Dementia linked to Autoimmune Illnesses? This is both interesting and frightening....

Dementia Risk Up with Autoimmunity

http://www.medpagetoday.com/rheumatology/generalrheumatology/63498?xid=nl_mpt_special_reports_2017-03-09%20&uun=g773630d0r5952786u


Here are a few excerpts from the article on Medpage Today...

Among the 25 autoimmune diseases, 18 had significant positive associations for dementia (P for all <0 .001="" p="">

• Addison's disease, RR 1.48 (95% CI 1.34-1.64)
• Multiple sclerosis, RR 1.97 (95% CI 1.88-2.07)
• Psoriasis, RR 1.29 (95% CI 1.25-1.34)
• Systemic lupus erythematosus, RR 1.46 (95% CI 1.32-1.61)
• Thyrotoxicosis, RR 1.31 (95% CI 1.27-1.34)

Of the 81,502 patients with autoimmune disease who also developed dementia, the subtype of dementia was identified in 42,568 -- 20,032 with Alzheimer's and 22,536 with vascular dementia.


Risks for vascular dementia but not Alzheimer's disease were increased for idiopathic thrombocytopenia purpura, pemphigus, scleroderma, Sjogren's syndrome, systemic lupus erythematosus, and most notably, for polyarteritis nodosa, with a rate ratio of 2.12 (95% CI 1.42-3.05, P<0 .001="" p="">
I have a "genetic" factor for autoimmune illnesses on my Mom's side... and also Dementia and Alzheimer's on my maternal side... Cause to really be upsetting and hope they do much more research into this....

SHINGLES??? What NOW! Always some thing to deal with medically it feels like.

I began to put the cabinet together yesterday. Looks like the actual "corners" that are "damaged" will be on the bottom of the cabinet in the back portion I think. Anyway, I still have about 30% to finish. I was actually putting it together in my hallway, but I am thinking about taking what I have put together now, into the back bedroom. 

 

If I put much more of it together, then it will be too large and probably too heavy to move into that room. I had to take some things out of that room, and make a space large enough to work in. But, I have an "odd" thing going on. For one, although the weather is kind of dreary, cloudy, and rainy looking, it is not all that cold outside, more just a very damp coolness. 

 

But, I've been COLD now for 2 days, upset stomach off and on, and I "thought" something had bitten me, or stung me on my left arm. It began feeling like it has "fiberglass" on it, that tingling, stinging, very itchy feeling. I've not felt all that great now for several days, and I figured it is just the weather causing me to feel lousy. 

 

But, this now severe itching is driving me nuts. I found what looked like one small "blood blister, about half way up on my upper arm, up from my elbow. It almost reminded me of the severe wasp sting I had last year, but as far as I know, of course I have not been stung by any type of wasp. Plus, I don't think mosquito's are out and even if they were this is not from a mosquito, I don't think either. 

 

*By what I know about "shingles" and what I have looked up, and with my Lupus and RA, that makes me a higher risk to get them, it "might be" shingles dammit. If anything touches my skin from just below my elbow, in the bend of my elbow and then about up to this "green spot" it makes me want to scratch the heck of out it, but it burns, stings and tingles. I did not know that you can have shingles and not have an eruption of the blisters/rash that usually appear. My guess since I read that the rash actually may not appear for several days after the pain and itching has happened, it kind of looks like I may have some "rash-like" places especially in the bed of the elbow. Good gosh, what else... I also have doctors appts. Monday for my hip f/u, Tuesday to Dallas to see my Rheumatologist, and Thursday back to Dallas to have my pain pump refilled. I also have been fighting a bad headache along with my upset stomach. Anyway, I guess I will just wait and see what this looks and feels like tomorrow. I thought I would be putting that cabinet together the rest of the way today, but with my stomach so nauseated, right now I think heading for the sofa is best for while at least until my tummy feels better. Take care everyone, there are all kinds of "bugs", the Flu and other illnesses around right now... Rhia Steele "All things Autoimmune"

 

Here are a couple of websites with information on Shingles:

 

http://www.healthline.com/health-slideshow/early-symptoms-shingles 

 

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/shingles/basics/symptoms/con-20019574 

 

 

 

 

Friday's Addition of my Newspaper "Life Chronic Pain & Autoimmune Systemic Diseases & Dementia

For All of you that may not know that I also have a Daily Newspaper that contain all types of articles about Chronic Pain, Dementia, RA, other Autoimmune Diseases, Lupus, and everything that pertains to these types of Systemic Illnesses, Chronic Illnesses, Dementia and Chronic Pain Issues.

From articles about medications, and the "trauma" we are in as far as getting our pain and Opioid prescriptions, our doctors, the government involvement in medications, Chronic Pain people and how more and more people are becoming "victims" of these diseases, Sjogren's is another one.

There are articles about Cannabis and how it is helping some Chronic Pain patients, and other alternative types of treatments, from Acupuncture, Yoga, other relaxation treatments, and the latest on research of new and upcoming medications and other things to help ALL of the horrible illnesses and diseases, plus I also put my blog posts there usually. But, there are video's and articles from anywhere like the Arthritis Foundation, to Lupus, and the Alzheimer's and Dementia Non-Profits.

Please stop by daily and check it out. I would really love to have you come by. I update at least once daily, sometimes more than that, so it is always current.


http://news.autoimmunearthriticsystemiclife.com/#

The name of the Newspaper is:

Life Chronic Pain & Autoimmune Systemic Diseases & Dementia®

With Will, Hope, Faith, many prayers from many people, I am able to do some things I thought I would never do again after the hip fractures.

I couldn't resist taking these photo's today. First of all, I actually put MAKE-UP ON twice this week! LOL!! Then today I went over to Waxahachie to Lowe's and I found the cabinet I was looking for. But. I just had my car, so I knew I could not fit it in... I'll either order it and have it delivered, or Jason may help me sometimes next week. I really need to research some of the wallboard etc to put up in the back bedroom and finish out the laundry room....

 Anyway, I actually went over there and decided since I am "very stable" especially the hip now, I would wear my new "ankle boots". They have a small heel on them but i felt I could handle walking in them, so on they went. Also, a couple of the nurses and my Orthopedic surgeon, and the anesthesiologist even all were taken back and kind of made fun of my belly button ring. I had forgotten to take it out before they took me to surgery, so I was already on the operating table and I took it off and they taped it to my bed. ;) So, I made a photo of my belly button ring, just to show you can be (OH LORD) 57 yrs old and still 'court" fashion. 

