, put myself in the car, get to the store, and walk through a huge store then get everything home... it takes all of my SPOONS for the Day and then some... and IT SUCKS!!!!! It sucks to feel ill, it sucks to feel old, it sucks to look old, and it just all sucks right now.... I cannot seem to get myself organized enough anymore to keep me from taking 5 times as long as I used to before the illnesses....

Thursday, October 30, 2014

A Bit "Bass Ackwards" - Going to be a post from about a week ago... Topics for Blogging in November - Feel Welcome to Join in...

I had mentioned in a post about a week ago that last year in November one of our Health sites had put on a "30 days in November - 30 different posts each day event". I had actually thought it was for this coming November, then found out it was actually last year they did it rather than this year of which they done in 2013. So, I decided it would be a good way for me to find some "subjects" to post on that maybe a bit different, as well as getting all of you to jump in and join me. I said I would post some "subjects" for the days of the week, to get us started, and then please if you have any subject that has something to do with illness, medications, doctors, diseases, anything medical feel free to tell us your opinions.

So, I am going to kind of post the subjects that were from the last years November posts, so I can get us started with a few ideas.

Here We Go:

November 1st - IF you use "smart phones" or an I-Pad, I-Pod etc and are into "Apps" what is your favorite medical app? Do you keep up with your exercising, or calories, or do you use some type of to keep up with any type of health problem you have? If so give us the name of them, along with the reasons why you like those particular apps. If you don't use an application, then name a online site or sites you may use to keep up with information on health.

November 2nd - How about a "List" of things you "Know" you can do...

and others you "think you may do in the future"...

i.e. (I KNOW "I can tell my own personal health story to others")

vs. (I "think" I can cook, clean, go to the market, and wash the car all in the same day") - kind of a "realistic" look at what you CAN do in your daily life, vs. your sometimes a bit "unrealistic" view of what you WISHED you could do or still do in your daily life"

November 3rd - Do you have a "Mascot"? In other words, my "Mascot" is a hummingbird. Why a hummingbird? Because they can go any and everywhere fast as they can fly, they are able to bring beauty to our scenery. They don't harm a thing, and the bring joy all around when they appear around me feed out of the feeders I have up for them. So, do you have a "mascot" or something that represents beauty, strength, tenacity, wellness, and wholeness. Or possibly is there someone or some thing you might like to be, or something you maybe able to do, such as float like a butterfly, or someone you might like to be...

November 4th - How do you Feel about "alternative medicines" and do you use them?


November 5th - What are 5 things you can do that you thought once you were chronically ill you would not be able to do once you were diagnosed with a chronic illness/illnesses?


November 6th - Name 4 things that you are NOT ABLE to do anymore since you have became ill, that you truly miss being able to.


November 7th - Do YOU take YOUR MEDS as you should daily? Or do you take them on a "hit or miss" situation?


November 8th - Do you feel your medications are working to help you? If so how do they make a difference? If you feel they are not making you better, have you spoken with your doctor to try and change things around or do something different?


November 9th - How do you handle those that don't "get" what "invisible illness" means when you run into them? I am sure that most everyone of us have ran into those who "don't" truly understand or may not even "believe" we are chronically ill. Do you have your own  condensed "story" that you tell them, or do you just ignore them, put it off as "ignorance" and leave? Or do you some days feel like just "going off" on them and reading them the "riot act" when it comes to their own "stupidity" about chronic pain, chronic illness and how they treat you? I feel I've been through ALL. There are "days" I totally have the patience to "explain" a bit, and then there are times, I just want to YELL at them?

November 10th - Throughout your road of illnesses, diagnosis, medications, doctors, pharmacists, what was the most impressive turning point or inspirational moments in those times...how long have you been chronically ill?


So, those are a few to get you and I started. If you have ideas you might like to see discussed feel free to put them here under comments so we can see them. I will "answer" more of these myself also.....

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Trying to find My Way Back - to What A "Normal" Autoimmune Diseased Life Should Be...


