WEGO BLOG CHALLENGE FRIDAY 18TH, 2016 - "CLICHE'S YOU HEAR about you, your health, and the "one" or ones that really get under your skin and how you may turn those around...
I realize "we" as chronic patients have many "cliches'" we hear that makes us want to pull our hair out at times.. Some worse than others, from "you are "sick" you should not be doing that", or "if you would "eat, drink, exercise,rest, sleep etc (right), you would "feel" better, or I just cannot see why you "think" you feel so bad, you don't look like you feel all that bad, "GRRRR".... or rest for the day or two, you need it. Let "a friend, sister,brother, and so on, "do that for you". I saw you were in the doctors office or hospital, have you been sick AGAIN? Or "panicky" I "heard" so and so say on Facebook, they saw you went to Urgent Care (now this is 3 or 4 days ago), I was worried, are you okay? Call me if you "need anything".... and that list just goes on and on and on... we have heard them all, and then some... for sure.
"How are you doing?" And before I say anything, I guess I must say I catch my own self "asking that same question at times to others".
This very one above is probably one phrase that tends to get under our skin the most, and one we hear the most... "How are you doing", you are looking just great"!
Well, my answer to that has become "If you have a few HOURS to sit down over a cup or several cups of coffee, I can TELL YOU ALL ABOUT HOW I FEEL AND HOW I AM.... not really "screaming" but wanting to as we "grind our teeth, under our breath!
This business about just because someone "looks good" or maybe does not look so great at one time or the other, may not have one thing to do with our illnesses OR it could have everything to do with them. So, I truly have just began to say, unless you have an hour or more, or would like to sit down for a day, then there is NO way, I could explain it all, within a few minutes standing here in the market.
I know it sounds harsh, but 1st of all, it gets "their attention", because they are expecting you to say , "I'm okay"...or Things are not bad... yet you come back with a phrase that throws off what they thought you would say. It also makes them stop and think, well, maybe just because he/she looks a "certain way" does not mean they are not well or well... maybe other things in life are going on besides being ill. Maybe something is wrong with a friend, or at your home, or plumbing, or your car, and so forth. We may not "feel" all that bad, but have other things causing you grief, in fact more grief that if we were ill. I know when I am already not feeling all that well, and then something like a car problem, something as small as the tires needing air, or feeling like I am on overwhelm and cannot get everything accomplished I need to, will cause my stress level to rise, and thus my "feelings of illness could be worse" than if things were going more "level" in life.
I know when my Mom got so ill at the first of the year, and I was ill myself, in need of surgeries, trying to keep up my home, my puppies, her home, her medications, my medications, cleaning, cooking, being there when she needed something, going to the market, taking her or me to the doctor, making sure I was there for the medical staff or later the Hospice staff to come over. Basically, being 10 people all at once, postponing my own surgeries, doctors, and tests, so I could tend to her, I know I looked horrible most of the time. I did "feel" like makeup, dressing up, and even then people would ask "how are you doing"? Oh Gosh, I wanted to scream, 'HOW DO YOU THINK I AM DOING"?
LORD BLESS THOSE WHO TRULY DO NOT "GET IT"... they have NOT lived it, so they just don't get it....