I got back to town and decided to stop at HEB's and pick up a few items. I had a young woman stop me and tell me how great I looked in my outfit... :) That truly made my day!!! So, I share with you what I was so proud of. When i 1st had the hip fractures, I was so bummed, I felt I may never be able to walk without a cane, or at least for a long while, plus I felt I may never be able to wear my "sensible" heeled boots.... and here it is on Feb. 13th 8 weeks, I am able to do what I thought may never happen :)

Finding some kind of "Quiet" in all of the Chaotic Realms of my Own Daily Life, what I want, what I need to do, and why I am NOT doing some of the things I think I "want" to do... as I said "chaotic"

If I sound "off" today, I feel "off".... I've been having so many nightmares, or just plain terrible dreams, I even began waking myself up and writing them down... and my sleep is all off schedule... I get up way earlier than I had been, and by the time 9PM comes around, I am ready to lay down. I try to watch a movie, and sometimes I do, other times I wake up and the movie is over, and the TV is still on... and the weather is really messing with me... although it is warm here, our humidity levels are so high, it appears as if it has rained, and I even Peanut acting a bit "off" ... we did have a full moon, but this has been going on now with me for several weeks. I "think" I am just sick of being in the house so much, and although I have a billion things I can do, for the most part, I just cannot get motivated enough to do them. I've thought it was my diet, so I went back to eating breakfast earlier, like I did while in the hospital...

 so I try to eat by about 8:30AM or so, but then by 2PM, which is too late to eat "lunch" because I eat dinner by about 5:45 for the most part, so I even made some of my own homemade granola... I have to get more stuff to go into it, but it turned out good, and this way I can keep out the nuts and stuff that my dentures just cannot take... I bought some "trail mix" and they have whole almonds in it, and even when I chopped them up more, I still cannot chew or bite on an almond, they are just too hard, and oddly enough, I like the "flavor" of almonds, but I am not crazy about the nuts themselves... I love walnuts, and they are a bit less hard, but I realized while I was looking for granola recipes, you can even put like Cheerios cereal in it, and other things I had not thought about... I used "brown sugar Splenda" in it and a little bit of honey... then put my favorite spices, allspice, cinnamon, cardamon, ginger, and nutmeg... 

and I had a few dried dates, and I took the dried cranberries out of the trail mix, and they had some dried cherries in it... plus I put coconut in it before I put it in the oven... I want to get it a bit "chunkier" though... so probably more honey or brown sugar, so it will "stick together" a bit more... then I need to grab several of my favorite dried fruits to go in it, and those now are easy to find... anyway, I am just having a tough time trying to figure out where to "stick myself"... I came down with a sore throat the last couple of days, and I know everywhere in Ennis I go people are coughing and sneezing, and hoarse, and the flu, and some other viral stuff is going around, plus lots of people are suffering from pneumonia, which I HOPE that new vaccine I took early in the fall helps to keep me away from the pneumonia.. I had it like 2 or 3 years in a row, twice in both lungs, so I don't want any of that if I can stay the heck well. Besides if I come down with something like that it delays my possible new RA medication, and/or my neck surgery... and then this morning, for some odd reason, I was getting up off the sofa, and "hit" the nerve I guess going down my left leg...

 I NEVER usually have issues with that side, but it burned and stung like I was on fire... so I am not sure, if I happened to have "rolled" on it getting up or if my lower back is acting up, but this time on my left side... when I've had kidney stones, my left side usually hurts worse than the right. So, I first thought oh crap, not a kidney stone... but it is more I think all weather related... my hip and right leg have hurt now for about 3 days or so... I even have been getting Peanut on his leash, and the days it is nice outside, we walk 4 or 5 times during the day.... he loves it ... and he got upset with me this morning. I had to go around to the back and get one of the smaller tree limbs that I need to get into the trash, plus I had a whole trash can full of limbs and tomorrow is trash day. I always try and bring the cans up to the side of my house, especially if we have bad weather, so I don't have to go around to the back if it is rainy or cold... so he was upset. I could not hold his leash, and try and bring the limb and the can up to the front... but I had him out for a little while to pick up the newspapers, and it is still damp outside... I figure it will either "cure me" or "kill me: as the saying goes, to get out and walk around for a bit...

 I've got fire ants coming out again, so it is time to get the fire any granules out, but also time to spread the granules out I buy for spring and summer. I have to do it early as of now, since we have basically not "had any real winter weather yet" so the bugs, ants, and every other kind of insect, fleas, will be in the yard if I don't get them under control BEFORE they start.. Anyway, Lots of things I could do, and I need a cabinet, preferably with doors on it. I want to take all of my tools and such I have on two tables in my back bedroom, and get them organized into the cabinet, and off those tables... The room is a damned mess... and although it is my own "controlled chaos" (I KNOW where everything is) still it looks horrible, and I've got to go through some boxes of stuff and throw away some things... but I have so many "hand tools" like pliers, screwdrivers, my cordless drills, and nails and the list of "things" I keep and need the small stuff, just needs to be organized, and put away neatly so I can get that room painted, and get the window repaired that is still broken from hail over 2 YEARS ago,...

 I fear anytime one of these bad winds will come, and it will knock out my "duct taped" window, and I will be up the creek - and mad because I have not fixed it yet... so I have MANY PROJECTS, like my writing, around the house, my advocacy stuff, and my lists go on and on, but my "motivation" is lacking right now.... I just cannot stand to "feel this way"... like I am kind of "lost" in my own sea of "stuff" and can't find which way to get my bearings and "sail" the path that I 1st need to, then go from there... I SWORE TO MYSELF after I got home from the hip fractures, I WOULD WRITE THIS NEXT BOOK... yet I continue to "not be able" to "begin" ... I almost feel like starting at the "back of the book" and work forward, rather than beginning and then coming to an end... the "latest" things to go in there are very fresh in my mind, thus the other stuff is already written down, but i must wade through all of it, and get it in some type of organized chaos, so it will half-assed make sense to whomever reads it...

 I have my drums and keyboard, BUT the right leg, will be the one along with the right foot for the bass... and the type of exercise I would get from "banging" on the drums maybe actually good for my hip and foot... it may help to strengthen those muscles both in my upper leg and in the foot also... My crap with the writing also has to do with my shoulder, and neck... and actually my lower back also, and might as well admit it my hands and wrists... When I sit here for very long, typing etc. my shoulders, neck, wrists, fingers and lower back begin to just burn... from the impinged nerves... and now the RA has gotten to the place my thumbs, wrists, and portions between my fingers are swollen, and stiff and it hurts to type for very long... I THINK IT IS TIME FOR ME TO GET THE HECK OUT OF THE HOUSE OVERNIGHT, THEN GET MY NEW PUPPY... AND try to take all of the chaotic crap, I "feel" I need to do, and sit down to re-organize my priorities again... I've drifted again between those things I "want" to do, and those things I feel I NEED to do... and what lies in between is a bunch of stuff, that keeps me in knots half the time....

Talking about our own Advocacy work, activism, the GOOD you TRULY DO, & What makes "us tick" - all of us differ one to the other... and Chronic Illnesses and pain can create and reek havoc on us, as well as age....