I began this as a post on Facebook early this morning, Sept. 2, 2014. Yet, after writing on it for about a half hour or more, getting up to check on the dog, and my head pounding... it dawned on me, "Get your other stuff caught up... i.e. make some sugar free jello, make the chocolate fudge cake for the weekend, getting the "stuffed peppers" I bought the stuff to make on the day when it was supposed to be cooling down; thus this morning seemed to be the best morning. I had thought about going out to wash my car. I thought if I did maybe rather than continue to "test" and tease us, it would actually rain. Well, so far I was wrong, as it all has done lately. It seems the weather has made many of us hurt terribly. Physicians (some physicians) want to tell us we are full of bull when we say that the "weather" doesn't effect our lives as far as our pain, joints, headaches, and so forth. I know beyond a doubt that from the barometric pressure, to "cool fronts', the humidity, rain, sleet, snow, thunderstorms, you name it, many will more definitely have an effect on chronic pain illnesses, joint issues, and many of the "2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th and so on, disease that follow right along with the primary diagnosis. I had been concerned lately over "Shingles". I have seen way too many of my online friends, as well as close kin folks and friend that have had a breakout of shingles. I found articles stating people that have never had them, have well over 2 to 1 (50%) chance of having shingles if you have an autoimmune illness. I've been concerned over my illnesses because I feel I can't quite find a place of "remission" in any of them. I am on the medications, I am trying to do everything I can correctly, rest, eat well (ah, that one is hard with the teeth issues I have)           This next paragraph or paragraphs if you would like to say below are what I began on Facebook. I copied what I had already typed on and then decided I am going to "stick" to my word. I am going to post the bulk of the post here, then just put a small snippet in FB, with a link back to it here in my Blog. Blogger has made some changes, some good, giving you more options and other than just add chaos & confusion. I was hoping FM would slow down a bit and give people time to catch up. Sure many of us are "hooked" on line 24/7/365. But, all too often we don't have time to sit around and figure out the "new" things on FB, Blogger, and the numerous other sites we "belong" to. It reminds me of all of the stores I frequent here in my home town. About the time you learn how to use your markets check out debit system,  they bring in one that is "better, bigger, more secure" and also confuses the hell out of me. Then you run over to your pharmacy, same thing, now they handle the entire way you check out totally different. Now try to go shopping two or three department stores! Everyone one of them, either has a new "card" for you to sign up and and get 20% discount. Yes, the first time, and then after that, all you get an email box full of junk from them daily. Then they have all of these mark-downs with an "extra 20% off" at the register, and you either have your calculator out, they might be nice and have a "chart" up on the rack telling you what the cost will be after the "extra" is taken off at the register. Anyway, when you are already dealing in trying to keep your sanity with a brain fog that seems to only be getting worse each week; the lists that have now become the lists of lists you need to take care of and LORD forbid I not forget something for someone, a doctors appointment, or even something as trivial as getting "change for the coke machine, or picking up a drink, some kind of soda that if I don't, no one else would think about how thirsty I get when I am having to drive anywhere, and in fact I cannot walk through a huge store like a Wally World's, unless I stop by a front counter and pick up a drink to sip on while I shop.                                                                                                                 

I've been telling this now for awhile to my family and friends. Not only had my physical  issues change, I seem to have slowed down to a crawl at times. My brain cannot function, I feel it takes me forever to get ready, then I look down and there is always something else that needed to be done, or I forgot to put on "the list" .... heck even times I do well to remember the name of a room, or the name of what is in that room! Store names, my own phone number, it seems that may "brain fog" add          