I have a "surprise" for everyone, but I wanted to wait until our newspaper publishes it here locally, then I will post it on Facebook, in my personal newspaper and on my blog. I have a "Press Release" from a project, that is really a vital program for research in many different realms of chronic illnesses and/or pain. I've participated two times so far, after they "found" me. 

The 1st time, I guess we did not do a news release, but they have this time. I was so thrilled about it, because I always have to sign a NDA (non-disclosure affidavit) each year they ask me to do my part. I want to share it, not just because if it being "me" but MORE to show ALL OF YOU, HOW YOUR INPUT, YOUR ADVOCACY, WHETHER ONLINE, emails, a blog, Facebook, Twitter, or however you may help out when it comes to activism DOES MAKE A DIFFERENCE! I've done advocacy and activist items now for about 5 years, for different organizations and in different realms. Some of them, really in depth, like getting to go to Congress in Washington DC with the Arthritis Foundation, or posting blog articles, or my Facebook things that I read, post, and try to help provide viable and possible solutions for so many of us, that truly need to be helped, whether through knowledge (which believe me KNOWLEDGE IS POWER, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR OWN HEALTH, ILLNESSES, PHYSICIANS, SURGERIES, and all types of medical needs we step into during life.) I found out that although "some doctors do not like "educated" patients' MANY OF THEM are extremely happy to see patients taking an initiative to reach out, look for answers, make lists, ask questions, and not sit back and just rely on what our physicians tell us. 

LIFE and PATIENTS are too many and too busy, and our medical people NEED us to know all we can... so it saves lives, even our own. If you KNOW your medications, what you take, what you are allergic to, or have an idea about all of your medical issues, your surgeries and symptoms that are due to either a chronic medical illness such as RA or Lupus. Or if you are diabetic, you KNOW your own body, what you CAN eat, how to keep your blood sugar evened out, or other medications, know the side effects, understand when you NEED to call your doctor, OR when that side effect may not HURT you or even after a few days go away, rather than trying to call a doctor's office, and either stop the medication or go on taking it when something may not be right about it. I can almost go in when one of my joints, or my spine, or my muscles, or tendons (since MUSCLES CAN BE TIGHTENED BY EXERCISE) and TENDONS HAVE TO BE SURGICALLY REPAIRED OFTEN TIMES BECAUSE THEY DO NOT GET TIGHT AGAIN, LIKE A MUSCLE MIGHT...

That is why when you have a "torn rotator cuff" in a shoulder, you "may" strengthen the muscles, but if those "tendons" that make up the rotator cuff are too lax, or torn completely away from the bone itself, surgery may be the only option to get back mobility, strength, get rid of pain or much of it, and then strengthen the muscles after the tendons are repaired. You would be shocked and I know even ...

I recently began to totally "understand" the true difference between tendons and muscles. I "asked" the question, and my foot specialist explained it to me... like a rubber band may "stretch" like a muscle... but if it is attached to a board, and you actually tear it away from that board, no amount of exercise will give you back the loss from a tear. I now also realize WHY when someone TEARS TENDONS in their foot, or leg, it takes MONTHS AND MONTHS EVEN WITH SURGERY, to get that tendon "healed". It has to "attach" back to that bone. So, like my shoulders, or my left elbow the "severe tennis elbow" I had was "torn" away from the bone. My orthopedic surgeon attached the tendons back to my bones, with screws, nuts etc... BUT it took a long time for that tendon to actually "grow itself" back to the elbow, and often times, they don't attach back themselves, that is why, so often you never can do some of what you did with that shoulder, elbow, ankle, and so forth as you could at one time.

Before I broke the hip, I had just about made up my mind to try and snow ski one more time in my life. That used to be my "birthday present" the week of my birthday for many years.... but after the replaced knees, and the shoulder replacement, I felt maybe I should not chance "wrecking" one of them again. But, I had decided I would give it a try once more... and thought about making a trip to Santa Fe NM, I've skied there as well as Wolf Creek Pass that I LOVED! 

But Santa Fe has lots of new courses, and much more to offer than they once did, and it is about 7 hours closer than Pagosa Springs, CO where you stay to ski Wolf Creek. But, once the hip was fractured, I then knew there would be no way I would try to ski... not really because of the break of the hip BUT a fear now since my bones are so severely taken away with osteoporosis, my fear would be to "break" more bones, or another hip, or injure my back worse, thus my days of skiing are over with. I have great memories... and in fact yesterday when I was going through looking for the photo's with the fish, deer etc... I started to scan a pic of me, when the "big hair" craze was in... Gosh I wished I still looked that young.... ;) Alas time has become somewhat of an enemy when it comes to skin, aging, and how our lines, wrinkles and so forth seem to develop out of nowhere.....

I was given a "press release" that I am very proud of ;)m- Goes to show ANY Advocacy Work is well worth doing especially for Chronic Pain and Illnesses

I've really been down and out lately at the numbers that are coming to my blog. Used to I would have at least 75-100 and sometimes 300 or over. But, over the past 4 months, even before I went into the hospital I noticed a huge drop in those coming to my blog.

I know "Google" have changed a great deal of their SEO stuff, BUT, I have many of their ideas and recommendations that I use. I've not went through the entire "book" of recommendations, BUT, I usually post everyday, sometimes more than once. I do miss sometimes, such as when I was "out of pocket" due to the hip fracture, but even then I still posted once I was feeling a bit better and had my laptop to post to all of my social media places.

The one thing that I have not done "much" and continue to try and not do, is get too deep into the "political" issues that are invading our lives DAILY! I know many are like myself and HOPED that AFTER THE ELECTION some of the DAILY CRAP WOULD STOP!

Well, I should have known much better than that. With the "Donald Duck" elected LOL, there is NO way to SHUT HIM UP NOR the NEWS. Everything he does, tweets, says, posts, and probably what he eats for his 3 meals a day are NOW LARGER ISSUES ON THE NEWS, THAN THE ELECTION!!!!!

I am SICK TO the point of NAUSEA hearing about "The Duck" this, that and the other.... I cannot even "type his name" it makes me so ill to see or hear about one damned thing he does.

I was a "voter" and I've voted for many years, without missing many. Of course I feel if we "vote" then we do have a right to GRIPE! But, for those WHO DO NOT VOTE, then you do not have the RIGHT TO FUSS because you did not allow YOUR VOICE TO BE HEARD!


I KNOW that my "typical" daily life may not interest you. thus I "try" my best, to put something useful, fun, information that you can use, new items from The Arthritis Foundation, to WEGO, to other health and human information especially for us that remain all too ill, from Chronic Pain and/or illnesses.

I am HAPPY that although I had TWO HIP FRACTURES, now in 3 days it will be 90 days since that 1st surgery, and I am doing very well. Even without a cane, and in fact, I left it at home yesterday and did not even take it with me.

I realize at times, I am still leery about being almost too cautious, in fear that another fall could even be worse. I also am in fear that if I don't try and do all I can to "never cure" the osteoporosis, BUT try and build "muscle" and "put protein" back into my body, I have a far better chance of not being a "fall victim".

The woman that was in the room at the Rehab place with me for part of the time, had already been in the hospital like 3 times BEFORE CHRISTMAS, IN LIKE 3 MONTHS! She had pneumonia a couple of times and was put in for that. She has also been a "Diabetes 1" victim since being a teenager, which I watched even after all these years, especially without a proper diet like she should have had in Rehab, she was always having way too many problems with her Diabetes. Then she had fallen and been in Rehab before Christmas I guess in August or September, then fell broke her pelvis, WHICH SURGERY OFTEN CANNOT REPAIR A BROKEN PELVIS, thus you have to spend WEEKS AND WEEKS IN BED TO ALLOW IT TO HEAL ON ITS OWN! Her pain had to be horrible. I know HOW MUCH PAIN I WAS IN WITH THE FRACTURES TO MY HIP, and I was yelling, screaming, cussing, bitching, crying and my entire neighborhood probably thought someone was attacking me, or I had just lost the rest of my mind. MANY of them came when they saw my son's vehicle here to ask what happened, that I was SCREAMING AND CRYING SO MUCH, they could not imagine what had happened. No one I guess heard me screaming and yelling and crying, while I was still in the house for over 3 hours, being too stubborn to call the ambulance. I "hoped" I had a "bad bruise" NOT a damned brake to my hip. But, alas dammit the news was worse, because I had TWO breaks in it.

I cannot begin to even express "ALL I LOST" in those weeks and weeks, through the surgery, through being an inpatient in a Rehab Center, from my own self-esteem, pride, I felt unworthy, useless, a burden, and just a totally screwed up person to be going through this and making my kids go through this also.

LOTS played into my issues with the entire thing, because of losing Mom to Lewy Bodies Dementia in June of last year, and having to take care of her, the 6 months prior, I was already more than behind on "caring for me"... I cancelled neck surgery at least 4 times, and just put my RA medication on hold, since I just felt I COULD NOT leave and go to Dallas for a few hours.

I AM STILL trying to "clean up" everything that needs to be done, and actually am totally confused, because I feel I did not "grieve" enough before trying to begin taking care of other affairs once she past away, that now I get to a place I am not sure what, what not, which, how, is done, not done, and my own "Christmas Present" to myself, is still sitting in my hallway, along with the new rug for my living room. But, now with the hip thing, I fear trying to turn the old sofa over in order to get the backs off of it. That is what has to be done, before it can be taken out of the house. Once that is gone, I can once again clean the hardwood floor very well, put the rug down and get my new sofa/futon/chaise lounge finally put up and using it.

So, NO the political issues I speak of are usually tied into "medical things".... whether clinical trials, or laws, or trying to get the government to fund certain research projects, and so forth, my "own personal beliefs" in whom should be or not be President, and so on down the agenda, I feel I did my part, I can now bitch all I want, AND then go on with my life and pray we have NO ALLIES by the time one YEAR has gone by with the "Donald Duck"....



P.S. I WILL POST THAT PRESS RELEASE AS SOON AS MY NEWSPAPER PUTS IT OUT.

Saturday is "D" Day for me (Discharge Day) from Rehab - Excited,Thrilled, Terrified, how to "move back" into real life yet knowing the Osteoporosis could cause further issues

Finally I knew that day was coming soon - the "D-Day" of my own life, discharging and going home from Rehab...

I've been asking "how much longer" now for months it seems; although it has been "weeks" and not months... Yet, after being told yesterday, I would be leaving Saturday, I felt a "good panic" and a "bad panic" in my head and gut.

I am thrilled to GET HOME! To my life, my eating, sleeping, and living habits, BUT I am still going to be limited as far as "what I can and can't do" - and that scares me. I am so used to doing my own thing, going to the market when I want, cleaning my house the way I want, messing around in the yard, caring for my plants, doing laundry, and all of the usual stuff, from vacuuming, cooking and cleaning, yet just now I figured out with this walker and going home, that even carrying a cup of coffee is not going to be the easiest thing in the world... trying to push that walker with one hand, and carrying the coffee was kind of "difficult". But, I've got to learn to "make my own ways" around, and hopefully I will be on a cane soon, where one hand will be free to carry some things...

BUT, on the other hand I am totally terrified to go home... since I left lots has changed just within a month tomorrow actually. I fell on the 13th of December and had surgery that night. I got to rehab about the 18th or so, and in the chaos of it all, I lost my precious pup Bub's who I feel grieved himself to death missing me. He was so upset for me to leave for a day, or a few hours, I think he just quit eating, drinking and laid on his favorite spot, and wasted away, waiting for me to come home. He passed away, and he had lost so much weight, I just could not believe it, when he died in my arms a couple of weeks ago. Peanut, is so much younger, so he has gotten used to Jason being there, and he so far seems to be doing okay.

I am going to be getting another puppy soon. But, first I've got to get me at the house and settled in. I need rails built on my front steps, and I need I feel a new set of steps built on the back. The concrete ones back there are so steep, even with rails, I feel they maybe too steep for me to try and bring groceries in, and so forth.

I never thought I would be one to be worried about being alone, but that is not because I fear someone getting in etc...I fear having an accident, and hurting myself again. This hip fracture was a total accident, but I am going to have to try and learn to slow down, not try and take on so many projects at once, and know that "tomorrow" on many thing is another day. After all, I face neck surgery soon, and possibly lower back surgery this year. I have that new car sitting there, and I am so used to doing so much on my own, waiting to have "help" putting on the plates, putting in the sticker and so forth, I am not one to put off something waiting on someone else to do it for me... So, my fear is my own restlessness. I also need to rearrange my kitchen where I can reach things that now are in the top shelves, and I must stand on my little 3 step ladder to reach. But, my kitchen cabinets are not all that great, and trying to arrange them will be difficult. Now I wonder if I should have picked Mom's house, maybe it would be easier to get around in... yet it is what it is and I've got to cope - I also know I am going to owe $$ on this damned fall and hip fracture, plus I'll have to cough up funds on the neck surgery, and lower back surgery also... so those in themselves are enough to worry me. My credit issues I spent 10 years or more getting straightened out from my 2nd marriage and all of the high bills he ran up maxing out credit cards, the last thing I need is to screw it all back up with doctor and hospital bills.

So, YES I am thrilled, and YES I am TERRIFIED to go home at the same time.....