I thought I would post this on FB at first, then changed my mind. I is a combination of several days posts, I began days ago. I changed my mind and want to put it here first, then really tell about these feelings I have on my blog; then share them that way. I will put this on my blog, but it has been on my mind now since I went to Winstar last weekend with my Mom. As most of you know, due to all of my extensive sharing, I LOST ALL of my Teeth to Sjögren's within a year. It sounds almost impossible, and I know from everything I've read and been told, that they "damage" that could not been seen probably had been going on since I was first diagnosed with Lupus, Sjögren's, Raynauds, RA... and who knows what else. That was back in about 2009-10 when the very first real "blood work" was done, and the doctor took ALL of my years of symptoms seriously to put them together. When he did, I was sent immediately to a Rheumatologist. This gentleman, a Rheumatologist no doubt for many, many years, still even used "gold injections" on occasion on patients. But, he was far from a dummy, and further he end  around the corner there in his office to have blood drawn, urine and he did even a more extensive workup on me. But even that first day, just by an examination of my toes, fingers, wrists, thumbs, feet... he "felt" and the saw the damage. He also saw that I had Raynaud's immediately, and I had an "hyper-extension of many of my joints, almost like being double jointed. Even after that first visit, I was so upset that it had probably been going on for years and years.. my Xrays showed my toes and finger joints being bad already, so none of this happened over night, and not one doctor until my new PCP at the time, could ever put ALL of my symptoms together. It was somewhat almost a relief, yet it also very scary also, No telling what had really come of "damage" not detected since it might have been years this was going on, yet no one could explain the severe migraines, the extreme tiredness, the not being able to "multi-task" as I once could, having just about every joint either already been injected or had surgery or even been totally replaced before the age of 50! No one could truly explain how someone, like myself, a very fit woman, (walked, ate properly, exercised daily, kept my weight down, and yet I had a heart attack at 40 years old and another at 50! Nothing made sense, yet no doctor could put it all together either.. what made my new PCP at the time think "autoimmune issues" I don't know... Maybe a conversation I had with him about me thinking I had "Lupus". Anyway something finally "clicked"... thus here I am today, far into the realms of autoimmune illnesses... and the latest issues the Sjögren's... so here I am now 54 (since Feb 15th) ! battling a battle I thought I would never have... losing my teeth and having dentures... and won't hold until the "mini implants can go in, which will be another 60 days or more. I am not going to lie They are a pain in the butt, or mouth I guess. They seem odd, too much "junk" in your mouth, a pain to have to clean, then put in each morning, then have to brush them, clean my mouth and put them in, then out they come at night... you cannot sleep in them. And eating in them for now is almost impossible. Even my "bite" pattern is completely different, which I am thrilled about, because they are "pretty and I wanted pretty teeth all my life, just never realized they would have to be "fake" and not my real ones. But, I honestly felt like once I got these new teeth in they would "fill in" where I had lost many teeth, which in turn would fill out my lips more, my bottom cheeks and lines around my mouth. I was hoping to "see" a bit different maybe even more youthful (by a few years) me.... but guess what? Nope.... did not make that change nearly as much as that as I had so hoped it would. I just was so disappointed, because I did not realize with the scars from the accident years ago, and the two small scars from my fall right around my mouth. I keep thinking, well, like any other woman, there has to be a way to "tighten" up that skin, or "bleach" out those darkened scars. I even went so far as to  begin looking today and am going to research some of these new facial creams out on the market to see which ones really work, and which ones charge a fortune, yet do nothing. I come more and more to realize I must take even better care of my skin. I have always pretty well used the proper things on my face and skin, lotions, I always take my makeup off at night, allow my skin to breathe and so forth. But, I pray quitting smoking will also reduce some of those lines around mouth. I see elderly women who probably smoked all their lives, and they have all of these deep seeded wrinkles around their mouth, and I always said I never wanted to do look that. But, dammit, when the teeth are out, I somewhat do and it upsets and embarrasses me to have anyone see what it truly looks like. I know we all age, some of us more gracefully than others... and depending on how well we have taken care of our bodies, minds and spirits makes a huge difference in the way you look as you age.

So does having these illnesses like Lupus, RA, Sjogren's age us faster? In all ways, in some ways.... what do you think????? I want to know how you feel about the subject and how many of you really take great care of the hair, skin, nails, including your face? If so, how and do you feel it is making a difference??

             

Friday, April 11, 2014

Wanting to try and Give You an Update

Of course many of you already know about all that has taken place with myself and my husband, the accident, DC and the entire gamut of the past three weeks. What began as something so wonderful, was so abruptly ended in such a disaster.

I, nor honestly any of us really know what the hell happened out there coming into Dallas on I-45 a couple of weeks ago. There were three vehicles, 2 of which claim that "saw" it all". One man that says he "saw" from his own front porch what He thinks he saw, yet in the blink of an eye, it seems almost impossible for anyone to have just "happened" to have walked out at the exact time that something like this was taking place. It cab happen, and I understand that. But, the odds of something like that happening, and then between "hearing" and turning around to also "see", as I said odds are what you saw and/or heard were more than likely two different things.

I also know there was people that told myself and the gentleman that was at the time helping in in D.C. after all this took place, that my husband was NOT at fault. As a matter of fact, we both were told by the same "trauma" unit physician about the wreck itself, as much as they knew then, the injuries, how many and what "type" of vehicles were in involved. The details were very specific at that time, even down to all of the injuries they thought Jim had, and there was a long list. So, whomever this Doctor was (and I have his name) and also the name of the nurse who called the first time. As I said they repeated the list of injuries, the information about the accident and even went so far to say that it appeared an 18 wheel tractor-trailer that "ran into the back of our car.