Chronic Pain Patients and the "absurd" information on abuse and New Medication for pain with Abuse Deterrent in it

https://www.madinamerica.com/…/stop-the-war-on-chronic-pai…/



 I found this article interesting and more to the point when "chronic pain patients" are attacked for something they are NOT causing. I great example (I was not attacked but) since I had to have surgery yesterday, of course I had to be "NPO" thus I could have have ANYTHING to eat, drink and even my meds were taken away after midnight... all of which is necessary, BUT my surgery was NOT until 1PM the next day!
So, like MOST told me and I know myself, I could have been given my critical meds, such as my muscle relaxer, pain med, & my anxiety med...but I was made to wait UNTIL AFTER 3:30PM or longer, rather than just stopping it at 8 hours...


IF the surgery would have been early morning such as 6 or 7 AM etc then it would make sense.. anyway, same with this... "true and legitimate patients are being "punished" or horrified, because with all of the "crap" out there in the news we fear being without our meds.... yesterday, I was in horrid pain by the time I got to the hospital after waiting so long, then checking in, getting prepped for surgery, & then going under (which I was thrilled to go under anesthesia, knowing then I would be free of pain, plus I would FINALLY get some pain meds for relief.... 
  

It is a nightmare if you live in terrible pain daily, or almost daily, and then are terrified all of a sudden your meds could be jerked away... so those that don't understand, should be "educated" on just how chronic pain invades and takes over your life... and quality of life goes null and void, for the patient, family and way of life...

And from the Pain News Network....

https://www.painnewsnetwork.org/stories/2017/1/9/fda-approves-new-long-acting-painkiller

FDA Approves New Long Acting Painkiller  

 

Just came out a couple of days ago!

Hoping that 2017 "pushes" out all the grief, sadness and illness and brings peace, wellness and secuirty to myself and everyone!

I have been "quiet" - but I had more terrible stuff going on... Bubba my Chiweenie, got suddenly ill, and passed away in my arms night before last. All of the loss surrounding myself and my family is really taking its toll on all of us. I've had all kinds of complications, from the anemia, to a huge hematoma just where the surgery on my hip was done. I look "deformed" because that hip looks like it is 4 times bigger than it should look, then my liver enzymes and lab work was high and all messed up. 

Then I still have this place on my right foot that I swear has to be fractured. I cannot stand to put any weight on it, which hinders my therapy for my hip. I just want things to get back to some kind of normal so I can go home. Even though everyone is extremely nice here, I don't want to stay one moment more than I have to. I had hoped I would be home by January 1st, but looks like that is not happening. My doctor wants to leave the staples in another 5 days or so, due to the large hematoma where the surgery and the staples are... 

PT is going fine, other than me having such heck with that right foot. They re-x-rayed it last night, and the woman doing the X-rays showed them to me, and said she was not the doctor but it didn't appear to have a fracture, and she mentioned a bone spur... but I still insist that due to the pain, the "redness" where it hurts and the pain and swelling from it kind of around and down my foot, something is wrong, and they have not found it. Anyway, wishing everyone a Safe and Happy New Year's eve and Day... I hope is 2017 brings more happiness, peace, and security, and wellness for myself and everyone.... Rhia

How to Move forward with severa Systemic diseases, Lupus, Sjogren's, RA & knowing when everything feels so out of sorts, even with the New Year Upon me....

A piece of me feels as if I am blocking out all that we went through with Mom, then losing her in June so suddenly. Then the ordeal of paperwork, and all that happens even after the funeral is over.

Then I've went from one issue such as both ankles severely twisted, to sinusitis, to pneumonia, to Lupus flares, then to take such a horrible fall. and break my right hip in two places... to wind up being in the Rehab on Christmas, and maybe for awhile after the 1st of the year.

I just know that things have to get better. I am so terribly tired of being ill in one way or the other. I tried so hard to NOT allow this to happen to me. I knew my chances of a fall could lead to a break of a bone or joint. That is one of the very last things I wanted r needed. But, when I hit that hardwood floor two weeks ago the coming Tuesday, I knew it was not good.

I wanted to believe that it was bruised badly, yet when I could not drag it on the floor without screaming out in pain, I knew then it was bad.

I've been in a turmoil over the state our nation is in. Now with the "person" that is to be our new President, totally terrifies the hell out of me. I cannot fathom him having enough tact with out own Congress, much less any other nation.

I am having to almost "hide" my feelings this season. Here I see many families, together, excited about kids, Christmas, and this very special time of the year, yet I feel left in a "dark fog" wondering once again why I feel "punished", why did I have to take a fall as I did, and break a hip. And what are the chances that I wind up having another surgery if this hip does not work without an entire replacement since the osteoporosis could cause issues.

Frankly, this is one of the very 1st times I've been this worried about my own health issues. I watched my Grandmother and my Mom be able especially my Grandmother take care of themselves for YEARS alone. Now, I fear everything, from just getting out of the bed to going home. I've always been so bound and determined to do my stuff myself. Now, between the Lupus, the RA, the Osteoporosis, and now a broken hip, that I will lose some of my independence, which that thought bothers me badly.

The latest is I have a huge hematoma where the surgery was done on my hip. I knew it had been looking like a I had "2nd hip" and was sticking out but I just thought it was swelling. But when the nurse went to put a new dressing on it yesterday she found it was much more than swelling, and they took pics of it, and sent them to my doctor. Sure enough it is probably a  huge hematoma, and they are putting ice packs on it 4 times daily, and I won't even get the staples out for another week.

My foot still hurts and I still think I have a hairline fracture in it. I guess I should ask for it to be X-Rayed again. I am just so sick of being poked and prodded on, I hate to say that anything hurts.

I have to wonder if anything in my life will ever become "normal" again?

WEGO Health Blog Challenge for Monday 28th, 2016 - 5 Challenges and 5 Victories

Challenges and Victories (the WEGO Blog Challenge from November for Monday 28th, 2016)


As many of us have faced, it always feels as if the challenges tend to stick out stay with us, rather than the victories. I feel that is more likely about "Human Nature". As humans we tend to "dwell" on the things that feel lousy to us.

Challenges

As far as "Challenges - the 1st Challenge was truly facing the fact, I DID have not just ONE but "several" possible Autoimmune Illnesses, of which any or all, could cause all kinds of havoc in my life.

2) Facing the tests, all the labs (my 1st go round with lab work, they took 18 TUBES of blood, I am a difficult stick anyway but had to go back 2 or 3 times because some of the blood did not get to the lab quickly enough and was ruined before those tests could be ran.

3) How many so-called "Rheumatologists" do NOT have the "same thoughts and mindset" on Lupus, RA, Sjogren's and all of the other Autoimmune disorders. I found that some did not deal with "ALL' but possibly only dealt with one or two of them. I also found out that MANY doctors (specialists) ONLY went by "blood tests". IF you did not have a "positive lab on RA for example) some of them really were not convinced there was a "sero-negative" RA. I went through at least 7 or 8 Rheumatologists BEFORE finally finding the Rheumatologist that fit my illnesses and needs.


4) Trying to "find" the right medications, then trying to get the doctors to allow me to try them, and the insurance to pay for them, and then finding that medication or medications that even worked for my particular symptoms.


5) Losing my own "caretaker", then becoming a caretaker twice, all the while letting my own illnesses, continue to deteriorate my joints, and body. After putting off surgeries, now I facing further degeneration of my cervical and lumbar spine. I've come to find out that losing all of my teeth, all of the joint replacements, surgeries, many of my other illnesses, are ALL due to the autoimmune diseases and medications also. It seems there are so MANY different health problems that can be caused by AI diseases and/or the medications.

Victories     

1) Finally getting "diagnosed after MANY years of not one physician "getting" that it was Autoimmune related issues. 

2) Becoming aware that I was able to take my illnesses, become a "voice", advocate, Ambassador, for some of these, and that my blog, writing, and my books; along with Social Media really gave me a chance to MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

3) Getting to go to Washington DC in 2014 with the Arthritis Foundation! That was a dream come true. All my life, I had said I wanted to stand on the White House steps, and TELL MY STORY! Basically that is what I truly was able to do. I was able to "tell Congress" what my own personal journey through hell and back was like.


4) Finding the ONE Rheumatologist who has helped me, along with my Primary Care Physician, who Thank goodness was the physician who actually "found" my Autoimmune Issues.


5) Continuing to be able to slowly but surely "move forward". At times these diseases are "dammit the hell" bad, and put me on the sofa for even a week or more. BUT, so far, I am able to put one foot in front of the other each day, and even though the pain, and all of what comes with these illnesses can get horrible, I so far am able to do some things myself, realize when I can't, and be "smart enough" to admit that I need help with certain things. 

continuing with another "Victory"

For the most part, I feel "fortunate" to have somewhat of a "victory" over whatever happened to me in 2010, when I was so extremely ill and in the hospital for over 6 weeks having several surgeries, even a 2nd Heart Attack, yet survived to come home, take months to really "get better" and still be here right now to "tell about it"!! 

 

#HAWMC

Throwback Thursday! WEGO BLOG #HAWMC a "phost" from the past? (Christmas Eve 2014)

WEGO HEALTH Bloggers Challenge for 2016 - 'Throwback Thursday" One of my blogs from the past and why I picked it to go back and "share" it again.

 Many of you know how "messed, mixed, and flat horrid most of my year in 2014 was. This post explains a great deal of what went on, and why 2014 had an incredible start, I got to go to Washington DC for the Arthritis Foundations Annual Summit and although I had been down with a severe Lupus Flare, I had been to our Urgent Care the Friday before I was to leave and the doctor who knew a great deal about Lupus, since he suffers from it also, gave me enough corticosteroids for a horse I think (LOL, well not quite that much but enough to make me feel like I was brand new by the morning at 4AM I left for DFW Airport, for the flight to DC!

Little did I know what would happen that last day of the Summit March 26th, 2014. A horrendous nightmare of an event, that forevermore changed my entire life. There are days it still effects me, even now. So, here is the post from then:

http://www.autoimmunearthriticsystemiclife.com/2014/12/christmas-eve-2014.html

Since the post is pretty long, rather than try to post all of it here, I decided to just post the URL (link) to it. That was a year of hell to say the least, then 2015, was not much better... I DID get the honor of being a "Platinum Ambassador" in 2015 BUT, did not get to attend the Summit that March, for reasons why in 2014, along with other issues that happened due to that "eventful" day. 

Then, thinking I would "start new" for 2016, only to become, someone without their own caretaker, that became a "caretaker" for my own Mom, who up until January 2016, had been in pretty good health. Little did we know what awaited us the first 6 months of this year...

WEGO Bloggers Challenge for Sunday November 13th - "One of the "BEST THINGS THAT Happened this past week?"

November 13th, 2016 WEGO Health Bloggers Challenge for Friday - "Finding the "good" from this past week"

I seem to not have "many good things" as of this past about a year. So, when those time come along, they are certainly not taken for granted, and I try and hold on to that good memory, so I can get through all of the circumstances of pain, burn out, and pure life's grief it can give to us....

#HAWMC

Having the "most" of the past 5 days of this week, where I was able enough to get some things done in the house, like moving some furniture, dusting, and doing that "deeper" cleaning, even washing the drapes (although I don't have them back up yet) & also being able to do some limb cutting from my trees that dearly need it. The drought here several years back did a number on them and almost killed them. So, they needed to be pruned back really far before winter col, cold hits, so they will have a change to put some "good" new growth on, and not look so "bare" in the inner parts of the tree.

I have a great deal more to do, but I got some of that cut up and put out for the trash collectors this morning, Now the larger limbs I have left I have to get cut down small enough so they will pick those up.

I also made a decision (FINALLY) to order a new area rug for my living room and have my eye on a sofa that will be high enough ff the ground the dogs will no longer be able to have their "peeing contests" when they get mad, and soil the carpet OR the sofa.

I am hurting from head to toe, I am hoping to have my neck surgery done in December, and try to help stop this pain. It is another reason that I am not keeping up with my blogging and writing, I am in so much pain, on my right side, shoulders,hand,wrists, swelling, now a lump at my thumb, and I am hoping that they put me on Xeljanz, because the MTX for one is NOT working, and for 2, I am having side effects again from it...

So, there is what I considered "good bits and pieces" of my week, last week.

Day 4 - #HAWMC WEGO Health Writer's Blog Challenge - for the Month of November 2016

Day 4 - #HAWMC - A Letter to "Myself" at the time I was diagnosed knowing now what I did not know then....

 

 

Dear Rhia (self),


You had already "figured out" that something must be wrong with your immune system. You had been through enough doctors, tests, had so many symptoms resembling Lupus, RA, and several others like Sjogren's and Raynaud's that you really did not know much about.

When the 1st round of labs came back, from my own PCP (who diagnosed me at first), he knew that you needed to see a specialist. Although you come to find out your PCP has been more beneficial with the Lupus and Lupus Flares, that the Rheumatologist, who concentrates more on the RA than the other Autoimmune diseases.

You now can recall the first Rheumatologist, even though he was quite elderly, had just came back to work after a stroke himself, but his diagnosis, just after a thorough examination gave proof enough to show not only did I show signs of Lupus, RA, Raynaud's, Sjogren's, but had findings of probable MCTD, and that was almost more frightening than the Lupus and the others.

My moments that now I wished I had realized that ALL RHEUMY"S are NOT THE SAME, is something I wished I knew when I was first diagnosed. That caused me going through at least 7 specialists, each of which had a different "edge" and look on my diseases, or lack thereof. Most of them were only "blood work" driven. Not anything to do with all of the symptoms I had for years and years.

I could have saved myself a great deal of stress, worry, and getting nowhere, had I known to search for the "proper" Rheumatologist from the beginning. I've also come to find out my doctors here at my local Urgent Care know more about my conditions, than my Rheumy's for the most part. Plus if I am in a severe flare, there is no way I could get into my Rheumy in Dallas quickly. With those at Urgent Care I can be in and out, have the medications I need, and be hopefully on the road to curving the flare, without having to drive 40 miles each way, and maybe not getting what I need.