Well, in the first place, lesson learned, get a lawyer immediately, if is it fairly bad accident and even if no one was injured, just get one. Secondly, do NOT wait the "10" days for a police/accident report to be "ready:". If you have to CALL three times a day every day until you have it in your hands. That bull about "10 days" was bull. My own insurance company and the others involved in the accident had much quicker than we were told it would be ready.

KEEP everything! Every note, every receipt.... parking, eating, anything... keep each & every receipt. At the time those things do not seem all that important, but that night I took a fall at the very hotel we stayed at, I kept all of my receipts from both. I did not know that I maybe needing medical attention or how badly I was injured etc. Actually I thought I just had a cut all the way through my lip and a scratch or two. Now, I am dealing with an infection and dry socket from a tooth that had to be pulled, along with now I have a chip in the tooth next to the other one, and my lower right hip/back is just giving me the blues as far as pain. Of course do I know that it is he fall? Well, speculation. But, I was not having issues with any of that until about 7 days later. Then it started acting up. Even an any kind of fall, or accident sometimes it is a week or more before all that is really wrong. So, never get up from a fall, or any type of thing such as that, and completely think oh "I'm okay"... you may think... but bruising on the inside, especially deep so nothing "feels bad, or looks bad", until it has had time to manifest itself in the right manner,

For the most part right now I wanted to let everyone know, that as lousy of a time this all is, right now we are just trying our best to put one foot in front of the other. When something such as this takes such a toll on your life... nothing I don't think every truly returns to what you thought was "normal again".
No matter whether an accident, or a chronic illness, anything that "moves" your life in such a dramatic way, forever more gives you a different vision...

I am still not near the place I am really comfortable to write about all of it. I am just trying as I said above, to keep my ducks in a row! I have several things "due" like my Mom's tax form, that I GOT to get done and in the mail by Tuesday, or file an extension...a which if I have to I will..

I also have some "brain fog" type mess happening to me... I think honestly what I need to do right now, is get off this computer, fix me some breakfast & watch a couple of movies for now. I am feeling lousy and my mind does NOT work, when I feel physically crappy... so I maybe back on today and I may not be. Also, don't panic if you happen not to see me post etc this weekend. I do have to finish those papers and get them in the mail, plus I have several other things hanging over my head I just need to get done and off my plate, When those things bothering me, I am never going to put my head back on straight. Plus whatever is going on with my lower back and hip are not helping things at all. I can barely sit HERE when I         KEEP TRYING TO FIND SOME WAY it does NOT hurt to sit. So, I am off for a bit today.... and I will sign back on and talk more once some of this stuff is off my shoulders,..












Wednesday, March 19, 2014

More on RA- Critical News when it comes to how it Systemically Effects the Body...

There are several great links, article and information that is critical to know about  RA and how it can Systemically Effect the Body. Many people think of "Rheumatoid Arthritis" as "arthritis", which is TOTALLY WRONG!  "RA:(Rheumatoid Arthritis) can effect just about every part of the body... starting at the joints sometimes. Yet, it can cause horrible fatigue, heart problems, liver and kidney problems, problems with the brain, with they eyes, with the ears... and so much more. That is why you see so many of us trying to "get the word out" and spread the news these are serious illnesses that when you delve into them, you find they can be "deadly". Lupus, which is another Autoimmune Arthritis,  can even be worse, damaging skin, bones, the heart, liver, the lungs, causing severe fatigue, brain fog, and leading to heart problems and stroke problems. Women and/or men with RA have a 50 percent chance HIGHER in have a heart attack or stroke.

When I saw these a moment ago, I wanted to post them. They go along with the WAAD14 and all of the information, research, and activist roles we are in with the IFAA, the Arthritis Foundation, WEGO  and many others out there trying to get better research that would lead to a earlier diagnosis, earlier treatment, less sign effects & catch these illness BEFORE they do GARVE Damage as they have on many of us.                          


http://www.medpagetoday.com/resource-center/rheumatoid-arthritis/expert-interview/a/44104


http://www.medpagetoday.com/resource-center/rheumatoid-arthritis/early-diagnosis/a/44107



http://www.medpagetoday.com/resource-center/rheumatoid-arthritis/



http://www.medpagetoday.com/resource-center/rheumatoid-arthritis/Infographic/i/38228?xid=nl_mpt_DHE_2014-03-17&utm_content=&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=DailyHeadlines&utm_source=WC&eun=g773630d0r&userid=773630&email=rhia@ravishingrhia.com&mu_id=5952786

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

"How Serious" is "Lupus/RA/FM... MS.. and so forth "Brain Fog"!?