When I found out that I had 2 or 3 other 1st cousins, all on my Mom's side with RA, then we each began to piece together that this could very well be "genetic".

I wished I had known more about Sjogren's, for one. Maybe had one doctor done more about the Sjogrnen's I would not have lost ALL OF MY TEETH WITHIN A COUPLE OF MONTHS, requiring severe pain, and many dentists visits, to have all of them pulled that were left, and then try to deal with dentures, and the expense of over 15,000.00! Now I am still left with "pretty straight" teeth, BUT "fake" in nature.

So, I also wished I had more knowledge of how I could have been a volunteer and advocate before I myself had been diagnosed. I think had I been involved in some ways with the organizations who help us I may have felt "better" about myself, and not so ashamed of what these illnesses can do to us, our minds, bodies and souls... plus relationships, friendships, and the way people "see" us after we are ill.


#HAWMC

WEGO HEALTH

https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/hawmc?source=feed_text&story_id=10154656411124254 

 FACEBOOK URL FOR POSTS FOR THE BLOGGER'S CHALLENGE

 

 

Dealing with Daily "Issues" that for those who are NOT ILL, can deal with them fine! Take someone with RA, Lupus, Joint Issues and they are Major problems! Here is my Story!

I would have to write a BOOK to tell all I've been through this past few days. First of all, my pup, Bub's who is highly allergic to any type of "bite"... was clawing and scratching himself yet I could NOT find one flea, have not seen a flea, and had been driving myself crazy. He has always had skin issues, especially being hyper-sensetive and itching... and he was whining, crawling up in my lap, and even when I asked him"Bub's are you itchy?" - he would head for the kitchen so I would give him a Benadryl. Anyway, I FINALLY got him where I could really take a good look on Friday, and found a bit of "flea dirt' (which honestly I had not known about) on his bottom...where I knew any flea loves to hide... yet still NO flea's! 

So, I sprayed him, sprayed the other one down Peanut, then salted and and put the washing type of Borax own my rugs, and let that sit. That was after spraying the outside of the house, getting more granules and broadcasting them in the back, front and everywhere I could outside. I sprayed down everything in the house with "Flea Enforcer" which a few years ago, worked like a charm, and you can spray it on even your bed, pillows, sofa etc.... so, I got some of that done, had to leave the salt and Borax to sit for awhile, and went to run errands. I was SUPPOSED TO LEAVE YESTERDAY FOR THE CASINO! 

So, I as "trying" to get ready for that. I had a million things to do, in the yard, in the house, running errands (this was Saturday) and my "light" to tell me my tires were "under inflated" came on. It does that when the weather changes from hot to cooler, but I checked them and they needed air. But, it was already late in the afternoon, I was exhausted, needed to get home to vacuum up that stuff, pack my clothes, so I decided to wait and I would air up the tires Sunday afternoon. So, I get up Sunday, preparing my meds, my clothes, deciding what to wear, and also when to leave to try and "avoid" some of the rush hour traffic Monday morning in Dallas, headed to Winstar. So, I go and get me some quarters (now it is like 1.00 OR MORE for air) and I went to air them where I always do... downtown, at the station across the street fro the automated car wash. Theirs is on the side, and not a lot of traffic etc... so I can park where I can be as up close as I can be... So I get all of them stem covers off, get my quarters ready, and get the line ready to pull, and it comes on, and I TRIED AND TRIED AND TRIED, but my arms and especially HANDS are so stiff, swollen, and I guess weak from the RA and all the trouble I've been having -

 I TRIED THREE TIMES (3.00) and I STILL DID NOT GET THOSE TIRES AIRED UP! By then I was upset, hurting worse than ever, pissed, off (AND THIS GUY CIRCLED THE STATION 4 TIMES, WATCHING ME, YET NEVER OFFERED ANY HELP! THE FREAKING JERK!) Well, It is Sunday, I have no clue where to go to have anyone put air in the tires, and hell now you cannot get anyone to do it, even when I had my oil changed, I was pissed because i ASKED HIM TO AIR THEM UP, MY LIGHT WAS ON BACK THEN) I GET IN THE Car and the LIGHT IS ON, HE NEVER put the right amount of air in them, they take 35PSI IN THE FRONT AND 233 PSI IN THE BACK! I know I've done it myself and hell been doing my own tire airing up for YEARS AND YEARS! Yet, I just could not pull that damned line, hold it up to the stem tightly enough, and the push the nozzle to let the air in.... my hands, wrists, even neck and shoulders just could not let me! SO, I GO HOME IN TEARS, JUST SOBBING.... mad, and so upset, because I would NOT drive the car to Winstar without the tires aired up correctly. I wanted to leave EARLY Monday morning about 6AM or so, so I was NOT going to find anyone to help me and besides by then I did not want to hassle with the entire ordeal. SO, I wound up COMING HOME, CALLING AND CANCELING MY RESERVATION AGAIN!

 I GOT HOME DID THE vacuuming, this was already 5PM or after by the time I finished all of that, and made me and the pups some dinner, and watched a movie. So, that meant NO TRIP again... I've NOT BEEN OUT OF ENNIS SINCE BEFORE MY MOM GOT SICK IN JANUARY! I've not had ONE break, all I have done, is do paperwork (which is still not finished) paint, clean, cut down tree limbs, spend BUCKS to get rid of bees, get stung by those damned wasps, and do any and everything else, but I STILL HAVE NOT HAD EVEN ONE DAMNED AFTERNOON OF A BREAK! MY NECK IS BAD! I need surgery and now, after hurting my lower back again the time Mom got home from the hospital my lower back is always killing me... 

YES, I GO AHEAD AND CUT TREE LIMBS, AND DO EVERYTHING ELSE, HURTING OR NOT, BECAUSE HOW THE HELL DOES IT GET DONE, IF I DON'T DO IT???? If I allowed myself, I would sit on that sofa, and let myself "wallow" in all of the pain, the upset feelings, the hurt, the guilt, and the MAD PLACE THAT I AM over what I TOLD MY MOM SHE WOULD CAUSE, BEFORE SHE PASSED AWAY! NOW she is GONE, AND GUESS WHAT??? Exactly WHAT I TRIED TO WARN HER ABOUT IS HAPPENING! IT IS DAMNED IF I DO, AND DAMNED IF I DON'T.... I am too tired, hurting too badly, and need a freaking moment that I do not have to DEAL WITH CRAP! So, that is why I've not been "online".... I've not felt like it and not only that I HAVE NOT HAD EVEN A MOMENT TO BREATHE... I HAD TO GO, BUY A 12 VOLT Portable Air "compressor".... it runs off of your car, and I bought that yesterday when I found it in Wal-Mart. 