Brain? Fog?   I Can't remember!?



I know for myself, I've tended to make a "joke" here and there... blaming something I misplaced, or did not remember on the "brain fog". I think in the RA... Lupus and all Autoimmune World, we use that not in a "joking" manner, to really joke about it, but because I can bet, like myself in the last few weeks, my "Brain Fog" has turned into no laughing matter.

I am in the very worst flare of a combination of Lupus/RA right now that I believe I've had since diagnosed 4 or so years ago. I mean from fatigue that makes me not able to barely drag myself around my tiny home, to so bad, I cancelled my birthday trip last weekend, to I just do not feel like do anything. The Lupus Headache  - nothing will get rid of but a huge dose of "corticosteroid" and even though I could barely do it, I managed to take a shower, and go slowly into my doctors office to get some medications. Not bad enough I have flares of both, but also a sinus infection plus some "wheezing" she was very concerned about. I had told her I have been "wheezing" for a bit, but just thought it could be allergies, so I didn't let it concern me much. I have an inhaler here, so this morning I decided to use it. I would not tell her that I've been having times of "shortness of breath" the past 4 weeks or so. I could not withstand another test, walk to get an X-ray or anything, so I left with injection done, called in scripts, that I have to pick up today... and got myself home.

I've had all of the signs and symptoms, from low grade fever, mouth breaking out, the Lupus Migraines, the severe fatigue, every joint, even the bottoms of my feet hurt, thumbs, all of my joints are stiff, swollen and hurt. I think I've gotten so accustomed to these stupid symptoms, I "forget" they are symptoms. I just assume they are things I have to live with. But, the one that has really set this flare apart, from every other, is the torrential "Brain Rain" not just a haze or fog... but the horror of ALL of my brain seems to be aged into the 100's or something. I can barely remember my name. I've decided I've got to make MORE lists, for the ones I already have. I cannot recall words, or remember what day it is. I can't spell words, or I forget the word I wanted to use. I have walked around now for the past 7 days in such a spell bound haze... going into a room, and not knowing why... misplacing things, can't remember if I took my meds, or a shower even. My concentration is none... I am barely able to read something and "have any retention" of what I just read. My husband "talks" to me, and I cannot recall in two minutes what he told me... I type everything wrong... misspelling, typing backwards, or just not typing right at all... There are just a NUMBER of "brain" involved things that I have never HAD such a horrible time with before. Sure I might have a bit of an issue at times, with something like a word, or the name of something. Yet, never have I saw myself in this horrible of shape as far as the brain portion of Lupus etc....

My fear, and I even feared looking it up, is that either the Lupus has done something MORE to effect my brain now.... or there are other factors such as MS, Myasthenia Gravis. I have not really came right out and talked about just how I fear what is going on to anyone other than my husband and Mom. I don't want them overly worried, but I've had to let them know that I may "act odd" or say something weird, OR I may just have to get on the sofa, and rest all day. I do have my Enbrel coming in finally tomorrow... BUT, if it has not been for HUMANA messing me around, I could have already had my infusions 6 or ore weeks ago, and I may not be in this kind of condition. That in itself is another story, and I believe I've hung that one out on the line to dry enough, that everyone is sick and tired of hearing my FIGHT with the insurance over my Rituxan.

So, today, or so far this morning, I've read more about the Lupus/Brain situation, as well as what do to, which much of which involves all of the horrible symptoms I've been having. Along with that, a variety of ways to "help" yourself with the pangs of "Lupus" and so forth.
Most of us are aware of some of the brain fog... as I had said above... it kind of becomes a ''running joke" when we forget etc.... most of the things I already do... lists, stickies, I-cal, and more lists. Making me more specific lists I think may help me. Of course as one of the articles said, if you DON"T write it down immediately, then you may lose what is was;)

I've also found myself, mumbling more, which I've "talked" to myself forever, but this is different. It is like I am almost in a hallucination of sorts. I've noticed I tend to be sitting somewhere, like the doctors office yesterday, and in my "brain" almost this odd movie plays... does not have a thing to do with what I was there for, or listening to.... yet within my mind, almost an hallucination WAS playing... so much and frightened me badly. It made me think I was losing my mind! You fear mentioning it, thinking someone will really think that the "padded" cell is where you need to be.

I find myself thinking I am between "asleep" and "Awake".... I know what is going on around me, but yet it is almost as if my brain took a quick trip somewhere else....

Which has been the most frightening symptom... Plus I find myself wide awake one moment, and within a moment..... it is just a very strange place to be..

Anyway, even though I should be either "here", writing on my book, or working on some of my Active Volunteer stuff, I think I am headed for the sofa for now. I feel like I can't hold my eyes open.... so, I shall possibly rest for now... and try doing something a bit more "prosperous" in a while....

Friday, November 22, 2013

Fibromyalgia new theory on Adrenal/ Thyroid glands & certain chemical levels could be a cause...

http://communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborhood/steps-authentic-happiness-positive-psychology/2013/nov/11/fibromyalgia-indisputable-proof-claims-uk-research/



One of the largest mysteries I believe in the last decade has been(  FM) Fibromyalgia  and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. There has been a tale to tell on every piece of the wide spectrum of these "illnesses", from it is that women are "nut" cases, it does not exist, to it comes from some type of tests on rats that was supposed to have been answer, & then it was finally and formally called FM, an illness.

Most of us that have an autoimmune arthritic disease (es), have probably had this be a "diagnosis" somewhere during your hunt for the "real and definite answer"... may not be "red" but truth is what we seek.

Then there is the huge dilemma that has been the talk of any and everyone that has FM and/or CFS(they seem to run hand in hand) from the Whittemore - Peterson clinic I believe right at the state lines of Nevada and Colorado. For several decades the talk about how almost every "well" person in town came down with this "yuppie" flu, I believe was one of the many names it was called over the years. Yet, as I think about the "glands" in our bodies and how much they control everything, it would make perfect sense that at least as far as the symptoms, "they fit the bill." Our Adrenal glands, including the pituitary gland, the thyroid gland, the adrenal glands, I think Just lately I found out there are like 400 glands in our bodies. Those two adrenal glands are vital for us to live. They control weight, appetite, have lots to do with hormones and how they are regulated in the body. They control your temperature, and without them would would quickly perish. But due to fatigue, lack of being able to withstand temperature changes,  and many other things that keep our bodies running.

If you are interested in more information as to not only adrenal glands but the endocrine gland system, you maybe quite surprised at what some of them are. Ovaries for one are an "endocrine" gland.

Onto this new article and FM. I've always in my own thoughts (I am NOT a doctor and do not perceive to be) just IMOHO, they are some type of an autoimmune disease.  AFter all think about HOW MANY OF US at one time or the other, or even now have, have had that diagnosis. Then how many of us felt we were given that as a "junk" or "Trash Can" illness, so we would shut up. Then they fill us full of antidepressants and tell us it is "stress" and "anxiety"... we need to just "chill" . As I sometimes say "just another brick in the wall"... now they are trying to convince you it is ALL in your HEAD! And the very sad thing is, there are doctors out there today, that have heard all of the reports, yet they still throw out FM, when they can't seem to find something to "stick". I thought the portion about "lab work" and those quote "normal" ranges that come from the labs frequently. And as I said on a post of FB, I've had it happen twice to me as of lately. I called them on it after I did some research, and U was correct. That "so-called normal" range was NOT normal for me at all. Both cases caused me to have to stop one medication and the other I had to take a new medication for. Had I not pointed those out to the doctors, it may have been looked at later, or possibly not until I had further symptoms. So, it is just another reminder to WATCH OUT FOR YOU! It is a critical thing each of us with these types of chronic illnesses MUST do, to have a better quality of life....

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Hectic Week - Lots going on... Dealing with Lupus Flares, Fatigue and Pain

There is lots out there I am putting on Face Book, along with on some of the sites where I belong and blog. It seems there are so many worthy places to find good information, great advocacy, lots of links where you can read the latest on so many illnesses, and what is being done to fight them, that I try to spend my time between those, and my own blog, my own writing, my book that I so want to desperately complete, and reading. It takes patience, and stamina to just post, especially when you are dealing with even typing making your body hurt. My right shoulder is just giving me fits. So, trying to sit here and type for any length of time is a nightmare. I was so hoping I would see some relief from the cervical injections, but I know those probably will not help my shoulder pain. About the only thing that is going to relief that is replacement surgery, plus now my pain specialist is recommending an implanted pain pump.  Yesterday, I did go through the cervical injections. I am hoping that it might help somewhat, but I have my doubts. The chronic pain has been with me now for so long, and my joints and discs seem to be falling apart more quickly, as the days pass. It truly sucks. It is hard not to want to belong to so many of the pages, groups, blogs and so forth on Face Book, and the other sites I have found. They all have lots of incredible people that are trying their best to do good, to help advocacy, to write, to support others, that it seems impossible not to belong. What I need to do I feel, is begin to take all of my posts, and make sure I keep them. Much of my own writing that could go into my book is right there in my daily posts online.