Although I still had to mess with it, and dammit, I know better, I've got to go and buy some stem covers, I always wind up dropping them... BUT I GOT MY TIRES AIRED UP CORRECTLY YESTERDAY AFTERNOON AND THE LIGHT IS NOW OFF! Plus NO MORE do I have to worry about pulling on a damned air hose, I can air my tires up anywhere.... It is small and fits right into my hatchback, with my car cleaning stuff... so PROBLEM SOLVED FINALLY!

#OneLineOneDay - the Lupus Alliance Message so Crucial for ALL of us with Lupus

Today is the day. Join the Lupus Research Alliance and thousands in the lupus community today for One Line, One Day as we spread awareness with a simple message:

Join the Lupus Research Alliance in a unified effort to free the world from lupus through the power of science. #OneLineOneDay

The Lupus Research Alliance believes in the idea of collaboration as the way to find better treatments and ultimately a cure for lupus. Today we ask you to join us in sharing this message. By working together with the entire lupus community, we will accomplish our mission.

One Line One Day is your movement. Share this message with your friends and family through Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, email - any way you would like to encourage people to help us to spread the word. Through this simple action, we will increase lupus awareness today and beyond until we reach our mission of finding a cure.

News From National Pain Report and Dealing with the Congress, CDC, and Government and Chronic Pain, Medications and much more!!!!

Chronic Pain Patient Rally Set for Washington D.C.

Posted on October 10, 2016 in Diseases & Conditions, Other with 23 Comments

by Ed Coghlan


PLEASE GIVE THIS A READ! IT WAS in my newspaper a couple of days ago, and I wanted to post it here, separately because I know MANY of you are TERRIFIED of what us, as Pain Patients, Chronically Ill, and Already been through the mill, many times shall do, if things change drastically in regard to our medications.... So, I felt this needed to "stand out"... boy I need to again, since it has been awhile post my battle since the age of 17 years old with chronic pain, that started with severe migraines, and never stopped, going into all different types of chronic illnesses, that cause horrid pain....

The YEARS I SPENT just "trying" to find a doctor, a legitimate pain physician to treat me.... and it was only about 10 years ago, I FINALLY FOUND HIM IN DALLAS TX! The man is a true "hero" in my book for sure....



http://nationalpainreport.com/chronic-pain-patient-rally-set-for-washington-d-c-8831671.html

Fearful that something is very WRONG & not sure what I want t do honestly....

First of all, I want to see who reads this. Some of those if they do, should "respond" to me quickly.

IF they DO NOT, then I know they lie to me about "reading" my blog posts and FB posts etc.


I've lost something like 24 POUNDS for no "real reason" over the past about 8 months. I "chalked" it up to stress of all I went through with my Mom, the Dementia, then the grief and everything that is STILL going on even after her passing away.

Funny how even "family" can be so damned "selfish" once they "think" they are getting a little bit of the "green stuff"... or if they are NOT, and so forth.

Anyway, I've been having severe "night sweats", I mean COLD, shivering, soaking wet to the bone, and all onto my sheets, my blanket and so forth. Those have been going on now for about 2 years off and on... but lately they are much worse.

Then I KNOW I am anemic, and have been, I take B-12 injections monthly BUT my RBC IS not BETTER but WORSE, anytime I have labs drawn.

Then there is the bone weary fatigue. I struggle with severe fatigue, and have always felt it was the Lupus, RA and so forth....

I cannot sleep, the lymph nodes in my neck stay swollen and the Left one under my ear is like a rock, and sore all the time.

THEN, I developed this one "lump" about the size of a LARGE marble on my L. Butt cheek about 6 months ago... rather than go away, now it appears like it is "sunken in" around it, with a bluish tint, almost looking bruised YET it is NOT bruising... I've had NO trauma there and now this past week up and down my outside right thigh, I began to "feel" the little lumps, about 4 or 5 of them...

I've looked and researched, and although we know often these things may mean nothing, YET I fear I may have "Non-Hodgkins" Lymphoma.

The "symptoms fit"... and with my other issues like Lupus, RA, Sjogren's, Raynaud's and so forth, my chances are much greater of having something such as this... I shall say no more for now... and see if anyone reads this....

Surviving - Being a Caretaker even after the person passes away, dealing and coping with loss & still "feeling" someone still having a hold on you from the "grave" - Decisions when you are chronically ill, in pain & trying to make everyone "happy"

I've been trying to "get over" what all has been left behind for me to deal with since June 9th, 2016 - Actually more like the start from about 9 or so years ago, when I came back to TX, to help my Mom.

Most of you that follow me, know I was an only child, my Dad passed away in 2005, and by December 2005, I moved back here from Seattle, to help my Mom. I've talked about due to Dad's upbringing in the "Depression" back in the 20's and 30's Dad's "way" of handling life was much different than those who were younger. Not that he had "bad ideas" but there were many things he could never accept, that were just a part of life, as it evolved and changed.

We each know life does not remain standing still. Each day, there is something new, whether it be something horrible like the "wars" overseas, and innocent lives, even children suffering for no reason but greed from others who want to "rule" over people,

There are also many good things that almost change daily, from cell phones, to technology, jobs, the way our country is ran, and all types of good things that can change within a breath's space.

My life, as well as many of yours have changed, evolved, grown, fallen, gotten up, and tried to march on, even through the pain and suffering, the embarrassmentand the good, bad and indifferent of this world.

Speaking of, our nation and world are in such a torment, chaos and it's hard to fathom other humans can do some of the things they do to those like them, humans. Each day the news seems to worsen over not just all of the overseas fighting, hatred, war, and such, but right here in our nation, each evening, I watch almost in horror of what act of violence has happened that day.

I was left to "take care of" all of Mom's affairs, of course Executrix of her Will/Estate, as you can call it.

Mom had made some really "bad" choices when she was alive. She did some things that as much as I had tried to help, explain, and give her insight along with her financial advisor at the time, to get her to understand, some of what she was trying to choose, could cause family issues someday after she was no longer here.

I never "told" her what to do or not do, but helped her, by explaining why I felt one way or the other, as well as her advisor also helped to guide her into not causing family grief, anymore than we would already have after she had passed away.

I had been here over 10 years, and for most of that time, I helped her with just about  everything, from bills, to putting gas in her car, to helping her and doing her taxes, explaining things she did not understand, you name it, I did it... I am an only child, and I felt it was my responsibility to help her in ALL ways, that I possibly could. I can hope that I did for the most part a decent job at it.

Although a couple of things fell through the cracks, and as I said years ago, NOW, we have a family "uproar".... that although one member "seems" to not be hurt by what has taken place I feel badly that it has, and even more upset that the other 3rd party is NOT helping, and is acting like a damned toddler, rather than a grown up adult.


I am going to go ahead and publish this although it is not finished... I will finish it and post the rest very soon...