So, I am making myself a promise starting today. I am going to begin writing everything down in my journal that I post daily. I will try and go back and copy some of the things I have already written, and be sure I put them in the place I am writing for my book. I now realize that taking my posts and doing that would put me in the realms of having my book. I thought about calling it something like - The Dichotomy of Chronic Pain and Illness - Pieces of Me. Which would fit right in, through the daily chronicle of my living and learning about pain and chronic illness. For I am the bits and pieces of my own psyche, my own suffering, my own learning, posting, blogging. It is a daily look at what it is like to go through living with Lupus, RA, degenerative joint disease, the medications, the ups and downs, the flares, and how being online can makes a world of difference, where you can find support through groups, lots of others that become a part of your extended online family, where you find love and caring through others, where you learn more about your diseases, conditions and illnesses, where you find doctors, research, clinical trials, and those passionate about making life better. Without my own line friendships, there are days I would totally give up and give in to be content to sit on my butt, and say to hell with the world of pain. That would be the easiest thing to do. This month is Pain Awareness Month, it is also Invisible Illness Month, that goes right along with many of these illnesses. Those of us that fight these syndromes, illnesses, diseases, and the pain and suffrage that go along with them, can tell you we get to the point daily, we would like to "throw in the towel", but faith, hope, and the love of others keep us coming back to our computers to find people that keep us going, even in the darkest of times. When we can't sleep from pain, when we have endured yet another surgery, or a failed treatment, we come online and there they are, those that want to lift us up, give us hope that we have to smile to ourselves.
It gets me to thinking about all I write daily on these blogs, and groups. I learn so much from so many, I get lifted up when I am at the bottom of the barrel of despair. These people deserve a huge round of applause. They work daily to make life more bearable, even in their own illness and pain, they come to Face Book, to pain blogs, to Lupus blogs, to so many wonderful places online to support those who hurt also. I feel these wondrous people, are just like myself. They are Moms. Dads, patients, caretakers, professionals, novices, writers, poets, every day people, just trying to make a difference. We all want our own pain and suffering to go away. We all want to wake up one morning to read headlines that discoveries have been made for all of these nightmare illnesses and see that the puzzle, the mystery has been finally solved. We want to read some grand medication or therapy will just blow into our lives, and we will be cured for good. We don't want to give up or give into what hurts, but there are days, weeks, months, and even years, that feeling well is just not in our cards. So, we blather on, online about the great days, and the days that suck. We find hope in one post, or online through a news article. We score over the websites that tell us that a cure is near. Just like Benlysta. I have followed that one medication now for a couple of years. It has given me hope, that it will be the miracle of all medications, that it will be my cure all, for the Lupus Flares. Each day I mark off that approval from the FDA is just one more day closer. Yet, will it really be the end all to Lupus flares? The results of clinical trials are saying it is definitely worth trying. But, until it is out on the market, and every day Lupus patients begin to use it, we can only go by what the pharmaceutical companies, and their clinical trials gibberish tell us. Like myself, it is difficult to put your trust in what these companies tell us. After all, they are the ones that prosper if millions take the medication. They are the ones to get rich and benefit the most from us as patients. If the doctors press us, in desperation we are just about willing to try anything if it means we might not have flares, we may see pain relief. We will go to the ends of the galaxy, fly through the black holes of where ever we need to if we remotely feel we might find the final frontier of relief, through the many pills, injections, infusions, patches, and creams. We spend our time awaiting that clinical trial to say, this is the Holy Grail of making us well.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Little Known Virus Could be the answer to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

This is a true breakthrough for the millions suffering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Those with it and related diseases such as Fibromyalgia have gone for years with little hope, very little explanation as to the cause, medications, research, and possibly a cure! I am thrilled about the thought of the possibility of some way to avoid or cure this life altering syndrome.

Plus, rather than make it appear it is all in our heads, now there is more proof it is truly a very real illness.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/09/health/research/09virus.html?ref=health

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